Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

When chicken tenders are half off, you know why:

 

  • Replies 11.2k
  • Views 721.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Posted Images

If the lyrics are true, did the crew on the Edmund Fitzgerald die on a empty stomach? 

Edited by Underdog

15 hours ago, Underdog said:

If the lyrics are true, did the crew on the Edmund Fitzgerald die on a empty stomach? 

Nah. They were full of water.

the prequel to "inception" has already been made.  The technology for dream transfers was borne from the government research in "Dreamscape" starring the great Dennis Quaid.  

I'm sad those Hitler parody/dubbed videos went away.  A good one could be made about Texas/Clemson winning and Hitler aggy reacting.

On ‎1‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 11:15 AM, PilotsError said:

I'm sad those Hitler parody/dubbed videos went away.  A good one could be made about Texas/Clemson winning and Hitler aggy reacting.

No doubt. Is there ever a time when Hitler ISN'T funny?

1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

No doubt. Is there ever a time when Hitler ISN'T funny?

Well there's that whole "Final Solution" thing, but who's keeping count?

1 minute ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Well there's that whole "Final Solution" thing, but who's keeping count?

Fake news. I know, because I read a flyer taped to the back of a bus stop bench once.

3 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Fake news. I know, because I read a flyer taped to the back of a bus stop bench once.

injustica.gif

Cool starry bra:  

After our then 3-year-old daughter spent a weekend with my wife's mother, she came home and asked "Why would a dog look in my armpit for Jews?"

Turns out, the mother-in-law has this game where a finger-puppet dog is "looking for juice" in various silly places. I still can't read a breakfast drink menu without chuckling inappropriately.

Why is Anna Kendrick famous?  She has a rodent face, horrible body and annoying personality.  Granted, I get this only from the Hilton commercials b/c I don't think I've ever seen her in anything.  But, damn, I don't get it...at all. 

8 hours ago, bluto said:

Small tight body with a decent rack... no thx!

Sorry, we only date 10's.

11 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Why is Anna Kendrick famous?  She has a rodent face, horrible body and annoying personality.  Granted, I get this only from the Hilton commercials b/c I don't think I've ever seen her in anything.  But, damn, I don't get it...at all. 

But that cup song that one time, though. And she's so quirky!

2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

How is The Blue Man Group still a thing? 

I saw them in Vegas in 2001. I considered dropping acid for the show. I decided not to because my friends weren't into it and I would've been flying solo. About 30 seconds into the show I realized I'd made a big mistake.  I should've dosed. 

How is was The Blue Man Group still ever a thing? 


fify

How come HEB organic milk has an expiration date that is about two months down the road when you buy it by the half gallon, but only 10-12 days down the road when you buy it by the gallon?  I've noticed this for years. Yesterday I went to buy a gallon, and the expiration date was January 25.  The expiration date on the half gallons is March 12.

Milk was a bad choice!

one day I will pick up my daughter for the last time but I won’t know that when it happens.  And one day she will fall asleep on a sofa or chair, and instead of my carrying her to bed where she’ll wake up the next morning, she’ll just wake up there herself and go on about her day.  And a bit of her childhood will be over.  

12 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Milk was a bad choice!

one day I will pick up my daughter for the last time but I won’t know that when it happens.  And one day she will fall asleep on a sofa or chair, and instead of my carrying her to bed where she’ll wake up the next morning, she’ll just wake up there herself and go on about her day.  And a bit of her childhood will be over.  

Someday Traces of Texas will do a story about how your daugher became the most famous Texas stripper of all time

5 hours ago, Lobo said:

Milk was a bad choice!

one day I will pick up my daughter for the last time but I won’t know that when it happens.  And one day she will fall asleep on a sofa or chair, and instead of my carrying her to bed where she’ll wake up the next morning, she’ll just wake up there herself and go on about her day.  And a bit of her childhood will be over.  

This sofa.... black? Bonded leather?

