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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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6 hours ago, Underdog said:

Halle Berry is my only Free Pass allowed. 

So you don’t actually have one 

There's a regional VP at my wife's company named Leonard. He doesn't come around very often but when he does, my wife's boss gets antsy. I don't give a shit about any of that stuff, so any time she says something like "Leonard is coming next week and my boss is stressing out", I just start singing: "When Leonard finally caaaaaaame to California,". She doesn't know any Merle Haggard and that makes it even funnier when she looks at me like I'm speaking greek. I've been doing this for 5 years and it's still funny to me.

I get 24 months free service for my 4runner through Toyota Care. I wish I'd paid out of pocket elsewhere and want to murder every motherfucker who works here.

If you or your family works at a dealership how do y'all suppress the desire to eat a bullet fortnightly?

10 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

I get 24 months free service for my 4runner through Toyota Care. I wish I'd paid out of pocket elsewhere and want to murder every motherfucker who works here.

If you or your family works at a dealership how do y'all suppress the desire to eat a bullet fortnightly?

Try a different dealer. 

When I first moved out here, there was a Lexus dealer next door to an Acura dealer. The Acura dealer consistently had the highest ratings for service in the country, and it was easy to see why. 

The Lexus dealer... I went there once. After I went to a different dealer to fix what they fucked up, I went to a different one. They said I wasn't the first. I called the national complaint line to complain. They also had heard about that one dealer before.

Every. Fucking. Time.

Do rubes actually fall for this. I broke 13,000 miles on the drive over. Urge to kill rising. 1806234c8a7becc6c0da1839d97d6c65.jpg

Every. Fucking. Time.

Do rubes actually fall for this. I broke 13,000 miles on the drive over. Urge to kill rising. 1806234c8a7becc6c0da1839d97d6c65.jpg

I do this every 25k, but the first replacement is with a K&N so I can wash it and replace. Same with the engine air filter.

I work with someone that cannot stand me because reasons. Every time she hears my voice she views it as an opportunity to absolutely shit on whatever I am saying.

It’s getting fucking old.

On 8/11/2025 at 8:37 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

"Leonard" (and especially "Leonhard") is a weird name. 

What about Lynyrd?

19 hours ago, Im_smarter_then_you said:

One of the crappy things about living in California is that no matter where you vacation the weather is shit

Hawaii is an exception. The weather there is awesome, especially in the evenings.

Peru is also great in May. We were there many moons ago. T-shirt during the day and a light sweater in the evenings (just like SoCal).

 

 

17 minutes ago, tigol said:

I work with someone that cannot stand me because reasons. Every time she hears my voice she views it as an opportunity to absolutely shit on whatever I am saying.

It’s getting fucking old.

Pour a little bit of cheap whiskey on her office chair. Take her chair apart and hide pungent perishables inside. Many office chairs have a sort of hollow cylinder that can fit a few raw shrimp. 

Let it all marinate as long as necessary, and then when the rest of the office is enraged, trace the smell to her area and chair. 

Then, call her Stinkass until she quits. 

On 8/11/2025 at 8:43 AM, DaysOff said:

Every. Fucking. Time.

Do rubes actually fall for this. I broke 13,000 miles on the drive over. Urge to kill rising. 1806234c8a7becc6c0da1839d97d6c65.jpg

You think changing your cabin air filter is a scam? Or you think paying someone else to do it for you is a scam?

You think changing your cabin air filter is a scam? Or you think paying someone else to do it for you is a scam?

Changing it at 13k miles sure as hell is.

"Results for people are limited"

Hey Google, go fuck yourself 

59 minutes ago, troph said:

what about cottage cheese, I don't think I've ever tried it, am I missing anything?

I like it with coarse black pepper. 
If you were the Lutheran ladies from my childhood you’d put it in a lime jello salad. 

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:


Changing it at 13k miles sure as hell is.

I dunno. If it's damp or dusty where you live, that's not too soon.

22 hours ago, Im_smarter_then_you said:

One of the crappy things about living in California is that no matter where you vacation the weather is shit

Counterpoint: places with exposure to 4 distinct seasons is nice. gives sense of tempo and cyclicality to life. you feel the leaves change. you sense spring coming. you look forward to “grilling season”. you swap sandals for ski boots. etc. 

1 hour ago, Classic Rock said:

I think that most people wear shoes that are too small.

image.gif.bd5255af295b4e1dd077906676542a8a.gif

Just now, 52-80 said:

Counterpoint: places with exposure to 4 distinct seasons is nice. gives sense of tempo and cyclicality to life. you feel the leaves change. you sense spring coming. you look forward to “grilling season”. you swap sandals for ski boots. etc. 

1 million percent. My favorite climate is actually Denver’s four seasons.  
 

 

however, I’m in Hawaii and the weather sucks compared to SoCal.  Just sayin

what about cottage cheese, I don't think I've ever tried it, am I missing anything?

I like it in my oatmeal for extra protein.

I’ll also eat it with fruit for a protein boost as well. It is a nice change of pace.
4 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Pour a little bit of cheap whiskey on her office chair. Take her chair apart and hide pungent perishables inside. Many office chairs have a sort of hollow cylinder that can fit a few raw shrimp. 

