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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

Everything about his whole zany, self-satisfied, excitably eccentric nerd schtick is just so tired and exhausting. 

20 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Everything about his whole zany, self-satisfied, excitably eccentric nerd schtick is just so tired and exhausting. 

That and every movie he's in he somehow finds a way to show his chest for some bizarre reason. Best Goldblum role:  Death Wish.

I hate watching fat people eat.  It does not affect me in any way, but I still hate it.

Do you regularly watch skinny people eat?

17 hours ago, DougO said:

Having to cover up the faucets and shit when it's cold AF outside.

I had to do this last night. Couldn’t find them in garage. Wander to faucets and they are still laying there from last year. Score one for lazy...productivity through the roof!

3 hours ago, 4thgenhorn said:

I had to do this last night. Couldn’t find them in garage. Wander to faucets and they are still laying there from last year. Score one for lazy...productivity through the roof!

With no wasp nests? 

Are they poors when they hang a bunch of shit from their rear veiw mirror and have an Apple stick on their ride?


I can’t say that I’ve ever seen one of these on a rear view mirror.
e85415a91aaafde8cecc19ddcb5cf5da.jpg
4 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

My mom, she's my mom and she is cool as hell. Plus she's my mom and one of my favorite people on this planet. Que mom jokes, I opened the door wide.

I opened your mom's back door wide last night. 

7 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Yeah, and you owe me $10 you slow paying fuck stick.

She told me I could do installments. 

Just now, Horn_Spanker said:

You buy a spiral cut ham and only half of it is cut.  Thanks Obama

Spiral cut hams suck shit.. There I said it !!

How seemingly nobody in customer service can ever help to actually provide any new information, let alone solve a problem. Thanks FedEx person for reading the tracking information off of your screen that I'm also staring at on my screen. Thanks health benefits rep for directing me to a phone number who directed me to another phone number who directed me to you.

4 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Spiral cut hams suck shit.. There I said it !!

This Sunday, open up the coupon booklet in the Austin American Statesman to the page with the offer for the spiral ham.  And tell me what the last slice coming off the main ham looks like to you.  

Spiral cut hams suck shit.. There I said it !!

When you’re done eating the spiral sliced ham you can take the leftover bone with chunks of ham on it and make awesome beans.
Just now, NeverMarryAStripper said:


When you’re done eating the spiral sliced ham you can take the leftover bone with chunks of ham on it and make awesome beans.

My thing with the spirals is those cuts allow flavors to escape IMO.. The next day the ham starts tasting very bland to me. Give me a good old fashioned bone in Boston butt ham.  

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

This Sunday, open up the coupon booklet in the Austin American Statesman to the page with the offer for the spiral ham.  And tell me what the last slice coming off the main ham looks like to you.  

hope-solo-768.jpg

On 11/12/2018 at 6:00 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Don't you just hate those annoying problems that are easily remedied?

Uh, see the thread title.

maybe its just our local news anchors....but they place their cell phones out in front of them on the news desk. not sure why, their work is pretty much scripted in the teleprompter...kinda like what adam schefter or adrian woj does but they actually have news to break...these anchors dont. 

Jackasses that stop at your table while you're at a restaurant and won't just say "Hey! Good to see you. Talk to you later" and then move on.

Was out last night with the old lady and enjoying supper.  Another couple was at the table next to us. As they sat down and placed their drink orders an acquaintance of his showed up to "chat."  

Drinks orders placed, drinks served, appetizers ordered, appetizers served, main course ordered and served.  Dipshit acquaintance was still there talking to the guy while standing right over her left shoulder at a very incomfortable position for her.   The guy tried dropped several hints to dipshit acquaintance but the dumbass was completely oblivious and just kept on bloviating about himself, his work and how great he was doing.  

My wife and I finished our meal, paid and left and this idiot was still sucking the oxygen out of the room at the 25 minute mark.  The woman (visibly pissed by this intrusive moron) had completely finished her meal and the guy hadn't touched his now stone cold meal.  And, yes, dipshit was aggy evidenced by his many references to a/m and his maroon shirt  

What a beating. 

3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

maybe its just our local news anchors....but they place their cell phones out in front of them on the news desk. not sure why, their work is pretty much scripted in the teleprompter...kinda like what adam schefter or adrian woj does but they actually have news to break...these anchors dont. 

