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College Gameday is solid because it puts you in football mood. 

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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Just now, Dbeasy said:

College Gameday is solid because it puts you in football mood. 

I'm always in a football mood.

1 minute ago, Dbeasy said:

College Gameday is solid because it puts you in football mood. 

What puts me in a football mood is when I turn on the TV at 2:30 and the ball is kicked off at 2:35.

I didn’t realize John mueller had died.

This isn’t very cool so I can’t put the pic there. But it’s kind of cool. If this one egg had been fertilized then it would’ve produced (fraternal) twins. I was making an omelette and it was the 3rd egg I cracked into the bowl, otherwise I would’ve cooked it sunny side up to get a pic of a fried egg with a double yolk. I did notice that its shell was a little longer on the y axis than the others’ but didn’t think anything of it before I cracked it  

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That looks like Jennifer Lopez's ass. Let us know how it tasted.

With the Horn moved over to 101.9, I now hear Jim Rome in the afternoon. Who the hell listens to that moron. He’s an asswhip. While we’re at it, who the hell watches Skip Bayless? He’s an even bigger asswhip. 
Can't believe Jim is even still on the air.

WAR TEXAS..OUT

The Women’s volleyball event in Nebraska is pretty cool.  

I swear time has slowed down or maybe even stopped. Anxious as hell to get this day over with. Tired of this lady I am working with and her total inability to communicate. It’s the end of my work week, looking at a 4 day weekend. Pops is on the mend from heart surgery. Horns play Saturday, going to get some bbq tomorrow. This day needs to hurry the fuckity fuck up already.

1 hour ago, Patricio Swayze said:

I swear time has slowed down or maybe even stopped. Anxious as hell to get this day over with. Tired of this lady I am working with and her total inability to communicate. It’s the end of my work week, looking at a 4 day weekend. Pops is on the mend from heart surgery. Horns play Saturday, going to get some bbq tomorrow. This day needs to hurry the fuckity fuck up already.

Some decent football on tonight, too. 

Just now, Kennythetiger said:

Some decent football on tonight, too. 

The last 4-5 years on opening weekend, I always say "Football starts tonight and I'm gonna watch it, regardless of who's playing". I never make it more than a drive or two before I get disinterested and turn it off. Getting old is a bitch. 

Just now, Sandman said:

The last 4-5 years on opening weekend, I always say "Football starts tonight and I'm gonna watch it, regardless of who's playing". I never make it more than a drive or two before I get disinterested and turn it off. Getting old is a bitch. 

I at least fall asleep watching it. 

Dilemma. I just finished making 4 pounds of taco meat when I saw the Fed Ex guy pull up outside. Went out to take the package from him and when I walked back into the kitchen my wife’s cat had its face buried in the pot eating away. My wife and daughter are at a meeting and will be home in a few minutes and they’d freak completely out and refuse to touch a bite of the meat if they knew what happened. I already know what I’m going to do, the dilemma is on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, just how bad should I feel?

Dilemma. I just finished making 4 pounds of taco meat when I saw the Fed Ex guy pull up outside. Went out to take the package from him and when I walked back into the kitchen my wife’s cat had its face buried in the pot eating away. My wife and daughter are at a meeting and will be home in a few minutes and they’d freak completely out and refuse to touch a bite of the meat if they knew what happened. I already know what I’m going to do, the dilemma is on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, just how bad should I feel?

0. Heat it up, serve, enjoy.

Had dinner tonight with some longtime friends from work.  The 4 of us have 140 years of experience, and 2 of them also  have about 20 years of retirement between them.

Nobody ever talks about the respect and brotherly love you end up having for some folks who are just supposed to be co-workers.  Hurricanes/ holiday weeks( crazy in the grocery industry,) and constantly being there for each other just makes some shit different.

It was a very meaningful evening...

Think he requested this one?

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19 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Dilemma. I just finished making 4 pounds of taco meat when I saw the Fed Ex guy pull up outside. Went out to take the package from him and when I walked back into the kitchen my wife’s cat had its face buried in the pot eating away. My wife and daughter are at a meeting and will be home in a few minutes and they’d freak completely out and refuse to touch a bite of the meat if they knew what happened. I already know what I’m going to do, the dilemma is on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, just how bad should I feel?

So your wife’s pussy had its face buried deep in some taco meat huh?

Sydney Sweeney has the highest possible numerator and denominator in the "dumb face to those titties ain't dumb" ratio where your quotient still comes out to 1.   

Sucks to hear about Jimmy Buffett, but we can all find some solace in the hopes that this puts an end to any future gatherings of Parrotheads.

rice is a 80 cent penalty

 

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11 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Molly Yeh is adorable. 

Quick google search, yup, pretty cute.

Random thought from my end - Chinese dad with an American Jewish mom. But from the photos I can’t tell that she has any Asian features. 

2 hours ago, Superhero said:

Quick google search, yup, pretty cute.