Let it all marinate as long as necessary, and then when the rest of the office is enraged, trace the smell to her area and chair. 

Then, call her Stinkass until she quits. 

My daughter had a guy hassling her in college for being female in the Hardin Simmons Cowboy band. It was previously all male and he couldn’t stand it. She poured deer urine down the A/C inlet on his car. I don’t know if he ever knew she did it but she got a good laugh out of it. 

Peeing into the ocean while you're swimming takes a conscious effort to let your bladder go.

"It's giving..."

Whenever a girl says this, it sounds fake and forced

On 8/12/2025 at 12:54 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Pour a little bit of cheap whiskey on her office chair. Take her chair apart and hide pungent perishables inside. Many office chairs have a sort of hollow cylinder that can fit a few raw shrimp. 

Let it all marinate as long as necessary, and then when the rest of the office is enraged, trace the smell to her area and chair. 

Then, call her Stinkass until she quits. 

Oddly specific. 

If guys playing guitar outside of subways or on street corners really wanted to make some money, they should play classic rock guitar solos. I don't give those guys playing Ed Sheeran or whatever a second glance, but if I came out of the subway/metro/underground and a guy is playing Stranglehold or Layla, I'm gonna toss him a buck or two. If he plays Frankenstein, he gets a $10.

2 hours ago, Sandman said:

If guys playing guitar outside of subways or on street corners really wanted to make some money, they should play classic rock guitar solos. I don't give those guys playing Ed Sheeran or whatever a second glance, but if I came out of the subway/metro/underground and a guy is playing Stranglehold or Layla, I'm gonna toss him a buck or two. If he plays Frankenstein, he gets a $10.

If he's playing Eruption, give him a gig.

On 8/15/2025 at 5:05 PM, Ghost of NMAS said:

If he's playing Smoke on the Water kick him in the nuts

download.jpg.86a012ee7b2b79b89144bbd45c3f782f.jpg

If you’ve never had marmite and butter on toast, you owe it to yourself to never try it.

i had it as a kid living in South Africa and thought it was pretty good. 45 years later and ugh… waste of $6, straight into the trash. 
 

image.png.a01374d2b1805e8e336f255a7cd0e662.png

Finally found the absolute worst bookshelf in the world:

035_76e4a15e-2f45-47f2-aae3-25ca120dc857.thumb.webp.b1cfdaea64a9c72d82861d035c888b69.webp

There's barely 1 or 2 companies making aftermarket stereo headunits retrostyled for a specific brand, typically Porsche.

I always wondered, why doesnt one of these companies make a base head with interchangeable faceplace thats designed to look like BMW, Audis, Lexus, Honda, etc. Functionality remains identical. You can just change the colors and button shapes and fonts to match the broad aesthetics from those cars companies. Wouldnt that be a decent hit?

Apparently there's a serial stabber in Frisco. This is the only photo they have of him. 

RDT_20250819_084907307593389610860940.jpg

On 8/13/2025 at 4:06 PM, Superhero said:

Peeing into the ocean while you're swimming takes a conscious effort to let your bladder go.

Not for me.  When i wade fish all day in summer i just let it rip whenever.  So much so, that when Im back on land,  Ican't hold it as long, and feel like Im going to piss myself.

Just now, Born to Run said:

Not for me.  When i wade fish all day in summer i just let it rip whenever.  So much so, that when Im back on land,  Ican't hold it as long, and feel like Im going to piss myself.

I also like to make eye contact with my wife when we are swimming or surfing and affect a blissful countenance.  " You're peeing aren't you!?" Yep

17 hours ago, Superhero said:

If you’ve never had marmite and butter on toast, you owe it to yourself to never try it.

i had it as a kid living in South Africa and thought it was pretty good. 45 years later and ugh… waste of $6, straight into the trash. 
 

image.png.a01374d2b1805e8e336f255a7cd0e662.png

No but i had a Vegemite sandwhich in Brussells from this tall and yoked baker.

4 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

Damn. Nicole’s disguises are getting better and better. 

image.jpeg.b4bf0e92e94584aaa9e142bb786e1590.jpeg
 

24 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

I also like to make eye contact with my wife when we are swimming or surfing and affect a blissful countenance.  " You're peeing aren't you!?" Yep

IMG_8863.thumb.jpeg.db49b89e78d567b5293e520623e58688.jpeg

 

19 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

No but i had a Vegemite sandwhich in Brussells from this tall and yoked baker.

Never tried Vegemite. I think both get vile reviews.

 

Apparently Marmite has a strong umami taste. I may rescue the jar and use it for stews when winter rolls around.

22 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

No but i had a Vegemite sandwhich in Brussells from this tall and yoked baker.

Man, I bet the beer flowed and chundering soon commenced.  Hope you took cover when the thunder started.

Edited by nnm

The soundtrack to the home release of Mortal Kombat was made by a band named THE IMMORTALS. 

Who are THE IMMORTALS? 

Oh, nobody, really... just Praga Khan and Olivier Adams, much better known as the Lords of Acid.

 

 

19 minutes ago, nnm said:

Man, I bet the beer flowed and chundering soon commenced.  Hope you took cover when the thunder started.

you'd better run

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