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Featured Replies

2 hours ago, closetohumping said:

I just ate while pooping.  A new low.

Could have just dumped your meal into the toilet and cut out the middle man.

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  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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It's strange, but no stranger than me posing with a fish I just caught.  I kinda get it.  If it's a spontaneous thing and you're caught up in the moment, I get it.   

What I don't get is families who send out photographs or holiday cards of the whole family holding handguns/long guns.  That is so fucking bizarre to me.  You're sitting around the tree, matching holiday colors on, and then somebody just yells, "Wait, for mee-maw...everybody go to the safe and grab a weapon!"  I barely remember to put a bow in my daughter's hair for the pic, let alone check the safety on her service pistol.  

10 hours ago, closetohumping said:

I just ate while pooping.  A new low.

Throughout high school, I never have myself enough to eat breakfast and take a dump in the morning, so I’d get breakfast from the kitchen and eat while taking a morning dump. Every single weekday for almost 3 years of my life. Probably explains 5% of what is wrong with me. 

My wife criticizes me for not using blinkers all the time. My system is blinkers only needed if anyone actually sees or is affected by them. 
 

For example, on the freeway the cars ahead and cars behind are 50 yards away…im not signalling to change lanes. 
 

Whos right?

Your system assumes you never make a mistake in determining where everyone is around you. It works right up until the time it doesn’t.

Use you blinker. It might keep you from getting run over by the bro dozer you don’t see in your blind spot.

Soon enough you get stubborn, or just out of the habit, and then you're in the trivial things that make others surly thread or the who's the asshole thread for not signaling at all, making everyone else guess what you're doing.

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

My wife criticizes me for not using blinkers all the time. My system is blinkers only needed if anyone actually sees or is affected by them. 
 

For example, on the freeway the cars ahead and cars behind are 50 yards away…im not signalling to change lanes. 
 

Whos right?

Wife

If there's nobody for a mile in any direction, use your blinker.  If for no other reason than it gives them nothing to whine about.  

1 minute ago, closetohumping said:

Wife

If a tree falls in the forest and noone is around to hear, is my wife deaf?

Edited by 52-80

If a tree falls in the forest and noone is around to hear, is my wife deaf?

No. If a tree falls in the forest and your wife isn’t around to hear it, you are still wrong. Universal axiom of truth.
1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

My wife criticizes me for not using blinkers all the time. My system is blinkers only needed if anyone actually sees or is affected by them. 
 

For example, on the freeway the cars ahead and cars behind are 50 yards away…im not signalling to change lanes. 
 

Whos right?

The minimal effort it takes is worth the maximum risk of some BWM screaming down the highway at 100MPH and not seeing you & splattering you on the road.

2 hours ago, 52-80 said:

My wife criticizes me for not using blinkers all the time. My system is blinkers only needed if anyone actually sees or is affected by them. 
 

For example, on the freeway the cars ahead and cars behind are 50 yards away…im not signalling to change lanes. 
 

Whos right?

You should use them in every day life even when not driving 

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1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

If a tree falls in the forest and noone is around to hear, is my wife deaf?

I get it.  For me it's a muscle memory habitual thing.  Pretty soon, you may start doing it on I -35 because you "checked your mirror and closest car was like 200 yards away."

Sitting in the back of an airplane and watching humanity attempt to deplane is the most fucking painful thing to witness.

10 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

Sitting in the back of an airplane and watching humanity attempt to deplane is the most fucking painful thing to witness.

People's inflated sense of importance rises to the surface at this moment, like few others. I like seeing people stand up and try to deplane when there are at least 100 people in front of them.

They're also the drivers that try to swerve in and out around heavy traffic. We're all in this sardine can together so relax and you'll get there when the people ahead of you move up.

4 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

People's inflated sense of importance rises to the surface at this moment, like few others. I like seeing people stand up and try to deplane when there are at least 100 people in front of them.

They're also the drivers that try to swerve in and out around heavy traffic. We're all in this sardine can together so relax and you'll get there when the people ahead of you move up.

Boarding the plane as well.  I've seen a mad rush to get on and I'm like "plane ain't leaving without me." 

