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Praying for New Orleanians. Because we don’t need any more of them in Texas.

Stay Away!

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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how come Crown Royal does not come with a little bag of weed already in the bag?

I mean you know that is what is going to end up and happen why not just market it that way to start?

scatter shooting an idea here

an app called SLAB it is like uber or lyft only you get ghetto cars that you can specify like lambo doors, swangas, low rider, hydraulics, under car lights....pics of the cars and drivers of course

plus other options like 420 friendly, thumping bass, fucking in the back seat (maybe even some whores brought for the trip), ect.

I was thinking about a payment option where right at the end of the trip an alarm goes off and whoever draws their gat first the the driver or passenger you either pay double or the ride is free

think this is a go?

13 hours ago, ButtFumble said:

how come Crown Royal does not come with a little bag of weed already in the bag?

I mean you know that is what is going to end up and happen why not just market it that way to start?

Buddy of mine drank a lot and had a shit ton of those bags he'd saved. The plan was to make them into a quilt but he got impatient and blew his brains out before it came to fruition.

What kind of fucking grown up in the business world has no idea how to properly put together a meeting agenda or meeting minutes.  JFC it's like I am taking crazy pills.

What kind of fucking grown up in the business world has no idea how to properly put together a meeting agenda or meeting minutes.  JFC it's like I am taking crazy pills.
Got a meeting request from an assistant in another department earlier this week. The calendar invite had a subject of "Meeting."

Made me ragey, but I passive aggressively just denied it without explanation. Fuck all the idiots.
What kind of fucking grown up in the business world has no idea how to properly put together a meeting agenda or meeting minutes.  JFC it's like I am taking crazy pills.
Got a meeting request from an assistant in another department earlier this week. The calendar invite had a subject of "Meeting."

Made me ragey, but I passive aggressively just denied it without explanation. Fuck all the idiots.
3 hours ago, PatrickMcHorn said:

Got a meeting request from an assistant in another department earlier this week. The calendar invite had a subject of "Meeting."

Made me ragey, but I passive aggressively just denied it without explanation. Fuck all the idiots.

Imagine if you had received the same request twice. 

On 7/2/2019 at 11:13 PM, Helobious said:

Every fucking time, as soon as the electric clippers get to the left side of the back of my neck, I get back spasms in my lower left back. It's embarrassing and annoying. I've asked around and googled, no real explanation or solution. 

You have to search female issues

On 7/5/2019 at 1:54 PM, Pancho said:

At the Whataburger by my house, it seems like no one is aware or everyone is too scared to go to Lane B.  This means Lane A always has 10+ cars in it, and Lane B is pretty much empty.  This afternoon, same shit.  Lane A had about 8-10 cars and Lane B had 0.  I go up to Lane B, order, pull up, give them my card, get my food, and I'm gone.  All total = about 5 minutes (and fresh fries.)  During this entire time, Lane A never moved. 

 

I pick the wrong lane, every. single. time.

 

So the guy with the sign asking for money.....does he have to maintain that look full time after he clocks out?  Or does he go home and sit on a couch and relax with a beer?

Edited by mulletpelini

Why has Serena Williams been gradually morphing into Evander Holyfield?

On 7/1/2019 at 7:42 PM, Crapinon said:

I played bagpipes at a graveside funeral today.

It'd have been better if you'd just showed up unwarranted and started blasting out some old highland tunes.

On 7/14/2019 at 1:26 PM, HornsOverIthaca said:

It'd have been better if you'd just showed up unwarranted and started blasting out some old highland tunes.

This is especially humorous at Cambodian funerals.

The nice thing about bagpipes is most people don't know if you're good or not. You can play just about anything, no matter how poorly and people who like bagpipes love it. 

 

2 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

The nice thing about bagpipes is most people don't know if you're good or not. You can play just about anything, no matter how poorly and people who like bagpipes love it. 

 

1 hour ago, Walden Ponderer said:

 

Well this sent me down a YouTube rabbit hole for the last hour.  And probably the next hour as well.

And I now want three hot chicks to play metal bagpipe music at my funeral.

2 hours ago, Crapinon said:

The nice thing about bagpipes is most people don't know if you're good or not. You can play just about anything, no matter how poorly and people who like bagpipes love it. 

 

There's a dude outside of Union Station in Chicago who shoots a big hole in this claim. 

3 hours ago, Crapinon said:

The nice thing about bagpipes is most people don't know if you're good or not. You can play just about anything, no matter how poorly and people who like bagpipes love it. 

Bullshit. Consider the possibility that you might be tone deaf. 

6 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Bullshit. Consider the possibility that you might be tone deaf. 

Perfectly possible. That's why they make electronic tuners. My point is there is the correct way to play gracenotes, doublings, half doublings, birls and taorluath's, etc. Unless you play the bagpipes you will never even know if they're missing from the song or if they're  played correctly. 

1 hour ago, Crapinon said:

Perfectly possible. That's why they make electronic tuners. My point is there is the correct way to play gracenotes, doublings, half doublings, birls and taorluath's, etc. Unless you play the bagpipes you will never even know if they're missing from the song or if they're  played correctly. 

That's a little too esoteric. (Nice humblebrag, though.) Play the wrong notes to Amazing Grace and people will notice. For any musician, people need to know how the song is supposed to be played or they won't know if it's being played incorrectly. 

