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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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Any 9/11 memorial labeled "Freedom This" or "Freedom That" has it wrong. It should be "They Got Us". It was all about safety vs. not being safe; freedom as a concept never really figured into any of that shit. 

In fact, hardly anybody who ever goes on and on about "freedom" is ever really thinking about what "freedom" actually means. They are usually the same people who bitch and moan about criminal court "technicalities" like warrants, and presumption of innocence, and whatnot.

I love freedom; I fucking hate people who talk about it.

On 11/13/2020 at 12:02 AM, markstanco said:

Why do guys who ride road bikes feel the need to wear costumes? At lunch today and a few guys came in wearing the normal: sleeveless jean jackets with patches, do-rag, mirror glasses.

I have a truck. Should I wear a cowboy hat and a bolo tie when I drive it?

Yes!

15 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

I fucking hate corn tortillas 

Fry it into a taco shell or a tostada shell. Otherwise, leave it in the fridge, you fucking troglodyte.

 

I heart shiner. But it is a really heavy beer. So during a football marathon ( today, Texas and okie lite game) i will get a 6 of shiner and 6 of ultra or miller lite for the 7 hours of football.

I just mixed a shiner and ultra in a yeti and wow, it is nice! Not shiner strong and not ultra weak.

I fucking hate corn tortillas 
HEB/CM corn and flour mix are money.
5 minutes ago, markstanco said:
11 hours ago, StruggleBus said:
I fucking hate corn tortillas 

HEB/CM corn and flour mix are money.

Yep, almost as good as Paco’s mix.

1 hour ago, markstanco said:


I just mixed a shiner and ultra in a yeti and wow, it is nice! Not shiner strong and not ultra weak.

what the fuck GIF

18 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

I fucking hate corn tortillas 

Never had a good corn tortilla?

SO great to see the son of a U.S. President getting coordinated with his ninja skills.  

3 hours ago, Lobo said:

SO great to see the son of a U.S. President getting coordinated with his ninja skills.  

What did the kid in the video do to deserve such a horrible insult?

I walked past a woodpecker the other day and thought, can that be the dumbest fucking animal on the planet?  Sitting on a tree limb all day banging your head against solid wood.

You've got wings, dumbass, go fly around, see the world.

On 12/29/2020 at 8:52 AM, Walden Ponderer said:

Any 9/11 memorial labeled "Freedom This" or "Freedom That" has it wrong. It should be "They Got Us". It was all about safety vs. not being safe; freedom as a concept never really figured into any of that shit. 

In fact, hardly anybody who ever goes on and on about "freedom" is ever really thinking about what "freedom" actually means. They are usually the same people who bitch and moan about criminal court "technicalities" like warrants, and presumption of innocence, and whatnot.

I love freedom; I fucking hate people who talk about it.

 

mel-gibson-freedom-gif-8.gif

8 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

This is badass but not quite Holy Shit! I am just mega impressed with his ninja skills.

 

Has anyone ever seen a slender person with Down’s Syndrome?

On 12/11/2020 at 3:17 PM, ztejas said:

If you drink Heineken I just assume you're a fucking moron.

Or at an Asian wedding.

On 1/3/2021 at 11:07 AM, burntorangebongos said:

This is badass but not quite Holy Shit! I am just mega impressed with his ninja skills.

 

This is my new favorite video. I'm sharing it with everyone. Thanks.

Swiss Miss no sugar hot chocolate with 2 scoops of the PB Fit protein powder is tits. Dash of cinnamon.

Friday afternoon beers commence at 2PM.  I'm proud of my ability to control Jeffrey Toobin-like urges.  I refrain from fapping it to Brenda Mondragon's rudeness.  Motorboat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cute bartender took my order for food to go and a nice milk stout for here. I am MMOB at the end of the bar.  Other dudes start giving her flirtatious shit for being so young.  She’s all embarrassed. I chime in that my son was also born in ‘93 and I think people their age are kicking ass and capable of great shit.  Dead silence.  
 

Fuck yeah.  Younger generation is ok. The stout was awesome. 

On 1/3/2021 at 7:39 PM, Incredulity said:

Has anyone ever seen a slender person with Down’s Syndrome?

Back when my sister used to go to summer respite there would always be a couple of 'slim' people there. The caregivers would joke that they were malnutrioned. 

I broke my CR cherry this evening. I'm not really sure how to feel about that. Strange times indeed.

I never wondered about my place in the universe, or where or how I fit in. I always thought in terms of bashing out a space for myself, and the bigger, the better.

I'm not in here with you. You're in here with me.

