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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Posted Images

24 minutes ago, Underdog said:

A tie should suffice… 

image.jpeg.9c34ea5c27cd2d069797388259453505.jpeg

 

Don't tell him what will suffice, he sold raincoats in the garment district for 35 years! 

(sidenote-Morty must have done really well.  no mention of college or military so goes into sales at 18, retires at 53 to a pretty nice condo in Florida...not bad)

I have no idea who Bad Bunny is, but his Alamodome appearance warrants the lead news story tonight. Impressive.

8 hours ago, Underdog said:

A tie should suffice… 

image.jpeg.9c34ea5c27cd2d069797388259453505.jpeg

 

banker-gunsout.gif

Nyquil is vile substance and I don't understand how the liquid still exists if they make it in pill form.

Nyquil is vile substance and I don't understand how the liquid still exists if they make it in pill form.

Liquid is faster, more effective and has alcohol.

And if you need it, you won’t really care. 
 

Cherry still sucks, but better than original. 

18 minutes ago, jeevsie said:

Nyquil is vile substance and I don't understand how the liquid still exists if they make it in pill form.

Do you even lean in, bro?  

17 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

And if you need it, you won’t really care. 

Nyquil: "You're still sick as fuck, you just don't care because you are sleeping through it."

Am I the only one who refuses to click on the "Click here if you want to see boobs" thread when they see that the last post was by @Your Mom?  Just kills my desire to see boobs.

Aw, who am I kidding?  I click anyway.  I always want to see boobs, and I know that it isn't really my mom.

Edited by Scheiss Meister

5 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Am I the only one who refuses to click on the "Click here if you want to see boobs" thread when they see that the last post was by @Your Mom?  Just kills my desire to see boobs.

Aw, who am I kidding?  I click anyway.  I always want to see boobs, and I know that it isn't really my mom.

giphy.gif

the Emmys are so much more efficient, on time and better run than the Oscars despite it still being full of actors and their giant egos. my theory is bc everyone there is more used to TV timing and pacing.

9 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Am I the only one who refuses to click on the "Click here if you want to see boobs" thread

Like there needs to be a dedicated thread for that. 

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania

 

14 hours ago, Underdog said:

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania

 

Jim Carrey Ok GIF

80s Jams I’ll never tire of listening too… 

I Ran 

I’ll Melt With You

Cars

Don't You Forget About Me / Alive and Kicking

Mexican Radio

Red Skies

 


I Ran 

 


Space Age Love Song is their better tune, but it gets no love for some reason.
11 hours ago, tbone_ said:

 


Space Age Love Song is their better tune, but it gets no love for some reason.

 

Oh yeah? Don’t sleep on Modern Love is Automatic.

20 hours ago, Underdog said:

80s Jams I’ll never tire of listening too… 

I Ran 

I’ll Melt With You

Cars

Don't You Forget About Me / Alive and Kicking

Mexican Radio

Red Skies

 

St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) genuinely delights me when it comes on to radio. 

So Houston has a franchise in the NWSL named Dash...  think they missed a real golden opportunity there.

I wonder how many posters here understand the Seinfeld and Monty Python references. 

I wonder how many posters here understand the Seinfeld and Monty Python references. 

I’ve got to think it’s pretty high. I’d guess our biggest demo is 40-50 year olds
1 hour ago, Superhero said:

I wonder how many posters here understand the Seinfeld and Monty Python references. 

I never thought Monty Python was funny.

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

I wonder how many posters here understand the Seinfeld and Monty Python references. 

If I make a terse Seinfeld reference or quote, I get shit.  If I make a long-winded post, I get shit.  My posts are overall so much shorter than before and with less Seinfeldian humor baked in.  And who do you all have to thank for that?  You guessed it.  Frank Stallone.  ;)

But yeah, I have to admit after all these years...I find Monty Python funny but not anywhere near to the degree that many on here do.  However, there is something to be admired by the staying power of it, it's just as much of a cult classic now as it was when I was in high school.  

