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Featured Replies

5 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Shaggy and Surly are at the zoo and they see a sea otter sucking his dick.
Shaggy: I wish I could do that.
Surly: That otter's gonna bite you.

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

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  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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South Plains Junior College n Levelland, TX was one of the first schools to offer a Country Music degree.

That place sounds pretty flat. Makes me wonder why they stopped there.

Edited by skipperj

Another one....

How many chicks did boz skaggs nail in the 70s and 80s? Good Lord it must approach 5000.

What's with British chicks clearly trading their asses for big tits? Any large breasted British woman almost certainly has a flat ass to the point it's nearly inverted.

I've had the climax blues.

For those of you that wear a fitbit or some other workout tracking watch, have you ever jerked off with it on to see how many calories you burned?  Does it start telling you good job and keep it up?  

Since you are now thinking about it, go ahead and post your results here.

1 hour ago, Moby Ric said:

Does it start telling you good job and keep it up?  

Kind of a contradiction under the circumstances, isn't it?

For those of you that wear a fitbit or some other workout tracking watch, have you ever jerked off with it on to see how many calories you burned?  Does it start telling you good job and keep it up?  
Since you are now thinking about it, go ahead and post your results here.


I wear my Fitbit on my left and jerk off with my right. I’d use my left but it’d feel like a sad uncoordinated amateur handy, like from high school.
On 5/27/2018 at 1:23 AM, BearMace said:

What's with British chicks clearly trading their asses for big tits? Any large breasted British woman almost certainly has a flat ass to the point it's nearly inverted.

I'm gonna need pics to back up this claim. For science. 

Capital One credit cards that can be turned "off" to prevent fraud.

Shouldn't cards be "off" by default, then turned "on" when you need to buy something?

 

hmmm

 

On 6/1/2018 at 6:54 AM, 'stache said:

...like a sad uncoordinated amateur handy, like from high school.

 

Damn, I miss those field trips on the bus.

 

Why would anyone have decorations with flags that have the words "Memorial Day" printed on them? If it doesn't say "Memorial Day" you can just leave it up for the 4th of July, too.

On 6/10/2018 at 12:46 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

When they were filming the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun how far did they have to lower the net to let Tom Cruise spike the ball

It was a ping pong table.

Do you think Eddie Van Halen's pin number is 5150 or 1984?

27 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

Do you think Eddie Van Halen's pin number is 5150 or 1984?

It's the number equivalent of FUDLR

At IHOP having breakfast while wife is at an appointment and just quietly ripped one, dude behind me started sniffing heavily. 

On 6/1/2018 at 6:54 AM, 'stache said:

 


I wear my Fitbit on my left and jerk off with my right. I’d use my left but it’d feel like a sad uncoordinated amateur handy, like from high school.

 

I thought after the advent of internet porn, everyone would go to their left. 

37 minutes ago, Deej said:

I thought after the advent of internet porn, everyone would go to their left. 

It's like being with a clumsy stranger. 

I'm happily married, but a pair of dark sunglasses at the community pool is one of life's great simple pleasures.

I am the asshole who castigates fans as they head for the tunnel before the game is over.

I'm happily married, but a pair of dark sunglasses at the community pool is one of life's great simple pleasures.
This. Although I'm divorced. I just left the pool by my apartment with my kids. Sorry, no pics.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

We don't want pics of your kids, well, some here probably do.  

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

I sometime crazy pickle slices, just pickle slices. Love em on occasion. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant.

Are you still drunk?

Debating optics is it better to hide in my office and nap or go home and sleep in the middle of the day.

3 hours ago, Washpark said:

Debating optics is it better to hide in my office and nap or go home and sleep in the middle of the day.

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2 hours ago, lateshow said:

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Just empty calories and male curiosity eh?

13 hours ago, GSU&UT said:

Just empty calories and male curiosity eh?

Outstanding. You'd fit in well here:

 

19 hours ago, Washpark said:

Debating optics is it better to hide in my office and nap or go home and sleep in the middle of the day.

mil-vs-moa-comparison-article-logo.jpg

23 hours ago, deadshank said:

Where do flies go at night?

The ceiling in my pickup, it seems.

I could continuously guzzle Nestles Quick chocolate milk until my stomach exploded. 

My office phone still makes me dial a bunch of numbers to call long distance, to track the cost for billing purposes. Does the phone company really still charge extra for long distance on land lines? Cell phones don’t charge extra, and communications are way more advanced these days. Does it really cost the phone company extra to transmit the calls over longer distance than locally?

On June 20, 2018 at 10:24 AM, 'stache said:

My office phone still makes me dial a bunch of numbers to call long distance, to track the cost for billing purposes. Does the phone company really still charge extra for long distance on land lines? Cell phones don’t charge extra, and communications are way more advanced these days. Does it really cost the phone company extra to transmit the calls over longer distance than locally?

No, they just get a laugh out of making you dial.

My uber driver to downtown the other day was named Malaka.  Super nice lady, white Toyota of some sort.  she's logged several thousands of rides so odds are one of you has had her drive you befroe.  

I like to maintain my 4.97 rating, so I couldn't yell into my phone what I wanted to yell into my phone, "What can I tell you Uber, I'm into Malakas!"  

On 4/19/2018 at 5:26 PM, mr. sunshine said:

I sometimes think other drivers really admire my driving. They just see how I handle my truck and it instills confidence. If they have a choice of lanes, they’ll follow me. It has nothing to do with their intended destination 

I have often felt on long road trips the symbiosis with another traveler. No admiration, just our innate desire to dance.

I can't get the "after these messages, we'll be right back" jingle from kids' cartoons in the 70s out of my head.

Just saw this today... Sargent York premiered in 1941, and was the highest grossing movie of that year and up to that point, ever.

When adjusted for inflation, it remains, even 77 years later,  the highest grossing film (per dollar value at time of release) of all time.

17 minutes ago, phdhorn said:

Just saw this today... Sargent York premiered in 1941, and was the highest grossing movie of that year and up to that point, ever.

When adjusted for inflation, it remains, even 77 years later,  the highest grossing film (per dollar value at time of release) of all time.

And it is a very good movie as well.

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