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Should I trust a fat doctor? I don’t mean a little chubby, more like a big old fat ass. 

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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On 6/18/2021 at 7:21 PM, Nolacycling said:

I don't like the response of "no problem", when I say thank you.

No worries.

why do hispanic folks commonly name their kid Jesus, but white folks don't?*

*i mean, at least as far as I can see
 

why do hispanic folks commonly name their kid Jesus, but white folks don't?*
*i mean, at least as far as I can see
 

Because crackers are too busy naming their kids Jaxson or Bradley.

 @Beau Vine’s username is a play on the word “Bovine”. I’ve been interacting with him on message boards for 10 years and I just realized that today.

3 minutes ago, Helobious said:

 @Beau Vine’s username is a play on the word “Bovine”. I’ve been interacting with him on message boards for 10 years and I just realized that today.

Shit like this is why people believed that you had never heard of Dale Murphy.

this commercial. I don’t get it.



“Returning to their old habits”

What old habits are they talking about? I’m thinking this advertising firm is stealing money.

They have an anti character they've resurrected,  "The Noid", who , like the Coyote continues to fail at stopping Domino's deliveries.

Those ads make me think of a period where companies were pulling back from deliveries in economically disadvantaged areas and there was a momentary roar. So, I'm trying to imagine this vehicle tooling down the streets of (fill in the blank) without being hijacked.

 

Domino’s sucks but when I was a poor college student it wasn’t that bad. My best experience was on spring break in 1987 when I stopped to spend a day with friends at Daytona Beach (on my way from Disney World to Hampton, VA where I was trying to see the Dead for the first time...unsuccessfully.) We were hanging out on the beach, drinking beer, and a Domino’s pickup came driving by selling slices. That was good marketing and totally hit the spot. If I was a poor college student now then I would probably devise a way to hijack one of those automated delivery vehicles. 


Because crackers are too busy naming their kids Jaxson or Bradley.
Brayden, Kayden, Okayden ...
7 hours ago, Born to Run said:
19 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Because crackers are too busy naming their kids Jaxson or Bradley.

Brayden, Kayden, Okayden ...

I have a friend with two young daughters:  Kaidynce and Kendahl. 

And another friend with a daughter named Braehlynn and is currently pregnant. Can’t wait to hear the name on THAT one. 

Got a neighbor kid named Garin.

WTF is wrong with people. 

The Rockin’ brand of flip flops at Bucees is hard to beat at about 15 a pair. They last a few years before a blowout (bottom tread completely gone) and are comfortable.

16 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

They have an anti character they've resurrected,  "The Noid", who , like the Coyote continues to fail at stopping Domino's deliveries.

Those ads make me think of a period where companies were pulling back from deliveries in economically disadvantaged areas and there was a momentary roar. So, I'm trying to imagine this vehicle tooling down the streets of (fill in the blank) without being hijacked.

 

Wasn’t there a Nintendo (original version) game with the Noid?  

15 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Domino’s sucks but when I was a poor college student it wasn’t that bad. My best experience was on spring break in 1987 when I stopped to spend a day with friends at Daytona Beach (on my way from Disney World to Hampton, VA where I was trying to see the Dead for the first time...unsuccessfully.) We were hanging out on the beach, drinking beer, and a Domino’s pickup came driving by selling slices. That was good marketing and totally hit the spot. If I was a poor college student now then I would probably devise a way to hijack one of those automated delivery vehicles. 

My high school had an open campus for lunch, and I still maintain that the Domino's pizzas that came out of the back of the pickup that posted up out front were somehow far superior to every other Domino's pizza before or since. 

When the two astronauts are inside the pod so HAL can't hear them.....They ask three times for HAL to rotate the pod bay doors.  HAL does not do so and as such, they assume HAL cannot hear them and continue to hatch their plan.  As we know, HAL can read their lips and tries to kill them.   yadayadayada

But if HAL could lip-read their whole subversive conversation, that means he could read their lips at the very start when they ask him to rotate the pod bay door and he refuses.  He was a pre-meditated murderer all along!  BURN HIM! 

 

36 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

My high school had an open campus for lunch, and I still maintain that the Domino's pizzas that came out of the back of the pickup that posted up out front were somehow far superior to every other Domino's pizza before or since. 

Those pizzas would be competing with the ones delivered to the 9th floor of Jester East at 11pm during an evening of Mexican brick weed. Jim Bakker and Cryin' Tammy provided the entertainment.

11 minutes ago, Nolacycling said:

Those pizzas would be competing with the ones delivered to the 9th floor of Jester East at 11pm during an evening of Mexican brick weed. Jim Bakker and Cryin' Tammy provided the entertainment.

If you think we weren't high during lunch, you might be one of my fifth hour teachers...

On 6/26/2021 at 10:32 AM, After irth said:

WTF is wrong with people. 

"I'M SPECIAL PLEASE LOOK AT ME"

For some reason, they are among the bottom 3 in customer satisfaction for durability/servicing but top 3 in brand loyalty.  People hate the maintenance costs/frequency on them but they keep buying them.  

Our trucking company ships most of their service dept. parts to the Texas dealership network of Land Rover.  We've been dealing with auto companies for decades (Detroit Diesel, Mercedes-Benz, Daimler trucks, et. al.).  Land Rover is the only company that purposely throttles down the shipping of parts.  they purposely work with  their dealerships to stay poorly inventoried to the consumers who need repairs.  I've never seen another manufacturer that does this.  Very random.  

It makes me really anxious for some reason when someone who is really talented at something (like art, photography, a sport) just seems to up and stop doing it.   Maybe they get burned out or bored and move on.  But it bums me out.

