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22 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Try passing a kidney stone while suffering from shingles

Was dealing with shingles during Jr's wedding weekend a couple of years ago, fucking miserable especially whenever we hit rough, bumpy roads.  

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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On November 2, 2020 at 11:39 PM, Scheiss Meister said:

Cramps are the worst?  Bullshit.  Dry socket where both lower wisdom teeth were laughs at your cramps.  Or a nice abscess in your ear about an inch into your head.  The pain from the abscess hit all at once, like someone stabbed me in the jaw.  Both the dry sockets and the abscess had me on the ground, begging someone to shoot me.  Thank goodness no one liked me enough to do it.

Try confusing a bottle of this with a bottle of Visine and, in the dark, putting a drop of it in your eye then going to the ER to get your eye flushed. 

nilodor-air-freshener-and-odor-neutraliz

24 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Try confusing a bottle of this with a bottle of Visine and, in the dark, putting a drop of it in your eye then going to the ER to get your eye flushed. 

nilodor-air-freshener-and-odor-neutraliz

Ouch.  I bet that stung.

5 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Ouch.  I bet that stung.

It really did. And then at the ER they put some drops in my eye to numb it which didn't really numb it all that much and I had to stare right into this stream of saline solution that they were using to flush it. 

I let the expletives fly. 

7 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

It really did. And then at the ER they put some drops in my eye to numb it which didn't really numb it all that much and I had to stare right into this stream of saline solution that they were using to flush it. 

I let the expletives fly. 

Funny how much the expletives help, or seem to, isn't it?

Are Romance languages trans-phobic since they inherently assign a gender to nouns and adjectives?

26 minutes ago, Kyle said:

Are Romance languages trans-phobic since they inherently assign a gender to nouns and adjectives?

Yes, you fucking bigot

It's just one more example of the violence inherent in the system.

How Not to Market Your Rest Home

Calling around looking for a place for mom, one said "We're usually full, but with COVID, we have a bunch of rooms available."

 

 

17 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Keys, Phone, Wallet, Mask, Sanitizer 

One of the best reasons to not smoke or pick it up is that cigs + lighter is such a pain in the ass add to this.

At least when I'm driving myself I know I have a mask and lighter in the car already. 

32 minutes ago, ztejas said:

One of the best reasons to not smoke or pick it up is that cigs + lighter is such a pain in the ass add to this.

At least when I'm driving myself I know I have a mask and lighter in the car already. 

It's also a good reason not to carry a slice of cherry pie and a plastic fork around with you.

For at least 20 years I have been trying to remember the name of a movie I saw as a kid.  Just now I randomly came across it while scrolling through the guide.  The itch in my brain has finally been scratched.  Nearly orgasmic.

And that movie was Superfuzz.

And that movie was Superfuzz.

Watched that all the time growing up. There were several dubbed Italian movies starring the same guy on the Showtime rotation back then. Licensing must’ve been a package deal.

My wife had some girlfriends over tonight. I shut down the house, and got damn i literally (counted) turned of 12 lamps. Why in TF do we need 12 lamps turned on.

2 minutes ago, markstanco said:

My wife had some girlfriends over tonight. I shut down the house, and got damn i literally (counted) turned of 12 lamps. Why in TF do we need 12 lamps turned on.

Why do you have 12 lamps?

On 11/6/2020 at 10:52 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Keys, Phone, Wallet, Mask, Sanitizer 

Knife wallet keys and phone 

Glasses mask laptop home 

(leaving the office checklist, sung to 'head shoulders knees and toes') 

Lady I was to have a meeting with texted me earlier that she had to cancel suddenly, her son had to have emergency testicular torsion surgery. Had to google that one. Ouch. Guess he got his panties in a wad.

Edited by El Diablo

1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

Lady I was to have a meeting with texted me earlier that she had to cancel suddenly, her son had to have emergency testicular torsion surgery. Had to google that one. Ouch. Guess he got his panties in a wad.

Or a wad in his panties.... Had a student get that once; the school clinician just reached in and... uh... "unrotated" it. The look of relief on his face was immediate.

I've had an Evernote account for forever.  Didn't use it seriously at first, so the password was ultra weak.  Then I progressively used it more for shopping notes, travel notes, even work notes, all sorts of shit... and then ignored it for last few years.

 

This morning got email alert that my account was signed on from Ecuador.  Then I checked the website history and it shows my account had signed on every few months from fucking China, Ukraine, Venezuela, etc etc etc.

 

Now I'm sure no actual individual sat there and read through the stuff, and I didn't have any ultra confidential in there, or ultra personal/sensitive in there.  The work stuff requires a bit of context to understand.  But damn it's embarassing and vulnerable to feel like someone snooped through all your shit

On 11/8/2020 at 12:53 AM, markstanco said:

My wife had some girlfriends over tonight. I shut down the house, and got damn i literally (counted) turned of 12 lamps. Why in TF do we need 12 lamps turned on.

Now imagine how many throw pillows...

you know, the nazis had 12 candles they made the jews light

For decades, I have offered folks viable ideas for making a career promoting Texas foodstuffs., (To the logical question, I am happy in my career).

Dried mullet roe is the first of my identified Texas’ bounties to be commercially available. One pregnant mullet + curing yields $40 retail. I’ve sieved mullet along the coast. It remains solid advice.

One day, we will have a world class ham that is Texan. (Acorn and pig and know how).Texas will be a major producer of Argon oil. (Check out Morrocan longitude. We have goats). And somebody will make bank farming clytocybe nuda. 

Edited by Willfully Horn
Yes

Why do guys who ride road bikes feel the need to wear costumes? At lunch today and a few guys came in wearing the normal: sleeveless jean jackets with patches, do-rag, mirror glasses.

