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24 minutes ago, MirrOlure said:

Is the dude that Carly Simon sings about really so vain because he thinks the song is about him, when the song actually IS about him?

Whoosh!

It was about Warren Beatty. You totally missed the point. 

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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3 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Whoosh!

It was about Warren Beatty. You totally missed the point. 

Well.  Now I know.  Thank you.

On 6/22/2022 at 4:44 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

This. Reverse searing a ribeye on sale from Kroger for $7 a pound taste alot better than what you're going to get at any chain -type steak house.

$7/lb?  I call shenanigans on that shit...

On 6/23/2022 at 7:24 AM, 52-80 said:

how much CO2 will be pumped out from your operating a vehicle.  whether it's CO2 emitted directly from the car when burning petrol, or CO2 emitted at the power plant generating electricity for the electric car.

 

if you are comparing 1 combustion car vs another, there is a direct inverse linear relationship between CO2 emissions and fuel efficiency (8900g CO2/gallon).  If 1 car is twice as efficient, it will output half as much CO2.

Look at the big brain on Brad.

Wife worked late tonight.  She’s a part of a group chat consisting of my daughter’s classmates parents.    Pool party.   I show up and for the first hour I’m the only male parent.  

7 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Wife worked late tonight.  She’s a part of a group chat consisting of my daughter’s classmates parents.    Pool party.   I show up and for the first hour I’m the only male parent.  

Pool party with the neighborhood moms and no pics? Very poor form, sir. 

I know this is probably quite typical, but since giving my two weeks notice my “give a shit” index is exceptionally low.

When I was really young, like 5 or 6, I thought that the people who died in movies or on TV were people who had been sentenced to death, and that was how they were executed.  Shot, drowned, dragged by horses, you name it.  I thought that the dude who was run over by the chariot in Ben Hur must have done something truly horrible to die that way.  Of course, I learned better as I aged.

Now I wonder which of my uncles gave me the idea.

Had a McFlurry for the first time in probably 12 or 13 years last night. I actually don’t hate McDonald’s but that shit sucked. Even for being $3.25 or whatever.

I got a message from Verizon wireless telling me my bill is past due. The amount that is past due? $0.00. 

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I got a message from Verizon wireless telling me my bill is past due. The amount that is past due? $0.00. 

We fixed the glitch.

I’ve been negligent in forgetting to pay them nothing for 30 days.

It raises the question, though. What would happen if I tried accessing their automated payment system and made a payment of $0.00? I don’t have the time but that would be an interesting experiment. 

Edited by WhatTheBuck

15 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I’ve been negligent in forgetting to pay them nothing for 30 days.

It raises the question, though. What would happen if I tried accessing their automated payment system and made a payment of $0.00? I don’t have the time but that would be an interesting experiment. 

I believe you'd be dividing by zero and the universe would implode upon itself.

So, give it a try.

1 minute ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I believe you'd be dividing by zero and the universe would implode upon itself.

So, give it a try.

Might be worth it.

Fixed a pool leak in September. Have not added a single drop to it since (Jax gets a lot of rain) and was quite proud of my streak.

Pool guy left a note this morning telling me I needed to add water, so from 11an to 1pm I added about 2”. At 2pm, the skies opened up. By 5pm it was done and my pool is so full I’ll need to drain it tomorrow. Totally deflated

Is it possible to have diarrhea and be constipated at the same time? Asking for a friend...

38 minutes ago, Lurch said:

Fixed a pool leak in September. Have not added a single drop to it since (Jax gets a lot of rain) and was quite proud of my streak.

Pool guy left a note this morning telling me I needed to add water, so from 11an to 1pm I added about 2”. At 2pm, the skies opened up. By 5pm it was done and my pool is so full I’ll need to drain it tomorrow. Totally deflated

Lol. What does 2" set you back? 

6 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Lol. What does 2" set you back? 

If you’re not careful, 18 years of child support.  

Lol. What does 2" set you back? 

It’s not the $, it’s the STREAK. I blew the streak for nothing

If you have external stickers on your windshield you are a massive douchebag.

Im reading on the wiki of the kim jong nam assassination in asia by nerve agent vx, the deadliest of all nerve agents. 
 

its described as odorless and tasteless. 
 

question: how the fuck would someone know that?

16 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Is it possible to have diarrhea and be constipated at the same time? Asking for a friend...

Wendy's chili oil sauce. 

3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Im reading on the wiki of the kim jong nam assassination in asia by nerve agent vx, the deadliest of all nerve agents. 
 

its described as odorless and tasteless. 
 

question: how the fuck would someone know that?

Focus groups? 

https://museumvirtualtour.org/


I spent about 6 hours looking at every exhibit and man what a fucking fantastic use of technology in education. I wish this was more popular as I'd gladly pay a monthly subscription for a company creating 100 of these things.

Went to the Louvre a few weeks ago. I’d always heard the jokes about the Mona Lisa being postage stamp sized. It’s actually the size I’d expect a portrait to be, almost 3’x2’. Every other damn painting in that place is at least 10’ tall and 6’ wide. Dozens are the size of a living room. I wonder what the logistics were for painting a canvas that size.

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

Went to the Louvre a few weeks ago. I’d always heard the jokes about the Mona Lisa being postage stamp sized. It’s actually the size I’d expect a portrait to be, almost 3’x2’. Every other damn painting in that place is at least 10’ tall and 6’ wide. Dozens are the size of a living room. I wonder what the logistics were for painting a canvas that size.

