Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

1 minute ago, Hate said:

Thanks all for the responses. And can you really die from tazing yourself in the balls? Guess my Saturday nights are going to change from now on.

Yes.  Always have a trusted partner do the ball-tazing.  And have a good safe word.  Something like

ow-my-balls.jpg

  • Replies 1.2k
  • Views 72.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • NeverMarryAStripper
    NeverMarryAStripper

    I can't speak to whether or not it is an Austin chapter of the Democratic Underground, but I can speak to my own experience.  I'm sure you all know that I'm an old.  I'm also very far from being a wok

  • I used to be a Republican.  Voted for Republicans all my life until 2016.  I did not vote for Trump (or Hillary) in 2016. In 2020 I voted for Biden.  I figured Trump might be a wildcard, but I was sur

  • I really don’t know what you mean. I am appalled by this. And what is a happening today. Same as with destructive riots and burning down businesses. Appalled and disgusted. I don’t think you truly kno

Posted Images

20 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

 

"I hate this thread so much that I've posted 47 times in it!"

 

oh-brad.jpg

27 minutes ago, Hate said:

How did the 5 people die? I know about the officer that was hit with the fire extinguisher, one other officer/guard had a stroke (I think), and the lady that was shot by the SS agent. I haven’t heard of what happened to the other two people.

COVID

news update:  They vote on articles to impeach today or tomorrow.  It passes and is sent over to Senate for trial preparation.  Mitch procedurally drags plus they don't officially have to reconvene until the 19th. More procedural drags.  Trump leaves office on the 20th.  Georgia Senators are seated on the 22nd.  Mitch claims his hands are tied after that and he can no longer protect his party's leader---Donald Trump.  Democrats now have cover to drop the incitement/insurrection charges because those are crimes by which to remove Trump from office and they wouldn't have a 2/3 vote even with the two new Georgia senators.  
Here's the kicker.  The second portion of the Impeachment is that Trump never be allowed to hold federal office ever again.  And that vote, only requires a simple majority.  50 votes + the Vice President (and/or a couple of defecting Republicans).  With just a few days delay, and a new simple Democrat Majority...the Master McConnell effectively rids his party of Donald Trump for 2024 and beyond. 
McConnell gets to look like he wasn't forcibly trying to remove Trump, maintains most of the base, he doesn't hamper but doesn't support what's going on under Pelosi's evil House Chamber, Trump is technically impeached a second time, but they avoid the embarrassment of being removed from office at least, and the cherry on top is McConnell doesn't have to swing a gavel but in that lack of gesture---he washes his party's hands of Donald Trump forever.  Pretty fucking genius actually.  He lives to run the Senate in 2022 again and hand-picks the candidate for POTUS in 2024.  And nobody murders Mike Pence on live TV which I think Mike would appreciate.  


I honestly don’t think Trump could get elected dog catcher at this point. But I still don’t want him to be able to run.
8 minutes ago, Hpara759 said:

COVID

the co-morbidities that the county health officials will conveniently ignore being:  tased scrotum, fire extinguisher embedded in skull, some sort of pointy metal thing lodged in woman's neck, another pointy metal thing, one more pointy metal thing that seems to have entered through the mouth (wouldn't have happened had he been wearing a mask), and then a stroke.  

I'm tired of all this Covid-19 double-counting for deaths.  It's just about hospital codes billing for more money. 

Of course we have more Capitol deaths, we have the biggest Capitol.  

Edited by Lobo

47 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

echo chamber of internet bad asses

More true words have never been spoken.  Austin's very own chapter of Democratic Underground.

11 minutes ago, Lobo said:

the co-morbidities that the county health officials will conveniently ignore being:  tased scrotum, fire extinguisher embedded in skull, some sort of pointy metal thing lodged in woman's neck, another pointy metal thing, one more pointy metal thing that seems to have entered through the mouth (wouldn't have happened had he been wearing a mask), and then a stroke.  

I'm tired of all this Covid-19 double-counting for deaths.  It's just about hospital codes billing for more money. 

Of course we have more Capitol deaths, we have the biggest Capitol.  

a108798f44c389c5076cfc5d49448856_w200.gi

10 minutes ago, Lobo said:

 tased scrotum

 

 

 

giphy.gif

Ugh. I turn on the news for the first time in a week and it’s fucking Marjorie Taylor-Greene.