Random thought from my end - Chinese dad with an American Jewish mom. But from the photos I can’t tell that she has any Asian features. 

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Sucks to hear about Jimmy Buffett, but we can all find some solace in the hopes that this puts an end to any future gatherings of Parrotheads.
They will probably keep touring with a Buffet hologram. That way the estate can keep selling Margaritaville: the shirt, the mug, ashtray, flashlight, buttplug, adult diapers, salsa etc


And my inlaws will go.

I don't think it's passive/aggressive if I forward the email that I sent you less than two weeks ago. You are asking for the same information I already sent you. I'm just nicely telling you to pay f'ing attention.

Ive just learned 3 minutes ago that the distinction between bar- vs bat- mitzvah is based on the gender of the subject. 
 

(for modern kids tho? Theyre going to have to invent a whole new alphabet for it)

26 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:

I don't think it's passive/aggressive if I forward the email that I sent you less than two weeks ago. You are asking for the same information I already sent you. I'm just nicely telling you to pay f'ing attention.

2 weeks is my threshold for repeating a non-critical email that went unanswered. Its when I start getting snippy, and just before i start cc’ing other people in it. 

18 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

2 weeks is my threshold for repeating a non-critical email that went unanswered. Its when I start getting snippy, and just before i start cc’ing other people in it. 


Staring Star Wars GIF by Disney+

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

2 weeks is my threshold for repeating a non-critical email that went unanswered. Its when I start getting snippy, and just before i start cc’ing other people in it. 

Hey everyone! Look at what this asshole is ignoring!

I like that.

3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Ive just learned 3 minutes ago that the distinction between bar- vs bat- mitzvah is based on the gender of the subject. 
 

(for modern kids tho? Theyre going to have to invent a whole new alphabet for it)

Kinda like inventing a whole new Spanish language because the original is inextricably based on two genders? 

nm. Double post

Edited by nnm

I ordered a new Texas shirt from Homefield. Ordered it on August 22 and it's still not here yet. They say they print them all in house, so it was roughly two weeks before it even shipped. Now it's somewhere in Kentucky and taking its sweet time.

Love the look of the shirt, but damn. $40 for a t-shirt that takes three weeks to arrive? Won't be doing that again.

Edited by FirstTimeCaller

35 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

I ordered a new Texas shirt from Homefield. Ordered it on August 22 and it's still not here yet. They say they print them all in house, so it was roughly two weeks before it even shipped. Now it's somewhere in Kentucky and taking its sweet time.

Love the look of the shirt, but damn. $40 for a t-shirt that takes three weeks to arrive? Won't be doing that again.

Tshirt fan status confirmed. 

Who is TA here? I’m team Weaver given Seaver’s body language  

 

2 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

Seager asked for it. 

Should have thrown it at his head.

My cousin in Kentucky just unexpectedly received a Texas shirt. 

4 hours ago, nnm said:

Who is TA here? I’m team Weaver given Seaver’s body language  

Yes.

 

On 8/30/2023 at 2:00 PM, Superhero said:

That looks like Jennifer Lopez's ass. Let us know how it tasted.

 

So, I just got an email in my normal new email inbox.

The subject title was " Your Apple ID has been suspended" 

So yeah, I know thats a phish email send to millions of email addresses. 

but here is my bitch.

 

How in the holy fuck could THAT subject title be allowed to be delivered to ANY fucking email address if the fucking sender isnt from the known Apple notifications email???

 

how on earth have the email companies NOT been able to figure out to write codes that have specific brand name companies or streaming services "account is locked" emails get auto filtered as non-deliverable?

example:

"Your Netflix account has been compromised"  sent from  netf1ix12345678910@netflix.yahoo.com

"your Verizon account has been hacked" sent from  Vereezon3@dewey.screwum.and.howe.com

seriously I know it wouldnt kill all spam but holy fuck it would cut down on 90% of the stuff that gets older folks especially  in trouble.  

 

On 9/8/2023 at 1:34 PM, nnm said:

Who is TA here? I’m team Weaver given Seaver’s body language  

 

I'm wondering why this eight year old video is suddenly flooding the Twitters?

I consider myself a man of the people, a champion of blue collar workers , hustlers and Immigrants.  But my Lyft driver was video conferencing his buddies on my ride from Manhattan to jfk.  I reported him 

The parishioners at my wife's Catholic church accept that Jesus was crucified, died, and resurrected on a different date every single year, according to a calendar that did not yet exist based on the Spring Solstice, A Full Moon, and the following Sunday.  And that we are to commemorate this miracle by hiding colored eggs for children and eating the one food he was forbidden to eat-Ham.  But they don't believe me when I say we shouldn't refer to the Easter Bunny as "He/Him" because it's to represent fertility, so the Easter Bunny is female.  That's just a bridge too far.  Sure enough every year, the kids ask us, "I wonder what he'll bring me?" or "I wanna take a picture with him!"   

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Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations