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21 hours ago, SurlyGator said:

No, I promise, you don’t. Besides, wouldn’t one time be one time too many?

Unless you're Vic 

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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On 12/23/2021 at 12:01 AM, Superhero said:

Wear a god damn helmet if you ski or snowboard. I took a tumble this afternoon and smacked the back of my head pretty hard against the snow. I came up a little dazed, but without it, I would be in a hospital somewhere getting a CT scan. 

Added benefit: They are warm as well.  I bought one three years ago on Amazon, in two trips it will pay for itself. Plus I get to dork-out and put my Go Pro on top. 

It’s rare to see a skier or rider without a helmet.  Safety concerns aside, I like the warmth it provides.  

On 12/28/2021 at 9:43 PM, Superhero said:

I usually go to bed earlier than my wife. I start by sleeping on her side of the bed so it’s warm when she comes to bed. I’ve been doing this for several years now. I know it sounds stupid but she really appreciates it and will occasionally toss some lovin’ my way as an appreciation. 

I do this exact same thing for my wife, except I slide over to her side when I have to break wind, then slide back over to my side and fall asleep. 

3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

I do this exact same thing for my wife, except I slide over to her side when I have to break wind, then slide back over to my side and fall asleep. 

I do this exact same thing for my son, except I stick my ass into his bedroom whenever I have to fart after he's gone to bed. 

On 9/14/2021 at 10:26 PM, ztejas said:

I'm watching game 2 of the 1993 NBA Finals on YouTube and Huey Lewis and the News comes out to sing the national anthem.

Huey Lewis looks like he's been doing blow for the past 3 days. 

Mostly I was interested in the basketball but this mini lesson in American cultural history isn't bad. 

 

A buddy of my Dad was their tour bus driver when they were big, and he said that they were the nicest bunch of guys he's ever met. 

Fuck me.  

GF's friend just told her that we need to go with her and her husband to a "speakeasy" that they've discovered. 


WTF does that even mean?  A FUCKING BAR???

It's California for chrissakes.   Weed is legal here.  We don't need to sneak around to get a fucking whiskey. I can buy a fifth at Albertson's at 6 AM on a Sunday. 

Corn chips are just thick tortilla chips. 

i’m kind of surprised more people don’t get their eyes poked out over the course of a lifetime.   think of how many injuries the average person (especially males) suffer during their life.  but it’s really pretty rare to see a person with an eye patch, if you think about it.  

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Not many pirates left

Not in Pittsburgh anyway. 

On 12/31/2021 at 10:38 AM, closetohumping said:

How many here have coffee within 30 minutes of brushing your teeth?  Kind of defeats the purpose?

Not at all.  Coffee breath and morning breath are not the same thing.  Morning brushing is to clear out the nasty shit that grew overnight and it does that even if you chase it with coffee.  

On 12/31/2021 at 4:22 PM, Jack Straw said:

i’m kind of surprised more people don’t get their eyes poked out over the course of a lifetime.   think of how many injuries the average person (especially males) suffer during their life.  but it’s really pretty rare to see a person with an eye patch, if you think about it.  

 

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4 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

 

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Got a BB gun for Christmas?

On 12/28/2021 at 9:43 PM, Superhero said:

she really appreciates it and will occasionally toss some lovin’ my way as an appreciation. 

Is she awake when she does?

I really dislike the “hype team” on the sidelines of college football games. It’s stupid.

Fixed it for everyone.
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Why’d you cover up whatever is under the PS? Now we’re gonna have to speculate.


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People should know when they are past their prime. This is my mom’s cousin. He was a movie star and a popular singer (actually still performs). He’s probably 80 something years old and dresses like a hipster. 

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Unless you only have one hand, nobody is really "left-handed" or "right-handed"...it's a 'spectrum of dominance', that's all (also my alt.metal band name).  I'm not quite ambidextrous, but I am probably 60/40 right hand v. left hand.  

As for belts, I put the end with the holes in it in my my left hip belt loop and go around counter-clockwise if that makes sense.  

I take South Austin's mom's bra off with just my left hand but use my right hand to stimulate her.  