Boarding the plane as well.  I've seen a mad rush to get on and I'm like "plane ain't leaving without me." 

It could.

And overhead space near your seat will certainly fill up without you.
14 minutes ago, tbone_ said:


It could.

And overhead space near your seat will certainly fill up without you.

Plane won’t leave if I’m standing before the gate  closes with a. Valid ticket.  

Absent some kind of fuckery on your part, yes this is true

so you guys that are "pro" turn signal blinkers.....your ok with someone sitting in a turning lane for 2 minutes waiting for the light to turn, with their damn blinker on the whole time ?

 

 

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28 minutes ago, Hpara759 said:

so you guys that are "pro" turn signal blinkers.....your ok with someone sitting in a turning lane for 2 minutes waiting for the light to turn, with their damn blinker on the whole time ?

Don't have to give a signal if you just leave it on all the time.

tenor-19.gif

2 hours ago, gofuckyourself said:

People's inflated sense of importance rises to the surface at this moment, like few others. I like seeing people stand up and try to deplane when there are at least 100 people in front of them.

They're also the drivers that try to swerve in and out around heavy traffic. We're all in this sardine can together so relax and you'll get there when the people ahead of you move up.

I stand up because I’ve just spent the last 2-12 hours sitting. Move the legs around a little bit. I know full well I won’t be able to get out for the next 5-10 minutes, but that’s ok. Standing feels good. 

8 minutes ago, nnm said:

I stand up because I’ve just spent the last 2-12 hours sitting. Move the legs around a little bit. I know full well I won’t be able to get out for the next 5-10 minutes, but that’s ok. Standing feels good. 

The standers I get. It's the standers, push into the aisle-ers and start opening and rummaging through the overhead bin-ers, when the door isn't even open yet, that elicit my contempt and disdain.

6 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

The standers I get. It's the standers, push into the aisle-ers and start opening and rummaging through the overhead bin-ers, when the door isn't even open yet, that elicit my contempt and disdain.

If humanity in general could be relied on to act like adults and allow those passengers with connections to quickly deplane first, and if we could take people at their word about this, we could all avoid most of this specific frustration. 

But instead, we've got ample Helobii who will blithely violate the social contract for their own selfish convenience. 

4 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

If humanity in general could be relied on to act like adults and allow those passengers with connections to quickly deplane first, and if we could take people at their word about this, we could all avoid most of this specific frustration. 

But instead, we've got ample Helobii who will blithely violate the social contract for their own selfish convenience. 

True.

It reminds me of last week when I saw a firetruck, siren and lights on, trying to make its way south on 35 during rush hour...

With a jacked up truck and half a dozen other cars tailgating it in its wake, starting maybe 10 feet behind it. I was going northbound and I still may have honked and flipped them off out of principle.

If humanity in general could be relied on to act like adults and allow those passengers with connections to quickly deplane first, and if we could take people at their word about this, we could all avoid most of this specific frustration. 
But instead, we've got ample Helobii who will blithely violate the social contract for their own selfish convenience. 

That pansy ass meely-mouthed shit isn’t the kind of take charge attitude that made this country what it is today. Pinko.
Don't have to give a signal if you just leave it on all the time.
tenor-19.gif

Just drive around with hazards on, 60% of the time it works every time!!!
6 hours ago, DaysOff said:

Sitting in the back of an airplane and watching humanity attempt to deplane is the most fucking painful thing to witness.

Why do people in the back of the plane automatically stand up when the seatbelt light goes off?

Not just the people in the aisle, but people in the middle and window seats as well…

Do they just like standing up stooped over at an odd angle?

The older I get, the more I realize that I know very little. 

But simultaneously, I discover more people are far bigger idiots than I previously thought. 

And those 2 realizations just basically cancel out, really. 

I don't think that the Masters online broadcast gets enough credit. Limited commercials, easy to just go to a website and stream (no service needed, no sign-up, disable adblocker, give us the name of your first-born), lots of personalization to what you want to follow. 

Trying to watch 24 hours of Daytona on the computer and it's a chore. Made me think of how well-run the Masters online viewing is.

