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Get your %^&$ shoes off the coffee table! and other rules you had then and now

Featured Replies

WTF ?  Was it etiquette camp ??!  Camp was all about not doing the shit you had to do at home.
We had to use manners, make up beds, clean foot locker, etc. I'm sure every camp is similar. Say a curse word and brush your teeth with liquid soap. Nobody did.

1. Don't go outside before 7:30AM on Saturday morning. No problem the cartoons come on then. Wait for my little friend to knock to have me come out and play. The dew was still on my mom's roses and hibiscus and would perfume the air and the sun would start to warm up the world and there was a whole day of fun yet to be had. 

2.Come home before it gets dark. Hated the days when that happened so early, but the glorious days when that happened at around 8PM were always when the most fun was being had.

Every weekday my mom would have to try to wake me up out of bed and I'd give her a fight. But on Saturdays,  I sprung up all by myself real early for the best day of kiddom. 

33 minutes ago, markstanco said:
1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:
WTF ?  Was it etiquette camp ??!  Camp was all about not doing the shit you had to do at home.

We had to use manners, make up beds, clean foot locker, etc. I'm sure every camp is similar. Say a curse word and brush your teeth with liquid soap. Nobody did.

So how was your time in the Air Force?

Don't stand there with the refrigerator door open and stare.  Get it and get out.

Eat everything on your plate.

My parents were teachers, so my dad usually took a second job during the summer while my mom stayed home with us.  Every summer day the routine was get up, eat breakfast, get out of the house and do not come back in until called for lunch, then get back out and don't come back in until the street lights came on.  We could come in for a serious injury, but blood, disfigurement, or death better be involved.  With there being four of us boys, I don't blame my dad for working to get away, and my mom for running us out.  God, it was great.

7 hours ago, SurlyORama said:

Never call someone a liar.

You’re full of shit. 

Lots of stuff similar to what’s been said but my mom absolutely refused to let me go outside barefoot.  She would tell me I’d get “hookworm.”  I’m not that old but I believed it at the time.

When I got older she let me play barefoot and stuff at slip and slide birthday parties and shit. Later on she told me she didn’t think it was classy for kids to run around barefoot so she told me I’d get hookworm if I did it. 

Both parents were pretty big sticklers for table manners and my mom HATED “European style” of keeping your fork in the same hand you used to hold it in place while cutting.  She’d order us to put our knives down to take a bite. To this day I am more comfortable doing the fork and knife switcheroo. 

I should have mentioned this one that my grandmother drilled into us: if you found the gate open, leave it open.  If you found the gate closed, close it.  If you let the cattle get out, you have to gather them up and get them back in the right pasture.

19 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

It was definitely a church thing. I never questioned why at the time although I would find it odd that it did not stop me from having to do other things like mowing the yard or something like that. My dad was rather strict thus I did not ask. Over the years, though still being an old school strict person, he has fished on Sunday’s while on vacation.

In my family there was no clear line between religion and fly fishing. 

3 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I should have mentioned this one that my grandmother drilled into us: if you found the gate open, leave it open.  If you found the gate closed, close it.  If you let the cattle get out, you have to gather them up and get them back in the right pasture.

 

The golden rule on my grandfather's farm. And you better by god follow it.

 

On 3/5/2021 at 7:19 PM, Mother mopar said:

My dad would yell at me all the time "close the back door, I'm not paying to AC the damn neighborhood."

 

23 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Don’t you dare tell your mother 

 

23 hours ago, The Ace of Aces said:

Never leave the house with the dryer or washing machine running.  

 

or toilet

 

22 hours ago, deadshank said:

Don’t shit in the downstairs guest bathroom.  
 

You either stay in or stay out. Quit slamming the damn screen door. 
 

If you do something while I’m at work and your mother calls me I will kill you (and he meant it).  

 

21 hours ago, tfoolry said:

Don’t touch thermostat 

 

21 hours ago, Longhornstampede said:

Put the tools back exactly where you got them or don't use them

You eat when your mom says and with everyone else

 

 

4 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Don't stand there with the refrigerator door open and stare.  Get it and get out.

Eat everything on your plate.

 

 

I think I've turned into y'alls parents.

 

3 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I should have mentioned this one that my grandmother drilled into us: if you found the gate open, leave it open.  If you found the gate closed, close it.  If you let the cattle get out, you have to gather them up and get them back in the right pasture.

On a dairy, because of your last phrase, you closed the gate, regardless of how you found it.

1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

 

 

or toilet

 

 

 

 

 

I think I've turned into y'alls parents.

 

Believe me you're not the only one...

My mom's was you eat what I'm cooking or you go hungry.  Aside from my birthday dinner, she never once asked what I liked or wanted for dinner.  Also we never had soft drinks or store bought sweets like cookies, cakes or pies around, except when my dad would go get generic cookies in a white box with the word "cookies" in black printed on it.  They were like cardboard, but he'd get them for when he went fishing or something like that.  Otherwise we only got cookies or other sweets on special occasions or holidays and they were always homemade.  Also, when my mom was alive, if we ate in the formal dining room, we almost always had to be "dressed", which meant shirt with a collar and pants, not t-shirts and shorts.  Oh, and don't fart in the car.  She wasn't having that either.

