Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

Why is everything that gets put in a pussy used as an insult?  Douche nozzle, dick, dildo, etc.

I don’t know Zucchini (or what other insult to call you, eggplant, squash, cucumber)?
  • Replies 11.2k
  • Views 721.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Posted Images

9 hours ago, General Specific said:

I don’t know Zucchini (or what other insult to call you, eggplant, squash, cucumber)?

Username trying to check out. 

21 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Why is everything that gets put in a pussy used as an insult?  Douche nozzle, dick, dildo, etc.

Jealousy.

its pretty sad/pathetic that basically all traditional news entities now engage in online affiliate marketing.  NYT's wirecutter is the most prominent, but i remember seeing virtually every outlet with a page disclosing their affiliate marketing scheme and agreements...almost always for tech gadgets.

 

like... hey please grab the latest copy of US News and World Report for our latest college rankings... oh by the way would you be interested in some JBL Headphones???

me with a dedicated home-office for the last decade

Home-office-with-a-view-900x701.jpg

me when actually working from home

couch-computer.jpg

 

1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

Idk man


I bought a truck in less time than my current phone, or previous models.

 

9 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Anything worse than buying furniture?

What are you looking for and where are you looking?

I need a new couch and can’t seem to find anything good. 

On 6/12/2023 at 1:08 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Why is everything that gets put in a pussy used as an insult?  Douche nozzle, dick, dildo, etc.

Fucking fluconazole

45 minutes ago, Superhero said:

What are you looking for and where are you looking?

I need a new couch and can’t seem to find anything good. 

slightly used.  in great shape.

1200px-Backroom_Casting_Couch,_Original,

 

 

...

 

 

Edited by 52-80

3 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

slightly used.  in great shape.

1200px-Backroom_Casting_Couch,_Original,

 

 

is it a pull out couch?

13 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Anything worse than buying furniture?

Moving. Next time I move it's to a prison or a hospital.

10 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Moving. Next time I move it's to a prison or a hospital.

<insertwhynotboth.gif>

4 hours ago, Superhero said:

What are you looking for and where are you looking?

I need a new couch and can’t seem to find anything good. 

Couch.   Delivery date keeps getting pushed back.  Fucks

For all the praise iphone camera and app deservedly gets….all the portrait modes are straight ass, and most of the standard photo filters are terrible 

Having to re-think an 8 year friendship. This man(not sure about that anyore) just paid some company to come out and clean his bbq grill. If you are man enough to bbq, you should be man enough to clean it.

I didn't even know there were companies that specialized in that. And it wasn't cheap either. 46f10a218d7c07d00ffde554667336e1.gif

Maybe it was a birthday gift from his wife.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

"A blowjob"

"Seriously. What do you want"

"I told you."

"Well your not getting that"

"Then go clean the grill"

"Done"

Just ordered oil change stuff from Walmart this morning as they have it cheapest. Thought about picking it up, but said screw it, I don't even feel like doing that. Free shipping (without any sort of membership needed) and it says it will get here tomorrow. Score!

Just got a text saying the delivery will be here in 10 minutes. Click on it, and there's an Uber-like map where you can track the car delivering. So I'm getting my stuff about five hours after I ordered it with no shipping fee or membership. That's insane to me.

Having to re-think an 8 year friendship. This man(not sure about that anyore) just paid some company to come out and clean his bbq grill. If you are man enough to bbq, you should be man enough to clean it.

I didn't even know there were companies that specialized in that. And it wasn't cheap either. 46f10a218d7c07d00ffde554667336e1.gif

“Clean BBQ grill” = “let’s see how hot I can get it today” at my house
14 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Just ordered oil change stuff from Walmart this morning as they have it cheapest. Thought about picking it up, but said screw it, I don't even feel like doing that. Free shipping (without any sort of membership needed) and it says it will get here tomorrow. Score!

Just got a text saying the delivery will be here in 10 minutes. Click on it, and there's an Uber-like map where you can track the car delivering. So I'm getting my stuff about five hours after I ordered it with no shipping fee or membership. That's insane to me.

