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Featured Replies

Love me some Leslie Neilson. The Naked Gun and Airplane franchises never fail to make me laugh. Let's celebrate this man's birthday with some favorite quotes,  images and moments from one of the best. 

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  • Author

nothing_to_see_here_naked_gun.gif

Captain, how soon can we land?
I can't tell.
You can tell me, I'm a doctor.

I am serious and don't call me Shirley.

  • Author

Cigarette? 

Yes, I know. 

 

Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.

Frank Drebin: When I see five weirdos stabbing a guy in broad daylight, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy.

Mayor: That was a Shakespeare In The Park production, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

How soon can we land? 

I can't tell you. 

You can tell me, I'm a doctor. 

 

Edited by honolulu horn

1 hour ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Hey!  It's Enrico Palazzo!

I am in charge of announcing home games and handling music for my son's little league (Post Oak).  I am playing Frank Drebin singing the national anthem game 1.

9 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

I am in charge of announcing home games and handling music for my son's little league (Post Oak).  I am playing Frank Drebin singing the national anthem game 1.

A bunch of bombs in the air...

1 hour ago, Johnny Sack said:

I am in charge of announcing home games and handling music for my son's little league (Post Oak).  I am playing Frank Drebin singing the national anthem game 1.

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Who are you? And how did you get in here?

 

I'm a locksmith. And I'm a locksmith.

Became a fan after his brief appearance in The Poseidon Adventure. 

 

3 hours ago, honolulu horn said:

How soon can we land? 

I can't tell you. 

You can tell me, I'm a doctor. 

 

No. I mean I'm just not sure.


Well, can't you take a guess?


Well, not for another two hours.


You can't take a guess for another two hours?

 

 

That exchange always cracked me up

The attempt on Nordberg's life left me shaken and disturbed, and all the questions kept coming up over and over again like bubbles in a case of club soda.

Who is this character in the hospital and why was he trying to kill Nordberg...and for whom?

Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn't have any proof but somehow, I didn't entirely trust him either.

Why was the I Love You not listed in Ludwig's records?

And if it was, did he know about it?

And if he didn't who did?

And where the hell was I?

 

-Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.

-Goodyear?

-No, the worst.

“Cuban?”

“Uh no, Dutch Irish. My father was from Wales.”

Sorry I couldn’t hear you, don’t fire the gun while your talking

i got nothing to add but wanted to subscribe. Drebin is the tits and if he is the most studied aspect of late 20th century film/tv then we did something right after 2021...

side note, where can one download or view for free/low cost the police files? shit always good for a laugh, especially folk whom are unaware of the greatness...

Heroin... Heroin, Frank! 

Uh, Nordberg... that's a pretty tall order. You're gonna have to give me a couple of days on that one.

I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was....

I know it's been discussed in other threads, but he was a character actor for 30 years.  Played the heavy sometimes, lotta cop/military roles, bit of romantic angles from time to time.  But mostly straight work in TV and film for 3 decades.  Most of the stuff he appeared in didn't have one funny line it.  And then the Zucker Brothers thought, "What if we put Leslie Nielsen in the picture, and he acts like a stiff, just like he always does...but the people around him awkwardly react to the literal meaning of his lines." 

It was actually a huge casting/production risk at the time.  Though the Doctor Rumack character doesn't have that many scenes/lines, it was one that the entire premise of the "Zero Hour" adaptation relied.  If they could get the studio, and the audiences, to laugh at a straight player like Nielsen just saying perfectly normal lines under completely absurd circumstances, then the rest of the laughs would fall into place.  Nielsen doesn't laugh, or even smile, in any of his scenes in "Airplane!"  He does no physical comedy (though maybe the egg/bird thing was sorta silly).  And he doesn't come along until halfway through the movie, but his deadpan role sets the tone for the entire picture.  And it's doubly hilarious that he's just playing the role like he did every role before it for three decades.  He's not even the straight man, there's a handful of those already in the cast.  He's just a stiff delivering lines that make it his best role ever and enshrine "Airplane!" as one of the funniest films ever made.  It launches Nielsen's second career and for 30 more years he's one of Hollywood's funniest actors and he relishes in it, and absolutely kills.  

I contend that the funniest Leslie Nielsen acting scene in history is when he has no lines.  He's just sleeping in a window seat with a stethoscope around his head during a nap, for no discernible reason.  Then Elaine wakes him and asks him to help, and from then on...it's his movie and the legend was born.  

My stepmother is a retired R.N. and not generally a fan of comedies. Even so, I can always make her chuckle with these quotes from Airplane!:

"This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."

"A hospital? What is it?"

"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

 

Hope you're resting in peace, Nick "The Slasher" McGuirk.

You can't take a guess for another two hours?  

On 2/11/2021 at 9:53 PM, achooloco said:

i got nothing to add but wanted to subscribe. Drebin is the tits and if he is the most studied aspect of late 20th century film/tv then we did something right after 2021...

side note, where can one download or view for free/low cost the police files? shit always good for a laugh, especially folk whom are unaware of the greatness...

Several of them are on YouTube.  Watched them yesterday 

On the subject of YouTube clips, here's a fave from the original Naked Gun:

The whole thing is hilarious, but George Kennedy's, "WHY?!!!" fucking slays me. Never gets old.

  • 8 months later...

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