6 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

That's a little too esoteric. (Nice humblebrag, though.) Play the wrong notes to Amazing Grace and people will notice. For any musician, people need to know how the song is supposed to be played or they won't know if it's being played incorrectly. 

I'm not trying to brag. I have a long way to go. I've been playing for 3 years and most believe it takes 7 to be decent. And yes you have to hit the right notes. Especially on something as loud as bagpipes. 'There are a lot of people who play various instruments who don't learn the fundamentals. They can play notes, but not play the instrument correctly. Amazing Grace is a very simple song to play, but it sounds 100 times better if you can play it with the embellishments. But hitting the right note is a given. 

7 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

I'm not trying to brag. I have a long way to go. I've been playing for 3 years and most believe it takes 7 to be decent. And yes you have to hit the right notes. Especially on something as loud as bagpipes. 'There are a lot of people who play various instruments who don't learn the fundamentals. They can play notes, but not play the instrument correctly. Amazing Grace is a very simple song to play, but it sounds 100 times better if you can play it with the embellishments. But hitting the right note is a given. 

Are you familiar with the band Phish? If not then you wouldn't notice when guitarist Trey Anastasio plays the riff in the song Tweezer incorrectly. Here's the rub -- he does that all the time now because he's in his fifties and doesn't have the chops he had when he was in his twenties. So...is he playing it incorrectly?

I couldn't tell you a Pfish song, I don't know them. I'm sure he's playing how he can/how he wants. I honestly couldn't care less. I'm sure their fans love their music no matter how he plays it. Which goes back to my original point. 

 

4 hours ago, Crapinon said:

I couldn't tell you a Pfish song, I don't know them. I'm sure he's playing how he can/how he wants. I honestly couldn't care less. I'm sure their fans love their music no matter how he plays it. Which goes back to my original point. 

Except no one in Phish plays a bagpipe. That's my point. It's not a concept specific to any particular instrument. 

Bag on, bother. Get down with your gracenotes and half doublings. I'm rooting for you. 

I’m not a big fan of cashews by themselves, but I find they compliment other nuts really well. When I eat mixed nuts, I find myself pairing pecans, almonds, etc. with cashews in every bite. If I have to, I break the cashews in half so I have enough. It’s fucking insane. 

24 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I’m not a big fan of cashews by themselves, but I find they compliment other nuts really well. When I eat mixed nuts, I find myself pairing pecans, almonds, etc. with cashews in every bite. If I have to, I break the cashews in half so I have enough. It’s fucking insane. 

'Hey, pecan, you look really tasty out of your shell.'

It makes me genuinely angry to think that less than five years after all the sacrifice and loss we went through as a society to fight and win World War II, we turned right back around and sent thousands of American men to die in fucking Korea. 

Drinking is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

7 minutes ago, HookMD said:

Drinking is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

Or two days from now. Depends on the chick quotient. 

How come you never see a photo of what the people in those crazy reaction photos see at that haunted house in Niagara Falls?  

You might remember me from such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures Through The Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot."

@convenience store and tab is $x.81. Check my pockets and have 79 cents. Cashier asks me if I want to use my change and I say thanks.

She hands me back cash plus 98 cents.

I'm still freaking out over centaurs having two ribcages. Because wait for this, it gets weirder:

Z38.4Kentauroi.jpg

 

Count 'em.  That's two bellybuttons.

12 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

@convenience store and tab is $x.81. Check my pockets and have 79 cents. Cashier asks me if I want to use my change and I say thanks.

She hands me back cash plus 98 cents.

She probably noticed that you had one quarter, three dimes, three nickels, and nine pennies and figured you’d rather have three quarters, two dimes, and three pennies than one quarter, four dimes, four nickels, and thirteen pennies. Did you thank her? 

6 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I'm still freaking out over centaurs having two ribcages. Because wait for this, it gets weirder:

Z38.4Kentauroi.jpg

 

Count 'em.  That's two bellybuttons.

what the fuck is that tiger eating? 

9 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

How come no one says “hot diggity dog” anymore these days?

23 skiddoo

how come fat chicks think that if they squat down really low (and more so if they throw up the deuces) suddenly they are not fat?

or if they sit their fat ass up on the counter and take a pic in the mirror?

you are just a fat chick squatting down and looking stupid throwing up the deuces or a fat chick with her fat ass on someone's (Vic's) bathroom counter

On 7/20/2019 at 7:57 AM, Nolacycling said:

@convenience store and tab is $x.81. Check my pockets and have 79 cents. Cashier asks me if I want to use my change and I say thanks.

She hands me back cash plus 98 cents.

What the heck kinda convenience store you going to that doesn't have a 'take a penny leave a penny' dish?

23 hours ago, shakahorn said:

What the heck kinda convenience store you going to that doesn't have a 'take a penny leave a penny' dish?

Should've just asked the cashier to put some more pennies in the dish. See what happens.

On 7/20/2019 at 10:39 PM, ImissWallyPryor said:

How come no one says “hot diggity dog” anymore these days?

spacer.png

On 7/18/2019 at 6:11 PM, Crapinon said:

I couldn't tell you a Pfish song, I don't know them. I'm sure he's playing how he can/how he wants. I honestly couldn't care less. I'm sure their fans love their music no matter how he plays it. Which goes back to my original point. 

 

 You are thinking of the tribute band from Pflugerville. 

On 7/20/2019 at 11:02 PM, NorthLoop said:

what the fuck is that tiger eating? 

That would be Carl.

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