Imagine getting into bed for the first time in a week and you're fucking Marjorie Taylor-Greene.

The taser thing was debunked.

giphy.gif
20 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

The taser thing was debunked.

So....wait.....it IS safe to tase oneself in the nads?

Asking for a friend.

When my wife gently, yet sternly, clutched my balls in one hand, went rummaging around the nightstand drawer with the other hand, and said, "You ready to fuck the lightning"?  I should have clarified what she meant.  Ended up being much cheaper than a vasectomy.  She's so good at saving us money, plus she knows I love ball-play.

Edited by Lobo

26 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

The taser thing was debunked.

That's disappointing, so I guess he was just such a fat fuck filled with hate that his ticker gave out walking up the stairs to invade the capitol?

5 minutes ago, Captainant said:

That's disappointing, so I guess he was just such a fat fuck filled with hate that his ticker gave out walking up the stairs to invade the capitol?

Being fat is a comorbidity.

33 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

More true words have never been spoken.  Austin's very own chapter of Democratic Underground.

 

Hey look everyone Baba decided it's been long enough since his embarrassing performance on the Covid thread that he'd return to grace us with more hot takes!

Just now, BradInATX said:

 

Hey look everyone Baba decided it's been long enough since his embarrassing performance on the Covid thread that he'd return to grace us with more hot takes!

Hey it's Brad.  How about this.  Maybe go fuck your own face you pedantic twat.  

Gentlemen, this is not the time for divisiveness.  We need unity.  Not one man in this country will rest for a minute until the people that perpetrated this insurrection are brought to justice.  Now let's go grab a bite to eat. 

4 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Gentlemen, this is not the time for divisiveness.  We need unity.  Not one man in this country will rest for a minute until the people that perpetrated this insurrection are brought to justice.  Now let's go grab a bite to eat. 

This thread was better when it was focused on ball tazing.

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

This thread was better when it was focused on ball tazing.

sounds like something Lance Armstrong would say about his HGH investigation thread. 

2 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

#fuckTomHerman

I mean I'll always +rep this.

2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

sounds like something Lance Armstrong would say about his HGH investigation thread. 

#Icarus

14 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

#Icarus

Appropriate analogy since your false god decided to fly to close to the sun and incite a riot, and is now crashing down to the ocean to die painfully choking out on seawater which is how some nurses describe watching a Covid-19 patient's final moments. I guess that makes you Daedalus?

41 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Hey it's Brad.  How about this.  Maybe go fuck your own face you pedantic twat.  

He mad 

Pedantic Twat?  I for one, enjoy a formal vagina that pays attention to detail.  

In real news---FBI now reporting with the Capitol so obviously locked down, insurrectionist chatter now moving to taking over the SCOTUS building for their part in failing to 'Stop the Steal.'  with most justices at the Inauguration, it would be unclear what the purpose would be.  Perhaps to lay explosives?  

Edited by Lobo

1 hour ago, Hate said:

Thanks all for the responses. And can you really die from tazing yourself in the balls? Guess my Saturday nights are going to change from now on.

I would think at the very least that’s a young mans game

1 minute ago, Doc Reeves said:

I would think at the very least that’s a young mans game

 

Just now, Doc Reeves said:

I would think at the very least that’s a young mans game

 

Just now, Doc Reeves said:

I would think at the very least that’s a young mans game

Say It Again Paul Rudd GIF by MOODMAN

I would think at the very least that’s a young mans game

The older you get the more you need.

trump is now the first president to be impeached twice. And the common factor in both cases was an attempt by trump to subvert democracy and institutionalize big lies to solidify his power. First it was using the power of the presidency to menace Ukraine to create a sham investigation into Hunter Biden to denigrate his opponent Joe Biden, then it was inciting a riot to #STOPTHESTEAL and prevent the constitutionally mandated counting of electoral college votes for president Joe Biden.

Fuck trump. And anyone who still supports his seditious lies.

Edited by Captainant

1 minute ago, Captainant said:

trump is now the first president to be impeached twice. And the common factor in both cases was an attempt by trump to subvert democracy and institutionalize big lies to solidify his power. First it was using the power of the presidency to menace Ukraine to create a sham investigation into Hunter Biden to denigrate his opponent Joe Biden, then it was inciting a riot to #STOPTHESTEAL and prevent the constitutionally mandated counting of electoral college votes for president Joe Biden.

