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That obviously sucks, but we have a Problem Bagger at our grocery store who has the opposite disorder - as soon as a bag is 20% full by normal standards, it goes into the cart and a new bag begins. It's especially irritating when it's just a few small and/or lightweight things and it's almost like carrying around an empty bag. 

Wife does the curbside pickup with Wal Mart and they have multiple bags with single items in them. Then she wants to save them all so we end up with a hundred bags when we only have 4 trash scans to use them in.
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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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On 1/7/2022 at 7:30 PM, mchookem said:

i secretly judge the lives of people in front of me at the grocery store who unload their basket haphazardly and don't organize the items on the conveyor belt into logical groupings of produce, dry goods, cold, household, etc.

FYI & I don't know if this applies to any other grocery store, however @ HEB if you put all your veggies up front, that helps the "IPM" or Items per Minute for the register clerk.  They have a metric of how many things they can run through & scan.  If the products are veggies up front, they don't start the clock because those things need to be weighed.  If you've got a weight required produce item anywhere AFTER the 1st "regular" item (like, a box of whatevers, non produce), that does count in their time to scan.

 

Bottom line:  Help out the clerk & put all your veggies up front.

On 1/8/2022 at 10:18 AM, mchookem said:

i will literally go to a different cashier

I typically base my register choice on who has the cutest / hottest cashier girl (assuming over 18, of course).

4 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always make my own label at HEB.  Then all they have to do is scan it.

IPM's still count because even the bar code needs to have a rando check now & then.  Why?  Because someone can get a sticker for 3 oranges & then slip a 4th into the bag, that's why.

I rarely don't self check out at grocery stores. When I don't - I find myself bagging my own shit half the time anyway. 

2 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

I typically base my register choice on who has the cutest / hottest cashier girl (assuming over 18, of course).

Do you ID them all first? 

8 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I bet the bills in your wallet aren't even all facing the same way and ordered from smallest denomination to largest

Yes they are, well 20 ones, and a $50 on the outside

8 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

A pole to see who does it the correct way and who is a moron. 

See what now?

peanut brittle is the best dessert snack ever invented.  pumpkin bread a close second.

Edited by troph

1 minute ago, troph said:

peanut brittle is the best desert snack ever invented.  pumpkin bread a close second.

I make the world's best peanut brittle

1 minute ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I make the world's best peanut brittle

show me.

I was just at a stoplight checking out the hot blonde chick behind me. Then she raised a large banana to her lips and took a big bite. I thought, "Damn, that's hot."

/csb

A friend of mine bought a small rural hospital far outside of Austin to help house his collection of books which has to be close to a hundred thousand volumes by now.  Each former room of the hospital is themed for certain types of books.  It's really something, though a bit overkill.  

I've never read an e-book though.  I thought I'd get so much damn reading done during pandemic, but I didn't.  If we really are, as Brisket says, on the stupidest timeline...I'm doing my share of heavy lifting!  

Edited by Lobo

Not a random thought, but I am at Disney World with my family and we were walking through Magic Kingdom. I see a group of college age guys approaching, one or two wearing Georgia Tech shirts. One pipes up when he sees my Longhorn hat and says “horns down! Horns down!” I just rolled my eyes and kind of scoffed back. Georgia Tech?

On 1/13/2022 at 3:45 PM, troph said:

peanut brittle is the best dessert snack ever invented.

Riiight. I’m not falling for it. I know that as soon as I open the can, snakes will come flying out. You can’t fool me. 

5 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Not a random thought, but I am at Disney World with my family and we were walking through Magic Kingdom. I see a group of college age guys approaching, one or two wearing Georgia Tech shirts. One pipes up when he sees my Longhorn hat and says “horns down! Horns down!” I just rolled my eyes and kind of scoffed back. Georgia Tech?

did you punch the in the throat? you should have throat punched them.

45 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Sounds like something someone handing out snake-filled peanut brittle cans would say. 

motherfucking snakes in a can of peanut brittle?

9 hours ago, closetohumping said:

I use Audible and my Kindle quite often, but not gonna lie, I get sort of envious when I see someone with a large collection of books.

Can't say I feel the same.

I donated a lot of my books because they are just clutter on a shelf. Now the shelves are full of the kids' shit. Can't wait for them to grow up, toss their toys, and start reading e-books.

