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With school bus driver shortages all across the country, Tom Hanks should apply for one.  

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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If you are around 45 to 50, create a station on pandora or Spotify Chicago radio. Awesomeness.

On 10/2/2022 at 5:12 PM, Underdog said:

With school bus driver shortages all across the country, Tom Hanks should apply for one.  

Tom Hanks Fancy GIF

On 9/25/2022 at 3:13 PM, TKthunder2 said:

Fonzie waterskiing in a leather jacket and jumping over a shark has become widely used in US vernacular about television series, but it’s very commonly used incorrectly. “Jumping the shark” equals a moment/episode so awesome nothing the show can do will ever top it.

The way most people use “jumping the shark” is implying that it the Fonzie waterskiing was a collective eye roll/groan moment from the American public where most people saw it and said this is stupid and stopped watching Happy Days, when in fact jumping the shark was the absolute peak of the show and Fonzie’s coolness.

Shows that are never that great shouldn’t be said to have jumped the shark. Limited series or shows that go off air at the peak of their popularity (like Seinfeld) also never jump the shark. The best example currently is (although not a TV show) likely the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Phase 3 ended with Avengers Endgame (and Spider-Man Far From Home). Endgame was so popular and the build up and payoff (despite what the resident critics here think) was so satisfying to the public that almost everything in Phase 4 that has come after has been a disappointment outside of Spider-Man No Way Home (which is really a culmination of the 8 previous Sony Spider-Man movies despite Dr Strange’s involvement).

If Marvel never figures out how to put together another worldwide, universally acclaimed ensemble movie like Endgame ever again then that would be their jumping the shark, not Thor 4, She Hulk, or the Eternals.

 

While it's true that the shark jumping episode had wide viewership, and the show continued to draw in enough viewers to avoid cancellation until 1984, Happy Days is the impetus for the creation of the "jumping the shark" phrase for more than just the obvious reason.  If you ever saw the first season, it was an earnest show about coming of age in the 50's, shot on single camera and taking itself fairly seriously. It was tonally very similar to The Andy Griffith Show or even Leave it to Beaver. That season got pretty good ratings, but in season two the show plummeted. So Garry Marshall sold his soul and turned it into a gimmicky nonsense show shot in multicam.  The shark jumping episode was in season three when they were still desperate for a stunt to get some press and draw in more viewers.  The phrase "jumping the shark" still very much means the moment when a show gets desperate and tries some kind of stunt (whether literally, through casting, or otherwise) in order to get a bump in viewers for a once popular show.  It absolutely does not describe the moment a series peaks, and it never did.  The guy who coined the phrase, Jon Hein, intended it to mean exactly what most people think it means. 

Hein first used the phrase in 1985, not long after Happy Days ended, and was pointing to the moment as exactly what it was, a pathetic ploy to appeal to the lowest common denominator (the entire episode is about the gang going to California - travel episodes are one of the oldest gimmicks in the book) and increase ratings.  After season one, you could argue that entire show was jumping the shark every week, even before they literally did so.  They employed gimmicks, bad jokes, and writing so dumb a four year old could follow along for a reason.  It worked.  The show didn't remotely peak in season 3, not in ratings and certainly not in quality.

Shows like Seinfeld never jumped the shark because they never had to, or never chose to, pull such stunts to chase ratings. Seinfeld did take a season to find its voice and pacing, but once it locked in it never compromised. 

I don't know what to say about the Marvel stuff.  Hard to jump the shark when that's your baseline.

I take my kid to track practice a few evenings per week. I use the hour to walk 8-10 laps to burn some calories.

I can safely say 100% of the other parents range from fat to obese. They spend the hour leaning on the fence watching their sons and daughters run while they themselves probably couldn’t walk 400 meters without getting winded. 

8 hours ago, Superhero said:

I take my kid to track practice a few evenings per week. I use the hour to walk 8-10 laps to burn some calories.

I can safely say 100% of the other parents range from fat to obese. They spend the hour leaning on the fence watching their sons and daughters run while they themselves probably couldn’t walk 400 meters without getting winded. 

You live in California?  Kind of a surprise.  Most of the fellow olds around me are in decent shape. 

Usernames and alternatives for new users, or sock.

Chili dog - Tastee Freeze, Jack and Diane

Don’t mean to pick on Chili dog, but almost every dam time I see that user name, the ear worm starts playing in my head.

I’m sure there are more usernames that trip songs for others here.

17 minutes ago, General Specific said:

Usernames and alternatives for new users, or sock.

