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Featured Replies

4 hours ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

So I have an elementary aged boy   .....PG-13-I'm-cringing-and-he-really-shouldn't-be-watching-Jumanji2.

 

Holy shit you must be a giant vagina 

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

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    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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4 hours ago, GhostofDanJones said:

Why is something sent by car called a shipment, but something sent by ship called cargo?

And people drive on parkways but park on driveways! 

If you have  "prime occupation" as a doctor, your last thoughts should ever be, "how can I go out and lure, drug & rape innocent women, with my girlfriend"..?

Quote

Surgeon who appeared on reality TV dating show is accused of sexual ...

Los Angeles Times-12 hours ago
Dr. Grant William Robicheaux billed himself as an elite orthopedic surgeon catering to Newport Beach's famous and wealthy. It was a lifestyle ...

 

And, umm, don't do absurd things like wait in line for a new electronic gadget, days before the line starts, when you could just as simply order online...

Quote

Houston man waiting in line for new iPhone since Sunday - Story ...

www.fox4news.com/news/texas/houston-man-waiting-in-line-for-new-iphone-since-s...
6 hours ago - Apple is releasing its new iPhone XS and XS Max Friday, and one Houston man is taking literally the famous movie line, "If you ain't first, you're ...

 

Fuck waiting in line longer than 15 minutes for anything in life ever.

I hope he drops it on the way out of the store and gets sent to the back of the line.

Edited by Your Mom

7 hours ago, GhostofDanJones said:

Why is something sent by car called a shipment, but something sent by ship called cargo?

thats-gold-jerry-gold.jpg

So my just texted me a picture of her self when she was 17 or 18. Should I be ashamed that my 44 yo self wanted to fuck her? You fuckers will not see the picture.

So my just texted me a picture of her self when she was 17 or 18. Should I be ashamed that my 44 yo self wanted to fuck her? You fuckers will not see the picture.

Wife
41 minutes ago, Stros said:

So my just texted me a picture of her self when she was 17 or 18. Should I be ashamed that my 44 yo self wanted to fuck her? You fuckers will not see the picture.

imgur

Office potlucks are a pain in the ass at the best of times, but when they go with a theme, and the theme is stupid, it's a real struggle not to turn surly as hell. Caribbean Potato Bar? What in the actual fuck? I think I know what day next week I'm going to suddenly have four or five conference calls in a row I can't possibly get out of.

On 8/11/2018 at 10:58 PM, NorthLoop said:

Every single one of those people in the Carson vids are dead except Burt

You had to go there, didn't you?

3 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Office potlucks are a pain in the ass at the best of times, but when they go with a theme, and the theme is stupid, it's a real struggle not to turn surly as hell. Caribbean Potato Bar? What in the actual fuck? I think I know what day next week I'm going to suddenly have four or five conference calls in a row I can't possibly get out of.

Did somebody say  Caribbean potato bar ?

we gonna have lotsa fixins, mon!  Fixins!

4 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Office potlucks are a pain in the ass at the best of times, but when they go with a theme, and the theme is stupid, it's a real struggle not to turn surly as hell. Caribbean Potato Bar? What in the actual fuck? I think I know what day next week I'm going to suddenly have four or five conference calls in a row I can't possibly get out of.

Show up with a shitty cheese sandwich and some loose lettuce like they served at the Fyre Festival.

4 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Office potlucks are a pain in the ass at the best of times, but when they go with a theme, and the theme is stupid, it's a real struggle not to turn surly as hell. Caribbean Potato Bar? What in the actual fuck? I think I know what day next week I'm going to suddenly have four or five conference calls in a row I can't possibly get out of.

We have those occasionally.....

I never eat any of it.

 

I lived about 4 houses down from Rhett bomar, but he was about 12 yearsish younger than me.

Bomared1.jpg~c200

On an airplane, middle seat gets both armrests. Plain and simple, this is just universal  common courtesy. 

Lots of lonely (and good looking) women at the local TJ Maxx Homegoods on Friday evenings.

Pretend to be newly single, and looking to help to furnish your bachelor pad

 

I had grilled brussel sprouts for lunch.  I wonder if that might have been a mistake since I have meeting later.  Guess I will find out.

Edited by Moby Ric

3 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

I had grilled brussel sprouts for lunch.  I wonder if that might have been a mistake since I have meeting later.  Guess I will find out.

Hate to quote myself, but it was a mistake.  Woof.

3 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

So I was in a rental car, Miata, in Austin this weekend. I stop in a strip mall and guy approaches me asking what I think about the car. 

We have a decent auto oriented conversation, and a little more rounded. I note I just moved from Austin 6 months ago.

He then proceeds to provide his favorite restaurant picks... Well, that's just curios, but I mean, whatever.

After ending that conversation politely he starts going off about regarding Trump issues. Out of the blue, after nothing political at all prior. I try to discourage it by stating, "Oh I don't watch the new.". He's not having it, he continues to complain. I finally ask him, "Why do you give a shit about things you can't change.", as I was honestly curious. 

He basically said good bye, it was nice meeting you and left.

Did I meet Groverat irl?

Are you a good looking man?

When I die my gravestone should say: 

Oppositional Defiance:

I did it my way, you fool. 

-Fuck You.

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

Pretty average, so not really. 

Maybe he was just horny and not being terribly particular. I mean, you were in a Miata.

Random thought... if I haven't checked a long thread in a while and the thread post count is in the 40 or 90 range I'm too lazy to read through that whole page and just wait for it to roll over to a new one

24 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

So 3 posts for a Miata gay joke.

I was pretty sure that was where you were headed, but had a modicum of hope you weren't. I should have known better.

Drive a Miata, when it's a nice night out, through some twisty hills with the top down and a good looking female in the passenger seat and get back to me on how gay it is to drive one.

