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Ha.  I need the middle-age, coming down from husky section sized area.  Is that a thing?  I dropped like 40 pounds in my mid-40's and my dick got almost a full inch longer as my gut shrank.  But then my balls also dropped more.  And now I don't know what kinda underwear to get.  

Hope you fuckers enjoy your dinner!  ;)  

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Posted Images

2 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

236d0f1626c9a77542fd4389bdca8693.jpg
Is Curvy the new plus size? Half this store…

playing-jazz-flute-lizzo.gif

The Riverwalk sure seems to appeal to the sort of guys who insist on holding hands with their girlfriend while walking around in public. 

The Riverwalk sure seems to appeal to the sort of guys who insist on holding hands with their girlfriend while walking around in public. 

Wives trying to keep them from jumping in the river to get away from the riverwalk.
1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

The Riverwalk sure seems to appeal to the sort of guys who insist on holding hands with their girlfriend while walking around in public. 

Come on man! Holding hands in public is sure puss, and no one wants to put up with the River Walk unless there's sure puss at the end. 

if you're over 20 years old you can find a better adjective for something you like, rather than "siccccckkkkkk"

World’s most popular accents. Prolly should be named celebrities I’ve heard with accents. I’m calling BS on this list with Penelope Cruz and Sophia Vergara so high on the list. Beautiful women, but living with those accents 24/7 for any length of time would have you looking for a short rope and a tall branch! First American is Matthew pretty far down the list.
5fd40bc541e5547912ce6280e155af38.jpg

https://word.tips/worlds-favorite-accents/

i want willem dafoe to read me bedtime stories

Not trying to sound too cool for school but i don't know who many of those people are but two observations:

1.  McConaughey is our global representation?  I love the guy but his voice and lateral jaw swing deal bug the shit outta me.  

2.  Idris Alba's accent is liquid silk.  If I ever have to swing the other way, he's my first call.  

58 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

i want willem dafoe to read me bedtime stories


Better than Keith Morrison. 

The genius of Weird Al is nowhere near being correctly appreciated by our society.

2 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

World’s most popular accents. Prolly should be named celebrities I’ve heard with accents. I’m calling BS on this list with Penelope Cruz and Sophia Vergara so high on the list. Beautiful women, but living with those accents 24/7 for any length of time would have you looking for a short rope and a tall branch! First American is Matthew pretty far down the list.
5fd40bc541e5547912ce6280e155af38.jpg

https://word.tips/worlds-favorite-accents/

No Minnie Driver?

I watched the Tarzan movie just to hear her voice. 

2 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

World’s most popular accents. Prolly should be named celebrities I’ve heard with accents. I’m calling BS on this list with Penelope Cruz and Sophia Vergara so high on the list. Beautiful women, but living with those accents 24/7 for any length of time would have you looking for a short rope and a tall branch! First American is Matthew pretty far down the list.
5fd40bc541e5547912ce6280e155af38.jpg

https://word.tips/worlds-favorite-accents/

I know she's gone now, but the correct answer is Olivia Newton-John, 

grease-lg.jpg

I changed my Siri voice to Australian female cause of her, but Siri sounds older, and I think she weighs more. 

Emma Watson sounds like Olivia Newton-John with a nasal infection. 

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

No James Earl Jones completely invalidates this list

This. No Craig Ferguson or Shirley Manson is suspect too.

 

18 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

The Riverwalk sure seems to appeal to the sort of guys who insist on holding hands with their girlfriend while walking around in public. 

That will be me in 3 weeks.  Celebrating our 9th anniversary.  There will be lots of puss involved.  

19 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Ha.  I need the middle-age, coming down from husky section sized area.  Is that a thing?  I dropped like 40 pounds in my mid-40's and my dick got almost a full inch longer as my gut shrank.  But then my balls also dropped more.  And now I don't know what kinda underwear to get.  

Hope you fuckers enjoy your dinner!  ;)  

Separatec Everyday.  Game changer.

Separatec Men's Comfortable Soft Cotton Dual Pouch Colorful Underwear

Needed a new bedside mag charger for the phone and it came in.

I may have more usb wall charging blocks in my possession than the Amazon DC in SE dallas.

good lord, trim your thumb hairs you fucking yard-ape 

Edited by YGIFS

First s’more of the
CEB95E43-352D-4E07-86C7-0AFE9B598D20.thumb.jpeg.6020c90bb67f61a6903dbcd46f077b5e.jpeg
 
 

Replace hersheys chocolate with warm Reese’s peanut butter cups. Something I came up with on the beach in Oregon while on gummies many years ago.

Replace hersheys chocolate with warm Reese’s peanut butter cups. Something I came up with on the beach in Oregon while on gummies many years ago.

