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6 hours ago, Hairy Biped said:

He said that you would stunned how many people are robbed, attacked or assassinated with their dick in their hand.

I though we were going to keep that between us?

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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On 3/3/2021 at 12:33 PM, LW Goatman said:

We are closer to 2060 than 1980. 

Temporally, not spatially. 

On 3/3/2021 at 11:33 AM, LW Goatman said:

We are closer to 2060 than 1980. 

But I remember 1980 much better than 2060.  Why is that?

3 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

Who else has had this happen to them?

 

My son was a little over a year old when I had to shave my beard off for work.  When I came out of the bathroom clean shaven, he gave an impressive yell and climbed his mother like she was a tree.  He cried and screamed like I was killing them and just about strangled her, he held on so tight.  He wouldn't come to me until the next day.  So, yeah, I've had that happen to me.

13 hours ago, ABSR said:

But I remember 1980 much better than 2060.  Why is that?

Correolis effect.

2 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

My son was a little over a year old when I had to shave my beard off for work.  When I came out of the bathroom clean shaven, he gave an impressive yell and climbed his mother like she was a tree.  He cried and screamed like I was killing them and just about strangled her, he held on so tight.  He wouldn't come to me until the next day.  So, yeah, I've had that happen to me.

Same thing with my daughter. She also would freak if you wore sunglasses.

I have been on a sunflower seeds kick lately, gone through 4 or 5 containers of them.  
20 footers or 40 footers? Phrasing, you know.

Australia is wider than the moon. 2500 miles vs 2100 miles. Never realized it was such a tiny bitch.

In my life I have never seen anybody order ar a bar our buy in a likka store the scotch cutty sark.

Not sure how they are still around, but it must be big in the UK with the history of the clipper and such.

4 hours ago, markstanco said:

In my life I have never seen anybody order ar a bar our buy in a likka store the scotch cutty sark.

Not sure how they are still around, but it must be big in the UK with the history of the clipper and such.

Mexicans, dude.

 

eta: first google result is Celtic Güey

https://under500calories.com/recipe/b4917-celtic-guey-cocktail

Edited by GringoSalado

In honor of Chuck Norris 81st birthday today who still looks 50 I understand he took a trip to the Virgin Islands to celebrate the day and they are now known as “The Islands”

Was "The Deflowered Islands" already taken?  

 

A great big FUCK YOU to the person who decided to hit my truck and drive off in the hooters parking lot last night. I went to look at the lot cameras in their office but they were old cameras. All we know is it is an older silver dodge truck. Cameras were blurry so couldn't pick out the plate.

Luckily no dents, but Monday I takecit in and fork over $820 to fix it. 07af73e7cd11e34d05900a4ebf97c40f.jpg



A great big FUCK YOU to the person who decided to hit my truck and drive off in the hooters parking lot last night. I went to look at the lot cameras in their office but they were old cameras. All we know is it is an older silver dodge truck. Cameras were blurry so couldn't pick out the plate.

Luckily no dents, but Monday I takecit in and fork over $820 to fix it. 07af73e7cd11e34d05900a4ebf97c40f.jpg




Doesn't your wife drive an older silver dodge truck?

Hell hath no furry moment here... I went by tonight at the same time to see if he was there. Wasn't. I will periodically check. There was a dent and small sticker on the back window glass.

I have a pellet gun pistol that is now in my truck as of this evening.

If I win the lotto and find that truck in the lot i will shoot out a window and gloat about it on here. Not even kidding, hit and run assholes suck.

There’s hardly any millenials still in college, in case you didn’t feel old enough. 

A great big FUCK YOU to the person who decided to hit my truck and drive off in the hooters parking lot last night. I went to look at the lot cameras in their office but they were old cameras. All we know is it is an older silver dodge truck. Cameras were blurry so couldn't pick out the plate.

Luckily no dents, but Monday I takecit in and fork over $820 to fix it. 07af73e7cd11e34d05900a4ebf97c40f.jpg



Did that same person steal the gas out of your truck last weekend? [emoji23]
3 hours ago, EE2B said:


Did that same person steal the gas out of your truck last weekend? emoji23.png

giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47zdtbr5j500mfnv8t9d

39 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

That is what you get for going to Hooters anyway.

