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6 hours ago, elfenix said:

His navigator was an A-rab

 

 

He was a pretty ballsy guy, and discovered predictable sailing routes across and back over the Atlantic that were used for centuries after his discovery.  Read that in  

The Discoverers. A book written by the head librarian of the Library of Congress, and recommended by a guy on Shaggy.

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

13 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I know this has been in here before but it merits reposting due to the specifics. 

Someone sent out a email incorrectly to a company wide email address/list. 

130 replies of, "I'm not the correct person, please remove me from this distribution" later... 130... fucking replies to all.. IT comes in and says, "Stop replying to this email".

I don't work for Walmart and this wasn't Jiffylube's mechanics disty email address. 

Allegedly, these people aren't all stupid. 

FML

Yes, they are all stupid.

This is why your IT department needs to strip sending privileges to large DLs.  Especially company-wide ones.  They should be restricted to only receive email from limited senders for just such purpose.

I report all of them as phishing attempts. Kill them all and let IT sort 'em out.

Guys (and some women) with naturally higher voices who consciously force their voices lower.  I suspect this is an attempt to be taken more seriously.... only to result in vocal fry which tends to do the opposite.

1 hour ago, BadgerHorn said:

Guys (and some women) with naturally higher voices who consciously force their voices lower.  I suspect this is an attempt to be taken more seriously.... only to result in vocal fry which tends to do the opposite.

I'm not sure if I've ever witnessed this, but it sounds terrible.

Vocal fry is the worst.

When the hotel fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night.  And you were up way late.  And on the top floor.  And the alarm is still going off 1.5 hours later.  And the fire dept has already given up and left, but still it blares....

32 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

When the hotel fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night.  And you were up way late.  And on the top floor.  And the alarm is still going off 1.5 hours later.  And the fire dept has already given up and left, but still it blares....

The only time that's happened to me there was an actual fire. We evacuated the hotel and on our way downstairs passed firemen on their way up. We passed the kitchen where the fire started but it was already extinguished. We could see lots of char and water damage. We had been up late partying and maybe had two hours of sleep. It was still about four hours until we were allowed to go back to our rooms. 

1 hour ago, clapclapclap said:

When the hotel fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night.  And you were up way late.  And on the top floor.  And the alarm is still going off 1.5 hours later.  And the fire dept has already given up and left, but still it blares....

Mobile, Alabama.  Coming back to Houston from NC.  

Hotel fire alarm went off 20 minutes after I hit the pillow.  Never stopped.  No fire.  Just a malfunction.  Hotel manager offered $20 off my stay.  I countered with "how about a free stay?"  He relented.  

Went to Panera (actually called St Louis Bread Company here) and got a sandwich for lunch today.  The ratio of guts to bread was way off.  The bread couldn't contain the guts.  It was trivial and I was surly.

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22 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I'm not sure if I've ever witnessed this, but it sounds terrible.

Vocal fry is the worst.

there's an otherwise excellent porn site where one of the male actors does this vocal fry 'oh yessss ohhh yesss' bullshit over and over.  makes it really hard to fap through.

6 minutes ago, You don't know me said:

Went to Panera (actually called St Louis Bread Company here) and got a sandwich for lunch today.  The ratio of guts to bread was way off.  The bread couldn't contain the guts.  It was trivial and I was surly.

The opposite would make me surly.  I'd rather have to remove some guts than to get a mostly bread sangwich.

2 minutes ago, 'stache said:

The opposite would make me surly.  I'd rather have to remove some guts than to get a mostly bread sangwich.

That would also make me surly.

Edited to add: I am sometimes easily surled.

Edited by You don't know me

Celery in Chinese food. It's just cheap filler. Do they even have celery in China? The new Chinese place that opened near me is a celery joint so they suck. All the better Chinese places are on the other side of the river and I've got to wait until after rush hour to go pick up dinner. But I'm hungry now. 

I guess one cocktail won't kill me. 

People with three or more "VOTE FOR _____" signs in their yard when all of the signs are for candidates from the same party. Just put a "VOTE STRAIGHT TICKET FOR MY TEAM LIKE I'M GONNA DO!" sign up and be done with it.

I travel a lot. The next week I’m not on road for portion of week will be Halloween week and it would have been 21 weeks straight of travel leading up to that week. 

I’m annoyed/tired of the pilot giving some folksy, who fucking cares preamble to the flight and then some pithy, unnecessary comment during said flight. 

Just STFU and fly the bus. 

5 hours ago, You don't know me said:

Went to Panera (actually called St Louis Bread Company here) and got a sandwich for lunch today.  The ratio of guts to bread was way off.  The bread couldn't contain the guts.  It was trivial and I was surly.

It's "Pantera," you sonofabitch. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Do they even have celery in China? 

Yes, though it's a different type than US celery. Is known as Leaf Celery or Chinese Celery. Much thinner stalks, more complex flavor, and yes, used in a lot of Chinese food.

35 minutes ago, Jack Straw said:

Celery sucks except as a side for wings 

It's an essential flavor as part of a base for a stock or sauce like in a mirepoix or the holy trinity. It's great roasted along with other vegetables. I like snacking on it raw whether with wings or just as an appetizer on a vegetable plate.

It doesn't belong in stir fry and experience has taught me that the Chinese places that put it in all their dishes are low quality. Nowadays before trying a Chinese restaurant I'll call and ask if they put celery in their Kung Pao and if the answer is yes then I won't bother eating there. I've got dozens of other options to choose from. 

Everytime the fucking play by play and color guys says "RPO"

On 6/11/2018 at 7:44 AM, Patricio Swayze said:

 


Along the theme of cashiers...don’t hand me the receipt if you bagged whatever it is I am buying. Put it in the bag.