Chili dog - Tastee Freeze, Jack and Diane

Don’t mean to pick on Chili dog, but almost every dam time I see that user name, the ear worm starts playing in my head.

I’m sure there are more usernames that trip songs for others here.

What we have here is a failure to communicate. Some men you just can’t reach. 

What we have here is a failure to communicate. Some men you just can’t reach. 

Hey now, it’s random thoughts. Not well thought out, and clearly communicated thread. That’s nowhere on this site. Thank goodness.

Having said that, it’s about a username that trips a memory, a song, in this case. Chili dogs username trips John Cougar Melencamps Jack and Diane in my head. Every. Single. Time. LOL
2 hours ago, General Specific said:

Usernames and alternatives for new users, or sock.

Chili dog - Tastee Freeze, Jack and Diane

Don’t mean to pick on Chili dog, but almost every dam time I see that user name, the ear worm starts playing in my head.

I’m sure there are more usernames that trip songs for others here.

Great YT video or greatest YT video?
 

 

 
While it's true that the shark jumping episode had wide viewership, and the show continued to draw in enough viewers to avoid cancellation until 1984, Happy Days is the impetus for the creation of the "jumping the shark" phrase for more than just the obvious reason.  If you ever saw the first season, it was an earnest show about coming of age in the 50's, shot on single camera and taking itself fairly seriously. It was tonally very similar to The Andy Griffith Show or even Leave it to Beaver. That season got pretty good ratings, but in season two the show plummeted. So Garry Marshall sold his soul and turned it into a gimmicky nonsense show shot in multicam.  The shark jumping episode was in season three when they were still desperate for a stunt to get some press and draw in more viewers.  The phrase "jumping the shark" still very much means the moment when a show gets desperate and tries some kind of stunt (whether literally, through casting, or otherwise) in order to get a bump in viewers for a once popular show.  It absolutely does not describe the moment a series peaks, and it never did.  The guy who coined the phrase, Jon Hein, intended it to mean exactly what most people think it means. 
Hein first used the phrase in 1985, not long after Happy Days ended, and was pointing to the moment as exactly what it was, a pathetic ploy to appeal to the lowest common denominator (the entire episode is about the gang going to California - travel episodes are one of the oldest gimmicks in the book) and increase ratings.  After season one, you could argue that entire show was jumping the shark every week, even before they literally did so.  They employed gimmicks, bad jokes, and writing so dumb a four year old could follow along for a reason.  It worked.  The show didn't remotely peak in season 3, not in ratings and certainly not in quality.
Shows like Seinfeld never jumped the shark because they never had to, or never chose to, pull such stunts to chase ratings. Seinfeld did take a season to find its voice and pacing, but once it locked in it never compromised. 
I don't know what to say about the Marvel stuff.  Hard to jump the shark when that's your baseline.

Whatever. Anyone who bangs the Hooper triplets on the reg is cool in my book.

Speaking of banging - this is the grave of Big Nose Kate, girlfriend of Doc Holliday when he was in Tombstone.

 

 

0F671524-637B-4000-BE7D-481E54D2657A.jpeg

Edited by Armybrat

25 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Speaking of banging - this is the grave of Big Nose Kate, girlfriend of Doc Holliday when he was in Tombstone.

A classmate of yours?

We really are lacking in the nickname department these days

We really are lacking in the nickname department these days

I agree, Koko
9 hours ago, tbone_ said:

We really are lacking in the nickname department these days

New nickname?

there should be a way to screen for media content where you find someone with really shitty tastes, and then get recommendations based on everything that's the opposite of that.

 

kinda like "oh, you think The Last Jedi was a great movie?  show me everything you hate and i'll watch those instead"

55 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

there should be a way to screen for media content where you find someone with really shitty tastes, and then get recommendations based on everything that's the opposite of that.

kinda like "oh, you think The Last Jedi was a great movie?  show me everything you hate and i'll watch those instead"

That's a great idea. Like a faceback app that lets you see the person's face based on the back of their head.

Tracking an Amazon order, why does it take five and a half hours to drive from Kyle to Buda?

35 minutes ago, Horn_Spanker said:

Tracking an Amazon order, why does it take five and a half hours to drive from Kyle to Buda?

No one wants to go to Buda, and even when someone is paid to go there they put it off as long as possible.

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

That's a great idea. Like a faceback app that lets you see the person's face based on the back of their head.

so like the iToilet app, only the "i" stands for "Idea"

4 hours ago, Horn_Spanker said:

Tracking an Amazon order, why does it take five and a half hours to drive from Kyle to Buda?

Detour to Black’s BBQ in Lockhart?

