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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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6 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Motherfucker trying to calendarize the dewey decimal system

Nah, the DDS is easier than that.  Anything you can make a rap about...

 

Caution:  its annoying AF and a potent ear worm:

Spoiler

 

 

...when  you're an asshole, but mercifully remembered as just a library guy

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1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

...when  you're an asshole, but mercifully remembered as just a library guy...

"his legacy is marred by allegations of sexual harassment, racism, and antisemitism."

Not clear on this... So he both enumerated and tortured black hebrews?

So we're using the Dewey Decimal System to track down books in school libraries about CRT, DEI, Women's Studies, and Non-Christian values...to remove them from the stacks.  And the guy who enabled the system that makes those books so easy to find to de-shelve was a purveyor of written materials on sexual assault, racism, and anti-semitism? 

Is this fucking simulation even trying anymore?   

I have the kids to myself for an entire week while my wife is on a business trip to Asia.

So far I've only yelled at them once to get off their iPads and clean up. But otherwise it's been drama free.

 

We're in day 2 of 6. May God have mercy on our souls.

 

 

12 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Why do people like to sit in the front seat of an Uber?

I'm horribly claustrophobic.  I can't sit in the back seat in most cars, even big SUVs.  Usually, if I can't sit in the front, I can't go.  I hate it, absolutely hate it, but that's the miserable reality in which I live.  

Well, I could get one if she'd quit goofing around with her phone holder thing on the dashboard.  

Ride at rush hour still on time:  5-stars

Handjob with no ball-cupping:  2-stars

Sorry, I've got a 4.97 rating to protect.  

If you were born before 1977, you are older than the high five. 

 


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Edited by HiggyBaby

On 4/16/2024 at 7:41 AM, closetohumping said:

Why do people like to sit in the front seat of an Uber?

Because they're fucking psychopaths.

Is this your updated version of the Hackman-Caine theory?  

Only if tonight in the pit, everyone gets laid

Why were the insane clown posse ever a thing

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

Why were the insane clown posse ever a thing

I think that's a sign of their posse's insanity?

On 4/20/2024 at 3:25 AM, YGIFS said:

Is this your updated version of the Hackman-Caine theory?  

I see nothing wrong with this. Both are great actors and I celebrate their entire catalog.

Are these plate readers? On a civvy car?

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Taken on Culebra in SA

Watching Apocalypse Now. I took a blind date to see it when it first came out. I learned it wasn't a first date/chick movie.

Those of us who have dogs….

Our golden doodle is a great dog but he got smarter tonight when we put peanut butter in his Kong toy.

We do it about once a week. Scoop or two of PB and it will keep him busy for 45 minutes.

This MFer just chewed the small end of the rubber off to accelerate his getting of the PB. I didn’t know dogs could destroy a Kong.

On 4/16/2024 at 8:54 AM, nnm said:

I'm horribly claustrophobic.  I can't sit in the back seat in most cars, even big SUVs.  Usually, if I can't sit in the front, I can't go.  I hate it, absolutely hate it, but that's the miserable reality in which I live.  

Isn’t claustrophia worse with less room around you?

Edited by Ignatius

9 hours ago, Ignatius said:

Isn’t claustrophia worse with less room around you?

It doesn’t make sense. At all. I wish logic worked. If it were logical, I’d be comfortable in the middle row of a SUV. But I’m not. I can’t even sit there. 
I hate it. I wish I didn’t have it. But I do. 

Tulsa, Austin, Oklahoma City, Seattle, San Francisco too…

19 hours ago, Crapinon said:

Watching Apocalypse Now. I took a blind date to see it when it first came out. I learned it wasn't a first date/chick movie.

Original cut or Redux? 

32 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Original cut or Redux? 

Blind date saw the original cut at the theater. I watched Redux last night. And after watching it again I realized it would be best seen on the big screen. 

 

2 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

Blind date saw the original cut at the theater. I watched Redux last night. And after watching it again I realized it would be best seen on the big screen. 

 

Bald white man in the black pyjamas. Worthy fucking adversary. 

On 4/19/2024 at 1:26 PM, HiggyBaby said:

If you were born before 1977, you are older than the high five. 

 


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I'm old enough to remember it being invented. Before that, it was all "gimme five" and a low slap. And then someone started saying "high five" and it caught like wildfire. Nobody wanted to be lame and just "gimme five" any more.

18 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Bald white man in the black pyjamas. Worthy fucking adversary. 

I read that originally Brando was supposed to be in special forces shape (or at least thin) to fit the role. But he showed up at the filming 90 lbs overweight and he never read the script or the book Heart of Darkness. Coppola knew how difficult Brando was to work with so instead of fighting him on it, he decided to film it with him in black clothes and in the shadows. It worked. 

It may have been said before, but "boneless wings" are just pussy-assed chicken goddamn nuggets and half a fucking step below dogfood. Much worse than artificial crab.  Do we order fillet non mignon? Oysters Ford? 

34 minutes ago, beer said:

It may have been said before, but "boneless wings" are just pussy-assed chicken goddamn nuggets and half a fucking step below dogfood. Much worse than artificial crab.  Do we order fillet non mignon? Oysters Ford? 

There's a Korean friend chicken place that has boneless wings. They are actually deboned wings. But they are dry AF even drenched in sauce. WNE again.

On 4/19/2024 at 1:26 PM, HiggyBaby said:

If you were born before 1977, you are older than the high five. 

 


image.gif.44d8147ea94b0adced45f1696542a9e0.gif

You’re also older than USA USA which was invented in Lake Placid in 1980.  And Beat LA which was invented in Boston during the epic Celtics vs Lakers battles of the 80’s.

No one has watched Jerry McGuire in 25 years.  It was everywhere.  “Show me the money!” was hip. People tried to figure out how to say Shoplift the pooty without sounding dumb.  Got an Oscar and a bunch of noms. 90s movies are revered even now but that one had zero rewatchability.  

Edited by BehoId, The Underminer!

39 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Having lived in dc and Seattle I’m not sure crabs are worth the hassle

What if she was really hot though

8 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

What if she was really hot though

She?

On 4/25/2024 at 11:01 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Oysters Ford sounds like my kind of dish.  Do you have a recipe?

Just substitute cheese whiz for parmesian

55 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Having lived in dc and Seattle I’m not sure crabs are worth the hassle

Jim Gaffigan has a long, but fantastic, bit about getting crab at a restaurant.  

"Oh, you'd like the crab this evening?  Let me get you some tools......" 

It's one of 1000 jokes he has about food but it's still relevant and funny.  

The thought crossed my mind, unbidden and apropos of nothing, that someone out there has almost certainly shipped Homer Simpson with Ned Flanders, and I now hate every choice I've made in my life, as they've led me to this moment.

Something weird and fucky today. Did a 11pm run to airport. I saw no less than 20 cars without their headlights on, or at most only their parking lights on. I flashed a few of the ones ahead of me (same direction) to no avail. Also saw a bunch of cars with only 1 functioning head or tail light. 

Never seen that much on a single drive. 

 

1 minute ago, 52-80 said:

Something weird and fucky today. Did a 11pm run to airport. I saw no less than 20 cars without their headlights on, or at most only their parking lights on. I flashed a few of the ones ahead of me (same direction) to no avail. Also saw a bunch of cars with only 1 functioning head or tail light. 

Never seen that much on a single drive. 

 

Hey some of us live in America. The 3rd world thread is on texags.

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