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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

In 23 shows, "I refused hallucinogenics once."  read between the lines, dumbass ;) 

'I dosed at last night's show' would be a good reason for declining the offer. 'I'm not driving' isn't.  :p

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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2 hours ago, 'stache said:


When the machines become sentient, we’ll be the slaves.

Kind of my point. I try to be polite to my devices because they will remember

11 hours ago, HookEm said:

The Amazon Prime logo looks like a penis.

The Starbuck's logo looks like she's holding her legs up by her head so you can go balls deep.  

10 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

Kind of my point. I try to be polite to my devices because they will remember

Any devices try talk to me, I tell them to fuck off or STFU.

The Amazon Prime logo looks like a penis.

Sometimes you see what you want to see...
45 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Any devices try talk to me, I tell them to fuck off or STFU.

season 13 GIF

I made it my resolution one year to read Infinite Jest exclusively on the toilet. Finally finished it at about 4:30pm on 12/31.

 

You might want to work a little fiber into your diet. Not even Detective Murtaugh shit for that long.

 

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Speaking of that cloud, my iPhone keeps telling me that my storage space there is full.

23 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Speaking of that cloud, my iPhone keeps telling me that my storage space there is full.

Are you asking for advice on this? If so, you can either delete a bunch of stuff (music, pictures, videos, etc). Or you can buy more space. I think it’s like $1/month for what will likely amount to unlimited storage for you.

1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Speaking of that cloud, my iPhone keeps telling me that my storage space there is full.

That's because they want your to sign up for Apple Cloud Services. Unless you are a billionaire, change your backup settings.

I heard this ad on ESPNU radio this morning, and had to google to make sure I heard it correctly.  Yep, Bourbon scented aftershave and body wash.  Brilliant.

81EZ96CESIL._SL1500_.jpg

 

"No officer, I havent been drinking, its my body wash and aftershave."

That excuse wouldn’t work for my hippie son with the beard.

1 minute ago, Patricio Swayze said:

You people who pray before a meal at a restaurant are weird. Stop it, you are kind of creeping me out.

Bless your heart.

2 hours ago, markstanco said:

I heard this ad on ESPNU radio this morning, and had to google to make sure I heard it correctly.  Yep, Bourbon scented aftershave and body wash.  Brilliant.

81EZ96CESIL._SL1500_.jpg

 

"No officer, I havent been drinking, its my body wash and aftershave."

Lulz. I’ve been trying to smell more like a homeless person and finally found the answer 

I’m sure HR would like to have a word also when it gets back to them that you smell like happy hour. 

In the movie, Reservoir Dogs, we know Mr. Orange is an undercover cop, and alerts the police to the heist ahead of time.  So they are there instantly and pounce on the gang as they are trying to exit and get away.  Mr. Blue dies there.  Brown, Orange, and White make their way together to the safehouse.  Brown dies on the way an Orange is shot, but the three of them were en route to the safehouse.  Blonde and Pink make their way separately to the safehouse, but they do make it.  As does nice Guy Eddie.  We find out shortly before Eddie's arrival that Orange knows there are cops outside the warehouse with the express orders to wait until Joe makes it there so they can arrest him, the rest are just pawns.  The cops are even willing to let Orange bleed out and the uniformed cop to die somehow (presumably they are watching the house and saw both officers enter---both being dragged in under less than ideal circumstances).  So if Joe is that big of a prize, that they are willing to let two of their own die just yards from them when they can help it---why bother raiding the diamond heist in the first place?  Why not just the heist go off as planned and lie in wait at the safehouse for Joe to arrive?  Why show up there where Blonde eventually murders multiple civilians, and another intersection shootout takes a few other lives of cops?  Why did they show up to the heist early, thus tipping off the crew that everything was compromised?  More likely than not, those guys would not have gone to the safehouse, thinking it was burned.  If you want Joe, lay low and wait to pounce on him at the warehouse.  

And the other kicker is Joe knows beyond a doubt, right when he walks in that Orange gave them all up.  Other characters need time to work through it, even Blonde and Eddie never see the truth, and White only at the end in dying arms.  Joe is clear as day about it.  Somehow without any communication from the other guys in the crew, Joe knows the heist went bad (presumably from driving casually afterwards or listening to the news).  Because of this, Joe knows or should know, his safehouse is burned.  He didn't get to where he was in life by taking stupid risks.  But here he drives his own car, by himself, to the safehouse to confront whoever is left...knowing full well he is putting himself at massive exposure of getting pinched.  He does this for one reason, and one reason only (he doesn't know when he drives over that there's still a good chance PInk can recover the stones and give Joe his cut)...to kill Orange and tie up that loose end.  But the only thing dumber than going to a burned safehouse surrounded by cops is to follow thru with shooting a cop inside of that safehouse.  Joe would never do that.  

The only explanation is that Officer Holdaway, Mr. Orange's handler in the undercover cop world was on the take from Joe.  Reservoir Dogs can't be the only Tarantino movie without a corrupt law enforcement agent.  

