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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • 58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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#8602
I work in aviation. Most people would probably be surprised by how many neurodivergent people work in the industry. In the nicest way possible, you're basically being kept alive by a load of people with autism, whose childhood obsession with planes has become their career.

 

#8603

I'm at my daughter's Girl Scouts meeting and they're working on Safety badges. Leader asked, "What can you do to prepare for a natural disaster?" and I was good and didn't give my answer, which was "learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay."

Later he asked one of them what the word "evacuation" meant, and I wasn't good. I jumped up, then ran out of the room with my arms flailing wildly.

 

 

 

 

 

...I thought it was funny. My daughter was pretty embarrassed. WHICH JUST MADE IT FUNNIER

Edited by Rimbo

#8604
3 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I'm at my daughter's Girl Scouts meeting and they're working on Safety badges. Leader asked, "What can you do to prepare for a natural disaster?" and I was good and didn't give my answer, which was "learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay."

Later he asked one of them what the word "evacuation" meant, and I wasn't good. I jumped up, then ran out of the room with my arms flailing wildly.

 

 

 

 

 

...I thought it was funny. My daughter was pretty embarrassed. WHICH JUST MADE IT FUNNIER

Next time, just evacuate your bowels! 

#8605
17 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Next time, just evacuate your bowels! 

Beat me to it. Shart thread is that way—->

#8607
On 1/22/2024 at 5:17 PM, FirstTimeCaller said:

These Stanley insulated cups -- it's just the new Yeti replacement fad? What's so special about them versus literally any of the other 100 insulated cups on the market?

From what I heard on some show on NPR, sometimes they come in special colors that are only released in limited edition. But yeah, it’s also a fad like Cabbage Patch dolls or Beanie Babies and largely driven by social media. And yes, they mentioned the “latest alternative to Yeti” factor and predicted there will be another alternative coming down the road. 

#8608
14 hours ago, Rimbo said:

I'm at my daughter's Girl Scouts meeting and they're working on Safety badges. Leader asked, "What can you do to prepare for a natural disaster?" and I was good and didn't give my answer, which was "learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay."

Later he asked one of them what the word "evacuation" meant, and I wasn't good. I jumped up, then ran out of the room with my arms flailing wildly.

 

 

 

 

 

...I thought it was funny. My daughter was pretty embarrassed. WHICH JUST MADE IT FUNNIER

Unless you shoved some of the girls down and out of the way on your exit, and justified it later as saying you were clearing an evacuation path for others, you have failed us.

#8609
1 hour ago, ABSR said:

Unless you shoved some of the girls down and out of the way on your exit, and justified it later as saying you were clearing an evacuation path for others, you have failed us.

Ih8.gif

#8610

Wolfpack? Rizzler?  What's going on over at OB?

 

The Rizzler sounds like a cool dude to me.

 

#8611

How do you eat string cheese?

a) Pulling it apart into long “strings”?

b) Bite off the end like you were raised by wolves. 

#8614
On 1/15/2024 at 11:05 PM, Superhero said:

Chiropractors are not quacks. Mine has been amazing, any bone and body misalignment pain is gone after 2-3

Your wife is gone?

#8615
9 hours ago, Superhero said:

How do you eat string cheese?

a) Pulling it apart into long “strings”?

b) Bite off the end like you were raised by wolves. 

Neither. String cheese is tasteless filler. There are good and great cheeses out there. Why waste time and energy on gross stuff?

#8616
These Stanley insulated cups -- it's just the new Yeti replacement fad? What's so special about them versus literally any of the other 100 insulated cups on the market?
Poodle Skirt ---> Hula Hoop ---> Pet Rock ---> Cabbage Patch Kids ---> Beanie Babies ---> YETI sticker ---> Fidget Spinner ---> Pit Vipers---> "Stanley" ---> whatever is next.

It's a Yeti-type with a handle.

Whoop - de - friggin' - doo.
#8617
10 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

Poodle Skirt ---> Huka Hoop ---> Pet Rock ---> Cabbage Patch Kids ---> Beanie Babies ---> YETI sticker ---> Fidget Spinner ---> Pit Vipers---> "Stanley" ---> whatever is next.

It's a Yeti-type with a handle.

Whoop - de - friggin' - doo.

Hot rods—->lowriders—->jacked-up F-250s—->wrangler jeans—->square-toe boots—->oakleys—>etc. 

Guys do it too. 

#8618
3 hours ago, nnm said:

Neither. String cheese is tasteless filler. There are good and great cheeses out there. Why waste time and energy on gross stuff?

Man oh man you have not lived until you make Italian Meatballs with a cut pieces of Mozzarella cheese sticks in the center.

#8619

My youngest is a cheap date. Just turned 13 today and wanted to go to Fuzzy’s tacos. With grand parents and another that makes 7 of us. They screwed up 4 of the 7 orders.

