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On 7/5/2020 at 6:33 PM, Fudge Nuggets said:

Typing was probably the most useful class I took in high school.

I refused to take HS typing because I didn't want to get stuck typing stuff.

Years later I solved that problem by just not showing up to job interviews.

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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2 hours ago, Rougarou said:

If you shop at walmart, are you even a Karen? I thought Karen's were supposed to be at least upper middle class.

Karen wants to speak to the manager. A classic Walmart shopper would just yell at the clerk. Karen actually understands the concept of an organizational chart, even if she's got to be a Karen about it.

Everyone shops at Walmart from time to time. Including Karen’s.

On 7/18/2020 at 2:43 PM, lockport said:

Can you imagine working at Walmart

No.

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Is it me or is Godzilla on that bottle?

Oh yeah, I see it.  And I'm stone cold sober.  But he's got like a platypus thing for a right arm?  Must be a long-term effect of the radiation and Xylitol.  

I’ve never really enjoyed the finger bang.  love to eat pussy, love to fuck pussy, but the finger bang, to me, always seemed tedious.

You're doing it wrong then. It's not supposed to be that much fun for you, and even they don't enjoy it all that much.  Try a different technique like going knuckles up towards the clitoris instead of downward/scooping motion.  The real purpose of the "finger-bang" as you and the rest of street toughs put it...is to coat the inside of the vagina.  You can get her as wet as you/she wants, but women don't uniformly get wet down there.  Some parts are wetter/drier than others.  If you're getting ready for sex, you can do all the oral you want, you gotta get in there with the fingers and uniformly distribute the fluids around from opening to cervix, from top to bottom so it's all ready to go (and if you do it right, it should continue to heighten the natural lubrication process).  

It's half foreplay, half job site prep.  

I like the hard hat. It shows he’s serious about safety.

6 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

His wife looks about as pleased as mine would be.

Is he wearing a Pith helmet?  Also, it appears his daughter was also a key architect for the penis palace.

Ice cream would be better with most flavors if it was half peanut butter.

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I find myself wearing a mask, and for some reason my brain thinks my eyes are covered.  I keep staring at womens juggs and then suddenly realize they can see exactly where I'm staring.

6 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

I find myself wearing a mask, and for some reason my brain thinks my eyes are covered.  I keep staring at womens juggs and then suddenly realize they can see exactly where I'm staring.

Saturday Night Live Snl GIF

On 7/22/2020 at 6:38 PM, Gardner Barnes said:

Penis castle
c0c0d0e22da4e376dc1f5c9e709b9d2e.jpg

Your penis must be weird. 

The word “Analogy” could also be used for butthole studies 

2 minutes ago, NAVY said:

The word “Analogy” could also be used for butthole studies 

comedy_stevenwright.jpg.jpe?cb=64c3ca535

Just now, NAVY said:

For real? Was that a Steven Wright thought? 

If it isn't, it should be.

4 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

comedy_stevenwright.jpg.jpe?cb=64c3ca535

For real? Was that a Steven Wright thought? 

1 consumer trend I appreciate is lots of things are fabric-covered now whereas they used to be plastic.  Sections of car interior.  Loudspeakers.  Sneakers.  Baggage/storage type things like my headphone case has fabric exterior.    Such a better material

On 7/24/2020 at 12:45 AM, mulletpelini said:

I find myself wearing a mask, and for some reason my brain thinks my eyes are covered.  I keep staring at womens juggs and then suddenly realize they can see exactly where I'm staring.

This happens to me with glasses since I wear contacts most of the time. My brain thinks I have sunglasses on and I'm like Costanza in front of Denise Richards. 

Not that cracker types are officially ranked anywhere, but if they were, I am confident that Oyster crackers would be underrated. 

The small, slightly puffy hexagons are the best of the various subtypes. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

labradors and golden retrievers are basically identical dogs, except labs can come in different colors, amirite

And Goldens have way more hair to shed.

13 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Not that cracker types are officially ranked anywhere, but if they were, I am confident that Oyster crackers would be underrated. 

The small, slightly puffy hexagons are the best of the various subtypes. 

