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7 hours ago, Superhero said:

My blood pressure and heart BPM are both high. Turns out I can help both of those by getting more than 5 hours of sleep per night. 

In a row?

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  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

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  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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4 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

Guy at bar just asked his lady friend: "So you know what Sarbanes-Oxley is?"

Just trying to gauge how "compliant" she might be.

9 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

Guy at bar just asked his lady friend: "So you know what Sarbanes-Oxley is?"

He was trying to guage how long she holds on to shit and bring it back up to use it against him in the future

9 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

 

 

Edited by Longhornstampede
Fucking hell!

9 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

 

 

Edited by Longhornstampede
Fucking hell again!

9 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

In a row?

That's not a thing

15 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

Guy at bar just asked his lady friend: "So you know what Sarbanes-Oxley is?"

Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you are a cop.

Sarbonne-Oakley
it’s the law that says you have wear a goatee with a beret in lieu of an under armor hat

Edited by Lobo

I saw a dually pick up truck today that had been retrofitted back into a "singly" rear axle and the pronounced overhang of the rear fenders made it look like one of those silly pictures were someone has shaved only half of a very fluffy pet. 

6 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I saw a dually pick up truck today that had been retrofitted back into a "singly" rear axle and the pronounced overhang of the rear fenders made it look like one of those silly pictures were someone has shaved only half of a very fluffy pet. 

Sounds like you saw someone who had been robbed. 

The main SMU board is on 247 - so I've had a $9.95 subscription on and off for awhile now. 

It's a pain in the ass to cancel - but I have now twice cancelled and then resubbed with the $1/month promo they use to get people to resubscribe (or subscribe initially). So I've gotten 3 months now for just $1/ea in maybe a year and a half of using the service. 

I'm wondering how far I could take it. They unfortunately don't let you cancel (anymore) without going through someone working there - but this last time I made the request then got an email and never read it (I just switched my payment to a dead cc and said fuck it) then a couple days later they cancelled it anyway. 

i.e. they don't have a stipulation that you have to be a new user to get the first month for $1. I'm probably ruining this for myself as I'm sure some asshole from 247 will read this but whatever. 

My blood pressure and heart BPM are both high. Turns out I can help both of those by getting more than 5 hours of sleep per night. 

7+ hours of sleep has a megatron of health benefits, not just that.
1 hour ago, markstanco said:


7+ hours of sleep has a megatron of health benefits, not just that.

Wish I could get 7 hours of sleep.   Wait does it have to be continuous?

1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

Wish I could get 7 hours of sleep.   Wait does it have to be continuous?

haha....I used to run on 4 and 5 hours of sleep as well.  It takes a while to get used to it.  I try to be in bed by 1045 and asleep at 1130.  Alarm at 6:30a.  Maybe this should be in the olds thread. 

Fucking Covid.  It's been hard on everyone, I get it.  but fucking-A...the sleep thing...what the fuck?  It started as a mere disruption to normal routines so I slept like shit...kids were no longer getting up and getting ready for school, I didn't get up to go in-person to anything, wife didn't go to work.  I get it.  But two years in, I can't fucking shake it.  I cannot get a good night's sleep anymore.  I've tried almost everything.  If I can get a really, really solid uninterrupted 6.5-7.5 hours, I'm fine.  But last two years, if...BIG IF...I get 5-7 hours, it's complete garbage and filled with wakeups.  I probably get 2 nights a week of solid 7 hours of quality sleep.  The other 5 nights are just a shitshow.  And I can't get back on track.  I'm gonna look into edible CBD or whatever.  Anybody got any suggestions?  

The moon is closer to you than just about everything else. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

The moon is closer to you than just about everything else. 

So is Pluto. 

Fucking Covid.  It's been hard on everyone, I get it.  but fucking-A...the sleep thing...what the fuck?  It started as a mere disruption to normal routines so I slept like shit...kids were no longer getting up and getting ready for school, I didn't get up to go in-person to anything, wife didn't go to work.  I get it.  But two years in, I can't fucking shake it.  I cannot get a good night's sleep anymore.  I've tried almost everything.  If I can get a really, really solid uninterrupted 6.5-7.5 hours, I'm fine.  But last two years, if...BIG IF...I get 5-7 hours, it's complete garbage and filled with wakeups.  I probably get 2 nights a week of solid 7 hours of quality sleep.  The other 5 nights are just a shitshow.  And I can't get back on track.  I'm gonna look into edible CBD or whatever.  Anybody got any suggestions?  
I take melatonin every night, right before bed, no screen time or reading after that, just some relaxing music or meditation.
I take melatonin every night, right before bed, no screen time or reading after that, just some relaxing music or meditation.

