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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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17 hours ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

I find it interesting that many people throw away their pizza crusts but will at different times order bread sticks. 

But not at the same time, right? That’s kind of key, don’t you think? And how often do those bread sticks come with a dipping sauce? Always? It depends on the pizza and the crust but if there’s a lot of uncovered crust on the edge of your pizza then you might be eating shitty pizza. Look at a Dominos pizza. It’s easy to understand why someone would throw away those crusts.

This was the last pizza I bought. It’s not my favorite pizza in town but it’s good and really close. No throwing away of the crust with this one.

ABC059EA-1D55-4BC8-9037-2704A637CFAE.thumb.jpeg.e1f279be39880c5032c080406f3ad3c5.jpeg

14 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

 

Thought it said Haiku

My reading is off a bit

I need some coffee.

Driving home from the store I got a great view of an orange sliver of a crescent moon with Venus and Mars shining brightly nearby. Look to the west. I’m blocked by trees and neighbors’ houses now and can’t get a pic. 

Watching a MASH rerun. There’s a doctor working there who never actually got his license to practice medicine. Radar goes to inform Hawkeye about it and brings him the paperwork. Hawkeye is about to do something but Radar says choppers are coming. Hawkeye doesn’t hear them and Radar says, “Wait for it.” Just then I got an EAS warning about flash flooding (that doesn’t affect me) and an alert about thunderstorms according to....radar. Weird. 

I’ve been on Samsung and android forever. Decided to get an iPhone because family. Why in TF can I not have a finite number on battery usage on my 12? Why is this not an option? There is a battery icon and I get it. Is it 40 or 50 or 60 percent? No idea. Can’t glance. Must interact to see.

33 minutes ago, markstanco said:

I’ve been on Samsung and android forever. Decided to get an iPhone because family. Why in TF can I not have a finite number on battery usage on my 12? Why is this not an option? There is a battery icon and I get it. Is it 40 or 50 or 60 percent? No idea. Can’t glance. Must interact to see.

I know, you have to take .000001 seconds and swipe down from the top to see it. Ridiculous. 

McAllen ISD is hosting a HS volleyball tourney this weekend called “McAllen Poundfest”. Don’t know that they thought that all the way through. 

If not for the stench, it would be efficient for restauranteurs to keep swine outside the back door. 

Sly Stone and Sly Stallone should totally collaborate on some kind of project, just to be annoying.  Also Sly Stone could use the support I think.

Pitting useless, single ply, scratchy "John Wayne" style toilet paper in your guest bathroom is a passive aggressive way of saying "fuck you, don't visit".

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

17 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

Sly Stone and Sly Stallone should totally collaborate on some kind of project, just to be annoying.  Also Sly Stone could use the support I think.

Are you aware of the Summer of Soul documentary?

Questlove is following that up with a Sly Stone documentary.

https://www.variety.com/2021/music/news/questlove-direct-sly-family-stone-documentary-1234911032/amp/

15 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Pitting useless, single ply, scratchy "John Wayne" style toilet paper in your guest bathroom is a passive aggressive way of saying "fuck you, don't visit".

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
 

If it's just a powder room, i.e., not the bathroom that overnight visitors would use, it's more like saying "I bet you'll think twice before beshitting my house again." 

Otherwise, I agree. But a true guest bathroom really should have a bidet anyway - what better way to spread the gospel? 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

Does anyone that owns a Subaru not drive like a fucking moron?

On 8/6/2021 at 6:40 AM, OneOfTheOutOfFocusGuys said:

That’s amazing.  I remember thinking I guess old people think other old people are attractive.  Felt like she was whatever geriatrics thought was good for their mid fifties, but did nothing for me. 

And she was pretty terrible in her role. An all-timer comedy classic, but she was definitely the weak link. All that just for the “she’s a 10” line. 

JFC. Nobody EVER cast Bo Derek because of her acting abilities. She was perfectly cast in that role. It was a bit part. She appealed to a certain demographic and was exactly the sort of woman you’d expect a guy like Big Tom Callahan to go for.

Imo, she was still holding up pretty nicely.

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8 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

JFC. Nobody EVER cast Bo Derek because of her acting abilities. She was perfectly cast in that role. It was a bit part. She appealed to a certain demographic and was exactly the sort of woman you’d expect a guy like Big Tom Callahan to go for.

Imo, she was still holding up pretty nicely.

0507BAED-58E2-4368-A431-29945006BDB5.thumb.png.c917ffb728365e33f15f2e314cf10d3f.png

I'm too young to know who Bo Derek is but that woman is built like a man and could not be further from my type.

What kind of "men" do you hang out with, Z?  

