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46 minutes ago, mr. sunshine said:

I thought old people always carried change.  I know I do

Next to the onion in their belts, as was the style at the time

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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I usually have 50-75 cents in my car from some cash purchase that week.  But no, I don't carry $3.60 in change on me at any one given time, which is what it costs to fill up a meter for 3 hours (My meeting was slated for 2 hours, so probably could have gotten away with $2.75 or so)...Who the fuck in this day and age has that kind of change on them?  And it's not like a busy commercial area where you can duck into one of dozens of bodegas or newsstands to buy gum with a $5 and get back oodles of change.  There's nothing where I was for blocks.  

It's insane those meters haven't been switched over after a decade of better technology.  

I never have change on me. Haven't seen a non-card or app meter parking in a long ass time

28 minutes ago, Lobo said:

It's insane those meters haven't been switched over after a decade of better technology.  

Better at what? Better at generating parking fines? Old ones sound great for that.

We have pay by phone parking downtown now. Really convenient, but I rarely use it because my parking garage is a 5 minute walk to most thinks and I’m a $5 Uber away.

 

Last night was meet the teach for my little girl going into kindergarten. We got all of her school supplies stowed away and got in line to talk to her teacher. As we got up to talk to her, this lady walks in with her kid and breaks into the the line. Little Sally just had to say hello to her teacher from last year and they couldn’t wait until everyone was done. She stood there a good five minutes wasting everyone’s time while she went on and on about how much they will miss her. Jesus Christ shut the fuck up and move along or wait until everyone is done.

Last night was meet the teach for my little girl going into kindergarten. We got all of her school supplies stowed away and got in line to talk to her teacher. As we got up to talk to her, this lady walks in with her kid and breaks into the the line. Little Sally just had to say hello to her teacher from last year and they couldn’t wait until everyone was done. She stood there a good five minutes wasting everyone’s time while she went on and on about how much they will miss her. Jesus Christ shut the fuck up and move along or wait until everyone is done.
You should have said that out loud. Set the tone for the upcoming school year.
I usually have 50-75 cents in my car from some cash purchase that week.  But no, I don't carry $3.60 in change on me at any one given time, which is what it costs to fill up a meter for 3 hours (My meeting was slated for 2 hours, so probably could have gotten away with $2.75 or so)...Who the fuck in this day and age has that kind of change on them?  And it's not like a busy commercial area where you can duck into one of dozens of bodegas or newsstands to buy gum with a $5 and get back oodles of change.  There's nothing where I was for blocks.  
It's insane those meters haven't been switched over after a decade of better technology.  


Isn’t the fine only $25?

Ok, first question:

Do you always get asked to speak up or have comments from the phone that nobody can hear you whenever you speak during meetings?  Or other common situations when you are speaking and some of the people who are ostensibly listening to you are not within a yard of your head?

If yes, what the fuck?  Or let me ratchet it back - I'm genuinely curious, why??  I can hear that you have a soft voice.  Or I can't, depending on how far away I am - we all suffer through it.  I also have a soft voice.  And I have a medium voice, and a loud voice.  I modulate the volume of my voice depending on the context in which I am speaking.  Since I have survived over 30 years as a social human and have been learning from information I have gathered along the way, I am not caught off guard in situations where a soft voice would be ineffective at communicating with the people who are supposed to be listening to the words that I am saying.  What is the difficulty that you have at recognizing these types of situations?  Or is it not that?  Are you shy?  Have you not learned to speak up yet (and how)?  Please explain.

If you are constantly speaking too softly and people have to ask you to speak up, why is it that you do that.

Edited by Celery Man

52 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

If you are constantly speaking too softly and people have to ask you to speak up, why is it that you do that.

And why should they be forced to wear your puffy shirt on the Tonight Show?

9 hours ago, Lobo said:

there isn't one fucking parking meter within a 3-block radius of the Capitol Complex that takes credit cards.   Not even the old-school upright kind that at least were retrofitted to take cards along with change.  Not any of that shit.  Just one fucking coins-only machine after another.  Sorry I don't roll with a fucking roll of quarters to every damn Legislative meeting.  I can't help but think it's not a big fuck-you from the City of Austin to the those right-wingers up in the Capitol.  

People that want to pay for parking with a credit card.

People who drive down the middle of the street in neighborhoods.

10 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

People that want to pay for parking with a credit card.

