Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

Since when do you need your whole crew to grocery shop, especially since at least one is one their phone blocking the aisle anyway?

  • Replies 21.1k
  • Views 1.4m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

Enough already with the fucking parking apps and QR codes. Solving a problem that doesn’t exist.

7 hours ago, Stringer said:

Enough already with the fucking parking apps and QR codes. Solving a problem that doesn’t exist.

I prefer using an app to pay for a parking spot instead having to pay at a machine and walk back to my car with a ticket. I don't mind the steps, but it's a whole lot easier to add time without having to go back.

Bring back the coin meters.  From a cybersecurity standpoint, the app, as well as card readers for parking, are just more avenues for malicious activity.  Not to mention the apps are an income stream for non-government contractors to take a large slice of the pie for facilitating (SEE: Chicago parking meters).  I especially hate that you can't just go feed a meter for someone just to piss off a meter maid.

Coin meters? WTF are coins? I don't remember the last time I had coins in my pocket or in my car.

 

Whatever pennies in my coin jar were used for target practice with my air rifle.

 

On 7/26/2025 at 7:57 PM, TheStoicPaisano said:

Since when do you need your whole crew to grocery shop, especially since at least one is one their phone blocking the aisle anyway?

Worst I've encountered:  Mom, Dad, two middle school aged children, grandma, and grandpa.  Every time I turned down an aisle, there they were.

Saw them in the parking lot headed to the car after the family shopping spree - two fucking bags of groceries.

Why the fuck are you in the bathroom when someone else is fumigating the room with their feces? 

This right here.

If I smell shit, I’m not going in. I can hold it like a big girl until it’s fit for Christian buttcheeks.

There is a sick culture of office shitting that I don’t get. I don’t understand anyone that doesn’t have enough sense to disregard feces.

I don’t have words for the phone thing.
20 minutes ago, tigol said:


This right here.

If I smell shit, I’m not going in. I can hold it like a big girl until it’s fit for Christian buttcheeks.

There is a sick culture of office shitting that I don’t get. I don’t understand anyone that doesn’t have enough sense to disregard feces.

I don’t have words for the phone thing.

part of it is avoiding the urge and therefore the likelihood I will vomit. I mean my wife and I obviously share a master bathroom but we don't share a bathroom... ever.... if you know what I mean.  I have no interest in ever smelling the shit of another person, ever. 

 

part of it is avoiding the urge and therefore the likelihood I will vomit. I mean my wife and I obviously share a master bathroom but we don't share a bathroom... ever.... if you know what I mean.  I have no interest in ever smelling the shit of another person, ever. 

 

Same. I don’t share a bathroom with my husband. Shit is gross.
50 minutes ago, tigol said:

I don’t understand anyone that doesn’t have enough sense to disregard feces.

The number 1 reason that bidets should be mandatory everywhere. Why does it matter that the feces smeared all over your backside is your own?  It’s still feces. Some of us aren’t savages. 

99% of the people most of you encounter every day have feces smeared all over their backsides. That’s a nice thought. 

5 minutes ago, nnm said:

99% of the people most of you encounter every day have feces smeared all over their backsides. That’s a nice thought. 

Every man's hand that you shake has had a dick in it, if you want to get technical.

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

Coin meters? WTF are coins? I don't remember the last time I had coins in my pocket or in my car.

 

Whatever pennies in my coin jar were used for target practice with my air rifle.

 

I haven't paid cash for anything in a very long time but when I did, it would piss me off so much if they gave change bills first with coins on top. That's so fucking rude! Coins are always first. 

On 7/26/2025 at 8:57 PM, TheStoicPaisano said:

Since when do you need your whole crew to grocery shop, especially since at least one is one their phone blocking the aisle anyway?

Three carts of Tide Detergent ain’t rolling out of the store unpaid by themselves. 


@destroya, @Superhero, I too love my stainless steel collar stays. Some from Amazon, some from Tyrwhitt (thanks for the Tyrwhitt link a while ago, SH). 

However, today they became a trivial thing that made me surly. The washing machine stopped working. Wouldn’t drain or spin. No front access panel. Had to drain it with a siphon and then the water under the drum with a cup. It was messy. 

Finally got to the pump, scrunched down between the wall and the washer, very limited working room.  Two collar stays stuck in the pump, prohibiting it from spinning. Got them out, all is well. 

I’m surly that it happened but pleased that I fixed it. 

Moral of the story: if you wear dress shirts, check and doublecheck for collar stays before you put them in the wash. And be somewhat competent with household repairs. 

TLDR: collar stays are great until they’re not, and it pays to have some basic household skillz.

IMG_0870.jpeg

3 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

Every man's hand that you shake has had a dick in it, if you want to get technical.

And many of the women!