I hadn’t heard of this idea before, but would it be a fun watch to throw another ball on the field with each yellow card handed out by the ref?

It would no longer be futball, but would it be a fun watch?

19 hours ago, Willfully Horn said:

I hadn’t heard of this idea before, but would it be a fun watch to throw another ball on the field with each yellow card handed out by the ref?

It would no longer be futball, but would it be a fun watch?

It couldn’t be more boring, that’s for sure. ;)

vehicles you try to avoid driving behind

those with scooter/rascal carriers on the back

Native American license plates

Lincoln Towncars that are in really good shape (just avoid those that are in shit shape all together)

mini vans with broken shocks especially in the rear where they bounce around when they stop

postal trucks

 

You ever play a game of pool or something similar and just have the game of your life and realize that fucking no one saw it?

I was just at this place and it was dying down and me and this girl hung around to play one more game and I absolutely shredded her. Like put in 3 off the break, missed maybe one shot in total, and finished the 8 on a stupid shot going cue 8 ball rail straight back into the side pocket and I look up and I'm like... fuck. That might be the best game I've ever had and no one gives a shit. 

On 6/28/2021 at 3:59 PM, Patricio Swayze said:

It makes me really anxious for some reason when someone who is really talented at something (like art, photography, a sport) just seems to up and stop doing it.   Maybe they get burned out or bored and move on.  But it bums me out.

I struggle with this. I'm very talented musically but pursuing it kind of scares me and results in a lot of stress and anxiety. 

I think this poem sums up what you're referring to very well. (skip to :40)

 

Edited by ztejas

9 hours ago, ztejas said:

You ever play a game of pool or something similar and just have the game of your life and realize that fucking no one saw it?

I was just at this place and it was dying down and me and this girl hung around to play one more game and I absolutely shredded her. Like put in 3 off the break, missed maybe one shot in total, and finished the 8 on a stupid shot going cue 8 ball rail straight back into the side pocket and I look up and I'm like... fuck. That might be the best game I've ever had and no one gives a shit. 

Get on with the story. Did you put your cue and balls into her pocket or not?

Come to New Orleans for the architecture, history & culture...

...Stay for the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.

Corner of Natchez & Camp.03f1d65cac47aaa2e1e19c1cfe312938.jpg

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

Considering how compact and congested that part of town is, that's a really good parking spot/job.  

 

Random thought, I was reading an article from this journalist who wrote anonymously about how he carried on an affair during this pandemic.  Particularly during the lockdown.  The ruse was fascinating to read about, not from wanting to have an affair, but from a logistics standpoint.  And I thought about this cousin/second cousin of my mom's.  Everybody except his own family knew that he had a second family in Mexico. This was 70's & 80's.  So you could keep it relatively quiet I'm guessing.  I don't know whatever became of them all.  But I thought those secret second families.  Those are still a thing, even in this digital age.  How the fuck did the dads keep that shit up during Covid-19?  When you couldn't fly at the beginning, to not being able to enter certain states/countries, etc.  That would make for a fascinating movie or documentary to me.  To keep that lie up in these conditions for 18 months with all the extra steps?  I would watch that film. 

On 6/25/2021 at 2:58 PM, Jack Straw said:

why do hispanic folks commonly name their kid Jesus, but white folks don't?*

*i mean, at least as far as I can see
 

ISWYDT

On 6/26/2021 at 8:32 AM, After irth said:

I have a friend with two young daughters:  Kaidynce and Kendahl. 

And another friend with a daughter named Braehlynn and is currently pregnant. Can’t wait to hear the name on THAT one. 

Got a neighbor kid named Garin.

WTF is wrong with white people. 

Fixed.

Was just in the restroom and one of my coworkers must have peed for a solid 60 seconds. He had already started before I walked in, I did my thing and flushed, he was still going. Reminded me of Austin Powers.

 

 

I forgot to take the milk into the house because it had rolled under the back seat in the truck.  I am going to have to get the interior detailed to get the smell out or give it away.

DG3j.gif

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

Was just in the restroom and one of my coworkers must have peed for a solid 60 seconds. He had already started before I walked in, I did my thing and flushed, he was still going. Reminded me of Austin Powers.

 

 

Always called that the Ogre piss.  Revenge of the nerds 2

On 6/26/2021 at 10:32 AM, After irth said:

I have a friend with two young daughters:  Kaidynce and Kendahl. 

And another friend with a daughter named Braehlynn and is currently pregnant. Can’t wait to hear the name on THAT one. 

Got a neighbor kid named Garin.

WTF is wrong with people. 

 

IMG_0941.jpg

On 6/26/2021 at 5:32 PM, After irth said:

I have a friend with two young daughters:  Kaidynce and Kendahl. 

And another friend with a daughter named Braehlynn and is currently pregnant. Can’t wait to hear the name on THAT one. 

Got a neighbor kid named Garin.

WTF is wrong with people. 

why are you still friends with them?

19 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Waiting on the daughters to become strippers. 

giphy.gif

 

 

On 6/22/2021 at 9:15 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

Sheer number on football, you are correct. But on percentages, I still give it to baseball.

Agreed but basketball has to have the most hoes per capita.  

1 hour ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Waiting on the daughters to become strippers. 

Long game.  This is the Surly way.

1 hour ago, RollLeft said:

Agreed but basketball has to have the most hoes per capita.  

Ever been to a Dallas Stars game?

13 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Pretty sure Mike Modano banged everything that has walked into that arena.

Well then I may have to rethink going to a game.

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