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14 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Obv. T-shirt aggy or Land Thieves... the question is, WHERE?cbbe6cc1acdfb0722a13505a20e45e5b.jpg

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
 

Couldn't be, no horns down signs

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Posted Images

I took a penicillin shot just looking at that photo. 

On 12/14/2019 at 4:23 PM, tbone_ said:

I’ve seen this movie; you are doing it wrong. Your babysitter is supposed to be 18, and on the drive home you are supposed to make her pay for her mistake.

 

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49 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Methvirginia?

Country roads, take me home.

Two of my kids are watching Scooby-Doo on netflix.  I just happened by when the scene where the Fred “That’s my Fetish” meme is from.  My oldest daughter is asking me what’s so funny?

 

Plinko is the greatest game show game in existence. 

16 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

Why does red wine turn my shit green

Quit shoving the old corks up your ass . 

34 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

Why does red wine turn my shit green

Christmas time, yo.

1 hour ago, StruggleBus said:

Why does red wine turn my shit green

The good stuff should turn it black.  Stop being poor.

No idea where to put this but this made my day. This is one of my life long friends' kids who is in his early 20s - they're at the track in NOLA for his birthday. Said it made him $30 so I guess it went off at 4:1?

race1.png
horse2.png

 

 

 

4 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Just how shitty of a day were you having?

Great day actually. Just closed a deal I've been chasing for two years.

It's the summer of Brad.

17 hours ago, BradInATX said:

Great day actually. Just closed a deal I've been chasing for two years.

It's the summer of Brad.

You sold a rundown condemned motel to the City of Austin for triple its assessed value?

I went to Jiffy Lube today to get a State Inspection done for my vehicle.  I left the key with the attendant and took a seat inside the lobby.  There were a couple other people there too.  One older lady was talking loudly on her cell phone in a foreign language.  It took me a minute to recognize which language, but then she spoke a couple of the few words I know in Russian.  It was kind of surreal to sit there and listen to her go on and on talking in Russian for 15 minutes or so.  I wondered if @Hugo Stiglitzwere there, how badly would he have freaked out.

I'm going to start a new business. It's going to be Greek stone kitchen wares, marketed towards Millennials who are having trouble "adulting," as they say.

It's going to be called... Peter Pans.

21 hours ago, Rimbo said:

I'm going to start a new business. It's going to be Greek stone kitchen wares, marketed towards Millennials who are having trouble "adulting," as they say.

It's going to be called... Peter Pans.

Sorry, that's the name of my penis-mounted panoramic camera store. 

From the local TV stations website, the weather forecast for this weekend includes "Over the weekend, temperatures should be warming up with highs returning to the upper 60s and low 70s, Saturday and Sunday, respectfully". 

No rude weather allowed. 

30 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

From the local TV stations website, the weather forecast for this weekend includes "Over the weekend, temperatures should be warming up with highs returning to the upper 60s and low 70s, Saturday and Sunday, respectfully". 

No rude weather allowed. 

That's a shame. Rude weather girls are the only saving grace of television nowadays.

I’ve been driving my 2012 Honda Civic for the past 9 years almost. I’ve never gotten pulled over driving that thing. Not once. The biggest reason IMO? (besides me not being black)... non-tinted windows. What criminal would ever drive a car with non-tinted windows. Yeah it’s hot as shit in the summer but just something to think about. Had that thought come to me a couple days ago while driving.

"Employee pricing for everyone" deals at car dealerships seem like a really shitty way to treat your employees. "Hey, we value your work and want to provide you a benefit, but we'll also give it to the general public sometimes, because it's not really that good a deal and we still make hella profit."

2 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Will my insurance cover penis reduction surgery?

juri snip GIF

So in my car this morning, I was playing an air-drum solo along with Rush, but I accidentally dropped a stick out the window, so I had to switch to Def Leppard.