Edited by Rimbo

On 12/14/2020 at 10:11 PM, Llewelyn Moss said:

Does anybody else always quote Ed O’Neil, “Nothing burps better than bacon” from that 90s movie Dutch? I must have seen that flick 30 times on HBO back in the day. Highly underrated film. 

 

On 1/8/2021 at 6:20 PM, slorch said:

... I am MMOB at the end of the bar...

🤔 

 

AD2D5D81-4285-4118-BE41-A1CD2FFEBE8B.png

On 1/8/2021 at 7:20 PM, slorch said:

Cute bartender took my order for food to go and a nice milk stout for here. I am MMOB at the end of the bar.  Other dudes start giving her flirtatious shit for being so young.  She’s all embarrassed. I chime in that my son was also born in ‘93 and I think people their age are kicking ass and capable of great shit.  Dead silence.  
 

Fuck yeah.  Younger generation is ok. The stout was awesome. 

Were you cockblocking or hoping to nab them for yourself? 

Edited by Underdog

20 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Were you cockblocking or hoping to nab them for yourself? 

your question doesn't make sense...

I was fucking with the dudes giving the young lady hell.  It was funny.  She might have blown them all in the storeroom for all I know.

Don't care...had great beer and a laugh.

 

and LOLz at Futureman's find.   Minding My Own Business, you freak.

Edited by slorch

the life below zero commercials freak me out

I feel like if you tune in to the show you will probably find them eating people....and they will have plenty of regular food around they are just doing it for a treat

Sure he starts off each workday with a beer and a scotch then, but I would hire that guy every day and twice on Tuesday.  

I swear, the only being that feel my pain are my dogs. Not even my wife or kids. Nor my lifelong friends.

If I continually talk with my Ahnold impression to my 2 mo. old kid for the first 2 years of his life, would he talk the same way?

How fucking cool would that be at the first day of school.

Im 54; college kids today look to me like they’re 12 (with many notable female exceptions, but I digress). However, I look at pictures of college students from the late 50s/early 60s and those fuckers look older than I am now....

Took me a while to figure out all the hubbub over the Garth/Mitch Inauguration tweet/video.  

I think I'm suffering from Hank Hill Syndrome?  I have no butt to keep my jeans up so the belt is so tight, it's uncomfortable. 

I think I'm suffering from Hank Hill Syndrome?  I have no butt to keep my jeans up so the belt is so tight, it's uncomfortable. 
Brother?

At the movies with my youngest. Rented a theater room for his friends. I dobt eat candy but at the movies raisinetes get ordered and crushed.

I think I'm suffering from Hank Hill Syndrome?  I have no butt to keep my jeans up so the belt is so tight, it's uncomfortable. 

Time to buy a new cut of jeans, old man. What fit you when you were 30 ain’t gonna fit right at 40+ even with the same waist size.
On 1/22/2021 at 3:43 PM, Horn_Spanker said:

I think I'm suffering from Hank Hill Syndrome?  I have no butt to keep my jeans up so the belt is so tight, it's uncomfortable. 

spacer.png
 

Need some butt boobies? 

When did Planters stop putting Brazil nuts in their mixed nuts? Had to have been more than a year ago. I miss them.

I used to buy them on the reg.  And each pen would last a few weeks, but that was decades ago.  About a year ago, right before Covid-19 started and you could still trust your health to a stolen pen...I picked up a Uni-Ball Vision pen off a conference table.  I've been using it quite regularly for the last year (pretty much every day and I handwrite a lot).  It was already nearly empty when I "borrowed" it from an event.  It has no earthly reason to still have ink in it, it's bone dry (like South Austin's Mom).  But here it is on my desk, still going strong.  It's like a 'Twilight Zone' episode meets a Levenger stationery store.  I've used a thousand pens over my adult life as an old-school writer who doesn't always like typing.  And this thing has no ink in it but just keeps on writing.  /csb  

19 hours ago, Lobo said:

I used to buy them on the reg.  And each pen would last a few weeks, but that was decades ago.  About a year ago, right before Covid-19 started and you could still trust your health to a stolen pen...I picked up a Uni-Ball Vision pen off a conference table.  I've been using it quite regularly for the last year (pretty much every day and I handwrite a lot).  It was already nearly empty when I "borrowed" it from an event.  It has no earthly reason to still have ink in it, it's bone dry (like South Austin's Mom).  But here it is on my desk, still going strong.  It's like a 'Twilight Zone' episode meets a Levenger stationery store.  I've used a thousand pens over my adult life as an old-school writer who doesn't always like typing.  And this thing has no ink in it but just keeps on writing.  /csb  

And thus the Penikkah holiday was established.

God bless you.  I'm stealing that.  And naming yesterday as the first day of "Penukkah." First thing we're gonna need is an aluminum pole.  But smaller, like pen-size. 

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