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1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

Well, they build them because they are super efficient at processing traffic through an intersection. Dumb fucks need to learn. It ain’t that hard.

Not sure they'll ever learn. They ended up putting one way signs around the roundabouts in our neighborhood last year (lived here for 7 years in this particular neighborhood). Would've thought that was obvious, but apparently not.

Edited by demos

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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Police helicopter is looking for somebody in my neighborhood after a high speed chase.  Just doing circles around the neighborhood. I’m pretty sure by now that the guy got into Shoal Creek and is moving north or south pretty fast, while they are searching Ramsey Park.   

Are they looking through infrared, or are they just trying to flush the guy out for the cops on the ground?  I mean, I’ve seen the shows and movies where the police helicopter has the guy in a spotlight and they are following him.   

But these guys?  Just circling low and fast.  

10 hours ago, demos said:

Not sure why they keep putting roundabouts in Austin neighborhoods. Fucking idiots don’t know how to use them.

 

10 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Shit, there is even one in downtown Round Rock.

Almost as stupid as that toll booth on the way to Rock Ridge. Who even carries dimes these days? 

On 1/27/2020 at 11:19 AM, 52-80 said:

My employer is trying to promote a silent auction for charity, whereby the prizes of the auction are events and 'experiences' with managers like Lunches, Go-karting , Cooking classes.

 

The hilarious thing is that these are mid-senior managers.  Like the vice president of supply chain.  Or the north american director of industrial manufacturing.

 

Inspiring, business luminaries these are not.  Moreover, these people in specific are extremely lame.  It aint quite a date with Jeff fucking Bezos.  Im just laughing at how they think there is an incentive to bidding for this, and who actually would, besides the handful of their direct reports who live to kiss ass.

The titles...they fuel the living fuck out of egos, for some of them at least.   It's insufferable, and to your point, the last thing I would spend money on is a day WITH them.

Last year at an annual meeting I actually won an "immunity day" in which upon hearing that national folks would be coming to visit, i could not only avoid the visit, but redeploy them to the area of my choosing.  Now THAT was a fucking prize.

"Gate 3861"

Random text message from an unrecognized number. Someone is going to be wondering where their ride is.

2 hours ago, El Diablo said:

"Gate 3861"

Random text message from an unrecognized number. Someone is going to be wondering where their ride is.

Respond with “You’re not coming from Wuhan, China are you?  Because I drove a couple of guys from there around a couple of weeks ago, and they tipped poorly, and one of them kept sneezing in my car, and I think he gave me some kind of nasty cold that won’t go away.”

We lost our daughter on November 2, 2018 8 months into pregnancy to a umbilical cord issue. Seeing all these proud #girldad pictures all over the internet after Kobe and his daughter died fucking kills me.

Edited by ocugolf
Fat finger typing

3 hours ago, ocugolf said:

We lost our daughter on November 2, 2018 8 months into pregnancy to a umbilical cord issue. Seeing all these proud #girldad pictures all over the internet after Kobe and his daughter died fucking kills me.

Tomorrow is the 23rd anniversary of our first daughter's SIDS death. Seven weeks old. I feel where you're coming from; it sucks, there's simply no other way to say it. I'm so sorry.

22 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Tomorrow is the 23rd anniversary of our first daughter's SIDS death. Seven weeks old. I feel where you're coming from; it sucks, there's simply no other way to say it. I'm so sorry.

Dude. Hug.

UPDATE: Latest text message "Please keep gate locked". So the first text message was the key code for a gate. The plot thickens.

1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

UPDATE: Latest text message "Please keep gate locked". So the first text message was the key code for a gate. The plot thickens.

Send this in response. 

 

UPDATE: "Mork permits apprvd".

Image file attached for a Travis county permit issued to a backhoe contractor. Shows lot location/name. 'Bout to get some Mork done!

UPDATE: "Post the permit at the gate or ask Dale C."

Dale C is the name of the backhoe contractor on the permit.

17 hours ago, El Diablo said:

UPDATE: "Mork permits apprvd".

Image file attached for a Travis county permit issued to a backhoe contractor. Shows lot location/name. 'Bout to get some Mork done!

Shazbot!!!

I'm not into the backhoe scene but it wouldn't surprise me to find out that they're all named Dale. There's Irish Dale, Big Dale, Smooth Dale, Black Dale, BBQ Dale, Frisco Dale etc..."Who's doing your backhoe mork?" "Dale" "Which one?"

Edited by El Diablo

The font Opus Figured Bass Extra Std Regular is showing up in Final Cut as “pus Figured ass extras TD.”  Sounds bad.

