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3 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Why are macarons, macaroons, and macaroni so different?

And in Australia, Macca's is Ron's.

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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Last night I had a dream that Kyler Murray came to my workplace. He was just going around the office saying hi to people. I remember standing up to try and gauge how tall he was. He came by my desk, and I shook his hand and told him congrats on winning the Heisman. Then my boss walked up and started really, really chewing me out for screwing up some project. He was yelling and screaming at me while Kyler Murray just awkwardly stood there. Then I woke up.

I know at 47 I'm super old to some of you, but when an audioslave song plays I crank it. Like right now on my diesel shredder. 37717494bffe7246cab43e7d43f96225.jpg

15 hours ago, markstanco said:

I know at 47 I'm super old to some of you, but when an audioslave song plays I crank it. Like right now on my diesel shredder. 37717494bffe7246cab43e7d43f96225.jpg

That's a strange and dangerous place to masturbate. 

Just now, Llano Estacado said:

You shouldn’t be riding a tractor in a bathing suit. You could get gonorrhea.

I don't believe I've ever seen a tractor in a bathing suit before.

Side boob is awesome boob. 

The first side boob sighting when the weather warms is a personal holiday. 

6 minutes ago, NAVY said:

Side boob is awesome boob. 

The first side boob sighting when the weather warms is a personal holiday. 

There needs to be a greeting card for this occasion.

In the Netherlands, they celebrate Rokjesdag (skirt day) as the first day when it's warm enough for women to wear skirts. Being Dutch, of course, they take it too far.

sub-buzz-26947-1502819754-6.png?downsize

thats cool as fuck. Very much adopting this. Thanks man! 

The risk of an earthquake causing catastrophic damage is higher in New York City than in Los Angeles. Lots of seismologists say so. But the common wisdom is still the opposite. How many other things are most of us dead wrong about?

4 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

Do black people give white street beggars change?

Hahahaha... good one.  They don't even tip.

On 7/25/2018 at 9:24 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Our family has two cats. One is a panzy-assed fluff ball. My wife and daughter dote on that one. The other is a battle-scarred bad ass whom I have seen stare down an angry coyote before. My son and I prefer her.

There's a sociology paper in there somewhere. 

Cats like this are bad ass. They can also be assholes. Well all cats are assholes and I generally can’t stand the fuckers. They have no place being domesticated. But still cats that can beat a 120 lbs dog into submission or stare down and taunt coyotes are bad ass. 

22 hours ago, Eugene11 said:

Cats like this are bad ass. They can also be assholes. Well all cats are assholes and I generally can’t stand the fuckers. They have no place being domesticated. But still cats that can beat a 120 lbs dog into submission or stare down and taunt coyotes are bad ass. 

Our cat is a pussy.  I hate her.  She knows it.  She climbed up onto the bed with me once.  Once.

If Sonny and Sherry soon ran out of money after getting a motel by the water and a quart of Bombay gin, how did they get a briefcase full of money to meet with the Cubans who dealt in contraband?  

32 minutes ago, bschoolprof said:

If Sonny and Sherry soon ran out of money after getting a motel by the water and a quart of Bombay gin, how did they get a briefcase full of money to meet with the Cubans who dealt in contraband?  

But Sonny knew a man who knew some Cuban refugees who dealt in contraband.  I assume the briefcase full of money belonged to "the man" and Sonny was just the mule.

On 5/21/2019 at 11:03 AM, Eugene11 said:

Cats like this are bad ass. They can also be assholes. Well all cats are assholes and I generally can’t stand the fuckers. They have no place being domesticated. But still cats that can beat a 120 lbs dog into submission or stare down and taunt coyotes are bad ass. 

I had a cat that was a badass and an asshole. He took down a crow. For dinner.

But I saw the coyote that got him. I didn't know coyotes grew that big until I saw that one. Normally they're like a mid-sized dog, like about the size of an Akita. This one was the size of a lightweight, small great dane...

Edited by Rimbo

Late eighties and after a high school golf tournament, my team stopped for a meal close to downtown Houston. Teammate ordered a baked potato and asked the waitress for sour cream. He, not fluent in Spanish said “leche”, so she brought him some milk. We looked at him as he was dumbfounded as to the delivery of milk for his baked potato, so he said no, no “muy mal leche” - (trying to get some sour cream), so she brought him a glass of chocolate milk!

On 4/29/2019 at 8:22 AM, 'stache said:

The only thing I know about Game of Thrones is the South Park flopping weiner song. At this point I’d probably go out of my way to hate it to spite the annoying hype.

 

Try and keep up, everybody hates it now. If you want to spite people you will have to love it.

17 minutes ago, Pogo said:

But Sonny knew a man who knew some Cuban refugees who dealt in contraband.  I assume the briefcase full of money belonged to "the man" and Sonny was just the mule.

makes sense.  

