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On 9/15/2019 at 10:47 PM, ImissWallyPryor said:

I doubt Abe Lincoln grew wheat, so why did they put wheat on the back of the cent?

Masculine flours?

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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It is very important to be comfortable in your own skin. Seriously. Because in most places, it's illegal to wear someone else's.

Earlier today, I saw a coworker go into the men's room with an umbrella. Now, I understand that he was almost certainly just going to go out to lunch in the rain after taking a leak, but I found it very hard to put aside (and stop internally giggling about) the absurd possibility that he was actually planning on pissing all over the place and just didn't want to get any on himself. 

Nicotine has to be the most useless thing to be hooked on

"Sister Christian, you're the only one.......
 

 

 

 

....you make bath-time lots of fun."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

giphy.gif

 

1 hour ago, housious said:

Nicotine has to be the most useless thing to be hooked on

What is the most useful thing to be hooked on?

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

What is the most useful thing to be hooked on?

A bull red 

I'm seriously thinking about getting rid of all my social media accounts. What's the point of having these friends and followers if 10% or less see your content? Or care enough to click like? 

Getting ready to game day at the stadium, had to take the dogs for their morning walk a little earlier than normal.

One of them got sprayed by a skunk, so I'm dealing with that now. Just finished the first soaking either the peroxide/baking soda/dish soap....waiting to rinse it off.

5am & today already sucks

6 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

I'm seriously thinking about getting rid of all my social media accounts. What's the point of having these friends and followers if 10% or less see your content? Or care enough to click like? 

It’s not content. It’s you.

22 minutes ago, housious said:

It’s not content. It’s you.

Probably so. 

I was walking past a corner booth at the farmer's market today, where there was nobody around but a juvenile delinquent, tending his family's wares, and a sign out front that read:  "Duck, eggs." And I thought, "That's really pretty irritating, putting in a superfluous comma like that." 

And then, it hit me.

I'm sure it's already been brought up, but when the fuck did they start spelling Kiev Kyiv?

I just now realized that it is Downton Abbey and not Downtown Abbey
Figured it out quicker than my wife.

Today I was contemplating whether I like titties or ass more than thought that as a man over 40 years old I should have figured this out already.

On 9/29/2019 at 11:12 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I just now realized that it is Downton Abbey and not Downtown Abbey

giphy.gif

52 minutes ago, F250 said:

Today I was contemplating whether I like titties or ass more than thought that as a man over 40 years old I should have figured this out already.

This is one of those rare questions in which the correct answer depends on which of the choices you happen to be confronted with at the particular moment.

25 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

This is one of those rare questions in which the correct answer depends on which of the choices you happen to be confronted with at the particular moment.

GIF-Agree-I-agree-Have-to-agree-GIF.gif?

1 hour ago, F250 said:

Today I was contemplating whether I like titties or ass more than thought that as a man over 40 years old I should have figured this out already.

I found my answer when i realized i have more flexibility if a girl has smaller boobs, but i cannot handle a small/flat bottom.  So ass for me. 

7 hours ago, F250 said:

Today I was contemplating whether I like titties or ass more than thought that as a man over 40 years old I should have figured this out already.

Why not both?

I've lived my whole life thinking that "Mrs.", to denote a married woman, was pronounced "Miss" and that "Ms." denoting a single woman, was pronounced "Miz-us"

Apparently it's the opposite.

2 hours ago, Rougarou said:

I've lived my whole life thinking that "Mrs.", to denote a married woman, was pronounced "Miss" and that "Ms." denoting a single woman, was pronounced "Miz-us"

Apparently it's the opposite.

It's not even that. 

That time of year (almost) when I find myself looking at signage or print or ads or whatnot that say, "Yoga/Pilates" and all I see is "Yoga/Pants"  

Golden age of ass gentlemen, a golden age. 

46 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

It's not even that. 

What is it!? I have to know!

 

3 minutes ago, Rougarou said:

What is it!? I have to know!

Mrs. is pronounced missus (sounds like "misses").

Ms. is pronounced mizz. 

Miss is pronounced miss. 

Mrs. is pronounced missus (sounds like "misses").
Ms. is pronounced mizz. 
Miss is pronounced miss. 
All of us childrens from the 70s and 80s that had the single women's lib teachers, " it's mizzzzzzz".
36 minutes ago, DaysOff said:
1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:
Mrs. is pronounced missus (sounds like "misses").
Ms. is pronounced mizz. 
Miss is pronounced miss. 

All of us childrens from the 70s and 80s that had the single women's lib teachers, " it's mizzzzzzz".

tenor.png

My new house is twice the size of the old one. I get a helluva lot more exercise just trying to find my fuckin’ coffee cup. 

Every damn day.....

when in public, walk backwards.

beep as you go.

On 10/2/2019 at 2:32 PM, DaysOff said:
On 10/2/2019 at 1:44 PM, WhatTheBuck said:
Mrs. is pronounced missus (sounds like "misses").
Ms. is pronounced mizz. 
Miss is pronounced miss. 

All of us childrens from the 70s and 80s that had the single women's lib teachers, " it's mizzzzzzz".

To be fair, it was also a simplifier for politeness sake. You don't know whether a woman is married or not? You call her "Ms." That way, she can yell at you for not calling her "Dr." because you're supposed to be psychic and know that she has a fucking PhD. Sexist pig.

On 10/4/2019 at 10:12 AM, After irth said:

My new house is twice the size of the old one. I get a helluva lot more exercise just trying to find my fuckin’ coffee cup. 

Every damn day.....

I have that same problem.  It is a scavenger hunt when I can't find my glasses.  First world problem all over the place over here.

On 10/4/2019 at 11:12 AM, After irth said:

My new house is twice the size of the old one. I get a helluva lot more exercise just trying to find my fuckin’ coffee cup. 

Every damn day.....

From a single wide to a double wide...  congrats.

Whenever you use a towel at someone else's house's bathroom, there is a non-zero chance you're putting your hands where someone else's ballsack has been.

1 hour ago, Rimbo said:

Whenever you use a towel at someone else's house's bathroom, there is a non-zero chance you're putting your hands where someone else's ballsack has been.

How do you feel about shaking hands? 

3 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

How do you feel about shaking hands? 

you're overthinking this

The greatest ironic tragedy in the culinary world is this:

Beef would taste incredible if done tandoori style.

The greatest ironic tragedy in the culinary world is this:
Beef would taste incredible if done tandoori style.
I have this thought everytime I go to the whip-in for their lunch buffet.
4 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

"Take out"...

Could be one of three things:
1) Food
2) Dating
3) Assassination

4) Trash

On 10/12/2019 at 6:20 PM, Rimbo said:

Whenever you use a towel at someone else's house's bathroom, there is a non-zero chance you're putting your hands where someone else's ballsack has been.

What do you think happens when you use a hotel towel, remote control, or even the desk chair.  

let he who hasn't jerked off naked in a hotel chair throw the first stone

44 minutes ago, elfenix said:

let he who hasn't jerked off naked in a hotel chair throw the first stone

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