You serious?  How else are parking meters supposed to take payment?  It's either coins or cards.  And some of us don't walk around with $3 in nickels.  Honest question, sarcasm aside---how do you want to pay for a parking meter besides coins?  I park on the street sometimes, don't always have several dollars in coins.  What are my options aside from a debit/credit card?  

30 minutes ago, Lobo said:

You serious?  How else are parking meters supposed to take payment?  It's either coins or cards.  And some of us don't walk around with $3 in nickels.  Honest question, sarcasm aside---how do you want to pay for a parking meter besides coins?  I park on the street sometimes, don't always have several dollars in coins.  What are my options aside from a debit/credit card?  

Have your driver drop you off and tell him to circle the block until you're done.

40 minutes ago, Lobo said:

You serious?  How else are parking meters supposed to take payment?  It's either coins or cards.  And some of us don't walk around with $3 in nickels.  Honest question, sarcasm aside---how do you want to pay for a parking meter besides coins?  I park on the street sometimes, don't always have several dollars in coins.  What are my options aside from a debit/credit card?  

Bitcoin

15 hours ago, EE2B said:

Last night was meet the teach for my little girl going into kindergarten. We got all of her school supplies stowed away and got in line to talk to her teacher. As we got up to talk to her, this lady walks in with her kid and breaks into the the line. Little Sally just had to say hello to her teacher from last year and they couldn’t wait until everyone was done. She stood there a good five minutes wasting everyone’s time while she went on and on about how much they will miss her. Jesus Christ shut the fuck up and move along or wait until everyone is done.

I feel your pain.  I stepped into the local hardware/feed store a few of weeks ago to buy a new water hose, that's all.  Before I could pay for it, some local corncob cut in line in front of me and asked about alfalfa seeds, which the store didn't have.  Instead of ringing me up, the (aggy) clerk decided that they should discuss alfalfa for the next several minutes.  I gotta admit, though, there's a lot of info to be had about alfalfa.  None of it is interesting, though

2 hours ago, Homercles said:

People who drive down the middle of the street in neighborhoods.

In our neighborhood you're kinda forced to, because of all the cars parked on the curb.

You serious?  How else are parking meters supposed to take payment?  It's either coins or cards.  And some of us don't walk around with $3 in nickels.  Honest question, sarcasm aside---how do you want to pay for a parking meter besides coins?  I park on the street sometimes, don't always have several dollars in coins.  What are my options aside from a debit/credit card?  
Apple pay or Samsung pay. You're fucking slow and the 15 seconds of time wasted using a credit card could be crucial.

The old school meters that are in front of each space in certain parts of downtown Austin, that allow for either coins or card swipe...those things can take Apple Pay?  I know the big solar powered ones that cover a block of parking spaces do, but I didn't realize the one-off older ones do that.  Are you sure?  

  • Author

The inability of 95% of Surlies to spell the name of the country Colombia.

3 hours ago, Homercles said:

People who drive down the middle of the street in neighborhoods.

I see this as a preventative measure for potential kids/animals running throughout the neighborhood.  It's precautionary, as long as the driver is paying attention to his surroundings.  Women who do it?  Then they'd fit your gripe, I assume.

2 hours ago, elfenix said:

The inability of 95% of Surlies to spell the name of the country Colombia.

I blame The University of South Carolina.

3 hours ago, mr. sunshine said:

I feel your pain.  I stepped into the local hardware/feed store a few of weeks ago to buy a new water hose, that's all.  Before I could pay for it, some local corncob cut in line in front of me and asked about alfalfa seeds, which the store didn't have.  Instead of ringing me up, the (aggy) clerk decided that they should discuss alfalfa for the next several minutes.  I gotta admit, though, there's a lot of info to be had about alfalfa.  None of it is interesting, though

What about Buckwheat?

People who drive down the middle of the street in neighborhoods.

How about the people walking down the middle of the street when there are perfectly good sidewalks on both sides of the street. Then they look at you like you’re the asshole when you try to get past them.
On 8/13/2018 at 2:58 PM, MissingInAction said:

Coworkers on Monday morning. I'm hungover you fuckstick so no, I don't give a fat fuck what little Johnny and janey rotten crotch did at their cuntarded soccer matches this weekend. I hope they got injured and your wife was raped by ISIS. Now go die in a fire while I drink coffee and pray for the apocalypse. 

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays. 

16 hours ago, Celery Man said:

If you are constantly speaking too softly and people have to ask you to speak up, why is it that you do that.

Damn it, quit mumbling!