30 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

Am I the only man who doesn't own a Hawaiian shirt?  The stores are overflowing with them.

You are now. Got mine.

43 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Try and keep up, everybody hates it now. If you want to spite people you will have to love it.

I watched the final episode with my wife. Didn't they kill midgets in olden times for being some sort of curse from God?

Just found out that Ramses from nacho libre died last week in the ring. Sad!

 

I had a cat that was a badass and an asshole. He took down a crow. For dinner.
But I saw the coyote that got him. I didn't know coyotes grew that big until I saw that one. Normally they're like a mid-sized dog, like about the size of an Akita. This one was the size of a lightweight, small great dane...

If only you had a spiral staircase...
23 minutes ago, EE2B said:


If only you had a spiral staircase...

giphy.gif 

It's common knowledge that coyotes cannot climb spiral staircases. 

It's like chalk to ants, or an uninvited external doorway for a vampire. Nothing doing. 

I just found the missing sliced brisket sandwich from Miller's that was missing from my bag yesterday. Apparently, it somehow rolled out of the bag and down between the passenger seat and door, where I found it when I was unloading some groceries.

It still smells fantastic, looks as good as new. Will I die if I eat it?

Bill Miller’s?

You probably would’ve died eating it fresh from the store.

Why the fuck do people remove the head restraint from the seats in their car? 

7 hours ago, Rimbo said:

I didn't know coyotes grew that big until I saw that one. Normally they're like a mid-sized dog, like about the size of an Akita. This one was the size of a lightweight, small great dane...

I caught one from an higher position in Colorado once.  He had no idea I was watching him.  Fucker was huge.  I turned back to inform my gf to hold the dog back from coming any further my direction.  When I turned back to look at it, it was gone.

Am I the only man who doesn't own a Hawaiian shirt?  The stores are overflowing with them.


I think that the kind of guy that owns a Hawaiian owns 10 of them.
18 hours ago, bschoolprof said:

makes sense.  

Now y'all got me contemplating Keen lyrics while laying in bed.  The bigger issue I have with this song is the last verse.

If it really was Main Street AFTER midnight, just like it was before, 21 months later at the local grocery store, Sherry might buy a paper, but HEB is most definitely not selling her a cold 6-pack of beer.

57 minutes ago, PatrickMcHorn said:

They would until 1am Sunday morning.

I stand corrected.  Either my memory of college sucks or that law changed at some point.  Probably the former.

So, I just got a notification of an update from our freight department, and I still can't believe my eyes:

 

Quote

Update by Cougar Bunn - Frontline Freight Support 1

 



So, I just got a notification of an update from our freight department, and I still can't believe my eyes:

 
Update by Cougar Bunn - Frontline Freight Support 1
 


With a name like that, he's not going to be support 1 for long. Straight to the top!

Pretty much every time I come home, our dogs go apeshit like they just won the lottery.  They are both rescue mutts with one being a wire-haired terrier mix and the other is red heeler( mostly.)

Well I sit on the couch so they can run off their excitement in the living room and do their little drive by's of licks, nudges, and what-not.  The red heeler, who reminds me of a smaller Thompson's gazelle, runs across the vertical cushions on the couch much like one of those Olympic cyclists going through the curves.  Only problem is, I am sitting against the middle one.

She runs across my chest and one of her rear feet plants on my chest and cuts my nipple, even though I had a shirt on.

Have you ever had your nipples ripped, Greg?  Hurts like a motherfucker...

Dm5ZWy6W0AABRnr.jpg

Edited by slorch

Why is "official" championship gear (the hats and shirt they give the team immediately after the game then sell on the official team site) always so hideous? I always wait for the secondary people to make decent designs and buy those. The official gear is always super busy and ugly as hell.

On 5/24/2019 at 8:59 AM, luke duke said:

I think that the kind of guy that owns a Hawaiian owns 10 of them.

 

I worked at a place that had an IT nerd that wore a black shirt and black jeans every day except Friday.  On Fridays he wore black jeans and a  Hawaiian shirt.  Don't recall every noticing the same one, so yeah, I think your premise holds true.

5 hours ago, 'stache said:

Why is "official" championship gear (the hats and shirt they give the team immediately after the game then sell on the official team site) always so hideous? I always wait for the secondary people to make decent designs and buy those. The official gear is always super busy and ugly as hell.

Because it's got to be based off a really generic template to allow for quick changes depending on who wins.

On 5/26/2019 at 8:01 AM, slorch said:

Have you ever had your nipples ripped, Greg?  Hurts like a motherfucker...

Oh hell yes!  I was at the lake back in college.  I got hot so I jumped in the water.  While neck deep and holding onto the dock, something bit me on the nipple.  I have never moved so fast as I did getting back on that dock.  I looked down to see a trickle of blood running down my chest.  Hurt like a motherfucker...

“Oh my goodness, is that frank thomas?”

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