 

Fucking this.

The idiot in the lifted truck with no mufflers ruining what was an otherwise nice drive into work with the windows down this morning.

The idiot in the lifted truck with no mufflers ruining what was an otherwise nice drive into work with the windows down this morning.
Humblebrag about morning drives with your windows down

(Its snow icy and 25 degrees out)
9 hours ago, Spur08 said:

Everytime the fucking play by play and color guys says "RPO"

Horrible drinking game.

Fucking robo calls.  I get at least three a day from some hijacked number.  I even have had some dumbass from call me telling me he missed a call from my number.  He could not even fathom the fact that he got a robo call and it just used my number.  He was actually angry at me when I tried to explain I had not called him. 

Heather with my "credit card company" needs to be dragged out in the street and shot.

Humblebrag about morning drives with your windows down

(Its snow icy and 25 degrees out)
Ha, this is the first morning the temp has been below the 70's with insane humidity.
42 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I prefer raisins instead. 

Why not both?

It is called ants on a log.

2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Humblebrag about morning drives with your windows down

(Its snow icy and 25 degrees out)

I have a buddy who lives in Bemidji, and I got a chuckle out of his sleet and snow snaps the other day.

1 hour ago, Okie State said:
2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
Humblebrag about morning drives with your windows down

(Its snow icy and 25 degrees out)

Ha, this is the first morning the temp has been below the 70's with insane humidity.

Hell, this is the first day our highs will dip below 80. And it is glorious. Last Thursday, the heat index was 102. It was brutal. 

Edited by lateshow

58 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Why not both?

It is called ants on a log.

I meant raisins instead of rocks. 

2 hours ago, Underdog said:

Celery and peanut butter rocks. 

Hell, peanut butter on a tablespoon rocks....

One of the guys in my office exaggerates his sneezes - Like a 12 year old would do in class trying to be funny when there is a substitute teacher.

He's in his 40's and still does this shit.  

22 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

One of the guys in my office exaggerates his sneezes - Like a 12 year old would do in class trying to be funny when there is a substitute teacher.

He's in his 40's and still does this shit.  

I know what you're talking about.  But I'm a very loud sneezer and I can't help it.  My wife thinks I'm exaggerating and I promise I'm not.  I get no joy or humor out of it.  I just really can't help it.

I sneeze loudly as well - but he makes a joke out of it.  

I hate when one of my teams gets screwed out of a win by a bad call from the ref, and people reply, "Well the team shouldn't have let themselves get into a situation where one call determines the game".

F that.  Close games are generally decided by a handful of plays.  If the ref misses it, I'm going to bitch about it.

2 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

One of the guys in my office exaggerates his sneezes - Like a 12 year old would do in class trying to be funny when there is a substitute teacher.

He's in his 40's and still does this shit.  

I had one of those in my office. I celebrated the day he quit.

He came into work one day, got sick, and puked in his trash can. Ok fine, it happens. He proceeds to stay at work, and ended up puking again shortly thereafter. Had to go tell HR to make him go home. Disgusting. Also, not trivial.

Edited by mushroomface

Fucking robo calls.  I get at least three a day from some hijacked number.  I even have had some dumbass from call me telling me he missed a call from my number.  He could not even fathom the fact that he got a robo call and it just used my number.  He was actually angry at me when I tried to explain I had not called him. 
Heather with my "credit card company" needs to be dragged out in the street and shot.
Or Microsoft calling to tell you that your computer has a virus and they are there to help to take care of it.

People who think that their portion of a shared space is based on their size, rather than equal portion.  I was at a seminar today, and we sat three to a table.  After I got back from break, lard ass had his computer out and he physically moved my chair over so he could have more room (I'm avg. 170 lbs).  I received 1/5th of the table, while he and fat bitch split the other 4/5.  

ESPN-U swaps their logo on the bottom left with the Edward Jones logo (in yellow).  Annoying because it makes it look like the play got flagged.  Also, sorry to Okie State.

People that IM asking if I can IM.  Then I wait around for them to form their thought.  Just don't bother me until your brain gets warmed up.

 

My wife leaves a message ... asking to call her. If i have to listen to messages, give me the ask/question.

When someone IM’s me, asking me to call them.

I ignore them, unless it my boss’s boss, of their boss.

 

When someone IM’s me, asking me to call them.
I ignore them, unless it my boss’s boss, of their boss.
 
Damn.. your company is still on AIM?
39 minutes ago, former alkie said:

When someone IM’s me, asking me to call them.

I ignore them, unless it my boss’s boss, or their boss.

 

 

On 10/12/2018 at 7:02 AM, Vic Mackey said:
On 10/11/2018 at 6:57 AM, Moby Ric said:
Fucking robo calls.  I get at least three a day from some hijacked number.  I even have had some dumbass from call me telling me he missed a call from my number.  He could not even fathom the fact that he got a robo call and it just used my number.  He was actually angry at me when I tried to explain I had not called him. 
Heather with my "credit card company" needs to be dragged out in the street and shot.

Or Microsoft calling to tell you that your computer has a virus and they are there to help to take care of it.

I always tell them that I watch a lot of porn...in fact, I'm watching porn right now...hang on, I'm getting close...uh...uh....uh

They usually hang up.  Usually. 

19 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
49 minutes ago, former alkie said:
When someone IM’s me, asking me to call them.
I ignore them, unless it my boss’s boss, of their boss.
 

Damn.. your company is still on AIM?

I’m too dumb to know what AIM is.

All I know is, we can IM each other, instead of email, if we choose. 

Edited by former alkie

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