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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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12 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

Ah, Bach.

3b48c503-a269-443b-a5e6-e48beb5af1fb_tex

Are monkey bars considered racist now? Are we supposed to call them something else?

Please explain why you think they were called monkey bars…

Please explain why you think they were called monkey bars…

bf58f4570610bb339be33748c6f471ed.jpg
IDK…. This?

At the end of movie credits there is always a disclaimer about the movie being fiction and any likeness is coincidental.  Anyways, the term they use for a movie or film is "photoplay".  I find that amusing.

Did you know that if you open more than 100 tabs on your chrome app, it shows a smiley 😃 instead of a number?

I found this out when I was helping my parents with their phone. 

I didn’t realize I could add an emoji just by typing its name until I noticed when I wrote the word potato that I was given the option to substitute 🥔.

Also, I’ve never liked the word emoji. We used to call (📞, ☎️, or 📱) them emoticons. What was wrong with that? Emoji sounds Japanese. Try saying it in your Mr. Miyagi voice (Look 👁! Always look 👁!) and see if you don’t agree. They’re little icons that are used to express emotion. I’d rather go back to calling them emoticons or come up with some new term altogether.

So, I'm not sure any of you have ever had sleep paralysis.  I did like twice before I was 20.  Just had it happen last night, only this time, I could swear I heard footsteps dragging across my carpet.  

I went down a rabbit hole on tigerdroppings after a link to a topic was posted here the other day.  I was reading thru the trending topics and one was car registration and judging by the responses almost half their posters haven’t renewed in a year or more.  Wtf?  

Reading the wikipedia on ridley scott and saw that a Gladiator 2 was in the works. 
 

Here is its entry. This article is a hoax, righht?

 

Quote

In May 2006, Scott stated that while development on the project continues, the exact story to the film has yet to be figured out. The filmmaker stated that all creative minds that were involved with Gladiator, are working on how to continue from where the story left off. Scott stated that Crowe had favored a fantasy element with bringing Maximus back to life, while saying that he believed a grounded historical-fiction approach was the better option. While he believes the film will not be made, he confirmed the plan to reveal that Lucius is the son of Maximus and Lucilla while comparing the necessity of a more complex script with the corruption of Rome in the potential sequel.[171] During this time, Nick Cavewas commissioned to write a new draft of the script. It was later revealed to be written under the working title of "Christ Killer". Cave described the plot as a "deities vs. deity vs. humanity" story. The premise involved Maximus in purgatory, who is resurrected as an immortal eternal warrior for the Roman gods. In the draft, Maximus is sent to Earth and tasked with stopping the momentum of Christianity by killing Jesus Christ and His disciples, as their movement was gradually siphoning off the power and vitality of the ancient Pagan gods. During his tasked mission, Maximus is tricked into murdering his own son. Cursed to live forever, Cave's script included Maximus fighting amongst the Crusades, WWII, and the Vietnam War; with the ending revealing that in the modern-day time period, the character now works at The Pentagon. The script was ultimately rejected and scrapped.

 

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

I’d pay to see that movie.

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6 hours ago, closetohumping said:

So, I'm not sure any of you have ever had sleep paralysis.  I did like twice before I was 20.  Just had it happen last night, only this time, I could swear I heard footsteps dragging across my carpet.  

We had an entire thread on Shaggy. I experienced it a lot in college. Black shadows would hold my chest down, and it only happened in one particular house. Weird thing was that if I woke up and saw a black figure in the corner of my room, the shadows wouldn’t come that night and I would sleep well. 
I always thought it was just a haunted house until someone started that thread. 

6 hours ago, closetohumping said:

So, I'm not sure any of you have ever had sleep paralysis.  I did like twice before I was 20.  Just had it happen last night, only this time, I could swear I heard footsteps dragging across my carpet.  

My grandmother lived with us the last few years of her life. She was always stubborn, and with dementia, she was difficult to say the least. OTOH, I was a terrible, absolutely horrible grandson. The night before she died, I dreamed (?) that there was a "leopard" with my grandmother's face pressing on my chest. I couldn't move or breathe. It was scary to say the least. The next morning she passed while I was leaving to go to school. I remember it was the last day of school before the summer break, and I puked my guts out at school before my mom to pick me up.

We transported her body to her hometown that afternoon, and I felt nauseous the entire time until we dropped her body off at the morgue.

I usually don't believe in the supernatural, but I'm pretty certain she was punishing me for all the shitty stuff I did.

