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Featured Replies

4 hours ago, elfenix said:

is she still going? 

 

who was the other amateurish chick from back then? heather deep throats or something?  edit: ideepthroat i think it was

Heather Harmon. Too bad she was working when internet bandwidth limitations only allowed for short, tiny videos. 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/hersh-bavnik/2013/12/the-legend-of-heather-i-deepthroat-an-incomplete-story-of-americas-greatest-porn-star/

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

Wet socks drive me insane. Don’t know why but I hate it

 

A) expand on this. You mean like, your socks become wet, and then you don’t change or otherwise remove your socks when you’re done doing the thing that got them wet? Is this a regular thing?

 

B ) latest?cb=20130202001524

 

Heating up a plate of leftovers, and the mashed potatoes take like 3x as long to get hot as the rest of the food. 

9 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

The terms:

Wifey
Hubby
Bae

I hate bae.

When HEB is out of diet Wild Red 12-pack cans, which is frequent...when they're open.

stores that put out their own store coupon for shit that they do not stock in the store

who in the fuck lets that shit happen

26 minutes ago, ButtFumble said:

stores that put out their own store coupon for shit that they do not stock in the store

who in the fuck lets that shit happen

Stores that want you to come in but don't want to lose money on sales

8 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Heating up a plate of leftovers, and the mashed potatoes take like 3x as long to get hot as the rest of the food. 

If you flatten the mashed potatoes, spread out on the plate, they'll heat up just as fast. Then you can reshape them to your liking.

9 minutes ago, Lone Star Horn said:

If you flatten the mashed potatoes, spread out on the plate, they'll heat up just as fast. Then you can reshape them to your liking.

2071984828_eda44c7943.jpg

"Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her"

-Frank Drebin

On 3/28/2018 at 11:43 AM, Lou said:

Baby on board signs on cars.

jJaNAlj.jpg

Fat models that are now included in every clothing ad on TV.


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7 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Fat models that are now included in every clothing ad on TV.


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Seriously, what happened to media being aspirational rather than delusional?

vehicles with "sports exhaust" that are slow as shit driven by people that are equally slow as shit

lowered trucks especially a dually

Edited by ButtFumble

On 4/4/2018 at 7:28 AM, Okie State said:

Piece of shit stoplights that go out every time it rains.

What is the deal with this shit. Tarrant County is lousy with this problem. 

We have put men on the moon, you'd think we could engineer a stop light that is water resistant. 

People who get into a crowded elevator and face the rear of the elevator car. Heaven forbid it is on a low floor and then you have 20-30 floors worth of awkward eye contact ahead of you. 

The word “methinks” and most of the assholes who use it. “Methinks they should put in Applewhite over Simms.” “Chiles should start, methinks.”

Listen up little lord fuckface. You’re not impressing anyone with your mastery of the Queen’s English, and you sure as shit aren’t going to be mistaken for the Bard. You mostly come across as the dipshit who’s trying way too hard at the renfest.

169?cb=20100510013355

5 minutes ago, Player said:

The word “methinks” and most of the assholes who use it. “Methinks they should put in Applewhite over Simms.” “Chiles should start, methinks.”

Listen up little lord fuckface. You’re not impressing anyone with your mastery of the Queen’s English, and you sure as shit aren’t going to be mistaken for the Bard. You mostly come across as the dipshit who’s trying way too hard at the renfest.

169?cb=20100510013355
 

Couldst you explain more? 

same deal but with plethora.  people think they're pulling out something arcane and "smart" but it's just a stupid ugly word.

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

same deal but with plethora.  people think they're pulling out something arcane and "smart" but it's just a stupid ugly word.

It's a sweater!

3 hours ago, deadshank said:

Couldst you explain more? 

Read betwixt the lines.

People that say let's dialogue about that.

2 minutes ago, Lou said:

People that say let's dialogue about that.

We'll just put a pin that.

On 3/31/2018 at 9:51 PM, Incredulity said:

Full size SUV with a Thule box on top.

Should have bought a minivan if they wanted to take shit with them.

People that call their pets their fur babies.


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4 hours ago, Lou said:

People that say let's dialogue about that.

The amount of rage that just boiled within me was palpable.

The phrase "in this space".
Heard this for the first time at work this week. Immediately thought of this thread.

Not being able to leave a comment on rep. Yes, even on the pos rep, it was a chance to make another funny or just tell someone why you liked/ disliked it.

9 hours ago, Celery Man said:

same deal but with plethora.  people think they're pulling out something arcane and "smart" but it's just a stupid ugly word.

Do you know what it means to have a plethora?

