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  • Views 737.5k
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Most Popular Posts

  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • 58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Posted Images

#2952
On 3/12/2021 at 11:20 AM, markstanco said:

giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47zdtbr5j500mfnv8t9d

You wouldn’t happen to do prostate exams, would you?  Asking for a friend. 

#2957

She's been posting four-line "poems" with each of her animals.

Also this:

Capture.png

164054180-10223677828750437-254122388890

Someone needs to help her lay some pipe and give her some protein.  She's probably starving by now.

Edited by retsevlys

#2959
10 hours ago, markstanco said:

That's her. Any updates from those of you who ate friends with her

Is this meant to be an Uncle Boobs bat signal?

#2960
10 hours ago, markstanco said:

That's her. Any updates from those of you who ate friends with her

Double post

Edited by ABSR

#2961

Elon Musk and I both went to Hatfield Primary School in Pretoria, South Africa. He was 2 years ahead of me.

He is a billionaire. I am not. 

#2962
6 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Elon Musk and I both went to Hatfield Primary School in Pretoria, South Africa. He was 2 years ahead of me.

He is a billionaire. I am not. 

Lekker

#2963
On 11/12/2020 at 11:02 PM, markstanco said:

Why do guys who ride road bikes feel the need to wear costumes? At lunch today and a few guys came in wearing the normal: sleeveless jean jackets with patches, do-rag, mirror glasses.

I have a truck. Should I wear a cowboy hat and a bolo tie when I drive it?

 

On 11/13/2020 at 1:28 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Absolutely 

Hell yeah, I do... yippee kiyaa mother fucker

#2964
On 11/18/2020 at 10:47 PM, TKthunder2 said:

Wer, sudsy bar of soap popped out of my left hand in the shower and I snatched it out of the air with my right hand before it could fall to the floor.  I’m very impressed with myself right now.

Were you spitting on toilet paper at the same time?? If so, impressive, if not...no

#2966
23 hours ago, retsevlys said:

She's been posting four-line "poems" with each of her animals.

Also this:

Capture.png

164054180-10223677828750437-254122388890

Someone needs to help her lay some pipe and give her some protein.  She's probably starving by now.

Fucking amazing. It's the broken golf cart that's the issue. 

#2969
2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Today is "The Day Candy is 50% off at Walmart".

As are February 15, November 1, and December 26.  Not that I keep up with that sort of thing, you know.

#2970
On 4/5/2021 at 9:14 AM, Scheiss Meister said:

As are February 15, November 1, and December 26.  Not that I keep up with that sort of thing, you know.

The High Holy Days of my family calendar

#2971
On 4/5/2021 at 12:14 PM, Scheiss Meister said:

As are February 15, November 1, and December 26.  Not that I keep up with that sort of thing, you know.

Especially for Reese's Hearts, Pumpkins and Trees(throw in Eggs for Easter).  

  • 2 weeks later...
#2973

Clearly the accelerometer in my phone only exists to detect when I've thrown it down in disgust and walked away, now it can load whatever I was trying to look at.

#2974

After a few years of work with me on anger management, my therapist telling me "You're good, we don't need to meet anymore."

$400/mo extra play money beotches.

#2975
1 hour ago, Superhero said:

After a few years of work with me on anger management, my therapist telling me "You're good, we don't need to meet anymore."

$400/mo extra play money beotches.

Do NOT tell your wife.  Just keep "going" to therapy.

#2977
1 hour ago, markstanco said:

Whiskey
Tango
Foxtrot

Anybody bought fertilizer yet? Got damn $48 a bag for Turf Builder.

Nice humblebrag...buying the big bag for your huge yard...

#2980
On 4/15/2021 at 11:56 AM, Superhero said:

After a few years of work with me on anger management, my therapist telling me "You're good, we don't need to meet anymore."

$400/mo extra play money beotches.

spacer.png

#2981

one really effective way of getting all that baked on crap in your oven eliminated, without using harsh cleaning chemicals and wasting a lot of effort scrubbing/etc is to put the oven on bake and then turn it up to 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit 

#2982

Why did so many older dads in the 70’s like Kate Jackson the best among the Charlie’s Angels? I’m terribly vexed. 

#2983
23 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

Why did so many older dads in the 70’s like Kate Jackson the best among the Charlie’s Angels? I’m terribly vexed. 

Girl-next-door. Kinda like those who prefer Maryanne over Ginger. 

#2984

I think I just turned a corner in my unemployment.  I made nachos from some tortilla chips and shredded cheese I threw in the microwave like I was 12 years old and watched My Cousin Vinny back to back because I was too lazy to look for something else to watch.

#2985
On 4/17/2021 at 5:02 PM, Dbeasy said:

Why did so many older dads in the 70’s like Kate Jackson the best among the Charlie’s Angels? I’m terribly vexed. 

 

On 4/17/2021 at 5:27 PM, After irth said:

Girl-next-door. Kinda like those who prefer Maryanne over Ginger. 

Troof. Also, like Maryanne, she didn't seem high maintenance, and could probably cook. 

For further research, check out Jan Smithers and Loni Anderson. 

Jan+Smithers1.jpg

97d2d1f100db25ea02e15a2502527e35.jpg

#2986
14 hours ago, Richard Kimball said:

 

Troof. Also, like Maryanne, she didn't seem high maintenance, and could probably cook. 

For further research, check out Jan Smithers and Loni Anderson. 

Jan+Smithers1.jpg

97d2d1f100db25ea02e15a2502527e35.jpg

Bailey Quarters for the win!

#2987

Mary Ann > Ginger

Bailey > Jennifer

Janet > Chrissie

Buffy > Hilde...  wait, what? 

Jan > Marcia

Kelly > Jill > Sabrina

Shirley > Laverne

 

 

#2989
1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Mary Ann > Ginger

Bailey > Jennifer

Janet > Chrissie

Buffy > Hilde...  wait, what? 

Jan > Marcia

Kelly > Jill > Sabrina

Shirley > Laverne

 

 

You know how I know you’re a serial killer?

#2991

My wife and kids are gone tonight so I put out a call to a couple buddies to maybe grill and chill tonight.  Got this reply from a friend who's wife and kids will also be gone:

image.png

 

So, to recap, I've just been invited over to watch:

1)Paint dry

2)Curling on the internet

 

 

 

Edited by TexasHooch

#2992
17 minutes ago, TexasHooch said:

My wife and kids are gone tonight so I put out a call to a couple buddies to maybe grill and chill tonight.  Got this reply from a friend who's wife and kids will also be gone:

image.png

 

So, to recap, I've just been invited over to watch:

1)Paint dry

2)Curling on the internet

 

 

 

Do this instead. 

randy marsh masturbating GIF by South Park

#2996
3 hours ago, TexasHooch said:

My wife and kids are gone tonight so I put out a call to a couple buddies to maybe grill and chill tonight.  Got this reply from a friend who's wife and kids will also be gone:

image.png

 

So, to recap, I've just been invited over to watch:

1)Paint dry

2)Curling on the internet

 

 

 

That sounds like a friend who has a hook up and doesn’t want your ass over there. 

#2999
On 4/17/2021 at 5:02 PM, Dbeasy said:

Why did so many older dads in the 70’s like Kate Jackson the best among the Charlie’s Angels? I’m terribly vexed. 

I never watched Charlie’s Angels.

Saw Fawcett on campus in the flesh, so tv was... meh.

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