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2 hours ago, 52-80 said:

why did ellie goulding break through instead of the 1000 other ones?

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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just thinking about how jim abbott was one of the best players in baseball with 1 fuckng arm

2 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

just thinking about how jim abbott was one of the best players in baseball with 1 fuckng arm

As a kid, it was "oh yeah, Jim Abbott. That guys that plays for the Angles and has one arm."

As an adult, it's "holy shit, that guy had one arm and played MLB."

7 hours ago, 52-80 said:

 

same thing for female pop vocalists.  there's a thousand of them who all look and sound the same.  on all the modern DJ x Vocalist electropop songs theres some young twee singer on it, and they might as well be interchangeable.  why did ellie goulding break through instead of the 1000 other ones?

 

I think this phenomenon is akin to how moguls eventually form on a ski slope - just the law of averages that a certain number will eventually emerge after adequate agitation of the natural state of things. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

8 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Everytime I take my dog to the groomer they just shave his entire body.  It's like I'm not even sure this is my dog. 

Why do you keep taking him to that groomer?

8 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

As a kid, it was "oh yeah, Jim Abbott. That guys that plays for the Angles and has one arm."

As an adult, it's "holy shit, that guy had one arm and played MLB."

He also played QB in high school, which is an even bigger mystery. 
 

how?

5 hours ago, Kilgorehorn said:

Why do you keep taking him to that groomer?

He likes the drag show that comes for free 

15 hours ago, 52-80 said:

He also played QB in high school, which is an even bigger mystery. 
 

how?

He had a great arm, nubbin wrong with that!

it seems 90% of my dreams of recurring themes/locations, and the one i get most often -- maybe even once a week--  is the slow-running handicap thing.  its so goddamn frustrating

23 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

it seems 90% of my dreams of recurring themes/locations, and the one i get most often -- maybe even once a week--  is the slow-running handicap thing.  its so goddamn frustrating

Is this a shot at @SHOOTER12?

Theres some unspoken law of nature that if you name your child Mike Williams, he turns into a Wide Receiver

Since there’s not really any Longhorn sports  going on I’m taking my daughter and her friend to see the traveling Broadway show of Frozen.  We both love musical theater almost as much as Longhorn baseball. Well not almost, but we do love musical theater.

 

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It was a very nice funeral service for my grandson today.

HR didn’t appreciate me asking if the sexual harassment training was hands on.  

Our HR didn't appreciate me expressing my relief that the discipline training didn't include whips, chains, gags, handcuffs, etc.  With the women in HR, you never know.

There was no such thing as workplace “sensitivity” training in the 1960s….. except do your damn job.

21 hours ago, Armybrat said:

It was a very nice funeral service for my grandson today.

So sorry for you and your family, Brat. 

Few days late to the bacon cookin' rigamarole, but I just cook it on the gas grill in a foil pan.  Stack of 30 pans at Costco is like $8.00.  

Interesting gunfight. It is about a Arizona Ranger named Wheeler. 

Lieutenant Wheeler was in Benson, north of Tombstone, when he engaged in one of the great mano a mano duels in Western history. On February 28, 1907, Wheeler was made aware of a life-endangering love triangle. En route to town by train, a newly arrived couple at Benson’s Virginia Hotel had sighted the woman’s former sweetheart, J.A. Tracy. The jilted lover had pursued the couple to Benson, arriving on a night train. Presenting Lieutenant Wheeler a photograph of Tracy, the couple appealed to the Ranger for help. Wheeler left the hotel and crossed to the depot. He found Tracy sitting on the steps of a dining car, but as the Ranger approached, the man’s former lover emerged from the hotel with her new beau. Tracy jumped up cursing and pulled a revolver from his pocket. “Hold on there!” barked Wheeler. “I arrest you. Give me that gun.”
A furious pistol duel ensued. Wheeler advanced relentlessly, firing methodically and ordering his quarry to surrender. Tracy’s third shot wounded Wheeler in the upper left thigh near the groin, but the Ranger drilled him four times, in the stomach, neck, arm and chest. Tracy tumbled onto his back. “I am all in,” he gasped. “My gun is empty.” Wheeler dropped his Colt, having fired his five rounds (many Westerners carried only “five beans in the wheel,” leaving the hammer at rest over an empty chamber for safety). The wounded officer limped forward to secure his prisoner. But Tracy had two bullets left and more cartridges in a pocket. He treacherously opened fire again, striking Wheeler in the left heel. The fearless Ranger began hurling rocks at the downed man, whose revolver finally clicked on an empty cylinder. “I am all in,” Tracy repeated. “My gun is empty.” But Tracy still refused to surrender his gun to Wheeler.

Men in the gathering crowd threatened the gunman, but the bleeding Wheeler managed to calm onlookers and disarm Tracy. Someone brought a chair for the wounded Ranger. “Give it to him,” said Wheeler, gesturing to Tracy. “He needs it more than I do.” Wheeler turned over Tracy to a Benson peace officer, then extended his right hand to the wounded man. “Well,” said Wheeler, “it was a great fight while it lasted, wasn’t it, old man?” “I’ll get you yet,” muttered Tracy with a hint of a smile.
The two men shook hands. Wheeler then retrieved his revolver and limped away to seek a physician. Authorities decided to send the grievously wounded Tracy to a hospital in Tucson and placed him on a cot in the baggage car. The train had not gone 10 miles down the tracks before he breathed his last. Wheeler later learned that J.A. Tracy had been wanted for two separate murders in Nevada, with a $500 reward on his head. One of his victims was the brother of former Ranger Dick Hickey. Nevada officials offered Wheeler the reward, but he promptly turned it down. Wheeler would have no part of blood money, instead urging that the $500 be given to the widowed Mrs. Hickey.

