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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Posted Images

Random things that don't... 

First time I've worked in Waco since cab rapelor etc...and I really didn't think I could hate this shithole more than I did ..I was wrong.  God help me.

On 12/14/2019 at 8:32 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Yeah, actually smoking inside the house shows pretty bad judgment. 

Yep, wouldn't want anyone that damned dumb watching my child.

On 12/18/2019 at 5:54 PM, HouTex said:

What the hell is the popular perfume that many women are using now that smells exactly like Raid bug spray? I can’t believe that shit is popular.

 

 

On 12/18/2019 at 7:40 PM, CooterBrown said:

 


No idea but that explains why a lady at work smells like bug spray.

 

Bitches gotta kill those crabs somehow.

On 12/21/2019 at 12:11 AM, ROFL BOX said:

Obv. T-shirt aggy or Land Thieves... the question is, WHERE?cbbe6cc1acdfb0722a13505a20e45e5b.jpg

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
 

...and what are they doing with Case McCoy?

On 1/9/2020 at 10:54 PM, mulletpelini said:

Have you ever noticed the sound of chili hitting the bowl sounds exactly the same 3-5 hours later

...for those who are into pegging anyways.

On 1/22/2020 at 3:17 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

 

 

On 1/25/2020 at 7:53 PM, Lobo said:

Nope, everybody knows the best way to keep from losing your hair is genetics.  Quit letting your mom fuck bald guys and you'll maintain a thick, lustrous mane like me.  I'm 43 and my hair is literally getting thicker as I get older.  Sure that means mom is banging every Robert Goulet doppelganger in the Western Suburbs of Chicago, but that means I get the phenomenal hair-DNA passed down to me that I deserve.  Seriously, I gotta get it cut every 3 weeks it's so magnificent.

From someone losing their hair....I hope your dick falls off to balance things out.

Edited by SHOOTER12

Sorry for your loss.  Thoughts and prayers.  ;)

Manly hair aside, Though i have to admit, part of it is obviously from fatigue from two little kids and getting old.  Stamina has never been an issue and I can certainly "get in the mood" rather easily, but about 10 minutes in... my guy is just no longer on my team and I feel like trying one of those organic products like Green Lumber, et. al.  Anybody have any advice on these types of products this side of heavy duty pharma?  

Edited by Lobo

what happens after 10 mins?  Aren't you supposed to be asleep in 10 mins?  Am I doing this wrong?

On 2/13/2020 at 1:56 PM, StruggleBus said:

Do people even use personal email anymore? Outside of a business context and for logging into websites, what's the point?

This. Anyone that I want to communicate with texts. If it longer or a big file they'll texted me that they emailed it.

13 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

what happens after 10 mins?  Aren't you supposed to be asleep in 10 mins?  Am I doing this wrong?

Why does it take you 9 minutes to fall asleep?

It should be professionally acceptable to choke out your boss in front of the project team and client if he is a total disrespectful dickhead.

Should apply to anyone really, not just a boss.

5 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

Why does it take you 9 minutes to fall asleep?

cleanup.

Spoiler

tenor.gif?itemid=14662010

 

I saw a Natural Light sparking beverage the other day (next to the White Claw). Not sure what the category of beverage is called, but the Natty light name hit it out of the ballpark for me.  

Natural Light:  Catalina Lime Mixer

Sadly, the play on words is lost on their target demographic but that's just top-fucking-notch right there.  

Presidents Day should be changed to George Mortherfuckin Washington’s Day (Opponents Beware!)

21 hours ago, Lobo said:

I saw a Natural Light sparking beverage the other day (next to the White Claw). Not sure what the category of beverage is called, but the Natty light name hit it out of the ballpark for me.  

Natural Light:  Catalina Lime Mixer

Sadly, the play on words is lost on their target demographic but that's just top-fucking-notch right there.  

Aloha Beaches

A friend asked an interesting question that I can't seem to find an answer to. How hot does the barrel of a 16" gun get when a single round is fired? Hot enough to fry Cher's cooch?

b038fccd455a0492535d8f99493f0294_395.jpg

On 2/17/2020 at 7:34 PM, Lobo said:

I saw a Natural Light sparking beverage the other day (next to the White Claw). Not sure what the category of beverage is called, but the Natty light name hit it out of the ballpark for me.  

Natural Light:  Catalina Lime Mixer

Sadly, the play on words is lost on their target demographic but that's just top-fucking-notch right there.  

You think “Catalina Lime Mixer” is lost on 21-30 year olds when the movie is only 12 years old? It’s not an obscure Movie. 

13 hours ago, Thetexashammer said:

Apparently, Lena Dunham made her "runway debut". 

shocked john belushi GIF

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

You think “Catalina Lime Mixer” is lost on 21-30 year olds when the movie is only 12 years old? It’s not an obscure Movie. 

