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Featured Replies

On 6/22/2018 at 12:03 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

I can't get the "after these messages, we'll be right back" jingle from kids' cartoons in the 70s out of my head.

Dammit.

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    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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Today is my birthday. I’ve spent all day shitting water and vomiting, while taking care of my wife and child who have also been shitting water and vomiting. Happy birthday to me. 

7 hours ago, phdhorn said:

Just saw this today... Sargent York premiered in 1941, and was the highest grossing movie of that year and up to that point, ever.

When adjusted for inflation, it remains, even 77 years later,  the highest grossing film (per dollar value at time of release) of all time.

pretty intense

Did they just inflate Sargent York, or did they do the same for Titanic?

Titanic had Kate boobs.

Gary. Fucking. Cooper.

Y'all been thinking about going down to the shore?  

16 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Y'all been thinking about going down to the shore?  

Nah. Gonna go to the Philly Pizza Company and ordered some hot tea.

Please be careful driving around my neighbors.  They are not fleet of foot and I don't give a shit what connections you may have to any two-bit politicians in this two-horse shitshow of a town.  

My family and I drove from Houston to Weatherford yesterday. Wife and two four year-olds. 

We didn’t stop once. It was incredible. I’m feeling like the master of my domain. 

On 3/25/2018 at 1:35 PM, GSU&UT said:

Fever blisters suck

I’ve noticed that most people with oral herpes think calling it something else will fool people. 

Why does shit stink? It’s just the undigested portion of the food I eat and I don’t eat stinky food. I think the world would be a better place if my shit didn’t stink.

1 hour ago, skipperj said:

Roses really smell like poopoooo

You know, while roses themselves actually smell pretty good, the fact of the matter is, with as much fertilizer as most folk have to use to get them to grow at all, the stench of poop really is the overriding sensation in most rose gardens. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed.

2 hours ago, skipperj said:

I just really like to quote pop music.

 

New York, London, Paris, Munich
Everybody talk about pop musik

Talk about, pop musik
Talk about, pop musik
Pop pop pop pop musik

These single day off holidays always intrigue me.

Today is like a Thursday. And in two days it will be Thursday again. Wednesday will be funday Wednesday. And so will this Sunday.

These single day off holidays always intrigue me.

Today is like a Thursday. And in two days it will be Thursday again. Wednesday will be funday Wednesday. And so will this Sunday.


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On 7/1/2018 at 9:23 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

You know, while roses themselves actually smell pretty good, the fact of the matter is, with as much fertilizer as most folk have to use to get them to grow at all, the stench of poop really is the overriding sensation in most rose gardens. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed.

I beg your pardon.

These single day off holidays always intrigue me.

Today is like a Thursday. And in two days it will be Thursday again. Wednesday will be funday Wednesday. And so will this Sunday.



Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel. Friday has a feel. Sunday has a feel.

Does Lee Greenwood just live off of his July royalty check each year? Are May and June lean months in the Greenwood house while he waits for the July check?

I saw Lee Greenwood do his thing before the IndyCar race at RoadAmerica a week and a half ago, so at the very least, June is a warmup lap for him. 

I’m currently on vacation at an unnamed beach in the florida panhandle.  saw manny diaz at the beach club today.  flashed him the hookem, he stared blankly at me and had no discernible reaction.  he was also wearing a visor.  that is all. 

If giving birth hurts worse than a kick to the nuts, then why doesn't a guy ever ask to be kicked a 2nd  time?

I'm so bored I'm watching ex nfl players play flag football on the nfl network.

Why would this even be a thought of something to do in life..? #Can'tDoIt...

 

I’m currently on vacation at an unnamed beach in the florida panhandle.  saw manny diaz at the beach club today.  flashed him the hookem, he stared blankly at me and had no discernible reaction.  he was also wearing a visor.  that is all. 


Were you wearing your Buenos Diaz Bitchez shirt?

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Tim Tebow is dating his second Miss Universe, this one hotter than the previous. 

1 hour ago, ajax said:

Tim Tebow is dating his second Miss Universe, this one hotter than the previous. 

Might belong in the trivial things that make you surly thread.

9 hours ago, LongestHorn said:

Teenagers use waay too much toilet paper.  

Better than not using enough, and then touching all your stuff.

On 7/11/2018 at 12:39 PM, ajax said:

Tim Tebow is dating his second Miss Universe, this one hotter than the previous. 

Have tickets to see him in Binghamton next week...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mainly due to Billy Joel themed fireworks post game. 

If you think of 3 Taco Bell crunchy tacos + 32 oz of Dr. Pepper as food, you'll be disappointed.

If you think of it as a laxative, well sir, you will be a light-stepping happy man.

Yeah, that's a meal fit for a king. A king who will soon be sitting on the throne.

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