I have a truck. Should I wear a cowboy hat and a bolo tie when I drive it?

1 hour ago, markstanco said:

Why do guys who ride road bikes feel the need to wear costumes? At lunch today and a few guys came in wearing the normal: sleeveless jean jackets with patches, do-rag, mirror glasses.

I have a truck. Should I wear a cowboy hat and a bolo tie when I drive it?

I don’t have one and am not a biker fan at all, but I’ve been told that the leather/denim is for protection in case they tip/slide (most of them do at some point) but the sleeveless part kinda defeats that purpose.

Do-rag is for sweat and to keep hair from getting caught in the helmet.

I could guess on the glasses but don’t really know.

He already does. He’s just looking for affirmation.

8 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

I don’t have one and am not a biker fan at all, but I’ve been told that the leather/denim is for protection in case they tip/slide (most of them do at some point) but the sleeveless part kinda defeats that purpose.

Do-rag is for sweat and to keep hair from getting caught in the helmet.

I could guess on the glasses but don’t really know.

No leather for these guys, no helmets either.  But the costumes looked great!

Often on the road i see dumb drivers and I curse at them under my breath....then I took a ride with my folks today and realized that they do all the dumb shit I sneered at. 

 

They're pretty bad drivers

22 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

I don’t have one and am not a biker fan at all, but I’ve been told that the leather/denim is for protection in case they tip/slide (most of them do at some point) but the sleeveless part kinda defeats that purpose.

Do-rag is for sweat and to keep hair from getting caught in the helmet.

I could guess on the glasses but don’t really know.

So that's what the do rag does....

Wondering whether using the word “certainty” to describe the difference between intelligence and wisdom holds water. 

How is it that I haven't smoked a cigarette in 12 years, and I probably haven't even been around them beyond just passing someone on the street in a year or more, yet every so often when I blow my nose, it still really smells like cigarette smoke? 

Am I the only one who experiences this? 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

Maybe. I haven’t had a cigarette since Jan 8, 2003. Never had that issue. Maybe you are just gross.

Every few months I see a truck with a spoiler on the back, like today.

Why? It is the absolutely dumbest money waste ever. Serves no purpose and tags you as a douche. Just burn that 2 grand and you will be less douchy.

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

How is it that I haven't smoked a cigarette in 12 years, and I probably haven't even been around them beyond just passing someone on the street in a year or more, yet every so often when I blow my nose, it still really smells like cigarette smoke? 

Am I the only one who experiences this? 

For at least ten years after I had the gas chamber training in boot camp I smelled tear gas when I sneezed or blew my nose.  I guess a few molecules get stuck up in the olfactory system or sinuses and get released every once in a while.

1 hour ago, Scheiss Meister said:

For at least ten years after I had the gas chamber training in boot camp I smelled tear gas when I sneezed or blew my nose.  I guess a few molecules get stuck up in the olfactory system or sinuses and get released every once in a while.

Interesting. Is your sense of smell otherwise good or bad or remarkable in any way? 

Mine is so good it's sometimes a real liability.

7 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Interesting. Is your sense of smell otherwise good or bad or remarkable in any way? 

Mine is so good it's sometimes a real liability.

It's pretty good, which is a big help working with wastewater.  I sometimes know more about how a basin is doing from how it smells than from lab results.  But I do get "nose blind" to some of the more odious odors.  It's not that I don't smell them, I can ignore them better than others.

Right on - I'm much the same way. I guess the "lone odor molecule from a pervasive smell of the past" phenomenon could just be the price we pay for a good sense of smell, which in many ways is already a liability, at least when not viewing it as an adaptive survival mechanism.

I suspect that most people don't realize how much nearly everything stinks. 

We have done studies to try to control odors from our plants and learned that there is no sensor that can measure odorous compounds in the air at the low levels that the human nose can detect them.  It's difficult to control something that you can't measure.

20 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

For at least ten years after I had the gas chamber training in boot camp I smelled tear gas when I sneezed or blew my nose.  I guess a few molecules get stuck up in the olfactory system or sinuses and get released every once in a while.

It's more likely psychological. 

On 11/16/2020 at 8:06 AM, Scheiss Meister said:

We have done studies to try to control odors from our plants and learned that there is no sensor that can measure odorous compounds in the air at the low levels that the human nose can detect them.  It's difficult to control something that you can't measure.

Applies to a lot of things in life. 

On 10/25/2020 at 4:37 PM, TKthunder2 said:

When I’m away from my bidet and no wet wipes are available I just spit on some TP...is that weird?

Not all all. Your scenario means you're out of the house and using 220 grit for TP. A little spit turns it into a more comfortable 400 grit.

In March when were rumors that taking quinine could prevent covid, some dumb bitch on Nextdoor said there's quinine in tonic water, and a few cups a day would keep the covid away.

I did the math for her - she would need to drink about 5 gallons (don't remember the exact amount, but it was a lot) to get the "recommended" dosage. I told her she'd die of water poisoning before she getting enough. She called me an asshole for not being a dumbass.

I might have posted this elsewhere. Not in the last 2 pages of this thread. But the quinine in tonic water makes it fluoresce under black light. It gives your gin & tonic a bluish glow. It's pretty cool. 

So five gallons of gin and tonic a day then to stave off Covid-19?  Seems reasonable. 

You don't hear much about HCQ anymore.  Maybe add some gin?  

Edited by Lobo

My 12 yr old kiddo is 5'4 and 120 and just turned 12. I do not endorse fighting or retaliation unless the other won't stop, and he knows this. Then, all bets are off. Other bully kid who is 4'10" got a broke nose today in front of others after a hard shove to minime. Not even mad, and he didn't get ISS because of witnesses.

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