Just got back from Vegas yesterday.  Usually going through security there has a pretty long line.  Not this time, TSA gave no fucks.  Keep your belts and shoes on, don't take laptops out of bags, just throw your shit on the X-ray belt and walk through the old metal detector.  And there was no line at all.  Shutdown doing some good.  No CR.

On 1/17/2019 at 7:27 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

How is The Blue Man Group still a thing? 

Meh. You can still buy slinkies. And how long did 'Cats' play on Broadway? I do have to admit, though, I was perfectly fine with just seeing Blue Man one time on a late night talk show. I certainly wouldn't have paid money for a full evening of them.

11 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Just got back from Vegas yesterday.  Usually going through security there has a pretty long line.  Not this time, TSA gave no fucks.  Keep your belts and shoes on, don't take laptops out of bags, just throw your shit on the X-ray belt and walk through the old metal detector.  And there was no line at all.  Shutdown doing some good.  No CR.

first time with TSA Pre-Check?

 I’m probably late to the party, but I was watching Den of Thieves earlier and  thought I recognized one of the cops on that movie. Sure enough, it was Nate Boyer.

 Looks like he’s starting an acting/producing career. Wasn’t bad either. 

http://imdb.com/name/nm7870063/

Edited by GotThatFire

How come HEB organic milk has an expiration date that is about two months down the road when you buy it by the half gallon, but only 10-12 days down the road when you buy it by the gallon?  I've noticed this for years. Yesterday I went to buy a gallon, and the expiration date was January 25.  The expiration date on the half gallons is March 12.

The half gallon is UHT. If it were in better packaging (i.e. tetrapak) it wouldn't need refrigeration.  

 

 

The gallon is probably UHT as well but the packaging is even crudier (the gallons leak around the top).

On 1/17/2019 at 3:39 PM, Hornius Emeritus said:

How come HEB organic milk has an expiration date that is about two months down the road when you buy it by the half gallon, but only 10-12 days down the road when you buy it by the gallon?  I've noticed this for years. Yesterday I went to buy a gallon, and the expiration date was January 25.  The expiration date on the half gallons is March 12.

Obviously radioactive. Half-life math.

In the song SICKO MODE, Drake states that "half a xan" puts him out like a light for a 13 hour flight.  Maybe I have a low dosage, but really?  You would need to take an incredibly large amount of xanax to put you out "like a light" for any amount of time, much less than 13 hours.  This doesn't get talked about enough.

Edited by Fozzz

13 hours ago, Lone Star Horn said:

first time with TSA Pre-Check?

No.  It wasn't pre check it was the regular security checkpoint.

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

The half gallon is UHT. If it were in better packaging (i.e. tetrapak) it wouldn't need refrigeration.  

 

 

The gallon is probably UHT as well but the packaging is even crudier (the gallons leak around the top).


Why would they have different milks for different containers?   Why would they go to that expense?  Damnit, I want answers!

7 minutes ago, Hornius Emeritus said:


Why would they have different milks for different containers?   Why would they go to that expense?  Damnit, I want answers!

different suppliers, maybe?

Drake is a pussy, that’s why 1/2 of a “xan” would knock him out.  

Just got back from Vegas yesterday.  Usually going through security there has a pretty long line.  Not this time, TSA gave no fucks.  Keep your belts and shoes on, don't take laptops out of bags, just throw your shit on the X-ray belt and walk through the old metal detector.  And there was no line at all.  Shutdown doing some good.  No CR.

I experienced this in Denver several months ago well before the shutdown. They did have people walk two by two past sniffing dogs before the metal detector. So convenient and I honestly felt safer because those dogs are a lot smarter and care a lot more than the TSA workers. I hope all airports go that direction. Doesn’t everyone know by now that the shoes and belt and creepy body scanners are all just security theater?

1 hour ago, Hornius Emeritus said:


Why would they have different milks for different containers?   Why would they go to that expense?  Damnit, I want answers!