Lol. It was one quart of motor oil. The rest is set to come later.

On 6/14/2023 at 10:25 PM, Brothahorn said:

I didn't even know there were companies that specialized in that. And it wasn't cheap either.

cat-newspaper.gif

 

 

How long does it normally take for a murder case to go to trial after the suspect has been arrested? 

Took my kid to the Dr for her 11 year old shots. Hard to believe we’ve had to keep around and still use a paper shot record for her since she was an infant. You’d think that info would all be available online somewhere.

4 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

How long does it normally take for a murder case to go to trial after the suspect has been arrested? 

About the time it takes to get motor oil from Wal-Mart.  

3 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Took my kid to the Dr for her 11 year old shots. Hard to believe we’ve had to keep around and still use a paper shot record for her since she was an infant. You’d think that info would all be available online somewhere.

Funny you should mention that.  We had a pitch competition from incoming UT students and one was about digitized health records.  And it was just baffling to hear young people talk about how everything they have ever known in their entire life has been digital/online.  Except their health records.  For the supposed "Best health care system in the world", we really do have a lot of shit ass-backwards.  


“Clean BBQ grill” = “let’s see how hot I can get it today” at my house

This. Fuck cleaning. Just scrub the last shit off with a wire brush before you throw the current shit on.
1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

About the time it takes to get motor oil from Wal-Mart.  

Friend of mine got murdered in November of 2020. They caught the guy in January of 2021 but he's been locked up in the county jail since then. Haven't heard anything about a trial 

Just send me the details and the guy never sees his trial date.  

2 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

Friend of mine got murdered in November of 2020. They caught the guy in January of 2021 but he's been locked up in the county jail since then. Haven't heard anything about a trial 

Things can get dragged on and on if one side or the other so desires. I would think that after 2+ years they would have their shit together. But maybe the defense is stalling. 

This is from that Nextdoor forum…..

Quote

Hello all,
I want to warn you all that the Kia Tic Tok Challenge has hit our neighborhood.  Last Sunday night, teenagers attempted to steal my 2015 Kia Rio with a phone charger. They ripped up the ignition so bad that it would take 3 months to fix. I called APD, and after a week, my case is still not assigned to anyone. I had to collect my own evidence, which included a very clear fingerprint and the phone cord they used. The only reason they didn't actually get the car is because they couldn't drive a manual. Please share if you see and media uploads with this vehicle.  Thanks

 

Driving home this afternoon going about 82 in a 75 on an almost empty highway and passed a guy doing about 70. Went about 5 miles without coming up on another vehicle before I remembered and moved back to the right lane. Pretty sure that still makes me the asshole. ( in this instance anyway)

Couch finally got here.  Don’t love it

 

tipped the movers.   They said I was only the second person out of ten deliveries to do it.  Come on cheap skates!

 

on that note, feels like I’m always last on the delivery route no matter what I’m getting delivered.  
 

cross posting.  I broke one of my ice cube trays.  Old man strength.  

Wearing shoes into your house, especially if you have carpet, is disgusting.

There’s a CYE for this

Shopping yesterday and my 11 year old kid sees a 3k couch she really likes for her room. I tell her no, we’re not spending 3 grand on a couch for her bedroom that would just be full of her piled up clothes within a day. She begs and says the tag advertises it’s just 300 a month for 5 years! I try explaining to her that that’s $18,000.00 but that’s just beyond her comprehension. Don’t know what they’re teaching in school nowadays but it may explain how some kids get into so much student loan debt.

Almost forgot about the time of the State of Texas Sesquicentennial festivities in 1986 when the Prince of Wales dropped by Austin for a short visit. 
He met local celebrities including Lady Bird Johnson, Walter Cronkite, & Willie Nelson. 
He even was asked to cut the giant Texas birthday cake which was on a platform that filled an entire basketball court downtown.
Afterwards, the Austin Mayor invited the public to come on down an take as much cake as they wanted. 
So the wife & I plus our 3 sons drove downtown in her Chevy station wagon, parked, then went into the arena and carried out big sheets of the cake that filled the back end of the car.
Of course when we got home, the boys pigged out on the cake which surprisingly was really good. 
The next morning I drove wife’s car to school and drafted some of my students in each class to bring in a couple of cake sections and serve it to all their classmates on paper towels. We had plenty for all 150 kids in each of the six class periods. 
 