11 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

We had an entire thread on Shaggy. I experienced it a lot in college. Black shadows would hold my chest down, and it only happened in one particular house. Weird thing was that if I woke up and saw a black figure in the corner of my room, the shadows wouldn’t come that night and I would sleep well. 
I always thought it was just a haunted house until someone started that thread. 

Felt incredibly real and I was definitely screaming.  So weird.  There's been death and a lot of stress around me lately

7 hours ago, closetohumping said:

So, I'm not sure any of you have ever had sleep paralysis.  I did like twice before I was 20.  Just had it happen last night, only this time, I could swear I heard footsteps dragging across my carpet.  

The common sleep paralysis symptom is feeling something is in the room, or pressing on ones chest. 

Never had that. But the variant I get is feeling *aware* of being in a dream, and therefore trapped in a paralyzed body, trying desperately to “snap” out of it back into “real life”.  Except many times I would snap into another layer of paralysis like some a demented version of Inception. 

Had he lived Carroll Shelby would have 100 today.  Married 7 times.  Supposedly owned the town of Terlingua at one time.  Started a AC Cobra car company on credit.  Dude was a Texas hero.  I raise my glass today for him.  Salute.

Would have 100 what?

Instagram followers? FB friends? Complaints logged with the sheriff of people on his lawn?

On 2/24/2022 at 5:57 PM, 52-80 said:

The new york philharmonic orchestra and the new york symphony orchestra are 2 separate groups

0F02725F-C3F1-44E1-AC9D-FAE59F41A4EE.gif.ce356b383b09db1d3079ccbf5839c1a9.gif

Also, Albert Hoffman was born today.  Would be 112, if not for the acid...man.  C'mon and dim the lights. 

And happy living birthday to the great Robert Earl Keen.  

Why do people put their full address on their resumes?  It’s not like I’m gonna send you a prize for talking to me.

Exceptions are of if you’re hot, then please include your address so I can watch you from the bushes. 

Edited by Superhero

34 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Why do people put their full address on their resumes?  It’s not like I’m gonna send you a prize for talking to me.

Exceptions are of if you’re hot, then please include your address so I can watch you from the bushes. 

What are they supposed to put on there?  Besides a picture. 

1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

What are they supposed to put on there?  Besides a picture. 

Not just any picture. It's gotta be in front of a tree.

12 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Not just any picture. It's gotta be in front of a tree.

Any tree? What tree enhances ones employability?

6 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

Any tree? What tree enhances ones employability?

This isn't a bleeding botany lesson.

hqdefault.jpg

Why do people put their full address on their resumes?  It’s not like I’m gonna send you a prize for talking to me.
Exceptions are of if you’re hot, then please include your address so I can watch you from the bushes. 

Does your application ask for my address?
3 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

Any tree? What tree enhances ones employability?

Cherry, so I know you're well travelled, and have a global perspective.

 

2 hours ago, Lurch said:

Does your application ask for my address?

Your address? Nope. Not for anyone else's either. But I suppose if you leave an address, I can do a Google street view and see if you have cars up on blocks in your driveway.

just bought my 3rd pair of birkenstocks since the summer.  in brown suede. its like walking on clouds and bunny rabbits are giving your feet a hug. 

turns out, when the hippies are onto something, they're *really* onto something.

just bought my 3rd pair of birkenstocks since the summer.  in brown suede. its like walking on clouds and bunny rabbits are giving your feet a hug. 
turns out, when the hippies are onto something, they're *really* onto something.
Had a pair sophomore year of high school.
My son came home one day from his mom's with the exact same style I had back in the day. He's currently a sophomore. Wild man. Wild. I'll wait to buy a pair because then he'd stop wearing his.
14 hours ago, 52-80 said:

just bought my 3rd pair of birkenstocks since the summer.  in brown suede. its like walking on clouds and bunny rabbits are giving your feet a hug. 

turns out, when the hippies are onto something, they're *really* onto something.

I bought one pair about 10 years ago when I got some plantar fasciitis and returned them the next day because they were too hippy-looking. I had exposure to a lot of hippies in the 70s and don’t want to go back there. 
Fast forward to about 5 years ago. All of a sudden they were “in” among the teenager and 20-something set in Texas. My 20-something kids all got them. I was still dealing with some PF, so I got a pair. 
Now I own one of the classic sandal kind that I wear every second I can. Unbelievably comfortable. I have three pair of Birk shoes also. I can’t wear them for everything, but I wear them as much as I can. 
My current favorite pair (other than my sandals):

6F7881A6-E205-48DA-A1B5-82E34877D40E.thumb.jpeg.3dce0433c32dbc4f0c5d909b86924a74.jpeg

https://www.birkenstock.com/us/bend-low-canvas%2Fsuede/bendlow-canvas-mixedleather-0-rubber-u_7158.html

