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Featured Replies

On 8/18/2018 at 1:02 PM, HornsOverIthaca said:

Why does the toilet never fill up no matter how much I pee in it?

Because the elbow on the siphon keeps the water level the same. 

 

 

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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Natural peanut butter with no sugar added is 1000x better than any of the crap with sugar added to it. I can't even eat the other stuff anymore after switching. This is my go to:

nut-n-better-organic-creamy-peanut-butte

On 8/18/2018 at 2:44 PM, 'stache said:

Was the term MILF a thing before American Pie?

Yes.

Everyone who bitches about how Californians have ruined Austin/it's too crowded/etc etc should have to spend a few days in Cincinnati.

11 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Everyone who bitches about how Californians have ruined Austin/it's too crowded/etc etc should have to spend a few days in Cincinnati.

Because they ruined chili?

 

Cincinnati was never ruined.  It started out shitty and has kept it up for 230 years.

And yes, I've been there (my wife's grandparents lived there).  Some nice spots overlooking the Ohio River, but other than that, forget it, Jake, it's Ohiotown.

Edited by phdhorn

7 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Fuck you right in the front hole!

Just doesn't roll off the tongue the same way.

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So my wife and son are into healthy foods using a blender. The problem is that goddamn thing sounds like a F-22 run through a stack of Marshalls on 11.

With all the incredible developments in technology over the past 50 years, why the fuck can't anybody develop a blender that doesn't cause underground faults to open wide when it turns on?

There are anomalies everywhere, exceptions to every rule, and just plain bizarre shit that happens on a daily basis. But I have finally experienced what I believe will be the oddest thing I ever encounter:  I just got off the phone about twenty minutes ago with a rude Canadian.

My dept does a lot of work in Canada. There are some really rude fuckers up there. The thing is, you just can't get mad at em because the whole time you're thinkng about Terrence and Phillip. 

19 hours ago, Steel Shank said:

Does anybody use those thick, foamy koozies anymore? I know I sure fucking don't.

Yes.  If you're in a canoe on a float trip, you can stick an aluminum can in one of those foamy koozies and put the can on the bottom of your canoe.  It won't tip over.  

 

So my wife and son are into healthy foods using a blender. The problem is that goddamn thing sounds like a F-22 run through a stack of Marshalls on 11.
With all the incredible developments in technology over the past 50 years, why the fuck can't anybody develop a blender that doesn't cause underground faults to open wide when it turns on?
She makes a spinach health shake bullshit every morning. That blender resides on its own stand in the laundry room behind a closed door.

When we were living in an apt, wife would wrap up the blender in a towel to minimize the noise for the neighbors upstairs.  We’re up at 4am on workdays. 

This handsome, dashing young soldier was so good looking to the Army that they used him on a 1942 recruiting poster.    He served in the U.S. Army from 1942-45 as a supply Master Sergeant.  

john-banner-recruiting-poster-auw-699-ct

You eventually came to know him as (guess first):

Spoiler

225px-John_Banner_as_Schultz.jpg

 

Two random videos, one on the quaint environment of Pullman Washington & WSU/ the other in the massive hypocrisy in the entertainment genre of hip-hop at the moment:

 

Saw an application today from a girl whose first name is "Kandee". Parents, this is not how you help your children in life.

1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

Saw an application today from a girl whose first name is "Kandee". Parents, this is not how you help your children in life.

You work at a strip club?

1 minute ago, Cheeseweasel said:

You work at a strip club?

I wouldn't say I *work* at one, Bob.

Is FChorn going to start game threads? We’re about to embark on a college football season and the shag is slipping.

My friend met a girl at a strip club yesterday. Her stage name was Amber. He got her number, turns out her real name was Savannah. He told me she was in college and seemed to really have her shit together.
 


We all say that until we’re tired of her shit.



We’re up at 4am on workdays. 


You brought me my newspaper late yesterday.

Lupe Tortilla is the Chile’s of Mexican Food. 

Thank you for your service to this nation, you will be missed..! #AmericanHero

 

I was at Hooters yesterday and they were doing a car wash. I need my truck washed because picking up customers from the airport tomorrow, but inside done as well.

Got me to thinking, what a great idea to have a car wash with a bar and grill. So googled and and sunnuvabitch if there isn't one south of Houston.

People are so fucking rude and inconsiderate.  Like when posters speak of going to a car wash at Hooters and then don't post pics.  Unacceptable.

People are so fucking rude and inconsiderate.  Like when posters speak of going to a car wash at Hooters and then don't post pics.  Unacceptable.

If he was in TXK, you most likely don’t want Picts.

He might not get his own thread on Music & TV, but Neil Simon passed away today.  My father and uncles loved his plays/writing.  Odd Couple, Out-of-Towners, Brighton Beach Memoirs, Biloxi Blues (one of my dad's all-time favorites as it mirrors and matches his exact timeframe in the service), and finishing up with a childhood favorite of mine-Max Dugan Returns.  

RIP Neil.  What a wonderful scribe of the working-class American experience.  

I overheard a guy talking about how he and his wife threw a surprise party for their kid's first birthday.  Isn't every first birthday party a surprise for the kid?

Why didn't Milton just go to the back of the line/room when it was time for birthday cake in Office Space?  He should have known from previous history he wasn't going to get a piece standing at the front of the room.

18 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Did they send the kid down to the bar to have a drink while all their friends came over and hid behind the couch?

They just made him take a nap. 

I don't understand the association between soul food and spice.  I've eaten it a lot of places and never had anything remotely spicy. It was mostly just salt and fat.  

 

The guy who invented the large sideways roll of toilet paper can go fuck himself.

1 hour ago, Noah Fence said:

The guy who invented the large sideways roll of toilet paper can go fuck himself.

Sounds like you are wiping your ass with a roll of paper towels. 

No he is sitting in the restaurant shitter.

1 hour ago, fluff said:

No he is sitting in the restaurant shitter.

Office but same thing

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