We say grace and we say ma’am and if you ain’t in to that, we don’t give a damn. 

On 3/6/2021 at 8:12 AM, markstanco said:

I went to camp stewart in Hunt in 3rd and 4th grade. If your elbows were on the table a councilor would sneak up behind you, grab your arms, and slam your elbows on the solid wood table.
 

Foxes Den 1976

11 minutes ago, TexMex Horn said:

Foxes Den 1976

Hare's nest (I think??) and Iguana something I think.  It was the two story towards the end for 5th graders. 

On 3/6/2021 at 7:54 AM, mininghorn88 said:

This and:

Don’t sit too close to the TV. It will hurt your eyes.

Mom said we got radiated and low sperm count

26 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

Mom said we got radiated and low sperm count

How would your mom know how potent your load was?  

1 minute ago, Lobo said:

How would your mom know how potent your load was?  

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How would your mom know how potent your load was?  
With a name like mullet?
1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Don't swallow your gum or your insides will all stick together.

Gum will stay inside you for seven years. 

4 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Don't swallow your gum or your insides will all stick together.

Don't swallow watermelon seeds or a watermelon will grow in your stomach.

Hat/ballcap off at the table. This one I felt was so archaic and unreasonable, yet to this day if I am wearing a ball cap indoors, which itself is rare, I will take it off when seated at a table to eat.

33 minutes ago, UTPhil2006 said:

If you’re on time you’re late 

Some truths are eternal.

2 hours ago, DonkeyCigars said:

Hat/ballcap off at the table. This one I felt was so archaic and unreasonable, yet to this day if I am wearing a ball cap indoors, which itself is rare, I will take it off when seated at a table to eat.

Same. And like someone else said they never ever asked us what we wanted for dinner and we had to finish our plates before we could be excused.

No MTV either.

2 hours ago, UTPhil2006 said:

If you’re on time you’re late 

We all knew the person who would set the clocks in their homes/cars to be 12 minutes fast so they'd invariably end up on time even though it appeared they were running late.  Obviously their brain knew what they were doing so it probably dicked around and lost the "found" time.  But I get why people did it.  We were all on different clocks for centuries.  But then about 20 years, somebody had the whacky idea to put us all on geosynchronous time.  There's no reason to show up to shit 10-15 minutes early anymore, to account for differences in watches/clocks.  Just 5 minutes is sufficient because we're all on the exact same timer nowadays.  

But the creepy thing is, I still know people who set their non-cell phone clock/watches 10-15 minutes ahead.  Still.  To this day.  I do not fucking get that.  Frankly, it's freakin me out! 

4 hours ago, UTPhil2006 said:

If you’re on time you’re late 

Yes, this is the cornerstone.

”If you are early you are on time; if you are on time, you’re late, and if you’re late, you’re fired.”

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

We all knew the person who would set the clocks in their homes/cars to be 12 minutes fast so they'd invariably end up on time even though it appeared they were running late.  Obviously their brain knew what they were doing so it probably dicked around and lost the "found" time.  But I get why people did it.  We were all on different clocks for centuries.  But then about 20 years, somebody had the whacky idea to put us all on geosynchronous time.  There's no reason to show up to shit 10-15 minutes early anymore, to account for differences in watches/clocks.  Just 5 minutes is sufficient because we're all on the exact same timer nowadays.  

But the creepy thing is, I still know people who set their non-cell phone clock/watches 10-15 minutes ahead.  Still.  To this day.  I do not fucking get that.  Frankly, it's freakin me out! 

This is still me. The time in my vehicles always confuses the kids who think they are late for school/activities.

The only way I can explain it, and it’s not really justifiable I get it, is that growing up I manifested some sort of paranoia and anxiety about being late, because it was ingrained at an early age that punctuality is the hallmark of a gentleman and showing good manners and breeding. It’s courteous, kind and, as an older teen/adult, professional.

To this day I pride myself on my punctuality.  I believe it shows people I respect them enough to respect their time. Conversely one of the biggest pet peeves I have is for those who would be habitually late. It’s why the Good Lord saw fit to send my wife for me to fall in love with. It’s humbled me, let’s say.

Edited by DonkeyCigars

My kids (young adults now) have always heard me say, “It is better to be an hour early than a minute late”.

5 hours ago, UTPhil2006 said:

If you’re on time you’re late 

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8 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

My kids (young adults now) have always heard me say, “It is better to be an hour early than a minute late”.

My dad said that a lot, usually when we were complaining about how early he thought we should leave for an airport.

Every woman ever, "Event starts at 7:00p?  I'll start getting dressed at 7:30p."

Every woman ever, "Flight departs at 7:00p?  Let's get to the airport at noon."  

Get them to sign on the line that is dotted.

On 3/9/2021 at 10:09 PM, DonkeyCigars said:

Yes, this is the cornerstone.

”If you are early you are on time; if you are on time, you’re late, and if you’re late, you’re fired.”

In the law, the expression is "if you're ten minutes early, you're five minutes late." 

The only rule I was ever explicitly told was to not to get a girl knocked up. 

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