Fuck trump. And anyone who still supports his seditious lies.

They haven't voted for impeachment, unless I missed something. 

 

Just now, workswithseed said:

They haven't voted for impeachment, unless I missed something. 

 

you missed something 

Just now, workswithseed said:

They haven't voted for impeachment, unless I missed something. 

An impeachment is effectively an indictment. HR.24 is formal articles of impeachment that was just passed on a bipartisan vote. Next it'll go to the senate for adjudication

Was formally impeached when they gaveled out at 4:37-EST.  

Seems like a harsh punishment for a man encouraging patriots to exercise their first amendment rights.  

The gaveling of the vote seems appropriate since that was the time of death of one of the riot victims.  

There will be no Senate trial for the incitement/insurrection charges however.  Only a trail to decide whether or not the person that did this can ever hold federal office.  

 

3 minutes ago, Lobo said:

There will be no Senate trial for the incitement/insurrection charges however.  Only a trail to decide whether or not the person that did this can ever hold federal office.  

Best part is that there are two historic impeachments that set the precedent that barring from future office only requires a simple majority, rather than a 2/3rds for removal from office [source]. Don't even need any seditious senators to see the light

So....wait.....it IS safe to tase oneself in the nads?
Asking for a friend.


Between this and inquiring after Pelosi nudes... I worry about you man.
1 minute ago, Buzzrock said:

 


Between this and inquiring after Pelosi nudes... I worry about you man.

 

I am a man of diverse and adventurous tastes.

6KOMM3WEQEI6TKTRIBWI6S7HAY.jpg

 

Impeached his fatass twice. I still maintain that it is mostly political grandstanding *unless* they can block him from running in 2024. That actually benefits Republicans, but I just don’t want to see him try to build a political following again.

13 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

Impeached his fatass twice. I still maintain that it is mostly political grandstanding *unless* they can block him from running in 2024. That actually benefits Republicans, but I just don’t want to see him try to build a political following again.

Oh they can block him, that’s what the Republicans want.   They just don’t want the baggage associated with being part of a seditious criminal enterprise.  Which is what they are. 

Climactic Conflict?  "What does that even mean Wang, huh...I don't even know what that means 'climactic conflict is here'?"  

If it means what I think it means...I get to sit back in my nice neighborhood and drink wine while stupid domestic supporters are killed by police, national guard, and U.S. military.  And I get to tell my daughters that this chapter of stupidity never happened.  I hope more of some of you sign up to be cannon fodder.  Certainly cheaper for us in the long run.  Plus maybe you'll get an aisle at Hobby Lobby named after you.  

3 hours ago, Captainant said:

Best part is that there are two historic impeachments that set the precedent that barring from future office only requires a simple majority, rather than a 2/3rds for removal from office [source]. Don't even need any seditious senators to see the light

That's not quite true. The Senate would first have to vote with a 2/3 majority to convict by the Articles of Impeachment, even if he's out of office. Only once he's been convicted by at least one of those, then they can vote for any future disqualifications with a probable simple majority. But that requires a second vote, I can only occur if 2/3 of the Senate can first convicts him on at least one of the Articles.

They'll still need 2/3 of the Senate members present to convict.

If there is no vote on removal from office, there can be no requirement it was passed with a 2/3rds majority.  There is a deal underway to skip that step since he'll already be outta office.  No guarantees obviously since we are in completely uncharted territory.  /noCR

 

Climactic Conflict?  "What does that even mean Wang, huh...I don't even know what that means 'climactic conflict is here'?"  
If it means what I think it means...I get to sit back in my nice neighborhood and drink wine while stupid domestic supporters are killed by police, national guard, and U.S. military.  And I get to tell my daughters that this chapter of stupidity never happened.  I hope more of some of you sign up to be cannon fodder.  Certainly cheaper for us in the long run.  Plus maybe you'll get an aisle at Hobby Lobby named after you.  

This. Let them attack en masse....and die en masse.
7 hours ago, Hate said:

Thanks all for the responses. And can you really die from tazing yourself in the balls? Guess my Saturday nights are going to change from now on.

E52jP0.gif

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.