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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • 58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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#2102
2 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

He's set to be a politician or hedge fund manager.

Or a lawyer. 

<ducking and running for cover>

#2103

I honestly had no idea that Dennis Hopper died 10 years ago.  

#2106

I'm watching Super Bowl 42 replay, and realize that at least 2 players, Junior Seau and Jared Lorenzen are both dead.  I'm guessing there's others, and not to mention how many people in that crowd that are dead as well, many could be from just the past couple months.

#2107
I honestly had no idea that Dennis Hopper died 10 years ago.  
Me neither. Literally just Googled it. 2010. He was coaching on Hoosiers just last week?
#2109

Big time drug and hooker bust at the Red Roof Inn in Waco a little bit ago. Right in front of my room. Look at all the huge foil packages on the trunk of the cara86e550b4cd723d73b082d62e07ab6c1.jpg

There were about 20 popo on the scene many with M-16's
 

Edited by SHOOTER12

#2110
3 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Big time drug and hooker bust at the Red Roof Inn in Waco a little bit ago. Right in front of my room. Look at all the huge foil packages on the trunk of the cara86e550b4cd723d73b082d62e07ab6c1.jpg

There were about 20 popo on the scene many with M-16's
 

You’re ok to bond out?

#2112

Considering renting a hair brush... ain't gonna need that bitch once the barber shops open up again.

#2114

An idle hand, the devil's workshop and a community pool whose maintenance was deemed non-essential 4 weeks ago. What could go wrong?

 

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#2116

I think we should all follow Lina H's order and wear masks.   Let's all order Guy Fawkes masks and roll around town.  Maybe go to one of her press conferences and stand behind her. I might even be aroused enough to bang her if she had one on.

#2117
On 4/19/2020 at 10:06 PM, El Diablo said:

An idle hand, the devil's workshop and a community pool whose maintenance was deemed non-essential 4 weeks ago. What could go wrong?

 

20200419_174432.jpg

20200419_174454.jpg

20200419_174626.jpg

20200419_174809.jpg

20200419_174836.jpg

DSC_8987_00001.jpg

huh?

#2118
On 4/19/2020 at 10:06 PM, El Diablo said:

An idle hand, the devil's workshop and a community pool whose maintenance was deemed non-essential 4 weeks ago. What could go wrong?

 

20200419_174432.jpg

20200419_174454.jpg

20200419_174626.jpg

20200419_174809.jpg

20200419_174836.jpg

DSC_8987_00001.jpg

huh?

#2120
4 hours ago, El Diablo said:

You can say that again.

so, you glued a rock on the hand and put the hand at the bottom of the pool?

#2121

Actually the rock is a weight to get the hand to float optimally. After experimenting with it in the sink I used the silicone to seal up the hole in the hand and also glue the rock to the wrist end. Makes the fingers on the hand point upward that way, reaching for the sky as it were. 

#2123
9 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

why the fuck is your pool so green? 

 a community pool whose maintenance was deemed non-essential 4 weeks ago.

#2125
5 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

I’d still go throw some chlorine tablets in there.

Does the hand have Covid or something?  

#2128
10 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Does anything taste as healthy and wholesome as fresh picked dewberries?

Nope...

#2129

I think the Google homepage should quit being cute with the music notes 'n shit, and just be the current day of the week on top of the search field.  I was oscillating between Tuesday and Friday until about 7am this morning.  Really fucked me up.  

#2131

Yeah, I think "No Mask.  No Gloves.  No Service" is gonna be the new "No Shirt.  No Shoes.  No Service."  

All this nipple to eyeball contact has just gotta stop.  

#2133
39 minutes ago, burntorangebongos said:

How come I can stand in a crowd of 15 people and be the only one bit by mosquitos?

Blood type.  I thought it was an old wives tale for decades.  But it is absolutely true that mosquitoes go for blood type O first either positive or negative.  And then they go for all the other blood groups after that.  

#2135
13 minutes ago, burntorangebongos said:

I'm A positive so you are a gullible pendejo. hahaha

My bad.  Also mosquitoes target men with erectile disfunction first  ;) 

#2136
9 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

How come I can stand in a crowd of 15 people and be the only one bit by mosquitos?

Maybe they're attracted to those big, bouncing breasts. 

#2137

Just passed through Bruceville- Eddy. Still have more than 1/2 a tank of gas.  

#2138
On 5/8/2020 at 1:14 PM, Iceman said:

Just passed through Bruceville- Eddy. Still have more than 1/2 a tank of gas.  

post/thread correlation: 100%

#2140

You ever walk around in your attic and step on a cat 5 cable with your left foot, then the cable goes between your flip flop and toes on your right foot, and you fall through the ceiling dislocating your left shoulder catching yourself so you don't fall 10 feet to planet earth? 

Just curious. 

#2141
23 minutes ago, markstanco said:

You ever walk around in your attic and step on a cat 5 cable with your left foot, then the cable goes between your flip flop and toes on your right foot, and you fall through the ceiling dislocating your left shoulder catching yourself so you don't fall 10 feet to planet earth? 

Just curious. 

d576d6ca1ac6a802af5a7c8694fd631a.gif

#2142
13 hours ago, markstanco said:

You ever walk around in your attic and step on a cat 5 cable with your left foot, then the cable goes between your flip flop and toes on your right foot, and you fall through the ceiling dislocating your left shoulder catching yourself so you don't fall 10 feet to planet earth? 

Just curious. 

Not my own attic, no.

#2143
22 hours ago, markstanco said:

You ever walk around in your attic and step on a cat 5 cable with your left foot, then the cable goes between your flip flop and toes on your right foot, and you fall through the ceiling dislocating your left shoulder catching yourself so you don't fall 10 feet to planet earth? 

Just curious. 

Flip-flops in the attic. Good call. 

#2146

Adding, I'm left handed and its my left shoulder. Wiping my ass today was a challenge. I had to wash my hands longer that the recommended time per the cdc.

#2150
12 hours ago, Helobious said:

How is every landmass on earth not technically an island

I have had this same thought. 

~~~~~

When I hear "limited edition" in a marketing context (and to a lesser extent, "for a limited time only") I often consider the fact that virtually everything is a limited edition and for a limited time only. Our entire planet is finite, dicknuts. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

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