Dude, Dude in a Miata = gay

NTTAWWT

If want to drive a sports car get a Mustang, Camaro or Corvette.  A Miata is a car for a woman.

30 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

So 3 posts for a Miata gay joke.

I was pretty sure that was where you were headed, but had a modicum of hope you weren't. I should have known better.

Drive a Miata, when it's a nice night out, through some twisty hills with the top down and a good looking female in the passenger seat and get back to me on how gay it is to drive one.

The fact that you were driving a Miata had no bearing on your story, but you offered the info up front. As if you were presenting...

NTTAWWT

Anyone who things a Miata is a chick magnet has never pulled chicks. 

3 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

It was a fucking rental and that was the first thing the guy brought up and the reason he approached me.

And I'm sure as fuck not hearing lessons about pulling chicks from Surly.

It was the oddity of the rest of the conversation that I was pointing out, which noone has addressed because a bunch of homophobic small cock fuck sticks don't even have the self confidence to even drive a Miata as a rental car. A topic that doesn't even belong in this thread.

Fuck sake.

You seriously think some random dude saw a Miata and wanted to talk about the CAR?

9 hours ago, bluto said:

Random thought... if I haven't checked a long thread in a while and the thread post count is in the 40 or 90 range I'm too lazy to read through that whole page and just wait for it to roll over to a new one

Over to the right of the thread title you'll see the avatar of the last person who posted in the thread and the time since they posted. If you click on the time it will take you directly to the last post in the thread. 

11 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

So 3 posts for a Miata gay joke.

I was pretty sure that was where you were headed, but had a modicum of hope you weren't. I should have known better.

Drive a Miata, when it's a nice night out, through some twisty hills with the top down and a good looking female in the passenger seat and get back to me on how gay it is to drive one.

No need to explain. People who make fun of the MX5 (no longer called the Miata) have never driven a stick-shift MX5.

BTW, the first time I got road head was in my '93. It was an awkward position because of the center console, but bless her flexibility.

10 hours ago, El Diablo said:

You seriously think some random dude saw a Miata and wanted to talk about the CAR?

There's a HUGE aftermarket for Miata go-fast parts, and then there's also spec Miata racing events around the country.

I'd talk car with a Miata driver before I talk car with someone who drives a typical BMW (328i with automatic transmission).

I'd say after having sex with other men, driving a Miata is the second gayest thing I do.  

I observed a customer service training class yesterday, and there was a really interesting teachable moment. One of the phone calls they were listening to and critiquing included a blatantly racist screed by the customer. The instructor of the class was black, and she didn't even flinch while listening to the call. After the class nervously critiqued everything about the call other than the elephant in the room, she asked them how they ought to handle the racist element.

Nobody said a word, so she plowed ahead:  "It's really simple. Just remember, she's somebody's Nana. This ain't a Sunday school, it's not a political rally, and it isn't a philosophy class. You're here to provide customer service, and she's a customer. Cuss her out all you want when you get home, but when you're on the phone with her, make her happy."

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Over to the right of the thread title you'll see the avatar of the last person who posted in the thread and the time since they posted. If you click on the time it will take you directly to the last post in the thread. 

I use the button on the far left with either the star or circle that's blackened, it's just the potential for having to read the whole page of posts I don't wanna fool with

1 minute ago, bluto said:

I use the button on the far left with either the star or circle that's blackened, it's just the potential for having to read the whole page of posts I don't wanna fool with

That takes you to the first unread post in the thread. If there are more unread posts than you care to read then you can go straight to the last post in the thread and just read the last one or two or several if that's what you prefer. If you're waiting for the thread to grow to a new page before catching up then I thought that was information you might find useful. 

Just trying to help. 

43 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I observed a customer service training class yesterday, and there was a really interesting teachable moment. One of the phone calls they were listening to and critiquing included a blatantly racist screed by the customer. The instructor of the class was black, and she didn't even flinch while listening to the call. After the class nervously critiqued everything about the call other than the elephant in the room, she asked them how they ought to handle the racist element.

Nobody said a word, so she plowed ahead:  "It's really simple. Just remember, she's somebody's Nana. This ain't a Sunday school, it's not a political rally, and it isn't a philosophy class. You're here to provide customer service, and she's a customer. Cuss her out all you want when you get home, but when you're on the phone with her, make her happy."

Good one. Sounds like something Dalton would say.

22 minutes ago, bluto said:

I use the button on the far left with either the star or circle that's blackened, it's just the potential for having to read the whole page of posts I don't wanna fool with

You probably know this, but if you click on the time posted it will take you to the last post.

image.png

I watched a guy pull up the shirt with a girl with big titties in 8th grade, I was in the room.

I doubt I can be a supreme court justice now. :(

You probably know this, but if you click on the time posted it will take you to the last post.
image.png


Damn I didn't know that. Thanks
10 hours ago, markstanco said:

I watched a guy pull up the shirt with a girl with big titties in 8th grade, I was in the room.

I doubt I can be a supreme court justice now. :(

I bet you drank beer in High School too you serial gang rapist.

Cloaking the random thoughts thread? Bold fuckin' strategy....

Anyone else as tired as I am at seeing Michael Strahan all over the GD television?  MFer trying to be the black Ryan Seacrest. 

No need to explain. People who make fun of the MX5 (no longer called the Miata) have never driven a stick-shift MX5.
BTW, the first time I got road head was in my '93. It was an awkward position because of the center console, but bless her flexibility.


After seeing her pic in the other thread is was going to ask wat dat mouf do doe, but now I know.

Driving in the hill country every damn truck or SUV has a big black brush guard. Makes me think they're all cops when I see them coming the opposite way. 

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