I've thought about that for a long time, glad to hear somebody else noticed it.  Is it their personal phone?  Is it the company phone?  Is it a prop phone to make them look busy?  Bottles the mind...

I obviously have a great deal of appreciation for the function that they serve, but Jesus Fucking Christ does everything about toenails just totally suck. 

Their appearance on just about everyone (irrespective of gender), their feeling when they snag, chip, or crack; their maintenance - everything just sucks. 

Not so much surly but it troubles me when I see people hanging their arms outside a driver's side window of their car or truck. I have irrational fear that it's going to get clipped off by some asshole who's texting and quickly moves over into your lane. 

Not so much surly but it troubles me when I see people hanging their arms outside a driver's side window of their car or truck. I have irrational fear that it's going to get clipped off by some asshole who's texting and quickly moves over into your lane. 
I do it when its 80+ but only in town going 40 or less mph
I've thought about that for a long time, glad to hear somebody else noticed it.  Is it their personal phone?  Is it the company phone?  Is it a prop phone to make them look busy?  Bottles the mind...
Personal...i can tell by the pink phone cases. They really need to check social media or text during commercials?

Well when you lose your arm to some asshole, don't say I didn't warn you. 

I thought it was to pretend like they were getting hot leads in real time there at the news desk.  Even though they don't really look at them, I thought was the "we're constantly connected to our people in the field" deal they were trying to convey.  But yeah, the hot one in the glasses on KXAN.  I keep sending dick pics to her, but she won't pick up her phone on air.  

maybe its just our local news anchors....but they place their cell phones out in front of them on the news desk. not sure why, their work is pretty much scripted in the teleprompter...kinda like what adam schefter or adrian woj does but they actually have news to break...these anchors dont. 
I'm good friends with my local 6pm anchor. He literally reads the news on the prompter and then uses commercial breaks to text with his buddies and his psycho girlfriend. After you've been reading the news in your TV voice for a few decades it gets really boring.

Sometimes when I'm watching I'll fuck with him, like "dude the reason Ericka (his female costar) is looking at you funny is because you've got a huge booger on your shirt collar."

Or "would you tell the sports guy to hurry the fuck up so I can watch the 6:30 rerun of Big Bang Theory?"

The moment the camera turns off he is out the door like a shot, we will make plans to meet up at 6:35 and he's usually a minute or 2 early.

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SiAP but when you are really thirsty and you order unsweet tea, and the waitstaff delivers sweet and you take a huge gulp, realize it's sweet (noooooo!!!1!!) And then have to make a split second decision to either stop drinking it and wait for a replacement or keep drinking it (it's so cold!!!) and the deal with the sugar rush/diabetus.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

I'm good friends with my local 6pm anchor. He literally reads the news on the prompter and then uses commercial breaks to text with his buddies and his psycho girlfriend. After you've been reading the news in your TV voice for a few decades it gets really boring.

Sometimes when I'm watching I'll fuck with him, like "dude the reason Ericka (his female costar) is looking at you funny is because you've got a huge booger on your shirt collar."

Or "would you tell the sports guy to hurry the fuck up so I can watch the 6:30 rerun of Big Bang Theory?"

The moment the camera turns off he is out the door like a shot, we will make plans to meet up at 6:35 and he's usually a minute or 2 early.

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Haha good to know, i have closure. Is ericka hot?

Saw one jump out of a truck cruising 70 down I-10. That was nice

I do it when its 80+ but only in town going 40 or less mph

Good thought process. A body part caught between two 2-ton vehicles traveling in opposite directions less than 40 mph couldn’t possibly hurt anything.

5 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

SiAP but when you are really thirsty and you order unsweet tea, and the waitstaff delivers sweet and you take a huge gulp, realize it's sweet (noooooo!!!1!!) And then have to make a split second decision to either stop drinking it and wait for a replacement or keep drinking it (it's so cold!!!) and the deal with the sugar rush/diabetus.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
 

Or when you leave a half empty glass of vodka on your night stand and think its water in the morning.....

Good thought process. A body part caught between two 2-ton vehicles traveling in opposite directions less than 40 mph couldn’t possibly hurt anything.

When I was in high school my friends and I were riding in my friends camero going about 70. One of my friends was in the front passenger seat with his elbow hanging out the window. The car swerved to the side and my friend clipped his elbow on a speed limit sign post with no damage at all. Might have had something to do with pot and beer though.
12 hours ago, mdmost said:

Not so much surly but it troubles me when I see people hanging their arms outside a driver's side window of their car or truck. I have irrational fear that it's going to get clipped off by some asshole who's texting and quickly moves over into your lane. 