Like fuck you did, motherfucker….we have a frito pie and s’mores party every year, and we’ve been doing the Reese’s move as long as I can remember.

But, I mean…I guess true genius can spring from many fonts. Carry on.

By modern interpretation, I may or may not have raped my wife the first time had sex. 


Like fuck you did, motherfucker….we have a frito pie and s’mores party every year, and we’ve been doing the Reese’s move as long as I can remember.

But, I mean…I guess true genius can spring from many fonts. Carry on.

Mine was about 2002 or 2003 when I came up with it. Oregon beach at about 50 degrees in august.

I was first. Eat shit brisket.
By modern interpretation, I may or may not have raped my wife the first time had sex. 

37f110fca38a7ee0a37827d1860aff6e.jpg
3 hours ago, Not that Bob said:

What is a "shit brisket"?

Dickey's?

Was eating a fresh watermelon and had this thought, at some point we ate a watermelon slice with the black seeds for the last time and didn’t realize it.

I remember as a kid that’s just how it was, before GMO completely (for the better don’t get me wrong) changed the game so now all watermelons you buy at stores are seedless.

I suppose you can go buy a watermelon from a farmer or small farmers market for the nostalgia of eating around and spitting the seeds, but it’s been at least a decade since I’ve had anything but seedless.

But it’s strange our imagery and illustrations of watermelon still incorporate the black seeds. Even the iPhone emoji as I type this on my phone.

13 hours ago, Superhero said:

By modern interpretation, I may or may not have raped my wife the first time had sex. 

Don't feel too bad about it. A lot of us have forced ourselves upon your wife. 

43 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

 


There it is.

 


The judges would have also accepted, “anywhere in Kansas City.”

14 hours ago, Superhero said:

By modern interpretation, I may or may not have raped my wife the first time had sex. 

Youre safe now

MV5BNjM3ZjZiNjgtODE0Yi00NDUxLWE4MDctMDEz

 

Pretty wild to me that not-too-long ago, there was a viable, lucrative, international ice trade

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_trade

I get that before electrical ice production, you have to harvest it from somewhere. I just thought it would be a local business….not something you could economically carve from a lake in Boston and ship across the atlantic to India. 

On 5/26/2023 at 10:24 PM, Brisketexan said:


Like fuck you did, motherfucker….we have a frito pie and s’mores party every year, and we’ve been doing the Reese’s move as long as I can remember.

But, I mean…I guess true genius can spring from many fonts. Carry on.

I don’t remember which one of you slapdicks suggested Reese’s s’mores, but we’ve been doing them for quite a while, and it was directly from Shaggy. 
And to think that my therapist said nothing good comes from this site…. 

Just heard a Milli Vanilli song on an 80s channel.

Who gets the royalties? I know Vanilli, or maybe Milli, is no longer with us but do they see any of that?

57 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

Just heard a Milli Vanilli song on an 80s channel.

Who gets the royalties? I know Vanilli, or maybe Milli, is no longer with us but do they see any of that?

On broadcasts, one of the artist's right's agencies, BMI, ASCAP, etc. collects royalties and distributes them.

Most likely to the deceased one's heirs.

2 hours ago, gofuckyourself said:

Just heard a Milli Vanilli song on an 80s channel.

Who gets the royalties? I know Vanilli, or maybe Milli, is no longer with us but do they see any of that?

good chance they probably sold off all the rights to it when their careers tanked

tangent to this... taylor swift had a publicized controversy where basically she didn't like 1 dude who ended up with the ownership of her first few albums.  after a bunch of legal back and forth, she and her team decided to simply re-record all those albums under a new label.  that slick bitch

1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

On broadcasts, one of the artist's right's agencies, BMI, ASCAP, etc. collects royalties and distributes them.

Most likely to the deceased one's heirs.

Maybe it goes to the guys who actually sang their songs. 

46 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Maybe it goes to the guys who actually sang their songs. 

That was more my thought. Then again want the whole thing set up as a fake from the beginning? So the payments were set up presumably as well.

Seems like this would be a compelling documentary or Netflix style show, if it hasn't been done already.

Working title: Girl You Know It Isn't True 

Edited by gofuckyourself

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Maybe it goes to the guys who actually sang their songs. 

No, those guys were almost certainly studio musicians who got paid a flat fee for their work and relinquished all royalty rights. Same with studio musicians everywhere. 

19 minutes ago, nnm said:

No, those guys were almost certainly studio musicians who got paid a flat fee for their work and relinquished all royalty rights. Same with studio musicians everywhere. 

I know. I was just having fun drawing attention to the fact that Milli Vanilli didn’t sing their own songs. 

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