My 12 year old likes to go there to salivate, and my 10 year old is there for the queso.  Otherwise I agree. 

The wind has been something fierce where I live the last few months, didn't think it was possible that Trees had that many GD branches, twigs, whatnot that like to fall on the ground/yard. 

Really random, but anyone remember getting your car inspected in the 60s/70s? 

The state regulated the price of inspection, but the dealer could charge a dollar to adjust each headlight. Usually, the guy would walk out, scrape the old sticker off, put the new sticker on, charge $2.00 for the inspection, another $2.00 for adjusting the headlights if you had two headlights, and $4.00 if you had four headlights. Never had an inspection where they actually looked at the car until the state started running stings on the inspection stations I guess in the early nineties. 

The seven simple machines upon which all Western civilization is based are the wheel, the lever, the wedge, the inclined plane, the pulley, the small-block Chevy and the Colt Government Model 1911.

Fuck the commercials that ring a doorbell. Drives the dog nuts.

17 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

The seven simple machines upon which all Western civilization is based are the wheel, the lever, the wedge, the inclined plane, the pulley, the small-block Chevy and the Colt Government Model 1911.

And Jane Russell. 

9 minutes ago, Juicy said:

Fuck the commercials that ring a doorbell. Drives the dog nuts.

And the ones that emit a cell phone email signal.

Just now, Kennythetiger said:

And Jane Russell. 

I knew a guy who in his high school days worked as a grocery sacker in LA, and claimed to have sacked hers a couple of times. Terrible actor, but nice naturals. Howard Hughes was no dummy in those days... before he freaked out.

I’m on season three of peaky blinders. that russian duchess tatiana is one of the hottest, craziest women I’ve ever seen on screen. I think I’m in love. 

Edited by futureman

The arm over his brother saying nah, don't do it was the best part.

What the hell is the point of the subreddit /roastme

I always make a mental note if I’m watching a non football game that has a football like score. Like a 7-3 baseball game or a basketball game that’s 28-17 or whatever. I’ll even sometimes do a “Blue Jays with a field goal to get within four” voice over in my head. 

Edited by Bender Bending Rodriguez

On 3/21/2021 at 5:53 AM, castolon said:

What the hell is the point of the subreddit /roastme

200.gif

There isn't ONE SINGLE SCENARIO in this workplace harassment training I'm taking where "try sucking his dick" is the right answer.

1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

There isn't ONE SINGLE SCENARIO in this workplace harassment training I'm taking where "try sucking his dick" is the right answer.

Hey, you do you.  Suck away.

1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

There isn't ONE SINGLE SCENARIO in this workplace harassment training I'm taking where "try sucking his dick" is the right answer.

Well then they don't know how things really work, do they.

"You...you, you want me to suck his dick?"


"Oh...who the fuck is Dick?  Oh, okay.  Yeah, Dick Ritchie.  He's in my acting class."  

I bet even the smartest rocket scientist feels pretty dumb when he's watching a rocket he helped build take off only for it to explode on the launchpad. 

12 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I bet even the smartest rocket scientist feels pretty dumb when he's watching a rocket he helped build take off only for it to explode on the launchpad. 

Nah. They blame the weather.

Nearby Y is doing a HORSE Tournament as a fundraiser next month, really thinking of signing up for it.  

On 3/20/2021 at 2:33 PM, Juicy said:

Fuck the commercials that ring a doorbell. Drives the dog nuts.

Commercials on the car radio that play the sound of a car crash or a siren. Totally destroys my chill.

Gravel trucks that have a sign on the back that says "Stay back 200 feet. Not responsible for accidents." 

Makes me want to get a pellet gun, go to their yard at night, after doing the damage, put a note on the gate that says, "I'm not responsible for your windshields either, motherfucker."

No, I haven't done it. 

7 hours ago, Underdog said:

Nearby Y is doing a HORSE Tournament as a fundraiser next month, really thinking of signing up for it.  

That actually sounds pretty fun. 

It does.  They have it broken down into age groups, I'll be in the Set shot/Granny style group.  

Ancient Egypt was boring. 
What kind of building do you like?  Triangle. 
Ok, What else?  Big Triangle. 
Oh no the Pharaoh died, what should we do?  Triangle.

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