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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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If there were a presidential election between Democrat Colin Kaepernick and Republican Craig James, would the inauguration of the Libertarian candidate be before or after every single thread on the football board got locked for being too Cloak Roomy?

Ever hit the stalls at work when you don't even need to take a shit, just to get away from everything for a few minutes?

Reminds me of something I saw scratched on the wall of one of the restrooms I'd hit... I think it was in the music building, maybe the Six Pack, I'm not sure... it was a long time ago:

Some come here to sit and think

Some come here to shit and stink

I come here to scratch my balls

And write nutty poems on the walls

In the stall at Nasty’s back in the day: In the womb, we’s all blind cavefish!

10 hours ago, Thetexashammer said:

Why is Valieria Jarrett dressed as Austin Powers?

Valerie-Jarrett-200x150.jpg

Election season makes you randy! 

Also wtf is that spelling of her name? Are you some kind of imbecile? 

13 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

If a daughter is breastfed, does she have a greater chance of becoming a lesbian?

Needs more research. With lots of videos.

13 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Can women with fake tits breastfeed?

Sure, if you don't mind getting synthetic milk.

16milk_0.jpg.crop_display.jpg

If you are in a coma? Do you still shit and piss?

CHIEF

Can anyone explain to me why people are putting pronouns on their resume? I just posted a listing looking for someone to do consulting work with me and I'm so confused. "Jane Doe - her/she". "Mike Smith they/their". What the fuck?

4 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

Can anyone explain to me why people are putting pronouns on their resume? I just posted a listing looking for someone to do consulting work with me and I'm so confused. "Jane Doe - her/she". "Mike Smith they/their". What the fuck?

Option one- They are gender fluid/identify differently than their biological sex

Option two- They're trying to be respectful of those folks who fall under option one.

Option three- They're virtue signaling.

Amnesty shouldn't be granted to stupid questions asked in the random thoughts thread. 

For example: You're in a coma, you're not dead. Did you ever take a fucking biology class?

 

So, thats how SEC gets the best players to some of the non blueblood programs (takes notes in little book)...

 

On 2/18/2020 at 6:12 PM, Thetexashammer said:

Apparently, Lena Dunham made her "runway debut". 

Hey, you can’t land that 767 here!

19 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

Can anyone explain to me why people are putting pronouns on their resume? I just posted a listing looking for someone to do consulting work with me and I'm so confused. "Jane Doe - her/she". "Mike Smith they/their". What the fuck?

"Please don't hire me"

They need to wash they ass.  

Edited by Lobo

Did NASA or the Soviet space program ever think of sending dwarves or midgets or little people into space instead of...standard sized people?  That’d be less weight to put into orbit and capsules could’ve been smaller.

Did NASA or the Soviet space program ever think of sending dwarves or midgets or little people into space instead of...standard sized people?  That’d be less weight to put into orbit and capsules could’ve been smaller.
And thus smaller launch pads too...... Mini Pads
9 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

Did NASA or the Soviet space program ever think of sending dwarves or midgets or little people into space instead of...standard sized people?  That’d be less weight to put into orbit and capsules could’ve been smaller.

No but the did consider these.

Seem very adapt to working in zero gravity.

giphy.gif

 

3 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

If Notre Dame translates to "Our Lady" in French, why are they called the Fighting Irish?

It only you had a research tool literally at your fingertips that you could use to look that up. 

14 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

Did NASA or the Soviet space program ever think of sending dwarves or midgets or little people into space instead of...standard sized people?  That’d be less weight to put into orbit and capsules could’ve been smaller.

Check out The Right Stuff.  They considered several types of guys.  If you believe the film, Ike insisted on test pilots.

The Scots are on the metric system except for road distances they use miles.  They also measure beer in pints.

^  That's what happens when you're fucked up half the time.  

On 3/9/2020 at 7:36 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

"Please don't hire me"

"If you're offended, I probably don't want to work for you."

If you want to make a memorable first impression, like say you're concerned you'll introduce yourself to someone and they'll forget your name, just introduce yourself with your first name and then the last name "Hitler". "Hi, I'm John Hitler". They'll never forget your name.

2 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

Microwaves shouldn't beep.

At the very least, give us the option like dryers do.

What would stop one from getting a bag full of $2.99/lb honey crisp apples and at the self checkout typing in the number for the on sale $0.99/lb galas? Are we all really working on the honor system? Are there people on the security cameras rooting this out? Seems like a very easy scam to get away with, if one were so inclined.

Edited by 'stache

1 hour ago, 'stache said:

What would stop one from getting a bag full of $2.99/lb honey crisp apples and at the self checkout typing in the number for the on sale $0.99/lb galas? Are we all really working on the honor system? Are there people on the security cameras rooting this out? Seems like a very easy scam to get away with, if one were so inclined.

I bought some apples the other day and it rang up the weight wrong (about 2 lbs of apples rang up for 0.1 lbs). Fuck 'em for their error. It's the cost of making me do their job for them.

On March 17, 2020 at 10:43 AM, 'stache said:

What would stop one from getting a bag full of $2.99/lb honey crisp apples and at the self checkout typing in the number for the on sale $0.99/lb galas? 

In my experience, nothing. I probably scam my grocer out of several dollars every year by engaging in that sort of practice. 

I usually just grab an apple to snack on while shopping and then leaving the core on some shelf for the store to clean up. 

3 hours ago, Underdog said:

I usually just grab an apple to snack on while shopping and then leaving the core on some shelf for the store to clean up. 

My grocery has waste baskets. 

19 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

In my experience, nothing. I probably scam my grocer out of several dollars every year by engaging in that sort of practice. 

Cool, so not only are you an asshole

 

On 3/8/2020 at 3:58 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Amnesty shouldn't be granted to stupid questions asked in the random thoughts thread. 

For example: You're in a coma, you're not dead. Did you ever take a fucking biology class?

On 3/10/2020 at 2:53 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

It only you had a research tool literally at your fingertips that you could use to look that up. 

 

you’re also a thief.

9 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

My grocery has waste baskets. 

Where's the fun in that? 

 

1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

my fight club wants to get together virtually this week

fuck, these guys are lame

Uh...I think  you broke a rule.

Undeniably insurance companies have created legendary iconic commercials.  Progressive, geico, State Farm all resonate.   The general needs to be bitten by limu emu.  Both horrible 

I miss the cute little State Farm rep from years back during MM. 

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