That woman was fire back in her heyday and yes, her acting is about on par as the dude from The Room.  

She’s not even built like a man, she’s built like a walking stick. A couple old fashioned’s and 3 shots and I’d paint her face but she’s definitely nothing to write home about.

“The Browns enter the red zone brought to you by Mid’s True Sicilian Pasta Sauce.”

Good grief.

6 hours ago, ztejas said:

I'm too young to know who Bo Derek is but that woman is built like a man and could not be further from my type.

You hang out with a lot of men with big tits?

I know a support group for guys like that.  I am ztejas’ complete lack of taste.  

Edited by Lobo

7 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Bo Derek in 10 Ten hair in braids iconic swimsuit running on beach 11x14  Promotional Photograph at Amazon's Entertainment Collectibles Store

Just doesn't do it for me. Thin in the hips. Wide in the shoulders. Long arms. Looks like a 15 year old kid that runs cross country. 

Obviously she's very pretty - just not my body type.

Sorry to offend so many adolescent fantasies.

10 hours ago, Horn_Spanker said:

Can't sleep, walking through house in the dark I've counted 24 LEDS.

What's that, like $ .38 cents in annual costs?

You know how they make you enter those numbers and letters when you're trying to sign up for something on line?  They often confuse the fuck out of me.  They're all over the place.  So I just play the audio.  Maybe this should be in the getting old thread.

On 8/15/2021 at 4:34 AM, ztejas said:

Just doesn't do it for me. Thin in the hips. Wide in the shoulders. Long arms. Looks like a 15 year old kid that runs cross country. 

Obviously she's very pretty - just not my body type.

Sorry to offend so many adolescent fantasies.

Vic sock detected.

We need to figure out a way to launch Dr. Phil into the sun. Any total expenditure under a trillion dollars is a bargain. 

7 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

Replies ahoy

Holy shit, I've never been tempted to get on twitter.  But I want to be on this channel.  Nurses/hospice care workers share deathbed confessions.  How is this not a fucking TV show yet?  Obviously with anonymity.  I guess the nurses have to say nameless too because you easily track where they work and who died that week, but there's got to be a way to do this.  So much more interesting than most of the shit y'all watch on netflix.  I'm in!

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Holy shit, I've never been tempted to get on twitter.  But I want to be on this channel.  Nurses/hospice care workers share deathbed confessions.  How is this not a fucking TV show yet?  Obviously with anonymity.  I guess the nurses have to say nameless too because you easily track where they work and who died that week, but there's got to be a way to do this.  So much more interesting than most of the shit y'all watch on netflix.  I'm in!

Twitter is not like FB. It's a news feed for me. Some art. Some music. Food. The occasionally weird. 

I saw its use when the stRangers were in federal court for a bankruptcy auction. It was the only way to get news of the bids. I saw it was a window into breaking events. Even if it was foggy and sometimes false, that fake news fact checked was also a story. 

I find it more useful than FB. But, were still a product of our choices of what we read.

Isn’t the Caribbean technically in the Atlantic?  Just saying…

 

edit: also who goes to Hawaii but doesn’t swim in the Pacific

Edited by TKthunder2

Why is the app Garage Band necessary on iPhone? Why is it not in the App Store? When you get a new phone the app is there for less than .001% of the population.

Wouldn’t the Ring or Arlo or Venmo or even YouTube app be more popular? Of course it would.

On 8/14/2021 at 5:18 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

JFC. Nobody EVER cast Bo Derek because of her acting abilities. She was perfectly cast in that role. It was a bit part. She appealed to a certain demographic and was exactly the sort of woman you’d expect a guy like Big Tom Callahan to go for.

Imo, she was still holding up pretty nicely.

0507BAED-58E2-4368-A431-29945006BDB5.thumb.png.c917ffb728365e33f15f2e314cf10d3f.png

Damn, she's ugly.  Big shoulders and no ass.   Doesn't even know what "leg day" is.

 

I hate car radios that don't respond when you try to turn down the sound quickly.  

Sometimes I turn in the shower and after getting undressed, but before the water is warm enough to get in, I’ll just piss into the shower. I mean, I am right there and really need to kiss. Why waste more water? They’re all holes after all.

Shit, water is warm enough. See y’all later.

you wanted the best you got the best the hottest band in the world, PISSSSSSS.

 

If they ask you at Jimmy Johns if you want your sandwich cut and you say yes, they're not gonna cut your sandwich.

you wanted the best you got the best the hottest band in the world, PISSSSSSS.
 
If they ask you at Jimmy Johns if you want your sandwich cut and you say yes, they're not gonna cut your sandwich.

I like Jimmy John’s.

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