No, according to your math, I don't think a lot of 9 year olds watched "Step Brothers."  But then, I have zero idea what nine year olds watch in this century.  

That's why I posted it on the Random Thoughts thread, it was just a funny observation about a new beverage.  Thank you for contribution a thread that's not really supposed to be about your analysis.  

As seen on the wall at my four year old's favorite restaurant - Conveyor Belt Sushi. 

20200217_132923.jpg

20200217_132927.jpg

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

16 hours ago, RPM said:

Hot enough to fry Cher's cooch?

"Damn, this August weather is hot. Hot enough to fry Cher's cooch!"

On 2/18/2020 at 4:12 PM, Thetexashammer said:

Apparently, Lena Dunham made her "runway debut". 

  Hide contents

lena-dunham.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=6

Bonus pic:

GettyImages-1165163420.jpg

 

Runway? Huh... I thought blimps would mostly utilize vertical take off and landing. 

4 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Runway? Huh... I thought blimps would mostly utilize vertical take off and landing. 

z-ZqWAX1cQGHWofEBWAFU4uZTuCegnmpnJuWUWjQ

After his surgery, Tommy John pitched another 14 seasons winning 167 games.  That was after his surgery, and after he had already played 10 seasons and won 121 games. ANd his control got better, after the surgery he never walked more than 61 guys in a season despite regularly hurling over 200 innings. 

Nowadays, a guy has that surgery and he's basically shut down for the rest of his career.  

If you have to have a surgery, have it named after you. 

On 2/19/2020 at 12:37 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

As seen on the wall at my four year old's favorite restaurant - Conveyor Belt Sushi. 

Reminds me of this poster in my Hong Kong hotel's elevator. We just landed and after seeing this I thought wow I could really use a nice burger and fries. Turns out they don't sell ANYTHING in the picture and as you can see in the corner "photos are for reference only". Goddammit lol

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Just renewed my drivers license at one of the DPS Mega Centers. Unreal...I was in and out in 15 mins...



As seen on the wall at my four year old's favorite restaurant - Conveyor Belt Sushi. 


Love that shit.

Is that Kura in Austin, or is there a chain called "conveyor Belt Sushi"?
On 2/20/2020 at 6:15 AM, Lobo said:

Nowadays, a guy has that surgery and he's basically shut down for the rest of his career.  

Know how we know you don't follow baseball?

How?  By shut down, I mean regularly limited and periodically ‘rested’ for rest of his career.  Hyperbole man.  This is random thoughts, not the baseball thread. Thanks though, I played division one college baseball, albeit for just one fall semester.   But thanks.  

Edited by Lobo

21 minutes ago, gecko said:

Just renewed my drivers license at one of the DPS Mega Centers. Unreal...I was in and out in 15 mins...

I renewed mine online.  In and out in 0 minutes.

Just now, Lobo said:

How?

TJ surgery is far from a career ender, that's how.  Lots of guys get it and make full comebacks.

20 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Love that shit.

Is that Kura in Austin, or is there a chain called "conveyor Belt Sushi"?

 

Kura in Schaumburg, IL. 

They were giving out insulated plastic cups with the logo on them with each $60+ bill the other day, so of course, I had to gorge myself to get the kid another trinket. 

The first time I took him to one (Torrance, CA? Little Tokyo?) he got really freaked out by the evil ninja on the tablet because he thought the ninja really was in Los Angeles with us, and that he was on his way to the restaurant. Pretty funny in hindsight, as we've defeated the ninja so many times now that we are disappointed when he's our first quest. 

If you haven't had the Golden Crunchy Roll, change that immediately. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

In and out in 0 minutes.

Sounds like my wedding night. 

2 hours ago, gecko said:

Just renewed my drivers license at one of the DPS Mega Centers. Unreal...I was in and out in 15 mins...

Why not do it online in under 5?

You have to do it in person at least every other time.  That's why mine has been expired for 6 months.  I have to take my son to renew his learner's permit though so I'll finally get it done.

5 hours ago, Underdog said:

Sounds like my wedding night. 

It was fun for all of us.

Why not do it online in under 5?

Had to go in for this renewal. Not all renewals can be done on line.

PSA: TSA precheck can be renewed on line.

The whole NowThis fiasco has me double and triple checking links I post anywhere.  

12 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

The whole NowThis fiasco has me double and triple checking links I post anywhere.  

What are you trying to hide?

On 2/22/2020 at 4:11 PM, closetohumping said:

I need to not be bothered by other people's idiotic driving.

Good luck. 

I hear the Astros are receiving death threats, and I am sure that's somewhat unpleasant for their players, but.... it seems like anyone who ever does anything even mildly unpopular gets death threats, and the follow-through on them is so low on a percentage basis that I don't really think it's newsworthy. It doesn't seem like anyone really wants to kill any of the recipients of death threats. 

 

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