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23 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

"Times" is the opposite of "goes-intas".

 

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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On 4/9/2018 at 3:19 PM, DougO said:

Napkins and simple condiments in a lot of places where you can't even grab a pouch of ketchup without special behind-the-counter supervision.

I was at Whataburger the other day, needed a napkin but the dispenser was empty.  Sitting at a table right next to the condiments counter was a 350 lb woman eating her burgers with a 1-1/2” tall stack of napkins on her tray. 

Idoits that continue to post pics using Imgur. 

Inconsiderate assholes that park at gas pumps to run inside and grab beer.

 

Even worse is when that fuckstain parks at one of the two diesel pumps and doesn't even buy gas.

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On ‎4‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 8:33 AM, deadshank said:

At the doc with wife so she can have a procedure done this morn.  

Why do people bring their entire family to the doctor?  I’m not talking about a single mom with young children.  I’m talking mom, dad and 2 grown-assed kids in their 20’s.  

And then they all get up together to go out into the elevator lobby and the reverse skate 1 minute later only to do it all again 6 more times in 10 minutes.  

Sit down and quit going in and out the danged door.  

(Daughter is pretty cute FWIW)

I can only speak for myself but my sister and I go when my dad has a major procedure. He's not doing well and you never know if it could be the last time you get to talk to him. 

 

SO SIAP, but what is the etiquette for those walk-in ATMs, you know the enclosed buildings?

I was doing my banking business in one when some damn woman just walks in and stands right behind me as if we are in line at the Walmart checkout.

I asked her, "Can I help you?" and she looks and says "No." I then asked her "do you mind waiting outside? until I am done in here." Mind you, I was just depositing a paper check and not preparing to spend the night in there or taking long and I was only in there because the drive up ATM machine was out of order and I needed some cash too.

Damn, that irritates me when people do this.

 

14 minutes ago, Sandman said:

I can only speak for myself but my sister and I go when my dad has a major procedure. He's not doing well and you never know if it could be the last time you get to talk to him. 

 

Point taken

1 hour ago, PvilleStang said:

Inconsiderate assholes that park at gas pumps to run inside and grab beer.

 

Even worse is when that fuckstain parks at one of the two diesel pumps and doesn't even buy gas.

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Or diesel

9 minutes ago, Escapedgoat said:

SO SIAP, but what is the etiquette for those walk-in ATMs, you know the enclosed buildings?

I was doing my banking business in one when some damn woman just walks in and stands right behind me as if we are in line at the Walmart checkout.

I asked her, "Can I help you?" and she looks and says "No." I then asked her "do you mind waiting outside? until I am done in here." Mind you, I was just depositing a paper check and not preparing to spend the night in there or taking long and I was only in there because the drive up ATM machine was out of order and I needed some cash too.

Damn, that irritates me when people do this.

 

The code word you're looking for is Bosco...  Bosco.

Why do so many people who use the paper ass gaskets in public restrooms not bother to flush or make sure they deal with the paper mess?  If you are so damn particular that you won't sit on a toilet seat, why are you also a slob?

I don't get it.

Right now this fat chick who just walked right past the stairs with a box of donuts and waited for the elevator to go down one story.

1 minute ago, TrashMaster G said:

Why do so many people who use the paper ass gaskets in public restrooms not bother to flush or make sure they deal with the paper mess?  If you are so damn particular that you won't sit on a toilet seat, why are you also a slob?

I don't get it.

Yep.  Those are the same people that will use the paper towel to open the door then throw the towel on the ground outside the restroom.  I sometimes wonder if they do that at home as well.

Single-ply toilet paper, especially in public restrooms.  I get it, you need to buy bulk to supply your bathrooms.  But when it takes 10 feet of your shitty single ply to wipe, versus 4-6 squares of a good double or triple ply TP, just upgrade and buy the better TP and make company morale rise in a single wipe.

26 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Or diesel

Well, we knew he wasn't putting diesel in that POS.  But, next time, maybe I'll swing the pump around and top him off.

17 minutes ago, Hanrahan said:

Right now this fat chick who just walked right past the stairs with a box of donuts and waited for the elevator to go down one story.

Gotta build up your energy.

2 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

Inconsiderate assholes that park at gas pumps to run inside and grab beer.

 

Even worse is when that fuckstain parks at one of the two diesel pumps and doesn't even buy gas.

image.png

Probably inside prepaying.  "I'll get $2 on 3"

Just now, markstanco said:

Probably inside prepaying.  "I'll get $2 on 3"

And $30  on chili dogs, Funyuns, sweet tea & smokes.

16 minutes ago, deadshank said:

And $30  on chili dogs, Funyuns, sweet tea & smokes.

And not a damn thing wrong with any of that. 

2 hours ago, Escapedgoat said:

SO SIAP, but what is the etiquette for those walk-in ATMs, you know the enclosed buildings?

.