I find that fascinating for some reason. I wasn’t even mad since they fixed it but holy shit the lack of care is amazing.

#8620

Just gonna leave this here. 

NASA's Coffee cup designed specifically not to spill in zero gravity

 

#8621
25 minutes ago, nnm said:

Just gonna leave this here. 

NASA's Coffee cup designed specifically not to spill in zero gravity

 

I went straight to the comments. 

#8622
30 minutes ago, nnm said:

Just gonna leave this here. 

NASA's Coffee cup designed specifically not to spill in zero gravity

 

She has a post-astronaut career waiting for her.

#8623
4 hours ago, nnm said:

Just gonna leave this here. 

NASA's Coffee cup designed specifically not to spill in zero gravity

 

Of all the astronauts, she should know to use more tongue.  

#8625
Hot rods—->lowriders—->jacked-up F-250s—->wrangler jeans—->square-toe boots—->oakleys—>etc. 
Guys do it too. 
Poodle Skirts, Cabbage Patch & Beanies... sure, assumed feminine.

The others are somewhat gender neutral.
#8627

Apple continues to make such good shit that im never ashamed to be a shill for that company.

Just bought some AppleTV units for the house, and even though my TVs are new and relatively fast, the speed of the ATV is absolutely blazing.

But the real cool thing about it is Facetime with Continuity Camera.  Just set up an iphone in front of the TV.  Facetime uses its high quality camera as the feed, and it automatically pans and zooms to follow human subjects in view.  And the person on the other end is broadcast on the TV.  It's awesome for kids talking to the grandparents.

#8628
1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

Apple continues to make such good shit that im never ashamed to be a shill for that company.

Just bought some AppleTV units for the house, and even though my TVs are new and relatively fast, the speed of the ATV is absolutely blazing.

But the real cool thing about it is Facetime with Continuity Camera.  Just set up an iphone in front of the TV.  Facetime uses its high quality camera as the feed, and it automatically pans and zooms to follow human subjects in view.  And the person on the other end is broadcast on the TV.  It's awesome for kids talking to the grandparents.

As a recent grandparent, I am intrigued by this. 

#8629
On 1/25/2024 at 9:17 PM, markstanco said:

My youngest is a cheap date. Just turned 13 today and wanted to go to Fuzzy’s tacos. With grand parents and another that makes 7 of us. They screwed up 4 of the 7 orders.

I find that fascinating for some reason. I wasn’t even mad since they fixed it but holy shit the lack of care is amazing.

Dunno what they ordered, but if I go to anything that's fast food or fast casual, I order however it comes. Not even going to bother trying to tweak an order. I'm like Ray Shoesmith when I order:

You want to add anything to that?

However it comes.

Do you want the medium or large?

However it comes.

Any other changes?

However it comes.

#8630
11 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Dunno what they ordered, but if I go to anything that's fast food or fast casual, I order however it comes. Not even going to bother trying to tweak an order. I'm like Ray Shoesmith when I order:

You want to add anything to that?

However it comes.

Do you want the medium or large?

However it comes.

Any other changes?

However it comes.

We all got what was on the menu w/o changes.  Also, another personal rule I follow when I cant see in the kitchen like at Fuzzy's, if they screw it up I will with go with it or take the L and eat later.  Wont send food back to the kitchen, no way, no how.  

#8631
1 hour ago, nnm said:

As a recent grandparent, I am intrigued by this. 

At work we have Barco and Logitech tracking cameras for the conference roomS and I know they paid thousands for that….and this is just a cell phone. 

Also the ATV connects to bluetooth headphone quickly and easily every single time without fail. 
 

https://support.apple.com/guide/tv/facetime-at-a-glance-atvb874c905e/tvos

Edited by 52-80

#8632
7 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Dunno what they ordered, but if I go to anything that's fast food or fast casual, I order however it comes. Not even going to bother trying to tweak an order. I'm like Ray Shoesmith when I order:

You want to add anything to that?

However it comes.

Do you want the medium or large?

However it comes.

Any other changes?

However it comes.

I’m the exact same way, even at restaurants. Haven’t gotten a screwed up order in years. 

#8633

everyone knows the politeness and civility of the modern japanese people. what i learned today ethics and morals are actual classes that are taught in grade school, and janitorial tasks are split amongst the students so they all learn this from a young age. 

#8634
9 hours ago, Helobious said:

I’m the exact same way, even at restaurants. Haven’t gotten a screwed up order in years. 

My mother-in-law sends almost everything back. I just smile on the inside. 

