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I just ate a lunch of sausage gravy. I was out of bread and eggs. I just at it out of the pan. It was good. 

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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On 2/13/2023 at 3:03 PM, YGIFS said:

They’re not Eskimo Brothers, they’re real brothers.  

Why not both?

Facebook reels I guess are basically tik toks for olds, and the algorithm seems to think I'm a fan of hot broads in skimpy clothes taking swings at Top Golf. These algorithms might be better than I give them credit for. 

Surly was down so I texted a friend and used "surly speak" to ask her a question in full asshole mode and I haven't heard from her in over 12 hours when she normally responds in minutes. Oops. I love you fuckers so hard right now.

4 hours ago, closetohumping said:

My manager telling me I can take the rest of the day off at 3 pm Friday.  Lulz. Been off fool!

 Been there man. Was in the middle of the back 9. 
 

“Oh really? Ok, cool.  Thanks.”

 

Sons & grandsons came up in a UHaul truck to shuffle some furniture around from late grandson’s townhouse condo.
Switching the loveseat in my man cave room with his full size leather couch that features two powered recliners (it used to belong to his dad).

The loveseat, a small barrel chair, another couch and a leather recliner will be divided up between Son2 and his oldest boy who is moving out to room with friends down in San Marcos.

 

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Hopefully you did a walkthrough of his house before his mom got there. Your family is right up there with Shooter, for me, as far as internet friends that I think about in real life. Glad you guys were able to get together to move your grandson’s stuff around and support each other. 

Starting to notice more and more labels say “made in PRC”, and im guessing its a pretty deliberate choice because they think its more palatable to more people than “made in China”

4 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Starting to notice more and more labels say “made in PRC”, and im guessing its a pretty deliberate choice because they think its more palatable to more people than “made in China”

I'm sure it is intentional because of the high percentage of morons in this world who don't know what PRC stands for.

4 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Starting to notice more and more labels say “made in PRC”, and im guessing its a pretty deliberate choice because they think its more palatable to more people than “made in China”

Is that close to the people’s republic of Austin?

No one else is disturbed about AB’s casting couch? 

1 hour ago, SurlyGator said:

I'm sure it is intentional because of the high percentage of morons in this world who don't know what PRC stands for.

You mean this fleece hat is not from Puerto RiCo?

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Dat ass the real MVP, Monae.  

My wife texted me to say she got a good raise, decent bonus and a bunch of stocks.

I think I'm going to celebrate by buying a few bottles of whisky "to share" with her tomorrow.

On 2/16/2023 at 11:24 AM, Not that Bob said:

I just ate a lunch of sausage gravy. I was out of bread and eggs. I just at it out of the pan. It was good. 

Your ass will be having a word with you shortly...

On 2/19/2023 at 9:29 AM, SurlyGator said:

I'm sure it is intentional because of the high percentage of morons in this world who don't know what PRC stands for.

 

On 2/19/2023 at 9:35 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Portable Radio Communications

It's Pro Rodeo Cowboys fellas...

For power switchs that are labeled “I/O” ive never in my life intuited which one means on and which means off

5 hours ago, 52-80 said:

For power switchs that are labeled “I/O” ive never in my life intuited which one means on and which means off

Think in Binary. 1 = on, 0 = off. 

6 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Scenario.  You have to take a dump and comb your hair.  Had to be in the same bathroom.  What do you do first?

Always combing before bombing...

or you could wind up a shit head.

Edited by SHOOTER12

12 hours ago, 52-80 said:

For power switchs that are labeled “I/O” ive never in my life intuited which one means on and which means off

If it's off and you want it on, just flip the switch.  If it's on and you want it off, just flip the switch.  Otherwise, just leave the switch alone.

4 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

If it's off and you want it on, just flip the switch.  If it's on and you want it off, just flip the switch.  Otherwise, just leave the switch alone.

Shark Tank Writing GIF

I can’t ride amusement rides or even those motion simulators where you sit in a chair and watch a 3D movie. 10 seconds in and I feel like projectile vomiting.

Kind of defeats the purpose of us getting season passes to Universal Studios, but at least the kids are old enough to go on rides by themselves.

 

OTOH, Super Nintendo Land is badass. It opened last Friday and it was crowded as hell. The line to the ride was 2 hours long, but they did a really good job with the queuing area making passing the time go just a little faster. Even though it’s a Mario Kart type ride, it didn’t move all that much and was fun as hell. 