11 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Can't say I feel the same.

I donated a lot of my books because they are just clutter on a shelf. Now the shelves are full of the kids' shit. Can't wait for them to grow up, toss their toys, and start reading e-books.

This is how humanity is enslaved by a ruling class of cyborgs. People like you. I hope you're happy. 

did you punch the in the throat? you should have throat punched them.

Nah. I was out outnumbered by 5 or so and getting barred from Disney parks, while awesome for me, would ruin my daughter’s vacation.

My go to move for the horns down crowd is to flip them an upside down bird. 

 

Their reaction to that is very entertaining for me.

21 hours ago, Steel Shank said:

I was just at a stoplight checking out the hot blonde chick behind me. Then she raised a large banana to her lips and took a big bite. I thought, "Damn, that's hot."

/csb

She knew you were watching her. 

Nicole Briscoe is doing SC this morning and not only is she MILFy but has the best pair of legs on television, would wear them like a feedbag. 

Suppose that you had 20 (1970-90) years worth of Playboy magazines in Rubbermaid totes that you wanted to get rid of. Might be a few Penthouse and Oui in the mix. Can't vouch for the sanitary nature of all of it. How would you do it?

Just now, Shoxthemonkey said:

Suppose that you had 20 (1970-90) years worth of Playboy magazines in Rubbermaid totes that you wanted to get rid of. Might be a few Penthouse and Oui in the mix. Can't vouch for the sanitary nature of all of it. How would you do it?

Do what somebody did for guys our age back in the 80's...sprinkle issues around the woods and forest preserves and creek beds in your area for upcoming youth to find and enjoy.  Obviously the creepy part is the inevitable event somebody having a picnic lunch out there sees you roaming around the woods with an armful of nudie mags on their camera phone.  But I'm sure you have good legal counsel. 

10 minutes ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Suppose that you had 20 (1970-90) years worth of Playboy magazines in Rubbermaid totes that you wanted to get rid of. Might be a few Penthouse and Oui in the mix. Can't vouch for the sanitary nature of all of it. How would you do it?

Why would you do it?  

8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Do what somebody did for guys our age back in the 80's...sprinkle issues around the woods and forest preserves and creek beds in your area for upcoming youth to find and enjoy.  

This. The legacy must continue.

Damn, Lobo. That really hits yada yada. First one I ever saw was 1962, under a bridge that my Grandpa was fishing off of. Hid that bad boy in my tackle box and went back to the car "not feeling well". Sue Lyon was the featured talent. You never forget your first. Started me down a path that I have never strayed far from. Poor grammar. Sue me.

Just now, Kennythetiger said:

Why would you do it?  

I bought a router table and need the room. I guess I could sell the bondage rack.

7 hours ago, Underdog said:

How much? 

Three fiddy. Duh

Edited by Shoxthemonkey

Just received an email for a lease renewal for my apartment.  Will be a 25% increase.  Fuck!!!!!

just saw Willie Nelson trending on twitter and thought the worst

 

 

Edited by elfenix

A subcontractor gave me suite tickets to the Rams - 49ers game this weekend. Hell. Yeah.

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Go 9ers!

 

My address compels me to root for the Rams.

On 1/19/2022 at 10:37 AM, Lobo said:

Do what somebody did for guys our age back in the 80's...sprinkle issues around the woods and forest preserves and creek beds in your area for upcoming youth to find and enjoy.  Obviously the creepy part is the inevitable event somebody having a picnic lunch out there sees you roaming around the woods with an armful of nudie mags on their camera phone.  But I'm sure you have good legal counsel. 

This is the only correct response, though I would also encourage you to consider under bridges as a prime location. 

However, I'd advise you to make sure that there is no, uh, DNA evidence that could potentially identify you as the local Porn Fairy. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

3 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

This is the only correct response, though I would also encourage you to consider under bridges as a prime location. 

However, I'd advise you to make sure that there is no, uh, DNA evidence that could potentially identify you as the local Porn Fairy. 

Yeah, I mentioned that in the OP. My son tells me that when he was in middle school, he and his buddies would visit the tote before going on camping trips and the like. I'm gonna guess that there are lots of donors stuck to the pages.

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