That's a fake leather hat like Tom Landry wore, right?

getting an email from Freebirds on 4-7-2018 letting me know that 4-5-2018 is National Burrito Day and telling me about the offers they will have to celebrate that

fucking idiots

A few of my senior executives will send me an email telling me they will need my answer COB (close of business) or EOD (end of day). Then they use lowercase initials of their first and last name to sign off.

Because, you know, they are way to busy to type their full name.

2 minutes ago, BurntOrangeCrush said:

A few of my senior executives will send me an email telling me they will need my answer COB (close of business) or EOD (end of day). Then they use lowercase initials of their first and last name to sign off.

Because, you know, they are way to busy to type their full name.

 

forward that to your IT guy and ask him to show those dumb shits how to place a signature in their email

9 minutes ago, ButtFumble said:

 

forward that to your IT guy and ask him to show those dumb shits how to place a signature in their email

"Official" company signatures suck balls. A couple months back we were directed to format all email sigs a certain way that includes the corporate logo. This logo appears on recipients emails to be an attachment, not to mention the sig is supposed to include business #, direct #, fax #, office location etc..etc... w/each on a separate line

Fuck you. 2 years ago we were directed to have sigs that were only one line, that is, name, ph# etc.. all on the same line so as to not take up too much vertical space. I liked that. 

This new shit is so stupid and takes up 6 or more lines vertically. Half of the email space is devoted to my fucking signature. Retards.

Edited by El Diablo

  • Author

those poor electrons.

 

 

very trivial. 

You could decrease the font size to reduce the size of the email. /Dilbert

On 4/5/2018 at 5:06 AM, ButtFumble said:

stores that put out their own store coupon for shit that they do not stock in the store

who in the fuck lets that shit happen

At HEB yesterday and was buying something that had a coupon to buy this product get another product for free.  Slight problem, they didn't carry the product I was supposed to get for free.

(Maybe more than trivial as it’s happened to my wife and I the last 3 times out.)

 

People that bring their infants/toddler to a nice restaurant on Friday/Saturday night.

 

Then polite society forces us to smile through your teeth and say “we understand. We’re parents too.”

 

It’s not okay. You know damn well it’s not okay. I don’t know what the cutoff is; $100, white table cloth, no kids menu, I don’t know, but there’s a line and you crossed it.

 

Fuck y’all! You can afford the drinks and plates you can afford a fucking sitter like the rest of us.

 

On 4/6/2018 at 9:36 AM, PvilleStang said:

^^^ 

Image result for plethora

 

On 4/6/2018 at 9:37 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

It's a sweater!

 

On 4/6/2018 at 6:06 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Do you know what it means to have a plethora?

It is the preferred nomenclature for requesting if an adequate quantity of pinatas have been aquired (e.g. Would you say we have a plethora of pinatas?)

Dry ingredients in recipes that are given in volume rather than weight.

The word “methinks” and most of the assholes who use it. “Methinks they should put in Applewhite over Simms.” “Chiles should start, methinks.”

 

Listen up little lord fuckface. You’re not impressing anyone with your mastery of the Queen’s English, and you sure as shit aren’t going to be mistaken for the Bard. You mostly come across as the dipshit who’s trying way too hard at the renfest.

 

 

Yep, those people and the ones who use "whilst" sound like fucking morons.

 

4 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

(Maybe more than trivial as it’s happened to my wife and I the last 3 times out.)

 

People that bring their infants/toddler to a nice restaurant on Friday/Saturday night.

 

Then polite society forces us to smile through your teeth and say “we understand. We’re parents too.”

 

It’s not okay. You know damn well it’s not okay. I don’t know what the cutoff is; $100, white table cloth, no kids menu, I don’t know, but there’s a line and you crossed it.

 

Fuck y’all! You can afford the drinks and plates you can afford a fucking sitter like the rest of us.

 

Yep.  Go the fuck away, you selfish fucks.  

Thick milkshakes... I'm not trying to bring any boys to the yard, so I don't like them thick.  It's been about 30 minutes since I ordered the fucking thing, and I STILL can't drink it.  I'm seriously fucking ragey, to the point I thought about driving back to the shake shack and throwing the fucking thing at the window.  It's either the shake of the piece of shit fucking straw that collapses in every time I try to take a drink.  Serenity fucking now.



It's either the shake of the piece of shit fucking straw that collapses in every time I try to take a drink.  Serenity fucking now.


You just need to recognize that you don't have a milkshake. You have ice cream. And compared to all the things the guys at shake shack could have put in your cup, ice cream is pretty good.

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