5 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

You people who pray before a meal at a restaurant are weird. Stop it, you are kind of creeping me out.

We'll pray for you....sinner.

What was the name of that company that made all those CD/DVD wooden racks for living rooms?  They had the kind that fit on a shelf, and then also those stand-alone units that would sit on the floor next to your entertainment center and were like 4-5' tall to hold 100's of CD's or movies?  I can't believe I'm blanking but all of us had a model or two of theirs.  Not Case Logic which was more for CD's to go on the car, but these were that beige earth tone and you could get anything from like a desktop unit for 20 CD's all the way to a massive floor unit that held 1000.  

I had one of those.  Finally took it to the thrift store last week, along with all of my cds.

Atlantic Element.  $50.00 new, today.

Edited by Kennythetiger

When did black socks(non dress socks) become so popular?   
I struggle with this myself, and here is where I am, atm:
1) shorts: black ankle socks. In a non-formal setting I may skip them entirely.
2) pants: black calf-length socks. I wear mostly 6" hiking shoes with pants, and the black socks match the brown shoes.
3) jorts & crocs: white, knee-high socks with a red strip on top.

Give your feet some air people.  You are slaves to socks.  

I struggle with this myself, and here is where I am, atm:
1) shorts: black ankle socks. In a non-formal setting I may skip them entirely.
2) pants: black calf-length socks. I wear mostly 6" hiking shoes with pants, and the black socks match the brown shoes.
3) jorts & crocs: white, knee-high socks with a red strip on top.


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I played bagpipes at a graveside funeral today. When we were going over the order of service the funeral director told the preacher "his daughter wants to play her two songs after she speaks". So after she talks about her father, she walks to the end of the coffin she raises a Hook'em and "The Eyes of Texas" starts playing. I did in return and we both sang. Then they played "Texas Fight". Meaningless and random, but it made me laugh. 

Happy actual independence day. You know, the day when the vote that made it official took place. The "Lee Resolution" was the act of Congress that established us as an independent nation. The vote on July 4th was to adopt the document that would be presented publicly declaring the same.

I’m literally in love with Alex Morgan. Like for real. I might carve it into a tree tonight.

8 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I like having a new hair cut.

I hate getting my hair cut.

Every fucking time, as soon as the electric clippers get to the left side of the back of my neck, I get back spasms in my lower left back. It's embarrassing and annoying. I've asked around and googled, no real explanation or solution. 

8 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I like having a new hair cut.

I hate getting my hair cut.

I'm the opposite. 

After I hit the lottery, I'm going to have a daily head washer on staff. 

And a lady to shampoo my hair, too! 

You know those commercials for The Jewelry Exchange [suburb name]? The place with the suspiciously low prices on diamonds? 

There seems to be one in every TV market, but do you think they actually take a different overheard crowd shot of all 200 employees of each location, or do you think they just use the same shot in every market? 

How would anyone know the difference? 

16 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Happy actual independence day. You know, the day when the vote that made it official took place. The "Lee Resolution" was the act of Congress that established us as an independent nation. The vote on July 4th was to adopt the document that would be presented publicly declaring the same.

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I think we need a thread for stupid things our parents did when we were children, that we still cannot understand or justify.

19 minutes ago, CoTex said:

I think we need a thread for stupid things our parents did when we were children, that we still cannot understand or justify.

do it best gif GIF

That sounds like a great idea, but when I turned 40 I realized I'm doing more and more of the stupid shit my parents did when I was a kid.

I'm the opposite. 
After I hit the lottery, I'm going to have a daily head washer on staff. 
And a lady to shampoo my hair, too! 


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I think we need a thread for stupid things our parents did when we were children, that we still cannot understand or justify.

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Goddamned spam emails!

The more I unsubscribe, it seems the more I get. Is the unsubscribing process just another damn scam?

No one takes a shit without their phone. 


Troof . Will spend 15 minutes looking for the phone before shitting. Wife thinks I’m going talk to the mistress. Nah, I just want relax. And with the squatty potty, I can sit for hours.

At the Whataburger by my house, it seems like no one is aware or everyone is too scared to go to Lane B.  This means Lane A always has 10+ cars in it, and Lane B is pretty much empty.  This afternoon, same shit.  Lane A had about 8-10 cars and Lane B had 0.  I go up to Lane B, order, pull up, give them my card, get my food, and I'm gone.  All total = about 5 minutes (and fresh fries.)  During this entire time, Lane A never moved. 

 

I hate when they have traffic cones in lane B. Every time, I have to get out, move the damn cones, then drive up and order.

Too high to find the high thread.  Fuck OU 

Hopefully you aren’t driving a ship.

Great avatar btw.

Goddamned spam emails!
The more I unsubscribe, it seems the more I get. Is the unsubscribing process just another damn scam?

Moose out in front should have told ya!

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