You call it fear. I'd call it anticipation. 

11 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

You call it fear. I'd call it anticipation. 

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On 11/16/2018 at 12:54 PM, BearSchlong said:

I'm good friends with my local 6pm anchor. He literally reads the news on the prompter and then uses commercial breaks to text with his buddies and his psycho girlfriend. After you've been reading the news in your TV voice for a few decades it gets really boring.

Sometimes when I'm watching I'll fuck with him, like "dude the reason Ericka (his female costar) is looking at you funny is because you've got a huge booger on your shirt collar."

Or "would you tell the sports guy to hurry the fuck up so I can watch the 6:30 rerun of Big Bang Theory?"

The moment the camera turns off he is out the door like a shot, we will make plans to meet up at 6:35 and he's usually a minute or 2 early.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
 

Dale Hansen is rather famous for just leaving the bar in time to do his spiel and being back at the bar about 30 seconds after he's done.

They all laughed at Christopher Columbus when he said the world was round.

Quote
U.S.

Guy loses arm after falling asleep and getting hit by an incoming bus

Coconuts Manila Coconuts Manila,Coconuts Manila 11 hours ago 
1fc5762ba73d5c9aea42d5507e0f8f11

Falling asleep on public transport may be much more dangerous than it seems.

A man’s arm was severed after it was accidentally hit by an incoming bus on Saturday morning.

According to Facebook user Aqu Si Val Coe, who was on the same bus that the unidentified man was riding, the incident happened at 9:30am along EDSA-Kamuning in Quezon City.

She explains in the Facebook post she shared on Saturday that the bus accidentally hit the man’s arm because it was hanging out of the window. The man was sleeping before the incident occurred.

Bombo Radyo reported that the rescue team of the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) arrived at the scene with first-aid.

Balitambayan reported that the man was being treated at the East Avenue Medical Center in Quezon City.

The video has garnered over 1.5million views and 20,000 shares as of this article’s posting. Netizens were alarmed by the incident:

Facebook user Amor Eli Tejome Sulat wrote: “The rescue [team] takes so long [to arrive], I pity him, he keeps crying.”

 

On 11/16/2018 at 6:58 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:


When I was in high school my friends and I were riding in my friends camero going about 70. One of my friends was in the front passenger seat with his elbow hanging out the window. The car swerved to the side and my friend clipped his elbow on a speed limit sign post with no damage at all. Might have had something to do with pot and beer though.

A farmer I worked for back in high school was driving down a country road with his arm straight out the window catching wind with his hand.  A dove flew up from the grass and broke his hand.  Had feathers stuck to it.

32 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

A farmer I worked for back in high school was driving down a country road with his arm straight out the window catching wind with his hand.  A dove flew up from the grass and broke his hand.  Had feathers stuck to it.

Did he keep the dove?

11 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I didn't ask, probably bit its head off.

Was this the farmer?

ozzy-osbourne-picture-3_101014-500x651.j

1 minute ago, Buffsoldier said:

Was this the farmer?

ozzy-osbourne-picture-3_101014-500x651.j

Not hardly.  He's now a justice of the peace, precinct 1 in Colorado County.  

On 11/16/2018 at 6:58 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:


When I was in high school my friends and I were riding in my friends camero going about 70. One of my friends was in the front passenger seat with his elbow hanging out the window. The car swerved to the side and my friend clipped his elbow on a speed limit sign post with no damage at all. Might have had something to do with pot and beer though.

I now picture you looking like Joe Dirt in hs.  

Not trivial. I'd have demanded a refund. It's simply un-American, the very thought.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

They probably charged you more for the privilege (one fee for the nanny itself, and another for activating it), and probably ratted you out to your insurance company for good measure as well. 

On 11/16/2018 at 11:36 AM, Lobo said:

I thought it was to pretend like they were getting hot leads in real time there at the news desk.  Even though they don't really look at them, I thought was the "we're constantly connected to our people in the field" deal they were trying to convey.  But yeah, the hot one in the glasses on KXAN.  I keep sending dick pics to her, but she won't pick up her phone on air.  

Sheesh guys, news anchors like porn too.

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