#8635
46 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

My mother-in-law sends almost everything back. I just smile on the inside. 

im an absolute chump when it comes to giving honest feedback at restaurants.  i reflexively answer everythings fucking fine and great.

one time i ordered "shrimp pasta" and got a bowl of noodles topped with these miniature shrimp that had to have come from a can.  the whole thing tasted like an absolute salt bomb... and one of the rare instances where the food truly was inedible. i left it uneaten and asked for the bill.

server came by and asked in a genuine tone if everything was okay.  "oh yeah, im just not that hungry today".  goddamn sucker i was.  still never sent a dish back in my life.

#8636
1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

im an absolute chump when it comes to giving honest feedback at restaurants.  i reflexively answer everythings fucking fine and great.

one time i ordered "shrimp pasta" and got a bowl of noodles topped with these miniature shrimp that had to have come from a can.  the whole thing tasted like an absolute salt bomb... and one of the rare instances where the food truly was inedible. i left it uneaten and asked for the bill.

server came by and asked in a genuine tone if everything was okay.  "oh yeah, im just not that hungry today".  goddamn sucker i was.  still never sent a dish back in my life.

Lol. Similar. I'd rather pay for a meal and just leave than have to sit through the discussion of "oh let me make you another one and of course there will be no charge" spiel. I just want to get on with my day.

#8637

Done some recent projects with this coworker and kinda baffled why she isnt already superstar in the company. Science PhD who is:

-highly competent

-supremely meticulous/organized 

-extremely pleasant/amiable 

i know so many people who have 2 of those qualities. almost nobody who have all 3. not that its supposed to matter, but shes also young, speaks with a french accent, and is easy on the eyes. 

#8638
3 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Done some recent projects with this coworker and kinda baffled why she isnt already superstar in the company. Science PhD who is:

-highly competent

-supremely meticulous/organized 

-extremely pleasant/amiable 

i know so many people who have 2 of those qualities. almost nobody who have all 3. not that its supposed to matter, but shes also young, speaks with a french accent, and is easy on the eyes

I suggest that it is more than likely that your assessment of her competence and organizational skills are a bit skewed by her youth and aesthetic qualities. However, usually that ends up with the person being designated a rising star in spite of competence and skills.  
So I don’t know.  Gonna need some photographic input to assess the issue .

 

#8639
5 hours ago, 52-80 said:

im an absolute chump when it comes to giving honest feedback at restaurants.  i reflexively answer everythings fucking fine and great.

one time i ordered "shrimp pasta" and got a bowl of noodles topped with these miniature shrimp that had to have come from a can.  the whole thing tasted like an absolute salt bomb... and one of the rare instances where the food truly was inedible. i left it uneaten and asked for the bill.

server came by and asked in a genuine tone if everything was okay.  "oh yeah, im just not that hungry today".  goddamn sucker i was.  still never sent a dish back in my life.

I sent back a steak one time because it was overcooked (medium instead of medium rare). The replacement was rare. At that point, I just gave up and ate the damn thing instead of complaining.

Some places will comp you if you don't like the food. I had dinner with my then GF at NXNW (not sure if it's still around). I ordered the duck, but it didn't taste like the deliciously fatty duck I imagined it to be. I asked the server if this was the duck, who then brough the manager to see how they could resolve the problem. They didn't need to, but they comped me the entree. I turned around and gave the server a FAT tip that would have covered my entree and then some.

But yeah, I'm usually a chump as well.

 

#8640
1 hour ago, nnm said:

I suggest that it is more than likely that your assessment of her competence and organizational skills are a bit skewed by her youth and aesthetic qualities. However, usually that ends up with the person being designated a rising star in spite of competence and skills.  
So I don’t know.  Gonna need some photographic input to assess the issue .

 

i also know other good looking broads with dogshit brains. They dont last long

#8641
2 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Done some recent projects with this coworker and kinda baffled why she isnt already superstar in the company. Science PhD who is:

-highly competent

-supremely meticulous/organized 

-extremely pleasant/amiable 

i know so many people who have 2 of those qualities. almost nobody who have all 3. not that its supposed to matter, but shes also young, speaks with a french accent, and is easy on the eyes. 


She obviously isn’t fucking her way up the ladder. 

#8643
8 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Done some recent projects with this coworker and kinda baffled why she isnt already superstar in the company. Science PhD who is:

-highly competent

-supremely meticulous/organized 

-extremely pleasant/amiable 

i know so many people who have 2 of those qualities. almost nobody who have all 3. not that its supposed to matter, but shes also young, speaks with a french accent, and is easy on the eyes. 

 

8 hours ago, nnm said:

I suggest that it is more than likely that your assessment of her competence and organizational skills are a bit skewed by her youth and aesthetic qualities. However, usually that ends up with the person being designated a rising star in spite of competence and skills.  
So I don’t know.  Gonna need some photographic input to assess the issue .

 

She obviously don't suck dick.

#8650
Every computer mouse should come with a "back" button next to the thumb.

Way back in 2011, they came out with a mouse that had a back button, minimize button, scroll button, and a scroll wheel.

Armybrat is laughing at you.

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