4 hours ago, elfenix said:

The inability of 95% of Surlies to spell the name of the country Colombia.

I spell how autocorrect tells me to

Edited by mycox

Only one guy in line in front of me and my $2 worth of plastics at Dollar Tree. He's stocking his entire flea market store with 200 different items.

Edited by DougO

Either that he's or survival prepping for the Poorspocalypse.

Metro buses in downtown Houston who pull into intersections on red lights.  They can kiss my ass.

Have a neighbor who lives a mile down the road.  An acquaintance, if you will.  I delivered 5-6 tons of horse manure to his house the other day, and he asked if I would mind bringing my tractor down to help him move it around (he's using it as mulch along a border tree line).  

N - How much you want?

Me - $10 should cover it.  Shouldn't take me too long.

N - Nah.  I want it to be worth it for your time.  How about $30?

Me - Tell you what, I have an empty 6 gallon can of diesel that you can just fill up for me (this should be $18)

N - I'll just drop $20 off to you tomorrow.  That should do it.  Thanks, man!

------

(Today)

N - Hey, I put that money in the passenger seat of your car.

Me - Roger.  Thanks.

... I go out and get the money after a bit... $10.

 

$10 is completely fine with me.  It's the fact that HE said he would give me $20, then reneged.  Bush league shit right there. 

10 hours ago, elfenix said:

The inability of 95% of Surlies to spell the name of the country Colombia.

I buy their fishing shirts. They're nice. 

1 hour ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Have a neighbor who lives a mile down the road.  An acquaintance, if you will.  I delivered 5-6 tons of horse manure to his house the other day, and he asked if I would mind bringing my tractor down to help him move it around (he's using it as mulch along a border tree line).  

N - How much you want?

Me - $10 should cover it.  Shouldn't take me too long.

N - Nah.  I want it to be worth it for your time.  How about $30?

Me - Tell you what, I have an empty 6 gallon can of diesel that you can just fill up for me (this should be $18)

N - I'll just drop $20 off to you tomorrow.  That should do it.  Thanks, man!

------

(Today)

N - Hey, I put that money in the passenger seat of your car.

Me - Roger.  Thanks.

... I go out and get the money after a bit... $10.

 

$10 is completely fine with me.  It's the fact that HE said he would give me $20, then reneged.  Bush league shit right there. 

It's like that one time Derka went to the Rose with blacklab

7 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

My daughter is going through rush right now in Columbia, MO.

Surly must be asleep - pictures please.... especially of pillow fights and stuff

10 hours ago, deadshank said:

I buy their fishing shirts. They're nice. 

Me too.  I have a nice long-sleeve in Columbian Gold.

My daughter is going through rush right now in Columbia, MO.

She’ll be getting bear schlonged very soon. Sorry, tiger schlonged.
Surly must be asleep - pictures please.... especially of pillow fights and stuff


ee30662b440f9336f168853ce0146017.jpg

Oh good.  In the break room (jury duty), and the 300-pounder is lecturing everyone on ketosis.  She's already lost some weight since June!!!

Oh, but she eats lots of fruit because diabetes runs in her family.  Lulz.  Ketosis + lots of fruit isn't ketosis.

"tell me about"
"learn me on"

32 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Oh good.  In the break room (jury duty), and the 300-pounder is lecturing everyone on ketosis.  She's already lost some weight since June!!!

#WeightLossGoals #Keto4Life!!

Insufferable cunt.

It should probably go under office pet peeves, but the term "thrown under the bus" gets used way way way too much.

Somebody asked me for a status update on a project on a call, and then later called me and apologized for "throwing you under the bus".  What? It's my job to get that project done, and I told you when we'll be finished.

Quit being a P and overdramatizing everything.

41 minutes ago, TornACL said:

It should probably go under office pet peeves, but the term "thrown under the bus" gets used way way way too much.

Somebody asked me for a status update on a project on a call, and then later called me and apologized for "throwing you under the bus".  What? It's my job to get that project done, and I told you when we'll be finished.

Quit being a P and overdramatizing everything.

There's a phrase used in my office when people forgot to do something:  they say they "dropped the ball". I've never uttered this stupid phrase because I always do what I say I'm going to do. I'm not perfect but I'm pretty damn close.

Yesterday, I had a quarterly review with "The Bobs" and told them just how I felt about this saying. It just so happens that the leaders of our company use it more than everyone else. They couldn't say anything because they knew I was right. 

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