5 hours ago, Longhornstampede said:

Do left-handed people put their belts on in the other direction?

I’m left handed, buckle is on the left side, you tell me.

what if you just flip the belt around...isn't it on the right then?  Or are you wearing a buckle with text/copy on it, so there really is just one way it can go?  

I should get my WWF intercontinental belt out of the attic and wear it more often.

5 hours ago, Lobo said:

Unless you only have one hand, nobody is really "left-handed" or "right-handed"...it's a 'spectrum of dominance', that's all (also my alt.metal band name).  I'm not quite ambidextrous, but I am probably 60/40 right hand v. left hand.  

As for belts, I put the end with the holes in it in my my left hip belt loop and go around counter-clockwise if that makes sense.  

I take South Austin's mom's bra off with just my left hand but use my right hand to stimulate her.  

That's how I do it but if you're right hand dominant do you start it through the belt loops on your right side hip?

And if you do run it through the belt loops around to the right, does that mean you have to get your name stamped on it the other way too so that it's not upside down?

If it's a belt that really has no "top" or "bottom" (like South Austin's mom), I guess I hold the buckle in my hand and feed the end with the "holes" (again, SAM joke) through the first loop to the left of my junk.  Then feed it around counter-clockwise until it comes back to the right of my junk where I then fasten it.  I never really thought about it until this thread.  I also dress to the left so maybe that has something to do with going that way.  

9 hours ago, Longhornstampede said:

Do left-handed people put their belts on in the other direction?

I switch back and forth. Wear a belt one way and it curves that direction. Flip it over and wear it the other way.

The U.S. government should whoever was in charge of the distribution campaign of AOL free hours cds about 25 years ago to head up the distribution of COVID tests.

That dude that thought of that lives here in Austin.  Great idea actually.  Do we have any blockbuster video counters on which we can place the testing packets?  

Can Barron Trump dunk? Google says he is 6'7". Doesn't look athletic, but can't teach height.

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On 12/28/2021 at 11:10 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I want to know how often you have to smell an obese woman's vagina when you work in an ER 

Hmmm... must be a Vic sock.

On 12/30/2021 at 5:27 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

I do this exact same thing for my son, except I stick my ass into his bedroom whenever I have to fart after he's gone to bed. 

And we wondered about his fixation on poop and farts.  You're subliminally brainwashing him in his sleep.

On 1/3/2022 at 2:42 PM, Lobo said:

what if you just flip the belt around...isn't it on the right then?  Or are you wearing a buckle with text/copy on it, so there really is just one way it can go?  

I should get my WWF intercontinental belt out of the attic and wear it more often.

It means you're a woman.

4 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Can Barron Trump dunk? Google says he is 6'7". Doesn't look athletic, but can't teach height.

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I see he inherited that doughiness gene.

I would think he plays hoops on his prep school team.  He's probably not even done growing yet.  NO idea where he lives these days (D.C. area, Mar-a-Lago area in Florida, New York?).  But the Prep school he was going to in Manhattan awhile back does compete in a really high-level private school conference that does exactly what you think it does---brings in high level recruits from out the outer boroughs on vouchers/scholarship to compliment the tall rich kids.  It's not like the rest of the high level New York athletic districts, but it's still pretty salty.  He doesn't look terribly athletic, but with that height, I'm sure they've carved a spot for him to work his way up to Varsity by 17 or so.  

I don't think any of the Trump family played hoops, competitively anyway (maybe junior high or some shit).  But Melania's got height and looks like she was athletic when she was younger.  Plus Slovenia has that next-door Croatian basketball DNA.  I bet Barron can hit the weights, work on that core, and make for a solid power forward by the time he's done in high school.  

I'm glad Lobo had 1200 words on whether or not a kid that none of us gives a fuck about can dunk or not. 

Just trying to be nice to the kid.  It's not his fault who is his parents are.  People shit all over the Bush and Obama girls when they were younger and I thought that was really fucked up.  Maybe the kid can find an outlet for his angst.  Be better, Ztejas.  Be Best.

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