Good call. I remember those were appetizers at the seafood restaurant we'd eat at when we were kids.

I had this random thought/topic, which is an unpopular opinion, that this this thread seems like it exists under other names and is redundant...I don’t get it, why do we have three threads nibbling around the same strike zone?

2 minutes ago, Rougarou said:

I had this random thought/topic, which is an unpopular opinion, that this this thread seems like it exists under other names and is redundant...I don’t get it, why do we have three threads nibbling around the same strike zone?

Just throw the damn pitch already, Orel Hershiser

10 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

Just throw the damn pitch already, Orel Hershiser

It’s The Bulldog to you, struggling minor league bus.

The saying

”I’d bet dollars to doughnuts...” 

will die off due to inflation 

I could go for a doughnut. 

Universal truth
The saying
”I’d bet dollars to doughnuts...” 
will die off due to inflation 

Both “A penny for your thoughts” and “My two cents” say hi!

My high school’s motto was “cardinal spirit never dies”. I have no idea why they didn’t just make it “cardinal pride never dies”. So much more smooth. 

1 hour ago, General Specific said:


Both “A penny for your thoughts” and “My two cents” say hi!

Who was the comedian that said both of those expressions and then said, "Wait a minute, somebody's making a penny."  

I wonder if it's possible to operate one of those remote control cpap implants from beyond the grave. 

Like if you get buried with it, might your kids come by your grave and operate it every now and then just to fuck with your carcass? 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

didnt know where else to put this    entire history of the world. its a cool watch.  goes pretty fast though.  

 

 

That’s very cool. I enjoy those kinds of videos.

10 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Kids today don't realize how big Huey Lewis and the News was in 1984.

They gotta get backntime

While necessary if you don't have an external one, the built-in mouse on a laptop might be the most worthless item on a laptop.

That population counter was bullshit showing a linear increase. Humanity came close to being wiped out a few times, but unfortunately pulled through/Brisket.

On 7/28/2020 at 6:21 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Not that cracker types are officially ranked anywhere, but if they were, I am confident that Oyster crackers would be underrated. 

The small, slightly puffy hexagons are the best of the various subtypes. 

If you think they are good plain you should try this....

 

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/15956/ranch-oyster-crackers/

 

Friend from undergrad brought up this argument I had 10 years ago that I refuse to back down from: Weezer's song "Beverly Hills" is a rip off of Steve Miller Band's "The Joker". Same style, same cadence, and even the little moments in The Joker are featured in Beverly Hills. 

Have you guys ever seen a Hippo up close, like at the zoo?

It's uncanny how much it looks like a pig (River horse is a complete whiff, Greeks). Same body shape and a lot of characteristics of a pig.

My question or random thought: Has anyone ever had Hippo meat? Hork, maybe? Hippork?

I bet those slices of bacon would be huge and probably delicious. Is that a thing in, like, Africa? Imagine the deliciousness of Hippo meat...

Edited by Rougarou

1 minute ago, Rougarou said:

Have you guys ever seen a Hippo up close, like at the zoo?

It's uncanny how much it looks like a pig (River horse is a complete whiff, Greeks). Same body shape and a lot of characteristics of a pig.

My question or random thought: Has anyone ever had Hippo meat? Hork, maybe? Hippork?

I bet those slices of bacon would be huge and probably delicious. Is that a thing in, like, Africa? Imagine the deliciousness of Hippo meat...

Whoa. First Google hit: 

"Today, most Americans wouldn't know what hippopotamus tastes like. This might not have been the case if the ambitious plan to import great numbers of hippos to the United States was implemented in the early 1900's. Here's the full story of how hippos almost became a staple of American dinner tables."

 

 

I’ve eaten lots of hippos -Vic

Draining the windex out of someone’s windex bottle and replacing it with blue Powerade is one of my life goals.

Here is a link to the "import them for meat" section of a very comprehensive and interesting Twitter thread about what absolute monsters hippos are.

If you've got the time, I recommend reading the entire thread from the top, not from the middle that I've linked to. Fascinating shit. 

 

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