I returned something to Target the other day and I’ve gotten 3 emails so far asking me to take a survey on the return process.

Anyone that wants me to take a survey (and that seems to be just about every business I interact with) can 100% get fucked. 

1 hour ago, nnm said:


@destroya, @Superhero, I too love my stainless steel collar stays. Some from Amazon, some from Tyrwhitt (thanks for the Tyrwhitt link a while ago, SH). 

However, today they became a trivial thing that made me surly. The washing machine stopped working. Wouldn’t drain or spin. No front access panel. Had to drain it with a siphon and then the water under the drum with a cup. It was messy. 

Finally got to the pump, scrunched down between the wall and the washer, very limited working room.  Two collar stays stuck in the pump, prohibiting it from spinning. Got them out, all is well. 

I’m surly that it happened but pleased that I fixed it. 

Moral of the story: if you wear dress shirts, check and doublecheck for collar stays before you put them in the wash. And be somewhat competent with household repairs. 

TLDR: collar stays are great until they’re not, and it pays to have some basic household skillz.

IMG_0870.jpeg

 

Happens to the best of us. My appliance repair man tore apart my washing machine and found one of those as well.

3 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

I haven't paid cash for anything in a very long time but when I did, it would piss me off so much if they gave change bills first with coins on top. That's so fucking rude! Coins are always first. 

I was in the drive-thru lane of an In-n-Out when the person in front of me paid in coins.

Poor cashier was counting coins for about 3 minutes while everyone's fries got cold.

  • Popular Post

Jokes on them, the fries can’t get any worse 

2 hours ago, Js1 said:

Jokes on them, the fries can’t get any worse 

That’s true. Cardboard disgustingness. 

I’d rather eat In-n-Out fries (well done of course) before I pick up a Chik Fil-A waffle sadness.

13 hours ago, nnm said:

The number 1 reason that bidets should be mandatory everywhere. Why does it matter that the feces smeared all over your backside is your own?  It’s still feces. Some of us aren’t savages. 

99% of the people most of you encounter every day have feces smeared all over their backsides. That’s a nice thought. 

We are in agreement.  

9 hours ago, Superhero said:

I’d rather eat In-n-Out fries (well done of course) before I pick up a Chik Fil-A waffle sadness.

Vince Vaughn GIF

Learned online phrases inserted to try to give your thought heft, but end up just being repeated endlessly, ironically homogenizing everything through attempts at uniqueness.

 

currently: not on my bingo card.  at all.  honest opinion.  if you know you know. chef's kiss.  

 

recently downgraded: that's billion with a b.  

7 minutes ago, ImNotMarkinson said:

Learned online phrases inserted to try to give your thought heft, but end up just being repeated endlessly, ironically homogenizing everything through attempts at uniqueness.

 

currently: not on my bingo card.  at all.  honest opinion.  if you know you know. chef's kiss.  

 

recently downgraded: that's billion with a b.  

"all the things."  When did that become a thing?  It kind of snuck up on me.

58 minutes ago, nnm said:

"all the things."  When did that become a thing?  It kind of snuck up on me.

about the same time "a thing" did.

my wife went through a phase a while back where she ran "all the things" into the ground.  she knew it bugged me.  then one day, she showed up wearing it on a tshirt, on a date night.  it quit bothering me.

On 7/30/2025 at 1:36 PM, Superhero said:

Coin meters? WTF are coins? I don't remember the last time I had coins in my pocket or in my car.

 

Whatever pennies in my coin jar were used for target practice with my air rifle.

 

Had no idea you were Carlos Hathcockian.  What damned distance? 10' would be a crapshoot.

19 hours ago, tokamak said:

I returned something to Target the other day and I’ve gotten 3 emails so far asking me to take a survey on the return process.

Anyone that wants me to take a survey (and that seems to be just about every business I interact with) can 100% get fucked. 

If I was dissatisfied, you'd fucking know it!!!

19 hours ago, tokamak said:

I returned something to Target the other day and I’ve gotten 3 emails so far asking me to take a survey on the return process.

Anyone that wants me to take a survey (and that seems to be just about every business I interact with) can 100% get fucked. 

I’ll take one if I get some free shit in return. Potbelly gives out cookie coupons on the regular.

Oh, and I want to know what the benefit is before I start.

17 hours ago, Superhero said:

I’d rather eat In-n-Out fries (well done of course) before I pick up a Chik Fil-A waffle sadness.

 

7 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

Vince Vaughn GIF

 

GIFs by @cackhanded — Even when they're wrong, a GIF from ...

On 7/31/2025 at 11:29 AM, nnm said:

"all the things."  When did that become a thing?  It kind of snuck up on me.