If it's really 2 months vs. 10-12 days, then you're comparing UHT (the half gallon) and traditionally pasteurized (the gallon).  There's no other explanation.  So the two are kind of tangerines and oranges.  Pretty close to the same thing, but not.  It's not about the size of the container so much as you're comparing Pasteurized milk with Ultra-pasteurized/UHT pasteurized milk.  It' s not necessarily two different milks when it leaves the farm, it just becomes two different milks when processed for a different container.     

I'm guessing as to the reason as to why HEB Organic milk is UHT in half gallon sizes but traditionally pasteurized in full gallon sizes, and maybe they do both both ways, it's just not available at your HEB (assuming it's even open).  My guess is that the reason for using UHT for the half gallon has to do with demand.  I'd assume that gallon sizes are in higher demand and produced in more plants.  It can then make its way to the local HEB quickly to be consumed quickly, with higher guaranteed product turnover.  Half-gallon, on the other hand, not being in as high of demand, is packaged in fewer places, has to be delivered over a larger area, and doesn't have the turnover of it's larger counterpart.  So it's processed using a UHT method to make sure it lasts.    

 

 

Learn something new today, gas pumps have a timer.  Went to fill up both the car and can for snow blower, did the usual CC,zip code, select grade, then proceed to have a bitch of a time getting the nozzle of the gas can off.  By the time I did get it off, was told sale was canceled and had to redo the CC.  Not really that big of an incovenience but when it’s blowing low teens, didn’t want to be out there any longer than I had to.  

George michael was a badass and his music was unbelievably underappreciated.

George michael was a badass and his music was unbelievably underappreciated.


Does your boyfriend feel the same way?

I killed a rat today. Mother asshole got into our house somehow. Trapped it in a bathroom. Girlfriend put food on the trap, I set it and 4 hours later... BAM. Dead. I did a little dance. Lil shitstain.

9 hours ago, luke duke said:

 


Does your boyfriend feel the same way?

 

His voice was amazing. Do a george michael station on pandora, you will dig every song. 

3 hours ago, troph said:

I killed a rat today. Mother asshole got into our house somehow. Trapped it in a bathroom. Girlfriend put food on the trap, I set it and 4 hours later... BAM. Dead. I did a little dance. Lil shitstain.

For awhile on TOS, the snek thread turned into a "look at this fucking rat I killed" thread. I had a few on there as those bastards were in my walls. 

On 3/27/2018 at 11:39 AM, elfenix said:

when i was a kid i remember the lizards turning from green to brown and back.  we called them chameleons, though they weren't actually chameleons. 

now the lizards are all just brown. 

apparently the color changes lizards were Carolina Anoles, native to the southern US.  the brown-only lizards are Brown Anoles, native to Cuba and the Bahamas.  they got to Florida about 130 years ago, got to Houston about 30 years ago, and have been out-competing the color change lizards.

Dallas anoles still change colors.

On 1/14/2019 at 9:33 PM, DigglerontheHoof said:

Why is Anna Kendrick famous?  She has a rodent face, horrible body and annoying personality.  Granted, I get this only from the Hilton commercials b/c I don't think I've ever seen her in anything.  But, damn, I don't get it...at all. 

I’d punch my mother in the gut just for the chance to lick neosporin off Anna Kendrick’s kneecaps. I think she’s so fucking hot.

*Edit: Notice how a gay, Astro-fan poster agreed with your take. Food for thought.

Edited by Helobious

5 hours ago, Pancho Negro said:

Publix could rival HEB if they ever decided to come to Texas.

 

But would they be open, though? 

On 1/19/2019 at 12:43 PM, 'stache said:

I experienced this in Denver several months ago well before the shutdown. They did have people walk two by two past sniffing dogs before the metal detector. So convenient and I honestly felt safer because those dogs are a lot smarter and care a lot more than the TSA workers. I hope all airports go that direction. Doesn’t everyone know by now that the shoes and belt and creepy body scanners are all just security theater?

I forgot that, yes there was a dog.  Made it so much faster.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.