C471991D-B3F0-49AA-8114-9B02BF0031D1.jpeg

DEE74F7F-9DD3-46F9-B348-AF49052F816A.jpeg

A499840F-3088-460F-8F76-E4E04E31D006.jpeg

Society has reached a certain peak of luxury when there is a class of people whose profession is xxx Critic.

Art Critic; Architecture Critic; Urban Critic; etc...

23 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Shopping yesterday and my 11 year old kid sees a 3k couch she really likes for her room. I tell her no, we’re not spending 3 grand on a couch for her bedroom that would just be full of her piled up clothes within a day. She begs and says the tag advertises it’s just 300 a month for 5 years! I try explaining to her that that’s $18,000.00 but that’s just beyond her comprehension. Don’t know what they’re teaching in school nowadays but it may explain how some kids get into so much student loan debt.

I can promise you from personal experience with folks of all stripes.  We absolutely, and very purposely do not teach financial literacy to young people.   Because none of the rest of this illusion would work.  Parents and teachers alike beg for it.  And our compromise is always the same---we will give you some materials on how to teach them to balance a checkbook by hand.  You know?  That totally relevant skill that hasn't at all been replaced by technology.  From the ISD boards I serve on, even to UT, and certainly the bank we operate...the entire scheme relies on a complete and total lack of information.  And when you do get it, it's a pamphlet with a sized Zero font written in what is probably Aramaic.  

We just finished up our academy for first generation students of color to attend to college as they rise up for university.  We cover all kinda topics.  I used to crack wise with them, "There is no room of people trying to prevent you from making smart financial decisions as you enter college---from credit cards, to loans, to grants and scholarships, to budgeting, all of it."  Then I found myself in one of those rooms.  I don't know how in the fuck we made it this far.  /csb

11 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

And when you do get it, it's a pamphlet with a sized Zero font written in what is probably *Aramaic.  

*Comic Sans

 

I said Aramaic.  As in modern day Iraq/Jordan.  And you missed the chance to use "Comic Sands" 

I mean, I know it's early man...but are you even trying anymore?  

1 minute ago, YGIFS said:

I said Aramaic.  As in modern day Iraq/Jordan.  And you missed the chance to use "Comic Sands" 

I mean, I know it's early man...but are you even trying anymore?  

Stressed George Costanza GIF by HULU

3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Society has reached a certain peak of luxury when there is a class of people whose profession is xxx Critic.

Art Critic; Architecture Critic; Urban Critic; etc...

You should read the Austin Skyscraper forum.

Those guys have been wishing for years to see massive buildings to go up downtown. 
Then when some of them get built, they criticize the architecture & materials used…..”do not like it at all”.

 

17 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

You should read the Austin Skyscraper forum.

Those guys have been wishing for years to see massive buildings to go up downtown. 
Then when some of them get built, they criticize the architecture & materials used…..”do not like it at all”.

 

Yeah,  but did you see the one with the blue glass?  

7 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah,  but did you see the one with the blue glass?  

Now they’re bitching because there’s too much “blue glass”.

Oh wait, my bad.  I was talking about crystal meth.  

45 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

You should read the Austin Skyscraper forum.

Those guys have been wishing for years to see massive buildings to go up downtown. 
Then when some of them get built, they criticize the architecture & materials used…..”do not like it at all”.

I was on a tourism website (restaurant recommendations and such) where they also had interviews with various locals for their perspective on things.  The people were listed variously as "journalists" "historians" "museum curator"... and then a bunch of "XXX critics".

Sure everyone is titled to have an opinion on things, but how does that become your identity or profession?  "Yeah I reflect on urban structural development and blog about it"

 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.