Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

So we can't touch the coffee maker, the remote control, the glassware that's kept 4" from the toilet, or the comforter?  

If we're honest, men jerk off to their laptop at the hotel room desk---right?  You might wanna think about that the next time you sit down to eat room service at the desk.  I defiled your chair and eating area the night before.  I guess people still watch those $29 movies from their bed and jerk off into a tissue or wash cloth...but that seems so pricey in this day and age.  And sure the movie titles do not appear on your folio (but all adult movies cost $29.95 and all Hollywood hits cost $19.95), but the lady at the front desk knows...she knows.  

  • Replies 11.2k
  • Views 721.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    58 years ago today….  

  • Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Posted Images

Of course she knows. The whole thing's a racket. She runs the switchboard for the hidden video cameras that they pipe to the pervs who are paying $29.95 to watch you spank it. You spank it in a hotel room you're just feeding the beast.

18 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I'm never going to a hotel room again.

It sounds safer to sleep in the car, in some instances...

 

I saw a ragged C5 Corvette on the way to work today, and I thought to myself, "Boy, I sure don't miss Rocko." 

I hear that flight attendants use those hotel coffee pots by putting there panty hose  in them to run the hot water through to wash them.  

Edited by RollLeft

<------   Uses the hotel coffee pot because not a pussy. 

10 minutes ago, Underdog said:

<------   Uses the hotel coffee pot because not a pussy. 

RIP.

No politico, but holee shit, just saw a picture of Sen. Bill Nelson (Fla.).  I mean, it's the same guy, plus the same name.

SenNelson-739x400.jpg

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvhcMolffEEwiF0LbelJV

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

RIP.

Death by Flight Attendant flavored coffee? 

2 hours ago, phdhorn said:

No politico, but holee shit, just saw a picture of Sen. Bill Nelson (Fla.).  I mean, it's the same guy, plus the same name.

SenNelson-739x400.jpg

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvhcMolffEEwiF0LbelJV

Leave Senator Nelson alone - he's got enough on his plate with his courageous battle against the Andromeda Strain. 

I saw a ragged C5 Corvette on the way to work today, and I thought to myself, "Boy, I sure don't miss Rocko." 
The fact that Rocko came to mind shows you do in fact subconsciously miss Rocko.

When I get bounced to a call center in India DO NOT tell me your name is Austin.  It took a good 5 minutes to clean up the spew I had from that.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP

This would suck if this happened to any man: 

 

 

Part 2 of the sucky story for this man-kid:

 

 

Why doesn't Sonic sell hamburgers anymore?

Not going to order a cheeseburger and say hold the fucking cheese.

 

On 8/8/2018 at 12:08 AM, Horn_Spanker said:

Why doesn't Sonic sell hamburgers anymore?

Not going to order a cheeseburger and say hold the fucking cheese.

 

Because no one eats a burger without cheese?

4 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Because no one eats a burger without cheese?

Discuss that with my colon.

I've watched so much Game of Thrones that I think Eric Flowers is a bastard from the Reach

13 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Because no one eats a burger without cheese?

That's not cheese. 

I hear that flight attendants use those hotel coffee pots by putting there panty hose  in them to run the hot water through to wash them.  
Man hot pantyhose normally costs an extra $10
On 8/8/2018 at 12:08 AM, Horn_Spanker said:

Not going to order a cheeseburger and say hold the fucking cheese.

 

Surly GM Steakhouse employee says that’s exactly how you’ll order so shut up and don’t hold up the line 

Because no one eats a burger without cheese?

Discuss that with my colon.


I prefer syrup.
On 7/27/2018 at 11:28 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Watching a Johnny Carson rerun from July 29, 1983. The guests are Carrie Fisher and Garry Shandling. Garry says to Carrie: "Your parents are Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. Are you familiar with my parents Irv and Muriel Shandling?"

Part of the episode:

 

Every single one of those people in the Carson vids are dead except Burt

Edited by NorthLoop

10x more worried about west Virginia than oklahoma.

Afraid WV may hang 50 even with this DB crew. They are going to be that good.

17 hours ago, kopp0e said:

Ok, this is a thing...

 

Weak ass wrestling, but I'd bang her. Extra points if she's wearing the mask.

1 hour ago, RPM said:

Weak ass wrestling, but I'd bang her. Extra points if she's wearing the mask.

Haha, (why hadn't I thought of that)..?

I

It was troubling how sharon’s Death was so glossed over in the 1989 made for TV movie, “double standard” starring the great Pamela Bellwood and Michele Green as sister wives who don’t actually know one another.  

On 7/16/2018 at 10:31 AM, Incredulity said:

Are there fans of Polka music, per se?  Or people who dance to Polka music.  

I would be weirded the fuck out if I showed up at somebodies house and they were just "enjoying" Polka music.

There is no debate. It’s Myron Floren. 

My dad used to listen to him perform live from radio studios when he was a kid in South Dakota during the Depression. That was before Myron joined the Lawrence Welk band.

my Dad got a 3/4 size accordion that I still have. He would amuse us when we were kids by playing a few cords. That’s when he wasn’t blowing smoke rings for us from his pipe.

My sister and I asked him once if he played  the air accordion, pretending to be Myron Floren. He denied it, but we suspect  he was lying. 

My original intent was to come hear and profess my love of chipmunks. Cute little bastards are the only rodent worth a shit. 

21 hours ago, Lobo said:

It was troubling how sharon’s Death was so glossed over in the 1989 made for TV movie, “double standard” starring the great Pamela Bellwood and Michele Green as sister wives who don’t actually know one another.  

Or how they gloss over the blond girl's death in Taken. Like nobody gives a shit about her after they find her dead. She's like Barb from Stranger Things

10 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Or how they gloss over the blond girl's death in Taken. Like nobody gives a shit about her after they find her dead. She's like Barb from Stranger Things

He had a certain set of skills of which sympathy was not one.

2 hours ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

I was on the first row of the Titan roller coaster (Six Flags Over Texas); and it really is a game changer and an exponential thrill compared to even the second row. Intense and insane doesn’t even describe the experience.

I almost shit myself watching this.

9 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

I almost shit myself watching this.

My kind of coaster and first row or go home.

If you have ever wondered of the evolution of vehicles from the boxy looks of the 1980's to the smooth looks of today, here you go..!

 

Was the term MILF a thing before American Pie?  It's a full blown porn genre now but I honestly don't know if American Pie invented the term or if it existed before. 

Edited by 'stache

A trendsetter, I am not...but I remember vividly using MILF in high school (and I was in high school almost a decade before that movie came out).

My random thought is: (no humblebrag) Is it littering to toss down to the ground pennies and nickels?  I got 9 cents back at a drive-thru and just tossed the dirty worthless coins on the ground and the manager said I was littering.  But is it littering to throw money on the ground?  Actual currency?  I would never do this but if you tossed a handful of dollar bills out of your car window, could the police pull you over for that?  

Also, it's Saturday at 3:30p and there's been a helicopter circling my office in downtown Austin for an hour.  Anybody know what the deal is on that?  

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.