Try taking it an hour before bedtime
23 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

The moon is closer to you than just about everything else. 

What happens if you get caught between the moon and New York City? 

11 minutes ago, Underdog said:

What happens if you get caught between the moon and New York City? 

Anoxia. 

What happens if you get caught between the moon and New York City? 

That sounds crazy.

My friends had their kid’s 7th birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese. It’s in a nice’ish part of town so it was actually pretty clean and the patrons weren’t in tank tops and flip flops.

I ordered a round of beers for the dads. When they asked whether I wanted to keep the tab open, I said “No. I don’t want them getting drunk and brawling at a Chuck E. Cheese.”

The entire crew behind the counter LOL’ed. I guess they had watched the videos or had a brawl happen in their location before. 

...at that stage in my adulthood where i'm just binge watching tons of footage of world war 2....

I take melatonin every night, right before bed, no screen time or reading after that, just some relaxing music or meditation.

I tried melatonin for a couple of weeks but it gave me some horrible dreams. I woke up yelling on 3 separate occasions.
15 minutes ago, Hate said:


I tried melatonin  but it gave me some horrible dreams. 

yep

24 minutes ago, Hate said:


I tried melatonin for a couple of weeks but it gave me some horrible dreams. I woke up yelling on 3 separate occasions.

Thanks for the literal nightmare fuel.  I may still give it a try, but I think I need to finally buckle down and get some mild CBD edibles.  I know a dozen people in the business, don't know why I haven't tried it yet.  I was never really a weed guy despite my touring with the Grateful Dead.  I quietly enjoyed the vibe in the corner but my problem was pleurisy (which is why I was so afraid of Covid early on).  Two hits of weed and I was in a coughing/breathing fit for ten minutes.  Kinda takes the fun out of it when that happens.  Then all of a sudden edibles became a thing, tried it once out of state and liked it.  Problem is in Texas, even a low-THC edible is the devil's tongue and even asking about one is a felony.  Meanwhile it could help so many people whose rhythms have been disrupted by Covid-19, never mind much more serious medical conditions and psychological issues.  Some days, we're just Oklahoma with oil and no weed.  

Bob Marley is watching me.

Have a neighbor that moved in behind me a few months ago... maybe? I've seen then once or twice but they have no blinds on the window that faces me. But there is a box, with a picture or painting of Bob Marley sticking out the top of it. It faces right at my window. I look out, Bob Marley is there.  Box hasn't moved in weeks. Bob just keeps watching, man.

On 2/21/2022 at 7:59 AM, Hate said:


I tried melatonin for a couple of weeks but it gave me some horrible dreams. I woke up yelling on 3 separate occasions.

 

On 2/21/2022 at 8:29 AM, Lobo said:

Thanks for the literal nightmare fuel.  I may still give it a try, but I think I need to finally buckle down and get some mild CBD edibles.  I know a dozen people in the business, don't know why I haven't tried it yet.  I was never really a weed guy despite my touring with the Grateful Dead.  I quietly enjoyed the vibe in the corner but my problem was pleurisy (which is why I was so afraid of Covid early on).  Two hits of weed and I was in a coughing/breathing fit for ten minutes.  Kinda takes the fun out of it when that happens.  Then all of a sudden edibles became a thing, tried it once out of state and liked it.  Problem is in Texas, even a low-THC edible is the devil's tongue and even asking about one is a felony.  Meanwhile it could help so many people whose rhythms have been disrupted by Covid-19, never mind much more serious medical conditions and psychological issues.  Some days, we're just Oklahoma with oil and no weed.  

They weren't terrifying dreams, they were just fucking weird af dreams when I take melatonin. 

Today I found out that if my upstairs thermostat goes wonky it's possible to come home to a house that's 70 degrees downstairs and 96 degrees upstairs

I woke up in a cold sweat and could suddenly remember:

Coke once had a promotion where if you popped the top of a winning can, a $1 bill would pop out. But they had to end the promotion because sometimes the spring loaded device would fail and the winner wouldn’t notice they won until they took a drink of whatever liquid was used to preserve the bill.

Would suck if you were REALLY thirsty, too, and the vending machines back then didn’t accept bills, so you couldn’t just buy another one right there unless you had more change.