14 years ago, according to Know Your Meme

  • Popular Post

Having to forget my old credit card number and memorize a new one every 12-18 months. 

Citi is excellent at cockblocking legitimate purchases but not so good at stopping fraudulent ones. Uber ride home from the airport from a flight I paid for with their credit card? Very suspicious - can't allow that without verification. But $10k of bricks and landscaping materials in New Jersey? Not suspicious at all!

Assholes.

7 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Having to forget my old credit card number and memorize a new one every 12-18 months. 

Citi is excellent at cockblocking legitimate purchases but not so good at stopping fraudulent ones. Uber ride home from the airport from a flight I paid for with their credit card? Very suspicious - can't allow that without verification. But $10k of bricks and landscaping materials in New Jersey? Not suspicious at all!

Assholes.

 

I've been impressed with Chase wrt fraudulent charges. The 2 I've gotten were a charge in Costa Rico 3 months after we visited; and 2 inflatable rafts delivered to bumfuck Tennessee in December.

 

OTOH, BoA sucked balls. I had a card that was never activated (by me anyway). It was still in an envelope sitting on my desk for at least 6 months. I got a charge for $60 for some art piece in Ohio. Probably an inside job. BoA sucks.

Just now, Superhero said:

Rico

giphy.gif

On 7/26/2025 at 7:57 PM, TheStoicPaisano said:

Since when do you need your whole crew to grocery shop, especially since at least one is one their phone blocking the aisle anyway?

Ive started letting out a loud, EXCUSE ME, or CON PERMISSO, then going straight through the herd. I always leave my basket at the end of the aisle for tactical grocery acquisition so I can cut through with a few well placed shoulder checks if needed.

30 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Ive started letting out a loud, EXCUSE ME, or CON PERMISSO, then going straight through the herd. I always leave my basket at the end of the aisle for tactical grocery acquisition so I can cut through with a few well placed shoulder checks if needed.

That’s my conduct with folks who use bridges as a photography studio. Haven’t seen a hip check into the Chicago River yet…alas.

28 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

That’s my conduct with folks who use bridges as a photography studio. Haven’t seen a hip check into the Chicago River yet…alas.

Just shit on 'em like you're Dave Matthews. 

On 8/3/2025 at 2:20 PM, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

Over reliance on “consistent” in sports — he just needs to get a little more consistent, we weren’t consistent all last year — a word that seems to just mean “good.”

Well. Consistently good. 

I goto this parking garage and when you exit you have to swipe this paper down ticket.  Everytime I get out there’s like tens of the little tickets on the ground

image.jpeg.5b1d5ca57a4cc041affbce236a3f5e51.jpeg

So much this. We were hiking in Acadia last week, sometimes stopping to enjoy a pretty stretch of coast. This beautiful national park…and multiple dickheads had their speakers out playing their music. Yeah, I totally wanted to listen to Travis Scott instead of the surf and the birds and the GODDAMN FUCKING NATURE THAT IS THE REASON YOU GO TO THE WOODS.
On 8/4/2025 at 2:30 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Having to forget my old credit card number and memorize a new one every 12-18 months. 

Citi is excellent at cockblocking legitimate purchases but not so good at stopping fraudulent ones. Uber ride home from the airport from a flight I paid for with their credit card? Very suspicious - can't allow that without verification. But $10k of bricks and landscaping materials in New Jersey? Not suspicious at all!

Assholes.

Or $800 for trailer parts in South Carolina.

(never been there, never have owned a trailer)

1) the overthinking, overengineering, enshittifying choad that invented this unnecessary and ineffective waste of time and energy.

2) every business that utilizes one of these.

PXL_20250809_140243028.thumb.jpg.0729f00a6e251f79fc0fcb0b9560be46.jpg

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


So much this. We were hiking in Acadia last week, sometimes stopping to enjoy a pretty stretch of coast. This beautiful national park…and multiple dickheads had their speakers out playing their music. Yeah, I totally wanted to listen to Travis Scott instead of the surf and the birds and the GODDAMN FUCKING NATURE THAT IS THE REASON YOU GO TO THE WOODS.

I've found it very effective when you walk by these people to tell them "can you turn your speaker up? I can't hear your music at all". Most of the time they get the message and turn it down but a few will take me seriously and turn it up. Never fails to make the wife laugh her ass off.

1 hour ago, gofuckyourself said:

1) the overthinking, overengineering, enshittifying choad that invented this unnecessary and ineffective waste of time and energy.

2) every business that utilizes one of these.

PXL_20250809_140243028.thumb.jpg.0729f00a6e251f79fc0fcb0b9560be46.jpg

I would be lying if I said that I've never written "THIS URINAL SUCKS" on top of these and their equally frustrating counterpart where you "dunk" your wet hands into the drying crevasse. 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.