11 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Ranger Dick HIckey. Damn. I'll bet the other Rangers made fun of him.

Wouldn't let him join in any Rangers games.

Dick Hickey.  What a way to let the world know that your wife really can suck a golf ball up a garden hose.  Between that and the reward, widow Hickey must have been popular with the gentlemen.

I always thought laser tag was an underrated first date activity

You’ve done this? More than once?
9 hours ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

The super clever Twitter trend of “tell me you [some inadequacy] without telling me you [that inadequacy]” is the worst.  

Tell me you post on Surly without telling me you post on Surly.

31 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Tell me you post on Surly without telling me you post on Surly.

"vince young was robbed of his nfl career"

My wife and I have been together for coming up on 16 years, and sometimes I still can't let it go that she was with other guys before me.

I know it's immature, especially since she doesn't give a shit about how many people I slept with before we got together.

Maybe it's because we went through a lot of missed opportunities, and a whole lot of emotional drama before we finally got together, but I need to left it fucking go.

6 hours ago, Superhero said:

My wife and I have been together for coming up on 16 years, and sometimes I still can't let it go that she was with other guys before me.

I know it's immature, especially since she doesn't give a shit about how many people I slept with before we got together.

Maybe it's because we went through a lot of missed opportunities, and a whole lot of emotional drama before we finally got together, but I need to left it fucking go.

Damn, man…that’s fucked up. 

My wife and I have been together for coming up on 16 years, and sometimes I still can't let it go that she was with other guys before me.
I know it's immature, especially since she doesn't give a shit about how many people I slept with before we got together.
Maybe it's because we went through a lot of missed opportunities, and a whole lot of emotional drama before we finally got together, but I need to left it fucking go.

Would it make you feel better if you found out that she was also banging other guys AFTER y’all got together? Because I’ve got something to tell you….
Few days late to the bacon cookin' rigamarole, but I just cook it on the gas grill in a foil pan.  Stack of 30 pans at Costco is like $8.00.  
Solid strategy, no mess, it's a bit like camping and the neighbors get jealous.
23 hours ago, Superhero said:

My wife and I have been together for coming up on 16 years, and sometimes I still can't let it go that she was with other guys before me.

I know it's immature, especially since she doesn't give a shit about how many people I slept with before we got together.

Maybe it's because we went through a lot of missed opportunities, and a whole lot of emotional drama before we finally got together, but I need to left it fucking go.

Double edged sword. Yes, some other guy was glazing your wife’s lips with his cum before she ever met you, the same lips that now kiss you & your kids goodnight. But how else was she ever going to develop the skills that made her an attractive lover to you? Part of you should be thanking the guys that used to rail her.

Don’t ever take another person’s phone to scroll through something. You know how you use your phone while on the toilet and for other “personal” reasons?  Do you ever wash your phone after that? Yeah, neither do they. 

Don’t ever take another person’s phone to scroll through something. You know how you use your phone while on the toilet and for other “personal” reasons?  Do you ever wash your phone after that? Yeah, neither do they. 

Other guitarist in our sometimes band. Suffice it to say he’s an odd duck, but hell of a player.

One day a while back I sent him a link of something to check out. He was having trouble pulling it up (cuz he doesn’t do phones and tech so well) and he handed it to me to figure out. It wasn’t pulling up because he was maxed out on open browser windows on his whatever Android phone. And every single one of them was exactly what you think they were.

I just handed it back and said weird, I don’t know man.

no matter when you are reading this, there is some chick on the chaturbate front page putting something in her ass. 

17 hours ago, Helobious said:

Double edged sword. Yes, some other guy was glazing your wife’s lips with his cum before she ever met you, the same lips that now kiss you & your kids goodnight. But how else was she ever going to develop the skills that made her an attractive lover to you? Part of you should be thanking the guys that used to rail her.

To follow up with what Helobious elegantly said ...  you're welcome!

12 hours ago, elfenix said:

no matter when you are reading this, there is some chick on the chaturbate front page putting something in her ass. 

I'll take your word for it, but I also think about this with gambling in Las Vegas. No matter the time, there are people laying their money down.

On 7/18/2022 at 3:48 PM, Superhero said:

My wife and I have been together for coming up on 16 years, and sometimes I still can't let it go that she was with other guys before me.

I know it's immature, especially since she doesn't give a shit about how many people I slept with before we got together.

Maybe it's because we went through a lot of missed opportunities, and a whole lot of emotional drama before we finally got together, but I need to left it fucking go.

You should bring that up and see what happens.

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13 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

I'll take your word for it, but I also think about this with gambling in Las Vegas. No matter the time, there are people laying their money down.


The research they put into behavioral analysis to tweak people to keep putting money in is insane.

 

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