One day, and very soon actually, you'll walk into a bank branch for the very last time.  And then after that, you'll use the drive-thru at the bank for the very last time.  And a few years after that, you'll use an ATM for the very last time.    

2 hours ago, closetohumping said:

steve Irwin’s daughter got a rack

We have got’dam rules...!

5 hours ago, Lobo said:

One day, and very soon actually, you'll walk into a bank branch for the very last time.  And then after that, you'll use the drive-thru at the bank for the very last time.  And a few years after that, you'll use an ATM for the very last time.    

And then I die?

I’d make for a terrible terrorist as the first second I’m water boarded I’m giving ALLLL the details... I know this bc of the panic that sets in when I blow my nose into a tissue and inhale through my mouth catching the tissue hanging down.

7 hours ago, closetohumping said:

steve Irwin’s daughter got a rack

Underrated? 

On 12/29/2019 at 11:38 PM, bernorange said:

I went to Jiffy Lube today to get a State Inspection done for my vehicle.  I left the key with the attendant and took a seat inside the lobby.  There were a couple other people there too.  One older lady was talking loudly on her cell phone in a foreign language.  It took me a minute to recognize which language, but then she spoke a couple of the few words I know in Russian.  It was kind of surreal to sit there and listen to her go on and on talking in Russian for 15 minutes or so.  I wondered if @Hugo Stiglitzwere there, how badly would he have freaked out.

You need to get out more.  Up here in the NY/NJ area it seems like 20% of the population is 1st generation American.  

11 hours ago, Lobo said:

One day, and very soon actually, you'll walk into a bank branch for the very last time.  And then after that, you'll use the drive-thru at the bank for the very last time.  And a few years after that, you'll use an ATM for the very last time.    

Interesting take.  Republic Bank is building branches all over the place.  

Was at a car dealership yesterday and they kept playing Christmas music.  Is the Japanese Christmas like the Chinese New Year's, about a month late? 

Was scrolling through this morning to find a basketball game and there were still a dozen Christmas movies playing over several channels.  I think it's usually until Sunday evening before the end of the "holiday season" really hits most women.  Plus the Epiphany isn't until Monday when most Catholics finally take a breath and stop making it all about them.  

And every year at this time, I have to ask, if the Three Wise Men/Kings/Magi didn't visit the Christ-Child until 6 January, why are they always positioned alongside the holy family in the manger immediately after Jesus' birth?  

And then I realize, that's why they are wise...that's how they can afford such lavish gifts.  MERCHANDISING!  They shimmied their way into the manger scene dioramas and paintings even though they really weren't there.  That licensing agreement has accounted for hundreds of millions of dollars over the millennia.  Their agreement with Michael's & HomeGoods alone is the GDP of several small nations.  These guys knew what was up, hence the Three Wise Men(tm) moniker.  

On 1/3/2020 at 12:48 PM, closetohumping said:

Will my insurance cover penis reduction surgery?

Going trans all the way?

 

20 hours ago, Lobo said:

One day, and very soon actually, you'll walk into a bank branch for the very last time.  And then after that, you'll use the drive-thru at the bank for the very last time.  And a few years after that, you'll use an ATM for the very last time.    

My credit union has a branch where the "tellers" are automated kiosks with work-at-home personnel.

10 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

Was at a car dealership yesterday and they kept playing Christmas music.  Is the Japanese Christmas like the Chinese New Year's, about a month late? 

It's the start of the 2020 Christmas season sales.

53 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:
On 1/4/2020 at 7:13 PM, closetohumping said:
e657356192dcfd8ba55e93174df371e6.jpg
 
 
ok, I was wrong, but here's the pic anyway

Criky

Crikey like she’s hit or criky like she’s not?

Disclaimer: not high, just didnt eat tonight.

 

Lucky charms in a small cup mixed with almond butter (protein) and a splash of milk is on point.

 

Carry on.

 

 

Lucky charms are the Todd Orlando do breakfast cereal

Cereal is the Todd Orlando of breakfast foods.

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