45 minutes ago, nnm said:

Now I own one of the classic sandal kind that I wear every second I can. Unbelievably comfortable. I have three pair of Birk shoes also. I can’t wear them for everything, but I wear them as much as I can. 
My current favorite pair (other than my sandals):

6F7881A6-E205-48DA-A1B5-82E34877D40E.thumb.jpeg.3dce0433c32dbc4f0c5d909b86924a74.jpeg

https://www.birkenstock.com/us/bend-low-canvas%2Fsuede/bendlow-canvas-mixedleather-0-rubber-u_7158.html

Fuck yeah I have this pair in khaki as my everyday sneakers. They are insanely ergonomic/supportive. Keep the classic sandals at home and at the in-laws to kick around. I’m so sold I’m thinking about clogs for inside the house and boots for winter. 

They have become so weirdly ‘fashionable’ that even the wife is considering a pair. 

i actually read most instruction manuals and terms & conditions

i actually read most instruction manuals and terms & conditions

Bullshit. You do not exist.

Not a thought to express, but I just read that the collective noun for crabs is a consortium.  And I wanted to share that new knowledge. 

Shamelessness is truly a super power.  Not the good kind though.  The shady kind like invisibility or x-ray vision.

On 1/14/2023 at 11:25 AM, Pato del Muerto said:

Not a thought to express, but I just read that the collective noun for crabs is a consortium.  And I wanted to share that new knowledge. 

Me and three or more crows would murder those crabs.

On 1/14/2023 at 9:48 AM, 52-80 said:

i actually read most instruction manuals and terms & conditions

giphy.gif

I've put screen time limits, and app limits on my son's iPad so he can only use it during a certain time, and he also only gets a few hours on Youtube and Roblox.

Yesterday he ran out of time, and my nephew told him to guess the password and gave him some ideas.

So yeah, I should have selected a more difficult password, but now I'm fucking pissed at both my son and nephew for trying to go around me. I took his iPad away, and told him he can have it next week.

My son is crying himself to sleep now, but only after he yelled at my nephew (who's sleeping over) that it's all his fault.

Should I be pissed at myself, my son, my nephew or all of the above?

7 hours ago, Superhero said:

I've put screen time limits, and app limits on my son's iPad so he can only use it during a certain time, and he also only gets a few hours on Youtube and Roblox.

Yesterday he ran out of time, and my nephew told him to guess the password and gave him some ideas.

So yeah, I should have selected a more difficult password, but now I'm fucking pissed at both my son and nephew for trying to go around me. I took his iPad away, and told him he can have it next week.

My son is crying himself to sleep now, but only after he yelled at my nephew (who's sleeping over) that it's all his fault.

Should I be pissed at myself, my son, my nephew or all of the above?

Only yourself. You should be amused at your son and nephew, and slightly pleased with them for having creative and mischievous minds. You don’t want to raise a robot.

You want your kids to have respect for rules and your authority, but also be independent and creative. The discipline you’re giving is appropriate and will impart the appropriate lesson, and isn’t so harsh that you’ll exasperate your boy. He’ll be mad, but learn his lesson.
Don’t sweat it when you make your kid temporarily unhappy with consequences. You’re not after your kid’s happiness, you’re after their contentedness as adults. It’s a long game. If you live in fear of making your kid unhappy, you’re credit-card parenting, and the interest from failing to discipline will come due when he’s a teenager or beyond.
On the other hand, if you take the long view and see his temporary unhappiness as just that-temporary-and can even chuckle about it, he’ll be better for it. 

 

Was that Calista Flockhart yelling “No way”? First screen time in years!
On 1/13/2023 at 12:49 PM, Gatorubet said:

Any tree? What tree enhances ones employability?

The Larch.

11 hours ago, Superhero said:

I've put screen time limits, and app limits on my son's iPad so he can only use it during a certain time, and he also only gets a few hours on Youtube and Roblox.

Yesterday he ran out of time, and my nephew told him to guess the password and gave him some ideas.

So yeah, I should have selected a more difficult password, but now I'm fucking pissed at both my son and nephew for trying to go around me. I took his iPad away, and told him he can have it next week.

My son is crying himself to sleep now, but only after he yelled at my nephew (who's sleeping over) that it's all his fault.

Should I be pissed at myself, my son, my nephew or all of the above?

Was your password “Boobies”?  

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Was your password “Boobies”?  

Close.

I could only use 4 digits, so I used 8008.

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