 

Andre the Giant sized fart. 

the automated voicemail recording that plays after the actual persons recording..."at the tone, please record your message. After you have finished recording you may hang -up or press 1 for more options".
 
I KNOW HOW VOICEMAILS WORK, QUIT WASTING MY TIME!
In my life, I have never pressed 1 for more options after leaving a voicemail. I'm wondering what they are.

People at the Deli in HEB, when it is open, that order four slices of five or six different items.

 

I ordered a subscription to Road and Track in January. I still haven't received an issue, so I went through their purposefully useless website to ask what the fuck, and I learned that my first issue is scheduled to be the June issue. I contacted customer service, and after a few rounds of meaningless canned answers, a sentient human explained that the covers are printed that far in advance or some shit.

I realize that it probably comes out in May or even April, but I have half a mind to cancel that shit on principle.

And these fuckers probably wonder why their industry is dying. 

Waiters and waitresses that include themselves in the process.  What can I get us to drink? Do we need more time to look at the menu? Have we decided yet? There is no "we" bitch.  There is us, the paying patrons, and there is you.  Also with the specials description.  We're going to take a 7-9 ounce filet of snapper, then we're going to season it with expired, canned buttholes.  The chef is doing all of this.  There is no fucking "we".  I have no idea why, but this makes me ragey.

28 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I ordered a subscription to Road and Track in January. I still haven't received an issue, so I went through their purposefully useless website to ask what the fuck, and I learned that my first issue is scheduled to be the June issue. I contacted customer service, and after a few rounds of meaningless canned answers, a sentient human explained that the covers are printed that far in advance or some shit.

I realize that it probably comes out in May or even April, but I have half a mind to cancel that shit on principle.

And these fuckers probably wonder why their industry is dying. 

i still don't understand.... the first magazine they send you has to be the next one that they print?  You'd think they'd want to hang on for life for as long as possible.

6 hours ago, GhostRider said:

Anyone who refers to themselves as an "Instagram model".

like the person in your AV or maybe she has moved up to "influencer"

Edited by ButtFumble

6 hours ago, Hanrahan said:

Right now this fat chick who just walked right past the stairs with a box of donuts and waited for the elevator to go down one story.

maybe she is on a diet and it was a box of half donuts

18 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

i still don't understand.... the first magazine they send you has to be the next one that they print?  You'd think they'd want to hang on for life for as long as possible.

I don't fucking know either. And if I thought that subscribing to Automobile instead would get me an issue in a reasonable length of time, I'd cancel R&T without ever receiving a copy. 

Reports with unjustified margins.

Seriously people, do we have to live like animals.

On April 10, 2018 at 3:59 PM, ButtFumble said:

 

you should start a half donut franchise...instead of selling them by the dozen sell them by the two dozen

Half Of The Donut To You!

Reports.


The cover sheets are going on BEFORE they go out, now. So if you could, just...yeah. I’ll get you a copy of that memo.
15 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
On 4/10/2018 at 11:13 AM, BayouBill said:
the automated voicemail recording that plays after the actual persons recording..."at the tone, please record your message. After you have finished recording you may hang -up or press 1 for more options".
 
I KNOW HOW VOICEMAILS WORK, QUIT WASTING MY TIME!

In my life, I have never pressed 1 for more options after leaving a voicemail. I'm wondering what they are.

Audio equivalent of emoticons. Shit like that.

People that let their cats roam about the neighborhood.  Keep it in your house.

13 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I have had Ozzy OsBourne's Crazy Train stuck in my head for two days.  It is making me surly.

Sounds like you're going off the rails.

22 hours ago, Hanrahan said:

Right now this fat chick who just walked right past the stairs with a box of donuts and waited for the elevator to go down one story.

Stairs are for fucking suckers. 

People who walk on the left side of any walkway path be it the sidewalk, at a store, stadium, etc. Get the fuck to the right dipshit.

People who put their used dip in urinals.
This plugged up a urinal at my office once and it was a week before they fixed it.
33 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

People who walk on the left side of any walkway path be it the sidewalk, at a store, stadium, etc. Get the fuck to the right dipshit.

head down straight line on the right.  if we walk into each other that's your choice.

I want to kick the shit out of this stupid kid. I don't know where he came from, or why he's on the internet, but I hate his guts. Same goes for his attention whore mother/father/owner/manager. 

 

 

Fast food places that don't put salt on their fries.

Sent from my KFSUWI using Tapatalk

And no matter how hard I try, I can’t salt them the right way like a good fast food place that does salt them correctly. 

7 hours ago, plvhorn said:

And no matter how hard I try, I can’t salt them the right way like a good fast food place that does salt them correctly. 

Did you try adding the tears of a Sooner / $EC fan working at $10 / hr.?  That's the McDonalds secret.

Maybe not trivial, but I go to change my brake rotors yesterday.  Costco overtorqued one lug nut so much that I couldn't get it off with a 4-way and a three foot cheater pipe.  Bent the fuck out of my wrench.

Edited by retsevlys

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