19 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

I never thought Monty Python was funny.

Nudge Nudge GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

if you took the cross section of my urine at increasing distances from origin you’d get something like this:
 

FortunateLastingIguanodon-size_restricte

Maybe a full half rotation before the integrity breaks up.  The physics of it is baffling. 

On 9/18/2022 at 1:07 PM, FirstTimeCaller said:

I never thought Monty Python was funny.

You should probably keep that to yourself. 

I was trying to remember which comedian it was who I saw do this bit. It didn’t take long to find. Of course it was Brian Regan. And that was one of the very best episodes of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

 

while i've been living in Colorado for the past three months Thundercloud added The Ladybird sandwich to their menu and it is gotdamn glorious 🤘

12 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

I used to think flying cars would solve all of our transportation problems.  Now I realize it would be the end of civilization.

Fuck me. Two dimensions are difficult enough for my wife to navigate. 

  • Popular Post

My wife likes "Murder She Wrote".  This little bit got me on her bad side:

You know that chick on "Murder She Wrote"?  She killed every one of those dudes, every week.  I'm supposed to buy the idea that every week she, a murder writer, just stumbles upon a new murder and has to solve the case?   It was her all the time.  No way.  She was a friggin' mass murderer.

Boss has been MIA all week.

Having a call tomorrow morning with her boss.

Thanks for playing...

Feels weird. Glad things are going to change, either way.

My wife likes "Murder She Wrote".  This little bit got me on her bad side:
You know that chick on "Murder She Wrote"?  She killed every one of those dudes, every week.  I'm supposed to buy the idea that every week she, a murder writer, just stumbles upon a new murder and has to solve the case?   It was her all the time.  No way.  She was a friggin' mass murderer.

Thank you. I was saying that to my parents 30+ years ago. If that bitch shows up to your town, run. Somebody about to die.

imma hide this in here heh...

we are visiting Texas for a couple weeks, tying up some loose ends...and i had a few hours to kill yesterday.

i had a 30+ year old crappy little ladybug tattoo on my shoulder that i got as a drunk UT student on 6th, it basically looked like a black blob nowadays. id been thinking for a while about covering it...was driving past Atomic and just went with my impulse...

it's only a day old so still a little messy...but i am so happy with it!! 🧡🤘

my last Austin tattoo to cover my first Austin tattoo! (i mean i only have one other postage size one lol).

20220923_092607.jpg

Edited by mchookem

On 9/20/2022 at 5:49 PM, Texas Jeff said:

My wife likes "Murder She Wrote".  This little bit got me on her bad side:

You know that chick on "Murder She Wrote"?  She killed every one of those dudes, every week.  I'm supposed to buy the idea that every week she, a murder writer, just stumbles upon a new murder and has to solve the case?   It was her all the time.  No way.  She was a friggin' mass murderer.


And not like that bitch was showing up in Chicago, Philly, LA, etc. 

I dont know who pat mcaffee is or is supposed to be, but i always see his name on video thumbnails with a buzzcut and a tanktop and he looks like a douchebag. 

that about correct?

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

I dont know who pat mcaffee is or is supposed to be, but i always see his name on video thumbnails with a buzzcut and a tanktop and he looks like a douchebag. 

that about correct?

yes.  douche

On 9/18/2022 at 1:07 PM, FirstTimeCaller said:

I never thought Monty Python was funny.

Unpopular opinions =========>>>

6 hours ago, 52-80 said:

I dont know who pat mcaffee is or is supposed to be, but i always see his name on video thumbnails with a buzzcut and a tanktop and he looks like a douchebag. 

that about correct?

Former NFL punter turned podcast host. He’s way better than virtually all the major media talking heads when it comes to talking about football.

I had a parent teacher conference, and according to test results, my 2nd grader’s math and reading are at a 4th grade level.

She wants to put him in advanced learning program which I fully support because Asian tiger dad and such. 

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