17 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Today I found out that if my upstairs thermostat goes wonky it's possible to come home to a house that's 70 degrees downstairs and 96 degrees upstairs

That moist, warm airmass is going to cause a nice rain storm in your living room when it meets the downstairs air.

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

That moist, warm airmass is going to cause a nice rain storm in your living room when it meets the downstairs air.

Something something your mom's moist, warm mass

On 2/23/2022 at 2:25 PM, Js1 said:

 

They weren't terrifying dreams, they were just fucking weird af dreams when I take melatonin. 

The nicotine patch will do that too. 

My wife got a pretty generous bonus this year. I guess her company did better than expected. It'll be bigger than my bonus, but don't care because it all goes to the same account.

But her company got bought last year and they will have to conform to the new company's standards - less cash bonus, more stocks.

Is foreign (ie not your spouse or SF) boob contact more often incidental. I've asked a few female friends and they said for the most part it's rarely incidental or accidental

34 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Is foreign (ie not your spouse or SF) boob contact more often incidental. I've asked a few female friends and they said for the most part it's rarely incidental or accidental

I touched my geography teacher’s boobs in middle school. There were a lot of us jostling around her and my hand brushed against her boobs. It was not accidental. 

4 minutes ago, Superhero said:

I touched my geography teacher’s boobs in middle school. There were a lot of us jostling around her and my hand brushed against her boobs. It was not accidental. 

No I meant accident from the lady’s side. 

The new york philharmonic orchestra and the new york symphony orchestra are 2 separate groups

2 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Is foreign (ie not your spouse or SF) boob contact more often incidental. I've asked a few female friends and they said for the most part it's rarely incidental or accidental

One thing I missed during Covid was women coming in for the hug and instead of pulling back, they'd kind of side-swipe off the hug to then resume the conversation.  You got a nice boob mush thing going.  Just in the last few weeks as hugs started again (I'm not a fan in general)...I'll just gesture with the one arm/perpendicular hug, but more and more women and turning back in with the chest signaling we have turned the corner on this brutal virus.  I figure I only got a couple more years before creepy old man status takes this little thrill from me.  

My real wish though is to figure out a way to get women's asses rubbing against me during friendly greetings.  Thanks a lot Bin Laden! 

13 minutes ago, Lobo said:

One thing I missed during Covid was women coming in for the hug and instead of pulling back, they'd kind of side-swipe off the hug to then resume the conversation.  You got a nice boob mush thing going.  Just in the last few weeks as hugs started again (I'm not a fan in general)...I'll just gesture with the one arm/perpendicular hug, but more and more women and turning back in with the chest signaling we have turned the corner on this brutal virus.  I figure I only got a couple more years before creepy old man status takes this little thrill from me.  

My real wish though is to figure out a way to get women's asses rubbing against me during friendly greetings.  Thanks a lot Bin Laden! 

Not just hugs, but say you're at work and you feel a pair brush against your back with an "excuse me" or if that happens at a bar.  Or at the library or at church? Back in the pre Covid days of course.

I'd like to attend church services with you at Our Lady of the Busty Brushby

(but yeah, used to happen back in the days when I'd go to crowded bars).  

Maybe you're just a swell looking guy who doesn't give yourself enough credit.  

Here's my long-winded Lobo theory.  I've got a broad frame.  Only 6'1" but I've got extremely wide shoulders and unusually long arms/hands for somebody of my height.  So I can't just slip through any two people in a public place.  I gotta size up a crowd from a ways back so I don't bump anybody or get into a fight or get #metoo'd.  Covid brought this to regular sized people's attention.  You gotta actually, consciously, maneuver your way down a store aisle, or restaurant foyer, or public hallway.  Maybe women do the same to you.  They need to get through a path of least resistance.  Obviously the size of the men in their path is a concern but they perhaps also think, "Well shit, if I gotta go sideways and rub my chest up against somebody...may as well be that decent looking guy CTH."  Or not, I don't know the rationale and we probably shouldn't talk about it anymore but I've been rubbed up on on purpose as they explained to me afterwards and there were many others that were just unforced errors and still many that were just happy accidents for all involved.  Don't question why they started or stopped, just smile they happened in the first place.  

9 hours ago, Lobo said:

Only 6'1" but I've got extremely wide shoulders and unusually long arms/hands for somebody of my height.

Your new nickname is Coco. 

13 hours ago, 52-80 said:

The new york philharmonic orchestra and the new york symphony orchestra are 2 separate groups

Which one is better?

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