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I have some mentally challenged cousins, who just traveled through Kentucky and visited the Ark.  I'll let these two photos explain why I say, Jesus Fucking Christ!

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So the Ark is older than we thought?

Noah invented wine drinking and lived to be 950 years old. What more proof do you need of alcohol's greatness???

Bernard

What kind of wood did Noah use in the bible?  And what kind of wood did they use for the replica in Kentucky?  And was it from old bourbon barrels?  

  • Popular Post
15 minutes ago, Horn_Spanker said:

I have some mentally challenged cousins, who just traveled through Kentucky and visited the Ark.  I'll let these two photos explain why I say, Jesus Fucking Christ!

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That's the one thing I hate about Kentucky - all the god damned dimetrodons.

1 minute ago, smuggs said:

That's the one thing I hate about Kentucky - all the god damned dimetrodons.

I understood that reference.

5 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I understood that reference.

Lost Boys?

Wife’s nut job cousin and husband stopped by here on their way from Cali to Austin. This is the only thing they wanted to visit in D/FW.

Wife was a good host and went with. Told them I had to wash my hair and couldn’t make it.
https://discoverycenter.icr.org/things-to-do


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14 minutes ago, TexPx said:

Wife’s nut job cousin and husband stopped by here on their way from Cali to Austin. This is the only thing they wanted to visit in D/FW.

Wife was a good host and went with. Told them I had to wash my hair and couldn’t make it.
https://discoverycenter.icr.org/things-to-do


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damn, i have lived here for 20 years now and never heard of this, but Moses riding a raptor?  sign me up.

would love to see a list of their 'experts' 

15 minutes ago, washparkhorn said:

Epic of Gilgamesh would like a word with Noah. 

An Introductory Guide to the Epic of Gilgamesh

For a second there I thought that was a goat ... and figured it was found in College Station.

2 minutes ago, Braff Zacklin said:

Yea, so it was written ...

bsxftb8r0f341.jpg

I went to their website to see if they sold T-shirts with the Jesus on a T-rex image along with their "museum" name, but I could not find any.    I definitely would have bought one.

1 hour ago, Horn_Spanker said:

I have some mentally challenged cousins, who just traveled through Kentucky and visited the Ark.  I'll let these two photos explain why I say, Jesus Fucking Christ!

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I always get such a kick out of these people

  • Popular Post

In Basic Training there was this side-track training unit called Bravo Company, aka The Fat Boy Club, where, skinny or fat, you might get routed for a few weeks before starting real Basic to exercise, constantly, until you toned up enough to theoretically pass a PT test.

You got paid while you were there, constantly exercising. Eat that, Crossfit.

Anyway, there was a Creationist chaplain who would come around once in a while and teach us about dinosaur footprints being found at the same fossilized mud level as some human's footprints. I always imagined the human as looking like Jim Morrison, fleeing dinosaurs.

I don't remember any of our group being particularly rabid pro-or-anti-Creationist, but as long as the Chaplain talked, we got paid without having to exercise. So sometimes we'd ask lots of questions.

This happened in Kentucky.

My son's snatch host belongs to one of them crazy hillbilly sects. She took the grandkids to Kentucky to see something like that one summer, or it might have been that place. Some vacation, bet they couldn't wait to git home and tell all their friends. Oh hell, who am I kidding, kids like that don't have friends. Just mud, anger and starving animals. 

Uh, I guess I'll have to ask..........what the fuck is a "snatch host"????

3 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Uh, I guess I'll have to ask..........what the fuck is a "snatch host"????

The female or purported female hosting the snatch or faux snatch to which his son is enslaved. 

Why anyone would choose the Ark over spending time at Big Bone Lick State park is beyond me. 

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Uh, I guess I'll have to ask..........what the fuck is a "snatch host"????

I was a snatch host in the early 90s. I hosted a lot of snatches during that time. 

damn, i have lived here for 20 years now and never heard of this, but Moses riding a raptor?  sign me up.
would love to see a list of their 'experts' 

It just opened about a year ago.


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3 hours ago, washparkhorn said:

Epic of Gilgamesh would like a word with Noah. 

An Introductory Guide to the Epic of Gilgamesh

Bros before hoes. Even if your bro is really hairy

Man, that Bill Hicks bit about dinosaurs and the Bible really shook some of the less faithful/more wackadoo variety of Christian fundamentalists. From Glen Rose all the way to Kentucky. “Sing along, children. Behemoth is a dinosaur.”

22 minutes ago, Whitewater Horn said:

Man, that Bill Hicks bit about dinosaurs and the Bible really shook some of the less faithful/more wackadoo variety of Christian fundamentalists. From Glen Rose all the way to Kentucky. “Sing along, children. Behemoth is a dinosaur.”

what a big fucking lizard lord. i'm sure going write about this in my book...

49 minutes ago, Whitewater Horn said:

Man, that Bill Hicks bit about dinosaurs and the Bible really shook some of the less faithful/more wackadoo variety of Christian fundamentalists. From Glen Rose all the way to Kentucky. “Sing along, children. Behemoth is a dinosaur.”

Thats one of God’s easiest jokes!