Edited by FirstTimeCaller

I don't think that the Masters online broadcast gets enough credit. Limited commercials, easy to just go to a website and stream (no service needed, no sign-up, disable adblocker, give us the name of your first-born), lots of personalization to what you want to follow. 
Trying to watch 24 hours of Daytona on the computer and it's a chore. Made me think of how well-run the Masters online viewing is.

Nothing is even close. Seems every year they add something to it. The networks couldn’t catch up even if they tried. I’d guess we’ll get drone material this year or maybe mic’d up groups

After 28 years I wonder if my wife secretly can’t stand me. Sometimes not so secretly

On 1/24/2023 at 11:24 AM, Hpara759 said:

so you guys that are "pro" turn signal blinkers.....your ok with someone sitting in a turning lane for 2 minutes waiting for the light to turn, with their damn blinker on the whole time ?

It doesn’t affect me at all. What the fuck do I care?

3 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

I don't think that the Masters online broadcast gets enough credit. Limited commercials, easy to just go to a website and stream (no service needed, no sign-up, disable adblocker, give us the name of your first-born), lots of personalization to what you want to follow. 

Trying to watch 24 hours of Daytona on the computer and it's a chore. Made me think of how well-run the Masters online viewing is.

That's as much as a credit to the Masters production as it's just a typical and accurate reflection of NBC's motorsports coverage. 

When you wait for the commercial to go pee... and you're watching a program on DVR.

9 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

After 28 years I wonder if my wife secretly can’t stand me. Sometimes not so secretly

 

9 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

We've known you a lot less than 28 years and we can't stand you

So you're saying that she's a little slow? 

Ive got this extensive list of movies i want to watch or re-watch all queued up on the TV. But when I have some free time in front of it…end up playing some random trashy shit from the Netflix screen. 

14 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

We've known you a lot less than 28 years and we can't stand you

Damn. I’ve got to be coming up on 20 years of Shaggy/ Surly. 

So you're saying that she's a little slow? 

Well… obviously

I see Priscilla is already contesting Lisa Marie’s written trust. That didn’t take long!

On 1/29/2023 at 6:22 AM, Kennythetiger said:

Damn. I’ve got to be coming up on 20 years of Shaggy/ Surly. 

You should get free mental health care for that.

On 1/26/2023 at 5:01 PM, 52-80 said:

The older I get, the more I realize that I know very little. 

But simultaneously, I discover more people are far bigger idiots than I previously thought. 

And those 2 realizations just basically cancel out, really. 

Solid take.  I'm at an age and place in life where I look back on how little I've actually learned, and I learned a lot---just not as much as I should have.  But then I look around at my contemporaries and just think, "It's impossible you're this stupid."  

It's kinda like the blinker thing.  You get older and think, "Everybody I know that says they are for people living their lives and being left alone.  And then people constantly are getting up in other people's shit that has no bearing on their own life whatsoever."  Maybe it's being an older dad, I thought I knew what everyone should be doing/not doing in my 20's, 30's it kinda mellowed out.  Now in my 40's with two young girls, I could give fuck one what anybody else is up to in their private/professional lives.  I'll go back to being an intrusive cunt in my 60's...but for now...I'm here to either help you out or get the fuck outta the way.  And no, I will not signal which way...blinker's busted.

2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Now in my 40's with two young girls, I could give fuck one what anybody else is up to in their private/professional lives.  I'll go back to being an intrusive cunt in my 60's...but for now...I'm here to either help you out or get the fuck outta the way.  And no, I will not signal which way...blinker's busted.

Having a kid is such an amazing change of perspective. My kid is happy healthy and beautiful. My family have everything they need. I feel like that alone is Mission Done and nirvana has been reached. 

The other pleasant thing I didnt expect is the strengthened bond with extended family. I love seeing parents and inlaws because kid gets to hang out with grannies. Also much closer with siblings and cousins when all the kiddos can play together. Everything else…yeah WGAF

 

Why couldn’t I make a business renting retail space in airports, chopping it up into little cubbies, and selling a nice quiet comfortable room to take a short nap in for $25/half hour?

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