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Both Caps Lock and Num Lock keys. Fuck you. Those pieces of shit need be a lot father away from the keys I actually use.

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    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
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    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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Both Caps Lock and Num Lock keys. Fuck you. Those pieces of shit need be a lot father away from the keys I actually use.
I never understood why anyone would ever want to turn the numbers keys off in the first place. The only time my hand goes over there is for the numbers in the first place.
13 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
15 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:
Both Caps Lock and Num Lock keys. Fuck you. Those pieces of shit need be a lot father away from the keys I actually use.

I never understood why anyone would ever want to turn the numbers keys off in the first place. The only time my hand goes over there is for the numbers in the first place.

Troof.

Arrow keys? Page Down? What is this 1985? I have a mouse for that shit.

54 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Troof.

Arrow keys? Page Down? What is this 1985? I have a mouse for that shit.

644042.jpg?b64lines=IEkgU0VFICJFU0MuLi4i

Troof.
Arrow keys? Page Down? What is this 1985? I have a mouse for that shit.
I use page up and down and end when rolling message boards on my laptop.

The number lock key can die in a fire for all i care
47 minutes ago, Js1 said:

644042.jpg?b64lines=IEkgU0VFICJFU0MuLi4i

Whew, all this computing is making me thirsty.  I could use a Tab.

Driving with your arm hanging out is one of life's simple pleasures.

Assholes using the COMMERCIAL CUSTOMERS ONLY line at the bank drive-up for their piddly-ass personal shit.  

7 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I use page up and down and end when rolling message boards on my laptop.

The number lock key can die in a fire for all i care

Mouse wheel has replaced the up and down arrow keys.... left right keys can join the number lock key in the fire

Assholes using the COMMERCIAL CUSTOMERS ONLY line at the bank drive-up for their piddly-ass personal shit.  
People that park nearby and walk to the Commerical window. Literally get out of there car and stand there when they could've just gone inside.
2 hours ago, Bama Llama said:

Assholes using the COMMERCIAL CUSTOMERS ONLY line at the bank drive-up for their piddly-ass personal shit.  

Can’t imagine all the money would fit in the carrier/chute when I’m robbing it, so commercial lane it is. 

Hearing a broadcaster say that a defensive back got called for pass interference because he did not look back for the ball. Defensive back gets called for pass interference because he got beat! When a DB is beat he should never look back for the ball! He should always close on the receiver and play the receiver's hands.

Ad nauseum use of "dial up," as in "Coach Smegma dialed up more pressure."  Just stop it with the dialing up already.  I'm talking to you, Herbstreit.

  • Author

When the acorn stuck behind my sunroof rolls across the inside of my car's roof.

When you google something on your phone, you click on the result and tapatalk automatically puts whatever site you go to in the list of forums you follow

I would've kept looking. life is too short to be surrounded by fat obnoxious people and you probably sat by them on the plane anyways

When all the college games I really want to watch on Saturday are all on at the same time.....

Love it when fatasses like me ruin you pussies day.  

New leather shoes that squeak. Conversely, new leather shoes squeaking on someone else is hilarious.

When motherfucking ESPN schedules back to back games and doesn't allow enough time, so you miss the first quarter of the second game because the first game lasted longer than 2.5 hours, then the fourth quarter of the second game doesn't get recorded by the DVR because, surfuckingprise, that game also lasted longer than the scheduled time.

Yet another reason to hate ESPN.

Maybe B12 games should go to 10 minute Qtrs in order to fit into the 3hr window for television? 

On 11/24/2018 at 12:22 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

When all the college games I really want to watch on Saturday are all on at the same time.....

Reminds me of the "good old days" when we'd watch bowl games on multiple TV's on New Year's day.

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Reminds me of the "good old days" when we'd watch bowl games on multiple TV's on New Year's day.

Yup - I remember bringing a TV with me to a Friends NYE party so we would have three of four TV's going the next day

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Reminds me of the "good old days" when we'd watch bowl games on multiple TV's on New Year's day.

Even the "gooder, good old days" when the Sugar Bowl was on NYE, Cotton early afternoon, Rose late afternoon and then the Orange to top off the evening. 

People who need a full mile in between cars before they'll pull out into the street and turn.

The trash cans at some restaurants that you take your basket to the trash yourself that have that tiny portal to put your trash through.  

12 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

The trash cans at some restaurants that you take your basket to the trash yourself that have that tiny portal to put your trash through.  

Just dump it on the floor and leave.

2 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Just dump it on the floor and leave.

Even better

1 minute ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Even better

Nice, but doesn't make a statement like dumping it on the floor does.

21 hours ago, Underdog said:

Even the "gooder, good old days" when the Sugar Bowl was on NYE, Cotton early afternoon, Rose late afternoon and then the Orange to top off the evening. 

And no blacks or Jews, amitire?  

Certainly not during the Anita Bryant Halftime Show. 

34 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Just take a dump it on the floor and leave.

Fixed for Shaggy users.

On 11/24/2018 at 8:31 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Lin-Manuel Miranda. 

Yeah, fuck that guy. 

24 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Fixed for Shaggy users.

But, what about the Surly users?!

9 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

But, what about the Surly users?!

Surly users wouldn't be caught dead in an establishment with insufficient waste receptacles.

People who have cars without window tint. What the fuck dude you live in Texas how can you stand to drive like that? Tint is the first thing I get on my new cars.

People who have cars without window tint. What the fuck dude you live in Texas how can you stand to drive like that? Tint is the first thing I get on my new cars.

Dealers that don’t order cars with tint from the factory makes me surly.

Sunshades on pond springs road is also my next stop when buying a car.

People who insist they have an allergy to the element sulfur. 

  • Author

I'm the 10th person on this flight and there's already 6 coats in the overhead bins.

 

Also, people who haven't figured out that seat A is on the port side of the aircraft.

 

 

 

Edit: people's inability to efficiently use overhead bin space drives me nuts

3 hours ago, Llogg said:

People who insist they have an allergy to the element sulfur. 

I know, right? It's really the brimstone that gets 'em, but will they listen?

Edited by Walden Ponderer
Really, autocorrect?

Went to a medical appointment today. The Doc comes in the room and greets me by saying "Hi (first name), I'm Dr. (last name).  This pisses me off. Don't mix formal and informal greetings. I'm not a child and you're not my better (I was easily 15 years his senior).  Don't get me wrong. If you want to use an honorific and refer to yourself as Dr. (last name), that's fine- you've earned it.  But if you do, you should refer to me as Mr. (last name) until I tell you otherwise- which I will do. If you'd like to refer to me by my first name (which is actually my preference), you should introduce yourself by your own first and last name. I already know you're a doctor and will use the honorific either way.

  • Author

Very trivial, well done

3 hours ago, elfenix said:

Also, people who haven't figured out that seat A is on the port side of the aircraft.

I hope using the words port and starboard casually in conversation makes people surly.  I do it all the time.

Went to a medical appointment today. The Doc comes in the room and greets me by saying "Hi (first name), I'm Dr. (last name).  This pisses me off. Don't mix formal and informal greetings. I'm not a child and you're not my better (I was easily 15 years his senior).  Don't get me wrong. If you want to use an honorific and refer to yourself as Dr. (last name), that's fine- you've earned it.  But if you do, you should refer to me as Mr. (last name) until I tell you otherwise- which I will do. If you'd like to refer to me by my first name (which is actually my preference), you should introduce yourself by your own first and last name. I already know you're a doctor and will use the honorific either way.
I'm bad with remembering names so I probably wouldn't have even noticed that.

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