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if that helps you

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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Huffle seems like it should make a comeback

Sounds like Hufflepuff was the house to join for those in the know.

As is a metric shit-ton.  You should know this, you were around during the Metric-Imperial Wars of 1824.  Didn't you shiv that guy with the 30cm blade?  

I am my own enemy of notifications on my phone. Got damn. Surly. Email. Texts. Motion cameras at four locations.

When you walk away from a conversation thinking, "Man, that dude is a little 'off'", do you ever think they are thinking the same thing?

Fuck no, you are the one that’s off

When you walk away from a conversation thinking, "Man, that dude is a little 'off'", do you ever think they are thinking the same thing?
Never. I post on this website so I know it's the other guy.

“The world really doesn’t need game show hosts and models.”  -  Drew Carey, game show host 

I mean, she's cute with a solid rack and looks to live an upper-middle-class lifestyle.  But that's not exactly rare, there's a million like that in this country.  It does not excuse her table nacho cone abortion.  

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

I mean, she's cute with a solid rack and looks to live an upper-middle-class lifestyle.  But that's not exactly rare, there's a million like that in this country.  It does not excuse her table nacho cone abortion.  

So much wrong in that video.  But the biggest thing that irritated me was that she was just putting that shit straight on the countertop.

Also why were the ingredients laid out in a line like on display for her just to mix it with a paint scraper?  Just dumb.

3 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

So much wrong in that video.  But the biggest thing that irritated me was that she was just putting that shit straight on the countertop.

Also why were the ingredients laid out in a line like on display for her just to mix it with a paint scraper?  Just dumb.

I was kind of okay with it being on the countertop.  I wouldn't eat it off someone else's countertop and I wouldn't do that to mine, but whatever.  Let's pretend it was on a sheet of wax paper or something.  The initial presentation was okay.  Then she brought out the paint scrapers.  I cringed, but still would probably eat.  Then she brought out the chips.  I'm thinking okay, she's gonna have a countertop chip slab. Nope. Cringe again and that's where I drew the line.  Would not.

5 hours ago, Pancho said:

 

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That looks like something I'd do 18 drinks deep. 

Couldn’t make it more than halfway through the video. I don’t know what she was trying to accomplish but it looked stupid and the vocal fry was obnoxious. 

She’s been laid on that countertop, believe that. 

I bet i have ate cereal 12 times in 30 years for a meal.

But if the lucky charm people would do just the marshmallows I'd be back.

Also, the PB inside of reeces cup. Put that shit in a jar. Not what you say it is now, the real stuff.

On 2/8/2021 at 5:17 PM, Pancho said:

Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them... for they know not what they do. 
-Luke 23:34

 

5 hours ago, markstanco said:

Also, the PB inside of reeces cup. Put that shit in a jar. Not what you say it is now, the real stuff.

Reese's Creamy Peanut Butter in a jar. I usually find it at my local HEB when it is open but also available at Walmart and from Amazon.

Edited by ScottS
ou sucks

Fuck you cancer. Right in the ass.

Fraternity brother who has exactly zero enemies in this world who constantly gives time and money to shelters is about to die at 51. Always giving his time to others in need.

Why do we wet the tooth brush bristles then put on toothpaste to wet the damn thing again.

Had no idea people did this.

It’s toothpaste, water, brush ya savage.

I haven't been able to stream a movie since Friday because too many people streaming or Spectrum didn't do enough to handle this load? Either way, I am irked. Now I have to watch the divergent marathon and it isn't that good. 

I get stoked buying mundane domestic shit and I dont care who knows it.  Gonna get a Miele cordless vacuum and it gives me the fuzzies.

In my neighborhood there is a place where a pothole reforms every 45ish days. Instead of using that black oil-dirt stuff, why don't they use a similar mix like when they made the road?

Well the company is the county. But I shake my head over not wanting to do it right the first time. 

Okay....near my house there is a midget that lives on at a house on the right. I've seen her mowing or whatnot for a few years.

But...

Today, heading south on the street, she went to check her mail while I was actually passing. Standing in 10 inches of snow. All I saw was torso up. Am I a bad person for laughing?

She might still be there if you didn't take them already.

 

good floss sticks are good

 

bad floss sticks are the fucking devil

increased percentage of Italian-Americans appearing in my LinkedIn "people you may know/want to connect to" feed all of the sudden
I'm a little suspicious
Wait until I show up on your connect feed...

It occurred to me that the two times you're most vulnerable is when you're sleeping and when you're standing at a urinal peeing.

7 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

It occurred to me that the two times you're most vulnerable is when you're sleeping and when you're standing at a urinal peeing.

So that 2AM piss is deadly.

8 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

It occurred to me that the two times you're most vulnerable is when you're sleeping

Revolutionary insight right there.

Quote

and when you're standing at a urinal peeing

Against anyone who isn’t worried about you turning around and peeing on them.

Why I sit at the urinal, keep an eye on you fucks. 

Mid-February - being the suckiest part of the year for me since 1989.  Seriously, fuck this part of this month.

5 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Mid-February - being the suckiest part of the year for me since 1989.  Seriously, fuck this part of this month.

February is the shittiest month for sports too. We should just skip right to March Madness.

9 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

February is the shittiest month for sports too. We should just skip right to March Madness.

Does Texas get to keep its projected 4 seed? If so - YES. 

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

February is the shittiest month for sports too. We should just skip right to March Madness.

Normally I'd agree but having a hard time doing so this year. 

12 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Normally I'd agree but having a hard time doing so this year. 

Spongebob Squarepants Good Luck GIF

We upgraded our water kettle recently, because I’m a dumbass but easily best appliance upgrade ever. 

Increased my tea intake so definitely drinking more water plus saves so much time  

 

61ELR-Bnl8L._AC_SL1400_.jpg

7 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

 

Crows are awesome.

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