11 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Think in Binary. 1 = on, 0 = off. 

i figured 0 = closed circuit figure but...WRONG

Does Rex Chapman follow everybody on Twitter?  JFC! 

So this bomb just got dropped on me. My brother in law was held at gunpoint last night at his place of work, they forced him into their car, and he was let out on the side of the road alive. They stole all of the money in the register and took his car. Got the car back a few hours later after they were pulled over by highway patrol. Dude is lucky to be alive.

That’s fucked up. Any speculation on why they took him?

Have you ever taken a drink while pissing, and then thought about it?

Have you ever taken a drink while pissing, and then thought about it?

You drink your piss? No I have never done that. Or thought about it.
8 minutes ago, tbone_ said:


You drink your piss? No I have never done that. Or thought about it.

No, just drinkin' a glass of water or beer or somethin' while you piss. And then thought for a second about what you were doing.

Fact: waterfall showerhead just makes life better.

 

Anyone use Outlook Online in dark mode?  makes it almost impossible to recognize unread email (bolded) right?

14 hours ago, 52-80 said:

i figured 0 = closed circuit figure but...WRONG

Someone wired it wrong then. Rewire it for them.

16 hours ago, Lurch said:

That’s fucked up. Any speculation on why they took him?

No idea. I guess they didn't want any witnesses but he doesn't have a cell phone. They probably ditched him thinking he's harmless (which he is but these people didn't know that). I really want to ask him the details but honestly I'm just glad he's alive and the rest of it is extra. 

5 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Musical theatre is the best theatre

I won't argue with that. 

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

We should just get rid of musicals. Banish them from existence. 

You are incorrect. 

On 2/22/2023 at 2:23 AM, 52-80 said:

Fact: waterfall showerhead just makes life better.

 

Anyone use Outlook Online in dark mode?  makes it almost impossible to recognize unread email (bolded) right?

 

I avoid dark mode. This is apparently a very hot take in the software world, but the impact on your vision is real.

 

4 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

We should just get rid of musicals. Banish them from existence. 

 

I regret I have but one neg to give you. Get the fuck outta here. THIS IS AMERICA!

 

19 minutes ago, Underdog said:

image.thumb.png.79e80ad62c5a495f76ba4666a4ba2083.png

 

 

This is the random thoughts that don't warrant a thread thread; random thots that don't warrant a thread is that way 👉

9 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I regret I have but one neg to give you. Get the fuck outta here. THIS IS AMERICA!

Whatever, Hamilton. 

On 2/5/2023 at 12:31 PM, Armybrat said:

Meh, Elvis didn’t move the needle much early on.
Friend of my brother had a local band that opened for him when he played the Skyline Ballroom about 1955.

Glen Campbell's first gig in CA was playing the bowling alley in Pomona on Tuesday nights.

On 2/6/2023 at 11:29 AM, Brothahorn said:

I understand Bonnie Raitt is a talented singer. But she is as much as a blues singer as I am pro bowl left tackle in the NFL. Somebody is lying.

She's a fucking fantastic singer.  

 

 

 

On 2/6/2023 at 3:39 PM, nnm said:

Yup. Was trying to get him to commit to saying that only people with the proper melanin level can be blues singers. But that’s a sliding scale, isn’t it? Just how much melanin do you need to be qualified to sing the blues?

Tell me Joe Cocker isn't a blues singer, and I'll tell you to fuck off. 

On 2/9/2023 at 9:13 PM, Superhero said:

We live right smack dab between an elementary and middle school. About a 5 minute walk in either direction.

My wife drove the kids to school today…

My ex-wife was a shitty human, but she walked my kid to school from K-5.  

On 2/13/2023 at 3:24 PM, Born to Run said:

Same same. I won't even caravan with my ladyfriend down to the coast. "How about we leave at the same time instead drive our own pace so I get there an hour sooner and get checked in and unpacked"
I'm not trying to spend 6 hours driving to port A

You don't ride in the same vehicle as your special lady? 

On 2/15/2023 at 1:48 PM, closetohumping said:

I'm a fan of canned peaches.

Do you eat them on the shitter? 

On 2/21/2023 at 5:40 PM, HRSchenker said:

So this bomb just got dropped on me. My brother in law was held at gunpoint last night at his place of work, they forced him into their car, and he was let out on the side of the road alive. They stole all of the money in the register and took his car. Got the car back a few hours later after they were pulled over by highway patrol. Dude is lucky to be alive.

He kidnapped himself.  He owes money all over town.

That pink-purple gnat puppet on sesame street is quite creepy looking. 
 

not cute. 

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