Amazon/Whole Foods keeps recommending Mini Vegan Corn Dogs.  What if they're corn dogs made from vegans?  Grass fed I guess?

A lesbian could never fully appreciate the incredible feel of really tight pussy.

I'm not sure what thread this goes in so I'm putting it here. Today at 12:30 I get to pick up my teenage daughter from school and taker her to her first gynecological exam.  This should be interesting.  I guess it's fitting since I was the one who had to go shopping for her first feminine products and explain to her how to use them.  I still think the woman that I asked for advice in the grocery store thinks I'm some kind of pervert.

Is she wrong? 

Chinese lady next to me is sneezing away

If you contract the corona virus, make sure to pick up the lime disease to go with it!
Not sure they'll ever learn. They ended up putting one way signs around the roundabouts in our neighborhood last year (lived here for 7 years in this particular neighborhood). Would've thought that was obvious, but apparently not.


How many posts were there about it on Nextdoor?
21 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm not sure what thread this goes in so I'm putting it here. Today at 12:30 I get to pick up my teenage daughter from school and taker her to her first gynecological exam.  This should be interesting.  I guess it's fitting since I was the one who had to go shopping for her first feminine products and explain to her how to use them.  I still think the woman that I asked for advice in the grocery store thinks I'm some kind of pervert.

Are you single?

Yes, and he’s a pervert as well.  That’s why he’s on Surly.   Are you new here?

34 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

Running a red light should be a felony

It is, if you're drunk enough.

On ‎2‎/‎10‎/‎2020 at 12:52 AM, mulletpelini said:

A lesbian could never fully appreciate the incredible feel of really tight pussy.

I figure any lezzie that's stuffing things up her twat is probably closet straight and craving the D anyway.

1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

I figure any lezzie that's stuffing things up her twat is probably closet straight and craving the D anyway.

i see your point but I was really thinking in terms of the partner she's stuffing or pegging if that's your thing.

2 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

i see your point but I was really thinking in terms of the partner she's stuffing or pegging if that's your thing.

Yeah, I drifted off the tracks from your original train of thought. csb time, years ago I was banging these two lezzies, separately and of course unbeknownst to each of them who thought they were a committed lezzie couple... but I digress. Anyway, the one finds out and did say that her gf's twat had seemed to be looser when she'd finger banged her. So they do know, they're just not experiencing it the same way.

I noticed the Lesbians around here chase the girls with the biggest fingers.

CHIEF

I noticed the Lesbians around here chase the girls with the biggest fingers.
CHIEF

In a way that makes since. As most of us choose our proctologists based on the size of their fingers right?

Our first grandchild was born this morning. I sent out a group text, and I’m already getting smart ass comments about not checking my emails. 
CDFB8-D24-BBA6-4468-BCB5-C85284-DBB4-BE.

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

HOLY FUCK that triggers me. Are you my wife?

Do people even use personal email anymore? Outside of a business context and for logging into websites, what's the point?

9 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

Do people even use personal email anymore? Outside of a business context and for logging into websites, what's the point?

FWD:FWD:FWD THIS W1LL CrACK YOu UP!1!!

38 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

Do people even use personal email anymore? Outside of a business context and for logging into websites, what's the point?

I obviously don’t. 

On 2/11/2020 at 3:20 PM, El Diablo said:

Yeah, I drifted off the tracks from your original train of thought. csb time, years ago I was banging these two lezzies, separately and of course unbeknownst to each of them who thought they were a committed lezzie couple... but I digress. Anyway, the one finds out and did say that her gf's twat had seemed to be looser when she'd finger banged her. So they do know, they're just not experiencing it the same way.

and that confirms my initial theory

On 2/13/2020 at 12:56 PM, StruggleBus said:

Do people even use personal email anymore? Outside of a business context and for logging into websites, what's the point?

I probably exchange about 10 personal emails per day.  Most of them have some tinge of business to them, but there are roughly 10 or so that I handle through my personal email address.  I prefer it to phone calls because the exchange on each side takes an aggregate of 5 minutes as opposed to a 15 minute phone call.  I do not use social media, messaging apps, etc.  I'd say 10 or so business address emails and then 10 or so personal address emails. 

An easy way to shit done is to lay out what you need in an email and then have the other person do it.  Or vice-versa.  A constant exchange/barrage of messaging apps and texts and shit...it's for the birds.  I'll never understand people's fascination with people.  

Why do people walk on the right-hand side of a street when there's no sidewalk?

Do these dumb motherfuckers have a death wish?  Or just ultimate trust in the drivers coming up behind them?

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