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?
Well, because that's the way they built them in England, and English engineers designed the first US railroads. Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the wagon tramways, and that's the gauge they used. So, why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that same wheel spacing. Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break more often on some of the old, long distance roads in England . You see, that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.
And what about the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match or run the risk of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses).
Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature, of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything.

 

On 10/5/2022 at 4:48 AM, Kennythetiger said:

You’re the old fucker that the track kids have to dodge? 

They have a loop outside of the actual track. I walk there. 

Herbert (Family Guy) - Wikipedia

 

On 10/5/2022 at 5:30 AM, closetohumping said:

You live in California?  Kind of a surprise.  Most of the fellow olds around me are in decent shape. 

Yeah. I'm 48 YO with a host of neurological, cardiovascular and joint issues, but no one will accuse me of being overweight.

 

And for the lulz, the main track coach emailed this to the parents yesterday:

Sideline Coaching: I have heard from a couple coaches and parents that we have a few overly competitive parents in the Boys Youth Development group, and it is distracting the other teams (Hurdles/ Sprints/ Girls YD).  We don't need the sideline coaching.  If you would like to coach, please send me your contact information, and I will send you the information required to get background checked and certified to coach.  Plus, us coaches don't like being watched like we are at the zoo.  Feel free to walk the outside of the fence, walk the neighborhood, or wait in your car. 

That’s awesome. Our lacrosse coach last year had to “fire” the sideline score keeper because she wouldn’t stop yelling at the kids mid play. She was giving contradictory instruction from the actual coaches and just generally being insufferable. She then sent a group message that she’d no longer be sharing her game pictures of the team. Many chuckles were had. /csb

5 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

*we coaches 

More articulate than the average Coach rant.  Coaches are not known for their knowledge of the intricacies of English grammar.  

On 10/5/2022 at 10:51 AM, General Specific said:

Usernames and alternatives for new users, or sock.

Chili dog - Tastee Freeze, Jack and Diane

Don’t mean to pick on Chili dog, but almost every dam time I see that user name, the ear worm starts playing in my head.

I’m sure there are more usernames that trip songs for others here.

@Kyrie Eleison and that stupid Mr. Mister song. 

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

@Kyrie Eleison and that stupid Mr. Mister song. 

well that’s your own damn fault for listening to music only good for motivating a gnarly shit.  

2 minutes ago, Kyrie Eleison said:

well that’s your own damn fault for listening to music only good for motivating a gnarly shit.  

Whatever you say, Flock of Seagulls! 

Hey soul sister ain’t that Mr. Mister on the radio the stereo the way you move ain’t fair you know

In hindsight if at the end of Seven it been the actual head of Gwyneth Paltrow, I think it would considered to be a feel good movie.

The more time I spent in my memories...I have did in fact see Cartaphilus.  His secret isn't that he stays looking the same.

 

Also, I'm digging Foreigner's music more and more despite swearing them off in the 1990s.

11 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Also, I'm digging Foreigner's music more and more despite swearing them off in the 1990s.

You just had to take a little time. A little time to think things over. 

You just had to take a little time. A little time to think things over. 

Maybe it’s been so long it feels like the first time.
10 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

You just had to take a little time. A little time to think things over. 

You're as cold as ice...

10 hours ago, Steel Shank said:

Do red brake calipers make cars go faster?

No only yellow ones. 

11 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

You just had to take a little time. A little time to think things over. 

No, no, no. It’s urgent. Urgent. Urgent. Emergency. 

Great rebranding, guys. Let pay the marketing firm another $3M

F1D563AE-F1DF-42DC-BCCD-F198EC434FAF.jpeg

Very often I start reading a thread on the last post and scroll backwards.

On 10/9/2022 at 9:43 AM, Bullneck said:

Very often I start reading a thread on the last post and scroll backwards.

the dark knight rises GIF

Is it a bowling alley that has a chinese restaurant inside of it or it a chinese restaurant that happens to have a bowling alley in its basement?

On 10/9/2022 at 7:32 AM, 52-80 said:

Great rebranding, guys. Let pay the marketing firm another $3M

F1D563AE-F1DF-42DC-BCCD-F198EC434FAF.jpeg

I once heard about a brand consultant firm getting $10 million to tell Circle K to brand a group of stores they bought, wait for it.....Circle K.

That was the moment I figured out it's my dream is to become a consultant.

 

 

Another one that struck me was a bit on CNBC years ago where the Coca-Cola talking head was proudly announcing they were changing their slogan from

Enjoy, Coca-Cola.

 

to

 

Coca-Cola, Enjoy.

Edited by Incredulity

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