 

Despite being included in packages of little plastic "dinosaurs", Dimetrodons were not dinosaurs. They went extinct tens of millions of years before dinosaurs evolved. They are more closely related to modern mammals than dinosaurs or reptiles.

 

Anyway, some years ago I volunteered at a local nature conservancy type place. I would frequently lead educational hikes for visiting groups of students or old people or whoever. Sometimes these hikes or walks would focus on local geology. Once I was leading some sort of Christian home school group. We walk into this little ravine and I'm talking about the rock formations, saying something like "Millions of years ago, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

One of the chaperones of the group interrupted me and said "We believe the Earth is only six thousand years old."

I said "Get the fuck out here. Just get out."

No, actually I said "OK, however long ago you want to believe, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

 



Wife’s nut job cousin and husband stopped by here on their way from Cali to Austin. This is the only thing they wanted to visit in D/FW.

Wife was a good host and went with. Told them I had to wash my hair and couldn’t make it.
https://discoverycenter.icr.org/things-to-do


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.
13 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

Read this 100 times on my way to the bottom of the page

20 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

 

19 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

 

18 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

 

17 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

image.gif.5504736526100f4a72f8c964028611cf.gif

Edited by Trey3216

8 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Despite being included in packages of little plastic "dinosaurs", Dimetrodons were not dinosaurs. They went extinct tens of millions of years before dinosaurs evolved. They are more closely related to modern mammals than dinosaurs or reptiles.

 

Anyway, some years ago I volunteered at a local nature conservancy type place. I would frequently lead educational hikes for visiting groups of students or old people or whoever. Sometimes these hikes or walks would focus on local geology. Once I was leading some sort of Christian home school group. We walk into this little ravine and I'm talking about the rock formations, saying something like "Millions of years ago, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

One of the chaperones of the group interrupted me and said "We believe the Earth is only six thousand years old."

I said "Get the fuck out here. Just get out."

No, actually I said "OK, however long ago you want to believe, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

 

Yeah, whichever parent/chaperone selected the "Geology Tour" from the list of options, they should have fucking known.  You don't see Christian Scientists taking group tours of a fucking pharmaceutical facility.  Mormons don't organize brewery tours.  Muslims don't gather 'round to watch Jamon Iberico get sliced at the open market.  I would have offered them the Red tour on geology "That's all geology is.  Pressure and Time.  Thank you for coming, good day."  Then spend the rest of two hours on break.  

This topic reminds me of a similar discussion on TOS, and specifically a sooner poster (onemug...remember him) when asked to explain how the fuck animals that weren't equipped to climb down from Mount Ararat post-flood typed a serious response that has cracked me up for years:

"God placed the most sure footed hippos on the ark."

Sure Footed Hippos is a pretty damn good band name.

Also a great name for a radicalized Christian cult.  

"And we, the Sure Footed Hippos, will lovingly welcome to coming of our savior.  Tomorrow evening, at the Route 38 Applebee's."  

I'm still genuinely surprised at how Creationists are not only still around, but spend so much time, money, and effort trying to convince others of the same 'origin story.'  I guess it also helps explain how shit like Qanon grows its numbers of naive sheep. 

I know it's easy and comforting to think the Universe is only 6,000 years old and 500 million year old fossils are just a ruse.  It's the easy route.  But that's just it, science is easy too.  Nobody's asking you go out after bible study and carbon date rocks for a three years.  People have already done it.  Smart people busted their ass, did the math, and now we know about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, volcanic patters, where oil is, where to build structures and not build structures, and even where to put roadside fun like Inner Space Cavern.  Nobody's asking you to put aside your faith and actually go and do science.  Just accept that it's been done for the benefit of all society and quit wasting your time and money on this shit when you can help people in more meaningful ways.  How many of Austin's homeless could Mayor Adler fit on that ark huh? 

Edited by Lobo

^
Fake picture!  A real Nazi T-Rex would have worn the party armband on his left arm, not his hind-leg.  Poor short-arm bastard though, his "Heil Hitler" salute probably looked pathetic around the HQ.  

11 hours ago, miguelito said:

What's a cubit?

Bill Cosby's greatest bit before he got rapey.

11 hours ago, miguelito said:

What's a cubit?

it's a form of measurement, about the length of the forearm.   Does Dr. Grant and Dr. Malcolm know about this?

 

BTo be fair, an all powerful God would have no trouble creating an earth 6,000 years ago that came ready made with fossils that carbon date as millions of years old.  You know, just as a trick to trap the unfaithful.  Now, disprove that.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper

40 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

BTo be fair, an all powerful God would have no trouble creating an earth 6,000 years ago that came ready made with fossils that carbon date as millions of years old.  You know, just as a trick to trap the unfaithful.  Now, disprove that.

Seriously, he created the world in 6 days... he probably got bored, and was just looking for some diversion from the boredom ... and as we all know, a bored mind is the devils playground...... wait....

11 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Despite being included in packages of little plastic "dinosaurs", Dimetrodons were not dinosaurs. They went extinct tens of millions of years before dinosaurs evolved. They are more closely related to modern mammals than dinosaurs or reptiles.

Those pteranodons in the other photo aren’t dinosaurs either. I’m sure the arksperts have this figured out though.

1 hour ago, BrickHorn said:

Idiocracy-12.png

Looks like one of those slides from a Viewmaster...

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