I am assuming that things have not changed from when I visited the Louvre several years ago and to see the Mona Lisa one had to make his or her way through a mob of Asian tourists.

Also, wasn't it just a few weeks ago that someone rolled up to the Mona Lisa in a wheelchair and smeared cake all over the glass shield protecting the painting?  I am not accusing anyone of anything, but the timing of your visit make me suspicious...

7 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Im reading on the wiki of the kim jong nam assassination in asia by nerve agent vx, the deadliest of all nerve agents. 
 

its described as odorless and tasteless. 
 

question: how the fuck would someone know that?

Maybe it's like iocane powder and one can build up immunity?

On 6/28/2022 at 8:29 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

Whoosh!

It was about Warren Beatty. You totally missed the point. 

Well, one of three. Warren being the only one she named publicly.

13 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Im reading on the wiki of the kim jong nam assassination in asia by nerve agent vx, the deadliest of all nerve agents. 
 

its described as odorless and tasteless. 
 

question: how the fuck would someone know that?

The Wire Reaction GIF

6 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Maybe it's like iocane powder and one can build up immunity?

microdosing poisonous nerve agents is the new mdma

I am assuming that things have not changed from when I visited the Louvre several years ago and to see the Mona Lisa one had to make his or her way through a mob of Asian tourists.
Also, wasn't it just a few weeks ago that someone rolled up to the Mona Lisa in a wheelchair and smeared cake all over the glass shield protecting the painting?  I am not accusing anyone of anything, but the timing of your visit make me suspicious...

I will say the whole time I was there, I was certain I could sneak in a ceramic knife and destroy $50 million of art in 60 seconds.

How many people would have sex in a “spooning” position while their kids are playing on their iPads on the other bed (in a hotel room)?

31 minutes ago, Superhero said:

How many people would have sex in a “spooning” position while their kids are playing on their iPads on the other bed (in a hotel room)?

There's an invention so you don't have to be discrete: 

 

Why don’t stoplights automatically reset after they’re knocked out in a storm? If they can flash red, they’re not missing power. It seems they just need the program to restart

Because Of my gas, my has suggested that maybe I should just sleep on the couch. Honestly, I can’t really argue with at that. This is some weapons grade stuff I am working with. Happy 4th.

After I die, I want them to put my body in the path of the treads of the giant crawler that moves rockets at the Kennedy Space Center.

Because Of my gas, my has suggested that maybe I should just sleep on the couch. Honestly, I can’t really argue with at that. This is some weapons grade stuff I am working with. Happy 4th.

We always had the rule that says the sick person gets to stay in regular bed. Well person has to go elsewhere if they choose.

You clearly are the sick one. Just sayin.
On 7/1/2022 at 6:47 PM, closetohumping said:

I like the wings at hooters.  The breaded ones

Same. But explaining to your wife that you eat at Hooter's for the wings is like saying your read Playboy for the articles. 

On 7/1/2022 at 6:47 PM, closetohumping said:

I like the wings at hooters.  The breaded ones

Naked Daytona style or gtfo.

Edited by ScottS

1 hour ago, ScottS said:

Naked Daytona style or gtfo.

I'm not sure what that means, but I'm aroused at the thought. 

I honestly have no idea how to properly use the reaction "Fuck Around and Find Out"

I really like your post and think others would be wrong to disagree? FAFO.

I hate this post and can't believe you would say that? FAFO.

The subject of your post suffered instant karma? FAFO. (Most clear)

Maybe it's more that I want to find as many ways to use it.

1 hour ago, jeevsie said:

I honestly have no idea how to properly use the reaction "Fuck Around and Find Out"

I really like your post and think others would be wrong to disagree? FAFO.

I hate this post and can't believe you would say that? FAFO.

The subject of your post suffered instant karma? FAFO. (Most clear)

Maybe it's more that I want to find as many ways to use it.

Same note, is the middle finger neg rep?

4 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Same note, is the middle finger neg rep?

It’s the only neg rep. Rage is a +1. 

6 hours ago, jeevsie said:

I honestly have no idea how to properly use the reaction "Fuck Around and Find Out"

I really like your post and think others would be wrong to disagree? FAFO.

I hate this post and can't believe you would say that? FAFO.

The subject of your post suffered instant karma? FAFO. (Most clear)

Maybe it's more that I want to find as many ways to use it.

You should casually explore your various options and eventually arrive at a meaningful conclusion. 

6 hours ago, jeevsie said:

I honestly have no idea how to properly use the reaction "Fuck Around and Find Out"

I really like your post and think others would be wrong to disagree? FAFO.

I hate this post and can't believe you would say that? FAFO.

The subject of your post suffered instant karma? FAFO. (Most clear)

Maybe it's more that I want to find as many ways to use it.

image.gif.3cd1433c53aaa2a26371c3701de7bdc0.gif

I saw an interview with Melanie Lynskey. I’ve liked her in the various roles I’ve seen her play. I never realized that she is a New Zealander. That was the first time I heard her speak in her natural accent. 

People who say cilantro tastes like soap are fucking with us. They meet every year and share stories about how they got people to believe them and they just laugh and laugh and laugh at their antics. I see no other plausible explanation.

there is nothing that causes a mess in the kitchen quite like cooking chorizo.  splatter everywhere. 

3 hours ago, 'stache said:

People who say cilantro tastes like soap are fucking with us. They meet every year and share stories about how they got people to believe them and they just laugh and laugh and laugh at their antics. I see no other plausible explanation.

Do you not think that it does?  

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